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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
No beds in Nazareth: The Muddy Waters Story
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Muddy Waters Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



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#1
03-21-2018, 09:56 AM



The opening credits begin to roll with an old bluesy roots-rock jam by The Band playing over some juxtaposing imagery of Pikeville, Kentucky. It's decaying infrastructure, baring a scant trace of a once vibrant coal mining community, is now frozen in time and devoid of charm. An open sore of desperation surrounded by a lush environmental majesty beneath the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains that would almost make one believe they’ve found providence.

The voice of a narrator begins over the imagery:

This is Pikeville, Kentucky...

Home to one of the country’s highest poverty rates with a population nearly ninety five percent white, and ninety nine percent Christian; Pikeville is also the most dangerous city in the entire state of Kentucky. On average, the community sees over six hundred property crimes and nearly forty violent crimes per year. That in relation to it’s tiny population leaves Pikeville’s residents susceptible to a one in three hundred chance of receiving monetary and/or bodily damages each and every year.

A once bustling and economically sound blue collar sanctuary, Pikeville, like much of the South, began to expierence a rapid decline in its standard of life due to many factors. Coal companies in the seventies began shutting thier doors to move out west where newer coal was easier and cheaper to mine. That, along with a growing anti-union sentiment led to many good paying jobs leaving the area- turning Pikeville into nothing more than a giant government handout project.

But for all it’s glaring deficiencies, Pikeville at least isn’t without character. There’s a charming little general store and grocery on the corner of Main Street and First Avenue that’s been functioning since the forties. Across the street a local pub where the few coal miners who still exist come to drink and talk politics and sports.


We see the inside of the smoky, dimly lit barroom. Sitting along the main bar counter are several older looking gentlemen- each dressed in overalls of one form or fashion- or the other. They're each drinking a draft beer and reflecting their local high school football team's past season. We pick up mid conversation.

"Well I'd sure as shit like ta' seen em' go further- they'da matched up purty good gainst' Saint X this year."

"Yep"
"Yas'ir yer' right."

The other two men simultaneously respond,

"See I think Coach mighta' had them boys lookin' ahead to the State Title game- but wuddya' do? Helluva season."

"Yas'ir- sho'was"
"Yep yer' right"

"But'cha know- aint a never gunna' be a season like em' boys had in '03."

"Nas'ir- sho'wont be"
"You aint never lied"

The narrator's voice chimes back in as the men continue their conversation inaudibly:

And Pikeville certainly isn't without it's pride. But I'm not talking about their regionally renowned 'Hillbilly Days' expo, or their recent dabbling with white nationalist groups. No, I'm talking about their Pikeville High School Football War Eagles and the young man who became immortalized as a community's dream of decency and success...

We're shown a fading billboard just outside of the high School's football stadium.
[Image: 20180320_132308.jpg?width=400&height=227]
Oliver Stone Presents...

No Beds In Nazareth:


The Muddy Waters Story
5 Episode Series Coming Soon To ESPN and XWF TV





I turn the television off and stand there quietly for a second, my arms crossed and face growing red.

"Muddy...."

"Yeah, Brian?"

I turn around and look to where Muddy is sitting on his couch cracking a beer open and fiddling with some stupid looking smart phone, acting as if he hadn't a clue what I just watched.

"What in the fuck was that?"

"What was what?"

I walk right up to Muddy, crouching down a bit to level myself with his stupid fucking face. Quieting my tone in fear having the LAPD called over to his dump of an apartment I struggle to remain calm...

"I'm talking about th-the..."

I bite my lip hard as fuck, rolling my eyes back before refocusing on Muddy who still isn't looking at me and trying to navigate Twitter or some stupid shit. My hands are literally shaking in rage.

"...THE FUCKING TRAILER TO THE MUDDY GODDAMN WATERS STORY."

"Got'damn boy!"

he says wiping some of my angry spit from his forehead.

This was totally unbelievable...

Muddy Waters, an aborted baby due to a positive trisomy 21 screening, reincarnated by a goat fucking shaman in a barrel of bourbon flavored meth brew- turned transient junkie who can barely spell his own stupid fucking name is having a documentary of his life produced by....

"Oliver-FUCKING-Stone, Muddy! Oliver Stone!"

"Awww yeah- at's the man who's makin' a movie bout' Muddy."

I'm about to lose it...

One of my personal heroes has made a documentary about the very piece of shit that I'm trying to destroy so that I can make a documentary on his far more interesting, talented, educated, miracle on fucking Klan Street prodigy of a daughter, Dolly Waters. Why? Why is this happening to me? Just when things seem to be working out, they take a dump. And the dumps? Well they just get stinkier and stinkier.

Last time I checked in with you folks, Muddy Waters had been on a losing streak- coming up short at the pay per view and then getting dismantled by the Universal Champion in the main event of Saturday Savage. Just the type of natural fucking position of being a beaten ass loser that I wanted Muddy Waters to be in... but over the last week or so, Muddy started doing well.

"Damnit Muddy! Don't you remember the goal is to get your daughter back?! Huh?!"

"But wouldn't she be more apt to want to be around me if I'm successful and makin' money and things of that nature?"

"NO! You fucking moron! Not everything is about you! We want the REST of the WORLD to have Dolly back because the world deserves her- YOU!? YOU FUCKING ABANDONED-"

I stop myself. I was showing too much of my hand, and for all of my yelling Muddy still just sat there rather calm and steadily fucking with his phone.

"Well it was Jane's idea to do the movie anyway..."

Jane fucking . The ex HR bitch I hired as Muddy's new manager. She's the one responsible for this being successful. Building his confidence, making sure he goes to the gym regularly, getting him to cut back on the alcohol... oh and prancing around with her tits hanging out in front of his face for added motivation. I guess I underestimated her; sure she was savvy, but Jane had like literally ZERO fucking experiencing managing a wrestler against this caliber of competition.

And yet only a week after hiring her she talks Muddy into sneaking in a pinfall on Vincent Lane, winning him the second most prestigious championship in the XWF, and then guides him to win in a fatal four way against Erik Black and some other douches. Erick Black was so fucking dumbfounded and enraged by the loss that I heard he quit the fucking XWF! Can't say I blame him- even if he was a cry baby bitch. Losing to Muddy Waters should very well be the end of any fighter's career who is trying to be taken seriously...

That's why in a way I'm not too concerned yet.

The next few weeks are going to be brutal on our boy. On Saturday he goes to defend his newly won XTreme Championship against a full-on legend, former Universal Champion James Raven which by all means should be the end of what will go down as an accidental title run.The following Wednesday he's going to be in New Guinea fighting with one of the best wrestlers of the last year or so in Robert Main for the Hart Championship- that should be another loss.Two days later he'll be competing in the All American Shove-It against an absolutely stacked card.

By the time April rolls around, Muddy Waters will have completely flopped while the world points and laughs.

"Brian?"

"Yeah? What?"

"You alright? Been standin' there with yer' mouth wider than the Cumberland Gap."

"Yeah, I'm fine... wait- what are you doing?"

Muddy pulls out from his jeans a little baggie containing some white pills, lays the baggie on his grimy coffee table and starts crushing the pills up inside of the bad with the end of his lighter.

"Perc thirties..."

Oh, this is good! Self destruction... just what the Brian ordered.

"I'm just on edge, Brian. All this damn trainin', and filimin' at movie back home openin' up a buncha' tough memories... and Jane."

"Oh! Tell me about Jane, Muddy."

I say while eagerly sitting down next to him,

"You know, I was thinking you really don't need a mana-"

"She still aint let Muddy sniff her cooter! AND I WANNA DO IT REALLY BAD! If she knows I'm tootin' breakfast she ain't guna' let me for certain."

"Oh... well hey, big guy. Don't you worry, I PROMISE not to tell Jane anything about this."

I say while patting Muddy on his back,

"Thanks, Brian... ya' know, fer' the snivelin little whore you are, you ain't so bad. Here do a line with ol' Muddy."

Fuck it, why not? If I could provide some comfort to Muddy while he continues to rot away his brain and his chances of doing anything even remotely close to improving his chances at winning- then sign me up.

Jane was coming over soon to work on a promo for Muddy's Warfare match- it should be one beautiful disaster.

-promo-

"Robert Main?

He can suck my main vain dammit!

Muddy ain't a feared of at ol' sumbitch.

What Robert Main'll tell ya' is he's the omega, in fact he'll probably tell us all about a hundred fuckin times that he's the omega. What type'a stupid shit is that anyway? Ol' boy is just GOTDAMN obsessed with the handle he gave himself. I guess it's supposed ta' intimidate his opponents. At's scarier than gopher shit I'll tell ya'.

Ya' know...

Cause he's the end and all.

The end of...uhhhh.

Ummm....

Well he's just the end.

The end of a long line of mediocre jerkoffs who strive fer' nothin' but ta' float around the middle of the pack where they stack their records with wins against lousy competition. Let's fuckin' face it- when was the last time the end all be all, mister Bobert Main took a crack at one of the XWF juggernauts?

Nothin' ringin a bell huh? It ain't suprisin'...

Robert Main has no motivation- no desire to reach fer' the fuckin brass because he's scared of that there level of commitment to keeping up his act of being a tough guy.

He'd rather keep gettin' booked against the Mezians, erikblacks and yes, even the Muddy Waters' of the XWF where he has a chance to look dominate rather than to pull up his big girl panties and take that next step- and move on past his days of having to be surrounded by a stable of douche bags to draw his energy from.

See yer' just a gotdamn fraud, boy. You ain't nothin' hardened. Wen't from a Jheri curl wearin' pretty boy to tryin' to look like his mentally deranged daddy but now, especially since his daddy Jimbo Batshit has vanished, Slobbin' Knobs Bob is justa' lost cause. Gotta' Hart on his waist, but not a real one in his chest...

Well guess what, Bobby boy? Wednesday Warfare is gunna' be yer' wake up call. And while you'll spew yer' stupid shit about Muddy not inspiring you enough to care about our match, or that I'm too worthless to care about, just go take a peak at the fuckin title contender rankings fer' a sec. Then explain to me how a worthless, dumb drunk, redneck, or inbred, or hillbilly, or whatever you'll call me like Muddy Waters could be ranked higher than the ewwwwwww the fuckin OMEGA in the Universal Title contendership?

How's it possible? Because I'm sure yer' gunna' begin to ramble on about how yer' dominate and how you'll beat my ass, right Robert? Yer' the fuckin bees knees, the last man standing in AX3, or no, that was yer' first gay stable with daddy Jim that dissolved... ummm APEX! Yer' the last man standin' in APEX, yer the OMEGA! And yet Muddy is still yer tobacco chewin', beer guzzlin, big women lovin', country bumpkin Alpha aint he? Well fer' now I am at least in one sense, and on Warfare we're gunna' find out fer' certain if Muddy is in the other sense.

I'll warn ya' know though boy... no pinfall? No submission? Just a flat out fight? A brawl? Well at's just how Muddy likes it- good an dirty like yer' momma's beaver. You better hope whatever dumb sumbitch you bring to hold yer' towel has thick skin, cause they aint seen nothin' like the limits I'mma' take you too, Bobert. I'd hate fer' em to prematurely pull yer' plug simply cause I dropped you on yer' neck or rip yer' shoulder out of it's socket.

So mister Omega, you better be ready come Warfare. Because Muddy Waters don't just want yer' belt boy, nahhh, Muddy Waters want's ta' make the omega squeal like a little bitch, then take yer' belt and give it back to the people on the roster who are actually TRYING to improve and trying to move up the ranks.

Fuckin' fraud ass faggit motherfucker."


"Okay, that's a wrap, Muddy!"

We hear Jane, who's standing next to me holler out to Muddy who looks like he's about to pass out from the drugs we snorted.

"You did decent for the time being, but your delivery is kind of slurred. So let's work on that for our next promo, mkay?"

"You know, Jane..."

I lean over and say,

"I was listening to Muddy's promo there and started thinking that maybe it should be me in the corner holding his towel during the match. I mean, it's really important he wins, right?"

"Of course it's important, Brian."

"Well, you being his manager and all- don't you worry that you'll maybe get too... mmm what's the wording I'm looking for? Emotionally attached to the situation? I mean he is your paycheck and all right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well wouldn't you feel awful if you got trigger happy because you saw our boy taking a bit too much damage and cost him the match?"

"I guess I hadn't thought of that..."

"Let me do the honors, Jane. I promise, unless Muddy is just absolutely about to die out there, I will not throw in the towel."

"Well... okay then, deal. I really didn't want to accompany Muddy to ring side anyhow, I'd hate for people to get the wrong idea about us-."

"JANE! CAN I SNIFF YER' COOTER NOW?!"

And just like that- Muddy losing against Robert Main was going to be a certainty.

-to be continued-
[Image: Backstage%2BTalk.gif]

(3X) Federweight Champion
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