Plainfield, New Jersey
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
9:45 am Eastern Standard Time

We find ourselves in the Sleepy Hollow section of Plainfield in front a large home. Large bushes stand guard in front of the wrap-around porch allowing enough of a view point to see Pestalance sitting on a metal chair to the right of the large front double doors. As he sits, looking around his neighborhood we can see his breath colliding with the crisp morning air. He reaches up and adjusts his skull cap before placing his hands in his jacket pockets. As the camera moves closer to him, he begins to speak.

When I was a kid I used to walk past this house every morning and afternoon on my way to and from school. And every day I wondered what it would be like to live here. I wondered what it would be like to come here after a long day of learning “The 3 R’s.” What it would have been like to come here after a long day of practice and walk up this big driveway. What it would have been like to play in the front yard and have birthday parties and barbeques in the back. Sleep overs and scary stories in the attic. To have all my friends over kicking it on this porch.

Pest shifts around in his chair taking a deep breath allowing a long stream of steam to escape from his lips.

Of course back then those where all pipe dreams. There was no way my poor ass was ever gonna live in this house. Hell, we were always worried about getting kicked out of our little ass apartment cause the rent was due and mom didn’t have the money. But it was nice to think about it. Nice to escape the life of a poor nigga from the hood.

Pest chuckles to himself as he continues.

Honestly, back then if you would have told me that years later not only would I own this house but I’d have enough money to never really have to work again I would have laughed in your face and told you to fuck off. People like me don’t get to be rich…we don’t get to live lavish lives. People like me get stuck in the system, work bullshit minimal wage jobs and complain about how “The Man” is hold me down.

But it happened…the kid that used to daydream about what it would be like to live here…lives here.

Pest chuckles again.

Pretty fucking dope.

It’s ironic that now that I’m at this stage in my life I cross paths with what could have been in the form of an 18 year old punk named Knucks.

The illusion of having no direction…no path in life. The vision of that person the “The Man” is holding down staring me right in the face.

Funny how life works, isn’t it.

I mean that easily could have been me. My path to XWF could have been filled with the turmoil that is every day that Knucks breaths. Drugs, thots, and running from the cops.

I can’t front though…I don’t have an issue with the drugs and thots part, it’s the cops that I aint cool with.

But I digress, there’s a small part of me that hopes this kid can truly get his shit together…there’s a larger part that doesn’t care if he gets hit by a truck. But I’m not a total asshole; I can understand his situation and I can empathize with his plight.

Unfortunately his road to success cannot and will not go through me.

See I came to a realization this morning. In the mist of all of the toothless blowjobs, tranny fucking, split personality crazy chick, un-ambiguously gay handicapped, Sarah Huckabee Sanders vagina exploding craziness in this (as my boy Beasley put it) gotdamn circus, I’ve lost sight of what’s really important here.

I’m competing for an opportunity at the Television Championship. All this other shit is unimportant in comparison.

It really doesn’t matter if Knucks calls me a multi-time failure as he, the Grim Reaper and that old bitch have a three way. Don’t worry knucks, it’s not gay if it’s in a three way.

The fact that Tommy Wish got his ass cherry popped, Zay want to lick it and Demi wants to kick it (Cause she’s an…ass man?) is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

The pleasant look on Pest’s face disappears as he stares a hole into the camera

I want that title!

And I’m not going to let any of you wack-jobs stand in the way of me getting that title. I didn’t come here to fuck around. I didn’t come here to play games. I came here to be the best…because I am the best. Plain and simple.

Knucks, you and I are about to have one hell of a fight. We are gonna step into that ring and lay it all on the line. I’m gonna hurt you, and your probably gonna hurt me back. But when it’s all said and done I’m gonna be the one with my hand raised. And I’ll do it faster than anyone in the beat the clock challenge. That’s just the way it has to be, Knucks!

Holla at cha later bitch!

A notification goes off on Pest’s phone. He pulls the phone and looks down at it.

The handicapped dude just dropped a promo. Well….let’s see what this shit’s about.

Pest starts the promo as he stands and makes his way through the front door and into the house. The door closes behind him and a few seconds later we hear…

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!