Velocity VII
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone
(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Thu Mar 08 2018
Posts: 10
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Likes Given: 3
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Hates Given: 2
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
Hates Given: 2
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
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03-16-2018, 09:46 PM
![[Image: Barry_Allen_Grant_Gustin_14.jpg]](https://image.ibb.co/eGkHhn/Barry_Allen_Grant_Gustin_14.jpg)
”You know, everyday the sun rises, and everyday the sun sets. But, since the Particle Accelerator explosion, since I gained my powers, I've realized that evil doesn't submit to the circadian rhythm as we do. Every hour of every day someone somewhere is trying to unfold an evil plan. A way to cause mischief and chaos, to hurt those around them for no reason at all. Earth 2 seems to be no different.”
Barry pauses for a moment.
“Dr. Wells I can't do this. I'm not a mean person, can't we just call him, he already offered to help.”
![[Image: harrison_wells_825x580.jpg]](https://image.ibb.co/bGfiNn/harrison_wells_825x580.jpg)
“As you wish Mr. Allen.”
With that sentiment, Dr. Wells picks up his cell phone and dials a number.
Suddenly..
POOF
OH MY GOD..
IT'S..
![[Image: deluxe_adult_flash_costume_20180316233715233.jpg]](https://image.ibb.co/exuHAH/deluxe_adult_flash_costume_20180316233715233.jpg)
Howdy motherfuckers.
“Dr. Wells..
Who is this man?”
Shit, son. I'm the motherfucker bout to win you this match.
“Mr. Allen I have no idea who he is or what he is talking about in reference to a match..”
Oh by the way, Barry. Fuck that dude. He's trying to go all Savitar on your ass.
Suddenly Cadryn POOF’S behind Dr. Wells and with unmatched speed and precision shoves a huge black dildo through the ear of Dr. Wells, coming out the other ear, instantaneously killing him.
”DR. WELLS NOOOOOOO”
Cadryn laughs.
Oh, cheer up, buttercup. Names Cadryn Tiberius. But you can call me The Poof. I’m pretty much the greatest superhero ever to exist on any earth.
”You’re no superhero! You killed an innocent man!”
”Look, slim. I done fucking told you that he was about to go all Savitar and shit. Hell you walked out the other day and that dickless twat was down in the time vault stroking his little dick looking at that big ass speedster suit thinkin’ about busting your ass.”
The Poof pulls up video footage to prove to Barry what he was saying is in fact, correct.
”Oh..
You goddamn right “Oh.” You should be giving me a reach around for all this extra work im putting in.
”Ew.”
”Ew? Well that’s fuckin’ rude. Anyways, dude, you needed some fuckin’ help. You’re too soft and shit, so consider The Poof your new manager. I was sitting at home re-watching the first few seasons of The Flash, when I saw your shitty fucking promo come across on the XWF website. I’m a little pissed at you, Bar-Bar. I’m on like my third fucking hiatus here. Wraith threatened to cut off my taint or something and I left. Cause well, fuck that. But yeah dude, I couldn’t let a fellow speedster go down like a little bitch. And let’s face it, that’s what was happening.”
”I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Cadryn smacks Barry so hard one eyebrow falls off..
”LOOK ASSHOLE, YOU’RE IN A FUCKING WRESTLING MATCH AGAINST 3 IDIOTS FROM THE XWF. YOU SIGNED THE XWF CONTRACT OBVIOUSLY OR YOU WOULDN’T BE IN A MATCH. LANE IS A CROSSFACED LITTLE CUNT, BUT HE DOESN’T BOOK CIVILIANS. NOW QUIT ACTING LIKE CISCO AND MAN THE FUCK UP.”
”My eyebrow..”
Cadryn sighs.
”Just watch and learn rookie, I’m gonna show you how we defeat motherfuckers where I’m from.”
“First of all we have some new  by the name of Jeremy Dickskin.”
”Don’t you mean Jeremiah Dixon?”
”You wanna keep that other eyebrow, ho? Shut the fuck up. I know his goddamn name, this is just what I do.”
“Anyways, Jared Foreskin, you take the cake for fucking basic. Christ man. You could neutralize acidic substances your so basic. The first thing out of your cockholster is some bullshit about Velocity’s name. First of all, get the fuck off my shtick bitch. Secondly, at least my shit was funny. You just changed the roman numeral behind his name and stepped off.
Stand back y'all, we got a badass over here.
He thinks he’s some kind of superhero? This motherfucker is a superhero, bro. He be running faster than Forrest just laying waste to enemies. Ain’t you ever watch The Flash? Get with it, skin flute. Wake-up call? Nigga, please. He stay woke. He gonna fuck on the entire XWF and be the second best superhero in this bitch.
Swing by Mcdonalds and get a supersized meal? What the fuck..
You realize they ain’t super sized in like a fucking decade, right? There you go, running off at the mouth again. Any time a dick come out, you get froggy and think it’s ok to talk. Well, here, lemme replenish that mouth with some king sized cock. Wanna talk about supersized, let Barry show you his dick. Lookin like a Kayak in them trousers, gat’dam..
I gotta sit down for this next part, it’s so goddamn dumb..”
Cadryn walks over to Dr. Wells wheelchair and sits down.
OHHH LOOKIE AT ME I'M DR. WELLS IM A FUCKIN LYING ASS CRIPPLE THAT CAN ACTUALLY WALK WHEN YOU AIN'T LOOKIN HERPY DERRRRR.
Sorry, that was rude.
Naw, that was funny, you know you laughed.
Anyways..
He said this isn’t a comic book or a movie, this is the XWF.
Oh, yeah? Like for real, bro? You don’t fuckin’ say? At what point did Velocity say it was a fuckin’ comic book? Are you NASA, are you Jesus? Do you know 100% sure that time travel and traveling to other worlds isn’t possible? Nope, you don’t. Therefore, when Barry says he traveled, he fuckin’ traveled and you can’t prove him wrong. Get fucked, boyyyyy.
Oh and that little quip you made about him running fast but not being able to run in a 25x25 ring or whatever, is shite. Just because a motherfucker CAN run, doesn’t mean he will. Who said he was gonna run from a fight with your ugly ass? He sure didn’t, so get out of here with that bullshit Mr. Assumption. That’s your villain name, cause all you do is make an ass out of yourself, .
Rekt.”
”You don’t have to be so mean..”
That’s it, gimme dat eyebrow.”
Cadryn reaches over and quickly snatches off the other eyebrow.
”OH. MY. GOD.”
”I fuckin’ warned you dude. Now you look like Sinead O'Connor's pusspuss after a fresh brazilian.
Next we have Derek White.
What do you mean what the hell is Velocity VII, Erik?! Haven’t you ever seen The Flash, dude? It’s the fuckin’ shit that give Jay Garrick his powers back. Spoiler. Sorry. Oh, but wait, you made sure to also mention comic books to us too, huh? You guys are super cool with your comic references.
NEWS FLASH, ASSBLASTERS, NO ONE EVER FUCKING SAID THIS WAS A COMIC BOOK. THIS IS REAL LIFE, AND IT’S RIGHT. FUCKING. HERE. BARRY IS GONNA CUM ON YOUR FACES WHILE I LICK YOUR TAINTS. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWR.
Sorry, yalls ignorance made me precum a lil’ bit.
Oh and then you went on to talk about choking and ending lives and shit. Blah, blah, blah, generic tough guy bullshit, etc.
You’re fucking basic too, fagboy. At least Velocity is actually creative and shit. You on the other hand keep recycling 1999’s version of “badass” until it’s even more played out than the last guy managed to make it. Fuck, are you and Robert Main, Peter Gilmour, and Jared Foreskin all related?
I’d be super fucking surprised if you weren’t.
Y’all sound exactly the same.
Oh and what do you know, yall. This dude puts out another promo and SAYS THE SAME SHIT AGAIN, AHAHAHAHA.
STOP BEFORE I CUM, FOR REAL. I CAN’T GET ANY HARDER..
All you motherfuckers keep talking comics and shit like we don’t think this is real life. Oh and then you recycle Jeremiah’s insult about being a runner and running from a fight. Show me proof where Barry has ran from a fight in the XWF.
Don’t worry I’ll wait.
Ah, but wait, you have no proof. Get the fuck on with ya bullshit, ya lil cuck.
Plus, if you’d have done your research, you’d have known that Me and Doc have had powers for fucking ever. But naw, you’d rather just brush motherfuckers off and call them comic book like when in reality, we’ve had fucking powers, bitch.
Oh and since I LOVE TO QUOTE FAGGOTRY…
“Velocity Seven. Don’t you go thinking I’ve forgotten about you. I haven’t. I’m sure we haven’t seen you because you’re running around in a blaze of light speed dickery that only fellow comic book nerd have come to love and understand. Me? I’m just wondering if you’ll find your way to the arena for your awakening. I say awakening because that’s what it will be. You’ll be “woke” to all the glory that a loss to me comes with. And by that I mean that there is no glory. There’s only pain and embarrassment. The embarrassment comes from me making a fool of you in the ring. Why? Because I can. Because I’m most skilled in a fight than you. That’s just how things are. I’ve spent my life…fighting. I’ve spent my life perfecting the art of decimating others for my enjoyment. And at Savage, seven, that includes you. You can run away from it. I mean that. You can. That’s what you do. I won’t chase you. No. I’ll just put on a fighting clinic until you decide not to be a bitch and actually fight. Then? You’ll feel the pain of an Erik Black defeat.”
AHAHAHAHAHA. ALL YOU FUCKIN’ GUYS DO IS REPEAT YOURSELVES AND TRY AND REWORD IT TO MAKE IT SOUND FRESH.
GUESS WHAT, IT ISN’T FRESH. BARRY DIDN’T FALL FOR IT, I DIDN’T FALL FOR IT, AND I HIGHLY DOUBT ANYONE FELL FOR IT YA FUCKIN’ SCRUB.
AHAHAHAHAHA.
I came..
Sorry, but I couldn’t contain it anymore.
Too much ignorance in a small package that made my huge package unpack it’s package, ya feel me?
Oh and I don’t know which one of you dick beaters said it, but you shit on Muddy for the Closed Captioning on one of his promos like he has control over the networks shitty hiring practices of guys who don’t know proper grammar.
Rookie mistake, rookies.
As for Muddy…
He’s a decent dude. I mean, decent enough to make sure his sister gets that dick on the reg. Grandma over there eatin’ grapes outta his ass while Daddy is off beating Momma by the woodshed.
WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN GRAVES WAS TRYING TO MOLEST YOUR DAUGHTER YOU INBRED CUNT? DOLLY WAS A STAND UP GIRL WHO FOUGHT HARD BESIDE ME LAST YEAR AND YOU ALMOST LET HER GET DICKED DOWN BY GRAVY THE KIDDY DIDDLIN CLOWN. YOU A POOR FATHER, SIR, AND I DON’T APPRECIATE IT.
Otherwise..
Were you even aware you were fighting Velocity? I didn’t really see you say too fuckin’ much about him you backwoods buttfuckin cuck.
Anyways, fags, the moral of the story is that, Velocity and Cadryn go together like Peanut Butter and Asshole.
This here is a lesson in humility for you fuckin’ newbs that wanna walk up in the XWF and act like you own the place.
Back of the bus, Rosa.
You ain’t earned the right yet.
What right you ask?
The rights of victory.
Enjoy another loss, .
KBAI.
COME, BARRY, DADDY NEEDS A DICK MASSAGE FROM ALL THE FUCKIN’ OF THE BUTTS HE JUST DID.
The Poof grabs Velocity and the two men POOF away together.
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