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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF OOC » Out Of Character (OOC) Board
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feed back on Anthony Knucks Scalici first rp
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Anthony "Knucks" Scalici Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
03-04-2018, 07:46 AM

Look i am trying out a new character here in the XWF and i am new to this place feel free to shit on me or give positive feedback.


http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=30793

[Image: aks.jpg]
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Muddy Waters Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
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#2
03-04-2018, 08:05 AM

A lot to cringe at here grammatically, but grammar is something I’ve always struggled with too. What Ive found here in the xwf is that strong story, character development and entertaining trash talk will supersede bad writing habits.

Seems like the readers got to learn just enough about Knucks without learning too much early on- and so that my friend is a good start. Just keep working at it- I’m intrigued enough to read more.

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Vincent Lane Offline
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
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#3
03-04-2018, 08:30 AM

(03-04-2018, 07:46 AM)Anthony "Knucks" Scalici Said: Look i am trying out a new character here in the XWF and i am new to this place feel free to shit on me or give positive feedback.

You should supply a link to the RP here, it makes it easier for people to check you out and give some feedback.

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Vincent Lane Offline
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
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#4
03-04-2018, 08:36 AM

There, I added it for you. I'm nice.

Anyway, I'd echo Muddy's sentiments above. The grammar is pretty bad, and it makes it hard to read. Also having dialogue buried in there without really denoting who is speaking (unless it's Knucks) can be kind of arduous.

Overall, it's a good first effort. It's better than most "first efforts" that we see, so I think you'll do fine. Once you fiddle with your presentation and come up with a more fleshed out story, I think the character has legs.

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Prof. Bobby Bourbon Online
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XWF FanBase:
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#5
03-04-2018, 08:44 AM

Just keep writing dude. The kinks work themselves out over time as long as you are enjoying yourself.

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Anthony "Knucks" Scalici Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#6
03-05-2018, 02:31 PM

Thanks for the feedback and yes my grammar is bad. I am sorry for that I do try to fix it.

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Vincent Lane Offline
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#7
03-05-2018, 02:54 PM

(03-05-2018, 02:31 PM)Anthony "Knucks" Scalici Said: Thanks for the feedback and yes my grammar is bad. I am sorry for that I do try to fix it.

It's cool man I've seen a lot worse. I just think that's the quickest and easiest way to improve right off the bat.

But like Rob says - just write. Tell your story. It will evolve, I promise.

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Finn Kühn Offline
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#8
03-05-2018, 03:09 PM

The just write advice is probably the best in this situation. I was REALLY bad when I first came in with Maverick, but slowly I improved to have some decent skills, just to use an example. You have a solid base going on with your work, but if you refine your grammar and stick it out a bit, you'll be seeing a definite improvement.

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Drew Archyle Offline
Apex's Weakest Link duh



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#9
03-05-2018, 03:13 PM

(03-05-2018, 03:09 PM)Finn Kühn Said: The just write advice is probably the best in this situation. I was REALLY bad when I first came in with Maverick, but slowly I improved to have some decent skills, just to use an example. You have a solid base going on with your work, but if you refine your grammar and stick it out a bit, you'll be seeing a definite improvement.

It's amazing how much one can improve when they actually RP for their matches. Just saying.


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w/ Robert "The Omega" Main and and James Raven "Apex" Longest reigning tag team champions in XWF history at 241 days.
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Finn Kühn Offline
Be the best, or be broken.



XWF FanBase:
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#10
03-05-2018, 03:17 PM

Shit

You rite

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#11
03-05-2018, 09:48 PM

Get a good story going and progress through it! A story never really has to end. Just the chapters do! The grammar will fall into place over time! Just keep it up!






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Longest Reigning Tag Team Champions in modern history. W- Drew Archyle & James Raven
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#12
03-05-2018, 11:06 PM

I've always said that I'm not a writer. As a matter of fact I struggled with English more than any subject in school. Yet I've gotten pretty decent at it. The best advice is what you've already been told. Just keep at it, read as much as you can both here or even books. You'll improve your writing and grammar with practice.

The most important thing is advice that was once given to me. Just make sure that YOU enjoy what your writing. If you do, it'll show, and others will enjoy it as well.

As far as the RP in question goes. It's a good start. I've seen (and written) far far worse lol.
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