Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 04:46 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
Bro
Author Message
Drew Archyle Offline
Apex's Weakest Link duh



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#1
02-16-2018, 06:58 PM

Random...what in the flying fucksnacks was that? How? How can an alien, presumably a being with higher intelligence than us Earthlings make such a boner that it would make Chris Chaos blush? Apex is not Ax3. I know it gets kind of confusing because both groups started with the letter A and they both have a letter X in them. Apex even has 3 people in it two of which were also in Ax3 so I can see sorta where one might get all turned inside out over it. But Apex is so much more than Ax3 had ever hoped to be. Not having Chris Chaos in the group certainly helps. So too does not having a guy more concerned with chasing kiddy poon than winning matches. That's a big help, or so I'm told. Ax3 has been dead and buried for months now. Killed off by The Queens or whatever those four relics called themselves. I could say so much more but frankly I'm sad and embarrassed that I even had to say this much but no one should have to go through life unaware of the truth.


Oh and PS: Jim may in fact be a gay lumberjack but try and keep that on the down-low. I don't think he's ready to be all loud and proud just yet ok?



So anyway Drew has returned to California so he can Main Event yet another edition of Saturday Night Savage, his third show and third Main Event in a row. Not bad for a guy who just a few months ago was in jail and was forced to do favors for the mafia in return for the protection their ranks offered. This week's Saturday Night Savage is the XWF's last event of February before March's Pay Per View - Turning Point an event that will see Robert Main defending his Hart Title against Erik Black, someone Drew "defeated" just last week, as well tag team champions The Engineer and APEX leader Jim Caedus will square off for the coveted XWF Universal Title. And then there is Drew Archyle. Should he survive his match against Random he will go on to defend his Television Title against not one, not two but three other men, two of which are former Universal Champions, Chris Chaos and Scully as well as the man that Drew defeated to earn the title he now possesses, John Holliday. Apex will for the second Pay Per View in a row have the opportunity to stake their claim as one of the greatest factions in XWF history. But before all that there is Saturday Night Savage and before APEX is going on a road trip to Cloverdale, California, home of Bear Republic Brewery.


Are we there yet?

How many times are you going to ask me that? Jim asks as he drives their vehicle down the highway along the California coast.

Are.We.There.Yet? Drew asks again. This time with a brief pause in between each word for effect.

Drew you just asked like 5 minutes ago and what did Jim say then? Robert asks from the front passenger seat.

Something very rude that I won't repeat here because I am too much of a gentlemen. But it rhymed with Duck you Brew!

You deserved it! Jim shouts as he turns his head back towards Drew who at this point is splayed out across the back seat of the vehicle.

Eyes on the road Jim! Also, are we there yet?

Drew I swear to God bro I am going to come back there and strangle you.

That's fine Jim. You can do that as soon as we get there. Is that some extra motivation for you to get us there faster? Also I gotta take a dump.

You just went before we left!

What are you my mother? Who keeps track of another man's bowel movements?

First of all I don't keep track of your bowel movements, I just remember the last one because you damn near threw a fit before we left. Second of all, that wasn't even that long ago, how do you have to go again?

I told you man, refriend beans don't agree with me. Drew says as he grabs at his stomach.

Then why did you eat them?

You two practically made me eat them. Jim practically jammed them down my throat because he wanted to get on the road.

What? That's not what happened at all! We told you not to eat them but you said you'd be fine.

That's because I thought we'd be there by now. I had no idea Jim drives like an old lady. Jim you're gonna have to pull over man.

Pull over? We're in the middle of the interstate.

Well let me ask you something Jim. Would you rather pull over and let me drop trou on the side of the highway or would you rather I shit myself in this rental car that you paid for? And let me be clear here, I would be taking my pants down and shitting all over the nice clean cloth seat. Pretty sure they charge you extra for that sort of thing.

Hold on!


Jim turns the steering wheel hard to the right. The car suddenly jerks in that direction cutting across two lanes of traffic and coming to an abrupt stop on the side of the road, collecting a few horns and angry curse words screamed from the drivers of passing vehicles.

Drew kicks open the door, jumps out of the vehicle, lowers his pants and braces for release.


Ewwww don't look perv! Drew yells as he slaps the camera away.


A few awkward moments passed filled with squirting, grunting, awful smells and finally relief. Drew pulls his pants up and then back into the car.


Jim please tell your camera man that it is extremely inappropriate for him to film me dropping a deuce. I kinda feel violated.

Floyd...Drew would like me to tell you that it is extremely inappropriate for you to film him while he is taking a shit.

But I...I swear I...

Now now Floyd. No one likes a fibber. Taking your verbal lashing like a man and move on. Jim question for you.

Let me guess, are we there yet?

No Jim. And you're not funny. I was going to ask if you happened to have one of those air fresheners that dangle from the rear view mirror cause it's about to get ripe in here.

Ahhhh dammit bro. Everyone put their windows down.

Hey guys did you hear that Random's friend Gary Busey died?

Gary Busey died?

Is there an echo in here? Didn't I just say that he did? Do you think we should send Random flowers?

Why would we do that?

Because we aren't heartless bastards Robert. Would you want someone to send you flowers if one of your close friends died?

Not really!

Well it's not about you Rob. If someone wants to send you flowers they should be able to send you flowers. I think I'm going to send Random some flowers. Let him know that he is in our thoughts and prayers.

Thoughts and prayers? Did you find God when you were in prison?

No. But I thought thoughts and prayers are what you send someone when you want to pretend like you care but really you don't give a shit at all.

That's more like it.

So Jim are we there yet?

Mother Fucker!


Fade to poop




[Image: mIFJDRA.png]

Former:

[Image: fMJwa5h.png]
w/ Robert "The Omega" Main and and James Raven "Apex" Longest reigning tag team champions in XWF history at 241 days.
[Image: nLYNvyj.png]
[Image: sxRvsd0.png]
[Image: OZdvB4F.png]


February 2018 Superstar Of The Month
March 2019 RPOTM For Captain Americhyle - The First Apexvenger
Winning Team War Games 2017 w/Apex
XWF Federweight Champion
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 3 users Like Drew Archyle's post:
(02-16-2018), (02-18-2018), JimCaedus (02-17-2018)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)