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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
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The Engineer Offline
Man of Peace



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#1
01-30-2018, 04:32 PM

Hey look kids, it's Engy! He's presently getting his archery on, kind of like last time but with significantly less mental trauma being inflicted on his son. No, this time he's at an indoor archery range, and from the looks of things seems to have the place all to himself. Perhaps thanks to some of those sweet, sweet Trump funds.

He draws back deep on his recurve bow, one eye pinched shut and the other boring down on the target. The arrow lets fly with a twang, and very shortly thereafter we here the resounding thud of it hitting it's target. He starts addressing the camera without even looking up.


I've always preferred the more archaic weapons, you know? Bdubs I know you love your guns and all, and that's fine. But there's just something about holding a weapon in your hand that's been evolving for thousands of years. Think about it, men were using weapons just like this up to ten thousand years ago. Bladed weaponry even before that. Speaking of which, what the hell did I do with Kingbreaker...?

We quick cut to the Dyson residence, where one of Madison's illegal alien housekeepers opens up a closet. Kingbreaker, which had been perched precariously on the top shelf, is dislodged and starts a deadly arc downwards towards the Hispanic woman's face.

Oh dios mio....

We cut back to the archery range. Engy's face is screwed up in thought.

Eh, I'm sure it's fine.

He lets another bolt go before finally giving the camera his full attention.

There's another thing I like about primitive weapons. You gotta put more work into your kill. It makes you feel more invested in the act. Like maybe you sacrificed a part of yourself to that deed. I dunno, I'm just rambling. Or maybe I'm not. Maybe your weapon of choice holds a mirror up to a sort of inner reflection of who you are and what you're all about. Me? I'm a workhorse. You can hate the shit outta me all you want, but even my biggest detractors have to admit I bust my ass. I shy away from no man, and I'm a fighting champion. I put my back right into each and every one of my kills. So to speak.

So what does that say about BWP and his firearms? Quick. Deadly. Modern. Buuuuut....


He smirks devilishly, setting the bow down.

.....it also means you're prone to getting jammed up. You need a lot of maintenance to work right. And yeah, let's face it....

He makes a pained face, almost like he's reluctant to go where he is about to go.

....you're also kinda lazy. THERE I SAID IT! But can you blame me? I handed you the picture perfect frenemy grudge match, brother. You were pissed at me over what happened at War Games. But you're still ambiguously....maybe?....my friend. You leapt at the chance to face me for the Xtreme title, and got a double bonus prize of our match also being a qualifier for the Universal championship. And what have you done with all that “to die for” build? Jack shit. Pulled the patented BWP “flake-a-roonie”. I kinda saw this coming after you got rolled by Chris Chaos a couple weeks back. But I still held out hope that maybe I could rile you up into the Piggy we all know and love.

Confession time. All that “hand me the reigns” shit from before? Half of it was motivated by my desire to light a fire under you and make this interesting. I thought that, for sure, there was no way you would let that go unanswered. And I have never been so sorry about being wrong. Because your level of silence and disengagement and lack of effort can only truly mean one thing.

You're gonna bail again.

You lost the fire.


Engy states this solemnly, shaking his head. He pulls his palm over his close cropped shaven head in exasperation.

It's a goddamn shame too. Because you're fixin' to make a liar outta me. When I said I was Motherfuckers for life godammit I meant it! I did! I lie my ass off about plenty of other things but you crazy bastards?! You were my home. You were the first group I ever really fit in with. It may surprise you to learn that not too many folks are beating down my door to supply me with a laminated membership card. But you and Robbie never even batted an eye.

But when I said I was Motherfuckers for life, that was kind of contingent on the Motherfuckers actually being a thing. And right now, that's not looking too good. I mean, you have clearly ceased to give a fuck, and Robbie? Robbie?! Just.....Jesus.

I mean, tell me what the hell I'm supposed to think here? WHAT DO I DO?! I can't keep this thing afloat by myself. Moreover, I refuse to. I got too much on my plate as it is to be the only designated guy to give a flying fuck about this team.

So you know what? All the detractors are proven right. Theo Pryce. Apex. They were all right. This team was never anything but a flash in the pan revolving door of flim flam fakery. Gotta stop hanging out with Caedus.


Engy chuckles.

This coulda been a golden age for the XWF too. I honestly believed that. Two powerhouse teams at the helm, each representing the best and brightest XWF had to offer. Locked in a perpetual state of “will they or won't they press the nuclear button” tension. We coulda all made so much bank. We coulda all made XWF history. We could have flushed the legacy of assholes like The King's down the shitter forever by being BETTER.

Engy shrugs nonchalantly.

I'll give you guys one more show. One more episode of Warfare to show me your worth it. But frankly, I'm not expecting much. Nor should you expect much from this promo Bdubs. Because quite frankly, if you can't be arsed than neither can I. I'll save the good shit for the Danny Imperials and Jim Caedus' of the world. See you boys later, by the by.

Show up. Show me something. I'm begging you.


Engy looks down the archery range at the target, which we now see is bearing the image of....Bret Michaels???

Yeah, I bet you thought it was gonna be you huh Bdubs? Nah. Turns out I really, really hate me some Bret Michaels.

Engy's phone starts to vibrate in his pocket. He removes it and answers it.

Whoa...whoa...whoa! Slow down, what happened to Esmerelda? Oh shit.....

Engy makes the universal signal for “I gotta take this call” as the shot fades to black.

[Image: 9QBn3eQ.jpg]





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Drew Archyle (01-30-2018), drezdin5788 (01-31-2018), JimCaedus (01-30-2018), Mezian (01-30-2018)




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