"No bitch-assness.
"I first heard that phrase when I was 17 and playing in a pick-up basketball game in Buffalo, New York. It hit me like a haymaker, such an eloquent use of syntax unlike anything that had previously graced my ears. It was so simple, so to the point. Even if you didn't know what it meant, you knew what it meant... know what I mean?
"No bitch-assness.
"Don't be a bitch-ass. Don't display qualities of a bitch-ass. Don't come up in here without bathing away the odor of bitch-assness that currently wafts around you and accompanies you into any room. Man the fuck up, and handle what you need to handle... because none of us have any intention of doing it for you, bitch ass.
"No bitch-assness.
"Muddy Waters is a bitch ass. Muddy Waters is the type of dude that would ask his mother for a cookie and be told no, so ask his father while they were all in the same fucking room. Muddy Waters is the type of dude to beg a teacher for extra credit and then not even hand the assignment in. Muddy Waters is the type of dude to hear a stock he owns is about to tank, and dumps it to his family. Muddy Waters is the type of dude that tells you to your face how great you are, and shouts from the rooftops that you're in a stratosphere of your own... only to make his way down into the gutters and look for any way to tarnish your name behind your back while he himself is dripping with filth.
"No bitch-assness, Muddy. We're not here for that weak shit. We're professional wrestlers for fucks sake, we get in the ring and kick the ever loving shit out of each other for money and the entertainment of complete strangers. You should know how this business works by now, Muddy. You're a champion... well, you were, unless you get your head out of your ass and realize Shane
is breathing down your neck as we speak. Regardless, you know what happens when you smile to someones face and then try and plant a knife in their back.
"You get what's coming to you, because the person you tried to double cross is the greatest of all time and you fucking know it.
"I tried to be nice, Muddy. I tried to goof around with my friend Aidan, and tried to have a little wink wink nudge nudge with the Rim Gaydus shit. Not because I thought I had some grade-A material there, or because I thought I had found some way to work around the system... I did all of that because you had embarrassed me with your promo more than you had embarrassed yourself. What was I supposed to do, come in here and bury a guy that had pretty much just put a shotgun in his mouth and thanked us all for the memories? I tried to take it easy on you, and I tried to play jester for a week. Not Cadryn Tiberius Ball Tickler To The Kings Jester, mind you... just a general funny guy.
"I feel no such pressure to protect your shitty dignity anymore. I feel no such pressure to try and be the nice guy when you won't offer me the same courtesy. The jester is gone, the former Universal Champion is out to play. The guy that's forgotten more Xtreme reigns than you'll sniff is knocking at your door. The guy Dolly flicks it to each night is walking past her bedroom and kicking into yours in the middle of the night.
"Remember that you brought this on yourself, when you wake up bloodied and broken and popping percocets a week later. Remember that after you graciously bowed your head and admitted you were a beta-cuck I was willing to let it be.
"You poked the bear. You pissed me off, tried to do some shady shit, and you're going to have to suffer the consequences.
"Sorry 'Fagget'.
"Fear the Raven... Forevermore."