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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » WAR GAMES 2017 RP BOARD
Possum, Donkey, and a Cunt
Author Message
"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler Offline
Oceanic Cowboy



XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)


#1
12-21-2017, 10:49 PM

"What the fuck is up XWF Motherfuckin Universe?! Bearded War Pig here just performing last minute maintenance on the BOOM train because at War Games a lot of Motherfuckers purchased tickets for a ride. A one-way ride, straight to BOOM town! Motherfuckers like Apex, Jenny Mist, Doc D’Ville, James Raven, Michael Graves, Chris Chaos, and many others. Like always we the Motherfuckers have the odds stacked against us, but what fun would it be without a challenge? Bwarhahaha! So, what say we? We say all aboard Motherfuckers because upon arrival to BOOM town, ya’ll gonna be blessed with a complimentary Wargasm from yours truly! Maybe throw in a couple Devil Dog Drops here and there.

Wait there is more. Ya’ll also will be receiving free Robbie Bombs, and Fuck You, Eat Shit’s. Bam! War Games in a fuckin nut shell. No one is going to forget the fuckery the Motherfuckers spread at the twenty-seventeen XWF War Games. That’s for damn sure! No one in Boom town will be left out, we truly believe in equal rights, and will make sure everyone get’s a fare share of ass whoopin! I promise Apex won’t be the only ones having their wigs split. First, but not the only.

So, I guess I will start out by asking Drew Archyle if you happen to be listening bub. The Bearded Wonder of the World has some words for you. Disrespect me, talk about how I am the weakest link, call me a cock sucker… None of that matters. Don’t fucking bring men that sacrificed their lives for shit fucks like you to have the opportunity to bring a whole stadium to snores. My platoon mates would make you make them a sandwich before and after the pounding they’d give you. For the rude fucking comments about heroes to this grand nation, after War Games you’ll be hanging on to my pocket inside out. Give you a little taste of your past.

What do I have from serving my country, I have benefits that last for life. I have unbreakable bonds with brother’s that would kill for me. I have the people behind me. I have the mind set, tactical skills, and capability to end a man’s life. All things that are going to play part in ripping off your fucking head and shitting down your ungrateful throat. Without my prior service I wouldn’t be here now to instill the discipline you are in much need of. See Drew just because you are a dipshit and can’t figure some simple solutions for yourself I had to go and point them out blatantly.

Please for the love of god, I hope I won’t have to walk you through our match. That would be a real shit show bro. Plus I don’t have the patience to try and teach a talentless hack how the big dogs perform. See the fans have bought out tickets, sold out viewing venues all over the globe to watch, the Motherfucker’s rip new assholes for three fucktards. Decent fucktards. Still fucktards. If your in-ring talents aren’t better than your burns, Vinnie Lane might have some major refunding to conduct.

Not that the people don’t love watching Motherfuckers hand out ass whoopins all night long. They’d just like to get a little worried now and again that the loved ones might just get bested. Get the heart racing a little, then, wham, bam, and thank you mam! We lay our enemies down shoulders flat for the one, two, and three. That is the only future I’m seeing brah! You are sitting there trying to predict mine, when you fucks don’t even have faith in yourselves to guide your own destiny. Instead you look for the aid in a pissed and broken winged Raven. Now that is just sad. Newly formed stable’s first match and ya’ll require aid. Fuckin bitch made every one of you vagina packin sons of bitches!

Yet you still have the audacity to try to mock and belittle men that wouldn’t just fight their own battles but as well as the ones for people to weak, afraid, or just unable. You shouldn’t even be a waste of my breath you sniveling little twat waffle. Yet here I am drawing in air to call you out on your heinous bullshit about my past, present, and future. Get the fuck out of here Ms. Cleo! Ain’t a Motherfucker buying into your three dollars and seventy-two cents a minute crock of shit. That pansy ass shit may have worked great elsewhere, not here, not in the Motherfucker’s XWF!

We will look each other in the eye’s at War Games and you will see me go from playing GAMES. To all out WAR! All it will take is three, not one, not two, but three rings of the bell. That is when the games you clearly said you weren’t playing or getting involved in come to and end. Ding. Ding. Ding! That final piercing sound of the bell is my switch and well I won’t switch back until I hear the same noise again. Oh, you can bet your ass that means you and your goons are going to feel the wrath of a survivor of war. The spirits of all those who have fallen before me and those still fighting America’s battles in the land, air, and sea will be your enemy. Their power instilled within every blow, strike, punch, claw, bite, scratch, or maneuver I perform. Oh, and Drewsy Losey they are fucking pissed!

Might as well do what you do best possum, play dead.

Now on to the donkey or jack ass of the Apex. Robert Main, the Hart Champion. In my head you are the ASS! I mean what kind of man runs his cock holster like he has the biggest set of balls on the planet. Like him and his two butt buds are unstoppable for like a week and some odd change. Suddenly you run to the nest with a plan because you don’t believe you have what it takes. To try and recruit for the cause. Fucking weak sauce. You and your whole outfit. But. Wait. It gets better? You even went to as far as going to an ex-member knowing you would need the best of the best. Bwarhahaha. Too bad it wouldn’t change the outcome of our bout if you could have convinced the entire XWF retired roster to come to your aid.

Do I blame you for looking for a handicap bumper? Hell no. Shit, if I was told I had to face XWF’s very own Motherfuckers, I would want all the help I could get too. It’s just so cute how none of you shitheads meant anything you said this whole fucking time. Like how can one who admits they need help have called me a multiple time Champion with multiple different belts BWB, Bearded War Bitch. Kind of hilarious if I do say so. Really. You don’t get it? Bringing Raven into this match was probably one of the bitchiest moves you could have pulled Robert, way to try to project your feelings about yourself on me though. Maybe next time you will face someone who doesn’t pay attention to detail.

Seriously though before I had you pictured as the donkey because you are an asshole. Now you’ve shown me that you are not just any donkey, but the most bitch made donkey ever. Robert ‘Eeyore’ Main. How’d Raven’s bird cock taste after all I am sure the pretty boy needed a release before signing his death wish. Do you believe he is going to fly in, peck out our eyes, and allow you to beat us while we are blind? More fairy tale nonsense from the quickest forming and dismantled stable to ever walk the halls of XWF. Apex beating us will not be occurring at War Games period.

You all may call Robbie a paper champion, me the weak link, and Engy stupid for grasping our forearm in a Motherfucking bond of brothers. Only because you want to try and pry a wedge, well it didn’t work. We are a flawless unit, each of us brings our own little fuck to the table. Robbie makes the Universal Championship look good. Where in the Hart Championship makes you look good, we all know you are not. How in the world did you ever best Danny Imperial blows my fucking mind? Ever since that kid stepped foot here in the XWF, I personally became a fan. All well. Sometimes even the best of us have our days.

By the way I hope that Hart Championship has been treating you nicely. I may have just found my replacement gold. No sense of going back for my TV Championship when I could take the Hart from you with ease. A coward who begs for the help because he is afraid to fight his own battles doesn’t deserve such a prestige Championship. Now think about that long and hard because this Bearded War Bitch is going to becoming for you and well I’m gonna rip your Hart right out of your chest. War Games is my chance to soften you up and bleed you out. So, when I do go in for the kill, you are lifeless. Forcing you to stare up at a real apex predator with your Hart in my hand. You covered in your own blood looking up at a real Champion wishing you would have never tangled with the Motherfuckers!

Apex is not the only ones though; a lot of the roster is feeling the same way. At least about me anyway. Which brings me to my next victim under the scalpel. Jenny ‘My Wet Dreams’ Mist. Why, why do you feel I am the weakest link, because I’m the one without gold? Please, some could argue that makes me more dangerous, I have something more to prove. Any who, why’d you have to go and spew my name from your mouth anyways? I don’t even really know you. Please though if you make it to the finals make sure you find me in the ring and I will show you just exactly how devastating the weakest link of the Motherfuckers can be.

Let’s say I am the weakest link. What does that make you the strongest on your team? Bwarhahaha! Maybe if Robbie wasn’t placed on your team as a filler. That can’t be good news for you and your team if you make it to the finals. Since Robbie for sure would be competing in them on our side and not yours. Maybe just lay down and let Michael Graves, Dirty PP, Finn Kuhn, and Doc D’Ville just have their way with you. No. Fine then make it to the finals and I’ll make sure you are perfectly PINK MISTED all over the arena in Tokyo. Now ain’t that a Motherfucker?!
Same goes for you Doc, Chris Chaos, and any other high valued individuals that might find themselves in the final match at War Games. War Is drawing near, I am prepared for battle, my enemies are prepared for battle. Now we end the games, draw our blades, and charge into the violence. Every last single fuck who doesn’t believe in Bearded War Pig will soon be displayed in heaps of bodies for the XWF Universe to witness I still have what it takes to dominate the battle field. We are just days away, eat your Wheaties, tighten your laces, pull up your jock straps, Velcro your flak jackets, and place on your Kevlar helmets War Games is among us and this hog is War crazed!

Oink, Oink Motherfuckers!”
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[-] The following 3 users Like "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler's post:
Drew Archyle (12-22-2017), JimCaedus (12-22-2017), The Engineer (12-22-2017)




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