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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
An Xtreme Swan Song
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Muddy Waters Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



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#1
03-22-2018, 10:56 AM



Looky here folks...

I ain't gunna' french this shit up...

Muddy Waters is goin' down this Saturday, and that's just that- it ain't a damn question.

James Raven? At ol' sumbitch isa' bonafide man, fuckin' legend in this here federation- and fer' all of Muddy's grit, all of Muddy's resolve and all of Muddy's ginormous pecker girth, it still ain't gunna' be enough ta' overcome these here odds I'm facin'.

James Raven has faced the best this place has to offer, and he's purdy damn much sent em' all home packin'. How the hell am I supposed ta' compete with somebody like at'? Even that ol' generic, mildly better version of erikblack, Robert Main, was sure to point out that Muddy probably wont be the Xtreme Champion by the time we square up on Warfare- because Robert Main knows deep down inside of his pussy he himself wouldn't sniff one of Raven's farts without it roasting his face either. And Robert Main is the fuckin' Omega! Just ask him! He'll tell ya' all about it with exclamation points after each sentence.

Seriously folks, what am I? I mean really. In comparison to even some of the weakest sumbitches this place has ta' offer, Muddy Waters is still just a drunkard hillybilly, right? I mean fuck the fact that I'm the XTreme Champion. Or that I'm currently ranked the number two contender fer' the Big Belt- becasue let's just be honest, the X-dubya-ef right now is bleeding talent and I'm just a benefitin' from bein' here now to stir up TV ratings when management needed Muddy the most.

Oh and that title rankin' shit? Guess who's number one?

James GOTDAMN Raven.

Fuck me runnin'.

But seriously, people. What the fuck am I? Muddy ain't been back but a month or so and let's take a look at all the shit been said bout me:

Done been called a redneck.

Done been called a .

Done been called a cousin fucker.

Daughter fucker.

Sister fucker.

An inbred.

Worthless.

Homeless.

Third grade educated.

Meth cooker.

Rot mouth.

Pile of shit.

The list goes on and fuckin' on.

Erry' damn play on stereotypical southerner ball-gobblin' bullshit done been hurled at ol' Muddy and yet erry' bit of it pales in fuckin comparison to what will inevitably some sorta' Manson-esque mind control mouth runnin' shit that ol' Raven sends Muddy's way.

How the fuck am I supposed to not be deterred by it?

How can a man who get's accused'a all at affer'mentioned shit by things called Seabass Dyke and Gaydryn Tiqueerious stand toe to toe with a man as fuckin properly polished as James Raven?

The fourth rated All Time Great, ABOVE DR. GOTDAMN D'VILLE! Doctor D'Ville is a scary mutherfucker too! He controls people's minds and shit, teleports and had a homosexual love affair with fuckin' meth smoking demon- James Raven is greater than that!

Muddy is fucked- simple as at'.

Cause James Raven ain't like these generic bozos I've always faced. Fake ass tough guys wit pretty pictures who portray deep, even dark intellectual sides coupled with their extraordinary fighting talents, witty quips and cliche ass catch phrases. Nah nah, hunnay. James Raven ain't another generic play on erry' other generic self proclaimed badass that's waltzed into harms way against Muddy Waters- James Raven is the man.

Ladies and germs, it's been a helluva seven day or so run as yer' XTreme Champion, but even a fill in the blank southern stereotype like Muddy Waters is smart enough to know when he's been had- and at' six foot five, two hundred twenty two pound, free healthcare havin' Canadian sculpture is gunna' have his way with this ol' Kentucky boy. I've seen the tapes. James Raven is better than me.

He's smarter, faster, stronger, better lookin', likely STD free, probably never smoked crack or slept with GD storefront prostitutes. His triangle lock? It makes Muddy's 'Southern Stretch' look like a GOTDAMN Indian Burn . His Ravensault makes the Mudstomp look like a damned ol' rope swing dive. James Raven is my fuckin superior, folks. End of discussion.

So Muddy's gunna' do what any respectable southerner does when they know'd they enterin' an unwinnable battle. Muddy is gunna get FUUUUUUCKED UP just before the fight!

Muddy's gunna' drink a beer.

Muddy's gunna' drink another beer.

Muddy's gunna' guzzle a half pint of Old Gran Dad Whiskey.

Muddy's gunna' toot em' a perc thirty.

Muddy's gunna' drink another beer.

Muddy's gunna' fill ems lip fulla' dip.

And Muddy fuckin Waters is gunna ride inta' the Alamo like Davey GOTDAMN Crockett and give James Raven erry' thang he's got ta' offer- and just hope that it'll be enough that you fans of mine, and fans of this sport in general will look at Muddy and know that I wuddunt no pussy.

But don't you good folks worry. Muddy Waters may go down at Saturday Savage and take his lump from The G.O.A.T, but Muddy is gunna' bounce back and you can bet yer' asses Muddy'll be better fer' it, show up at Wednesday Warfare and teach at Robert Main a first hand lesson in not bein' a boring faggit.

So here's to all of you sumbitchs!


Muddy cracks a can of Natty Ice open and holds it up to the camera.

Bein' yer' XTreme Champion has been one of the greatest honors of my life, and to lose it to James Raven on Saturday Savage will be another honor.

Muddy chugs the entire beer back, spilling some if it on his chest and throwing the can into an enormous pile of beer cans on his lawn- a replica sculpture of which you can purchase on XWF.COM

It's been a fun ride, folks- but the Muddy Waters train is rollin' on.

[Image: Backstage%2BTalk.gif]

(3X) Federweight Champion
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