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The Garb Man
02-10-2018, 04:34 AM
Post: #1


The Insane Clown Posse (if they went bright colors) wannabe known as Phantom Panzer, or Pee Pee, swam around in his dimension. He was actually pretending as if he was in an Olympic sized pool, and every time he began began the freestyle stroke and each couple of movement of his arms, he moved his head up, as if going above the 'water' that's there and took a breath. This went on for a while, until he got tired of it and began his descent to the "ground" of the Dimension. He then made a large orb appear out of thin air, and he began to gaze into the ball. He would view each galaxy, each planet, each universe, his job never ending. With Cosmic Powers come huge fucking Cosmic responsibilities. He had become Flash Gordon, the savior of all of us, except all didn't mean a few planets in a galaxy. It meant ALL of the things living in each dimension and universe. He began to view each planet at would be called Mach 6 if he were actually moving. He was practically "scrolling" through everything but soon he stopped, and squinted at a singular planet. He put his free hand to the orb and soon the hand disappeared into the orb, before soon he yanked his hand free and a portal seemingly gets slapped up, much like a poster on a teen's wall of his favorite sports player, into the pocket dimension, and the portal showed a planet full of garbage. Just an astronomical amount. There was no water, and the land was full of trash mountains.

However, there was one solitary being. A balding and fat male standing about 6 foot. He had a gas mask on so he could breathe. He had several tools upon his back: a sledgehammer, a vacuum cleaner with the tube wrapped around him like a backpack, and a large snow shovel. The sledgehammer used to break up blocks of the stuff that had been caked together by time, which he could then use the shovel to scoop up and toss towards a large bag that was held open by solid steel rods. His clothing was basically three quarters hazmat suit, missing the arms and head of the suit.

Panzer wondered why in the hell there was just this one guy and a fuckton of garbage. So, he stepped through the portal, appearing before the man out of thin air.


"Wow, man, this place smells like Death took a shit on a sun baked rotting corpse."

The guy looked at Panzer, who then looked at certain things in the giant pile they were on. On the pile were bottles of some brand of soda that could be this dimension's equal of Pepsi or Coca-Cola. Nearby were magazines, rotting food, tattered clothes. Then he saw a gigantic pillow, a square sized body pillow that was thick enough that someone could sit on it and be comfortable. So, PP moved to sit onto the giant pillow and looked at the man. All the shoveling, hammering, walking, and lifting heavy objects, had made this guy a brick shit house of a man. Panzer studied the man and wondered a few things, as the man stood there, looking at the Clown.

"So, let's start by formally introducing ourselves. My name is Phantom Panzer. I am a literal God. I know, but I actually exist."

The man stared through the mask, but still did not speak, so Panzer continued to talk.

"A man of few words. I see. I can dig it. So, I am wondering what the hell is going on. Why is this planet completely full of garbage? I also wanna know how the fuck do you eat anything? Is there actually a good source of food for you somewhere?

The large man used the handle of his shovel and pointed to the sky. As he did, a mix of actual garbage and some "fresh" food manifested and fell down to the ground. Most of it being food thrown away because of their sell-by dates. Panzer leaped from the cushion to avoid being showered by the garbage, then looked to the man.

"How the fuck can you live like this?"

"Because I was forced to." He said in a deep, gruff voice.

"Okay, but who the fuck sent you here? And why?"

The man growled and grumbled, sounding as if a bear had been just been poked during its slumber and just wanted to sleep a bit longer.

"Some asshole that decided I wasn't good enough to live, but couldn't bring himself to take my life from me. A dick that decided that he'd rather take everything and not give anything back. A prick that was jealous of my strength yet took my best quality for himself."

"Ah. I know the feeling. Almost a year back I was in the very same position. I was part of somebody and imprisoned me deep down in his psyche, all because he had become "Broken". He took two parts of himself, and shoved us into a cage. We broke out of his mind and manifested into this form. Been fucking around since then. Not really caring enough."

He chuckled and yawned slightly

"So, what's your name?"

"Wouldn't you know? If you're an actual God, that is."

Panzer chuckled a bit

"Well, yeah, I should, but I'd rather not waste my time exploring the depths of your mind just to learn a name. So why don't you just offer it up?"

The man chuckled as soft as he could at first, then he began to let out a uproarious laughter which caused him to fall to one knee. Panzer moved closely to him, and squinted at him, only for the man to stand up fast as he ripped off the mask speaking as he revealed his face. It caused Panzer to look at him in shock, actually scared to see what was there. The camera began to blacken before his face could be seen as the man spoke,

"What's the matter, Phantom Panzer? You look as if you've seen a ghost."

[Image: k3CZXNk_zpsyhiudixe.jpg]
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