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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » WAR GAMES 2017 RP BOARD
Saving a Bunch of Kids
Author Message
Prof. Bobby Bourbon Offline
Mad Scientist



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
12-13-2017, 08:10 AM

A quaint, if not very large, cabin is seen in a rustic, wonderful pine cove, tinctured with the several days worth of light snow, about six to eight inches deep. Smoke billows out of a large, stoic chimney as several of the windows are glowing with warmth and light from within coming from several electric sources. The late evening sun isn't visible, casting instead strange, periwinkle shadows on the snow against a golden orange trickling through less denser portions of foliage surrounding the cabin.

Inside the cabin is Robbie Bourbon, a bunch of kids, two creepy Wiccan kids among them, Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd, Blue, Robbie's girlfriend and handler, and Ash, Robbie's stylist. Ash has a ukelele out and is playing a ditty that about 5 of the three dozen children are paying attention to. The rest are all oggling expensive amenities like a refridgerator with a water dispenser that makes a huge mess all over the natural hardwood floor (a poor decision in kitchen design), a huge flatscreen television with so many choices as to what to put on children are almost fighting each other as to what to watch. Cyberjaw and Diamondback are among them.

No, dude, we should watch Felicity. That show is good.

You're kidding me right now!

No, I am not! Put on Felicity. Give me the remote.

Cyberjaw reaches for the remote control as Diamondback recoils, keeping it out of his hand like a mischievous toddler.

These kids don't want to watch Felicity. I'm going to put on Big Bad Beetleborgs and show them some quality children's programming.

Kid's don't want that corny shit. They'll be quiet, it's Cyberjaw time now.

The kids all bicker with each other over whether to stay quiet and watch Felicity with Cyberjaw or Big Bad Beetleborgs with Diamondback. As the quarrel continues, Robbie approaches and snatches the remote out of Diamondback's hands.

You two go out and get more firewood.

Diamondback and Cyberjaw look disappointed.

Can't you get some of the kids to do it, like as a character building thing?

What? You're here to help give these kids a nice and memorable Chris...

Ahem. Holiday.

Blue looks at Robbie with pursed lips for half a second then back at Cyberjaw and Diamondback.

The kids are here to relax.

But it's Chris...

HOLIDAY.

Robbie's teeth are gritted as he speaks.

It's our holiday or whatever too!

Well, still, be grown ups about it.

Cyberjaw and Diamondback shrug and look at each other. They then look towards the pool of children, all still making a mess, breaking things, being completely out of hand, and loud about it.

YO! WHO WANTS TO PLAY A COOL GAME!

YEAH! GO OUTSIDE AND GET THE FIREWOOD!

Fortunately most of the kids are little shits and don't pay attention to the five adults left to look after them very much and don't get baited into trudging outside so none of the adults have to. Blue rolls her eyes and steps forward.

Who wants cocoa?

All the kids scream and scamper into the kitchen as Blue makes her way over and starts pulling all the necessities out of the cupboard and refridgerator as Robbie wanders over with her, cleaning up the calamity left there by the children. Robbie turns to Cyberjaw and Diamondback.

Go get the god damned wood!

One boy walks over.

Yeah, get the god damned wood.

The kids all laugh.

Okay, you go help them. You can't swear like that until you're at least fifteen.

The kid slumps, but puts his jacket on without fuss. Robbie's gaze narrows for a moment, then turns towards both Cyberjaw and Diamondback. Cyberjaw starts to dress for the cold as Diamondback saunters back towards the kitchen.

What are you doing?

What, the wood is only a two person job.

Get your silly ass out there and help that little boy carry firewood indoors. Can't you see he's either proving he's tough or proving he has compassion for the rest of the kids by helping keep them warm? Don't you want to hear that little speech come out and grab you by the heartstrings?

I, well, you really think?

I think he's doing both. Either way, go foster the lad and help him carry in the firewood.

Okay.

Diamondback smiles, knowing he's doing good as he turns and walks away. Robbie sighs silently and turns to Blue.

Thank you.

Oh no problem.

Ash walks up. She starts playing her ukelele in the kitchen and leading the kids in a sing along of Jingle Bells. Robbie takes a moment to step away from the group.

Man, I really do hate that silly ukelele, but it's sweet of Ash to try to help out and entertain the kids.

Too bad Ax3 Returns isn't any entertaining. Sure, I'm the most talked about Superstar in the XWF today, but mom's basement sure as hell isn't this wonderful cabin, and blowing off personal behaviors as the problems of society in general just sound like a cop-out to not carry yourself like a man should.

Bobbo, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. You, Jimbo, and Drewbo. Condoning being a piece of shit for being a piece of shit just because the only other things in the toilet your see are other turds does not a real man make. That only makes a pile of shit.

That's far from what the people actually deserve.

See, I fight for them. The people. Even you. I fight so even Bob, Jim, and Drew can have a better, brighter tomorrow. Not because they're weak, feeble, or useless, but because they need the guidance, the hope, and the leadership of someone with actual moral and testicular fortitude to be something more than themselves. Day in, day out, my higher power, the people, drive me to be what I am, a Champion, a fighter, and with some luck, a better man at the end of the day.

Robert Main sucks the chlamydia out of the assholes of bargain Backpage whores and calls it candy. Then he runs around and shows everybody his dirty little mouth, thinking it makes him look sexy, and begs and pleads with underaged boys to spin the oversized buttplug he uses daily. The brand of that buttplug? Jim Caedus, the living goatse, a warped, disformed, traitorous asshole who he himself is so far up Bob Main's ass he has his own chapter in most books on Proctology. Proctology being the medicine of assholes. Drew Archyle is just a footnote in that book. I think he just brings Bob and Jim coffee in the morning then sits around, looking bored, wondering when the perpetual assplay will get a break so he can jump in there and play pitcher and catcher. Oh, that's some allusions to gay shit and homoeroticisms. I guess Bob and Jim and Drew might jump on that or something, thinking this is debate club, and insinuate that my words have no meaning because some words had another meaning or full meaning or something like that. There have been Three Stooges shorts that had more integrity than anything that could happen when those three racists get together. Oh yes, all three, they jumped onto the wagon and decided that Bob and his racism was okay. Bob and his racism are hunky dory, fun, and acceptable.

Jim Caedus, of course, is a traitor, a fraud, and a puppet of Bob Main. No free will, no spine, none of those things that make one a man. Why did you do it, Jim? Why did you decide to jump ship and press your tongue to another man's sphincter, blowing whatever crack smoke you have got to be exhaling up there about what a winner he is? You know why Jim Caedus became a traitor? Because it was the easy way. It was the simple way. He felt, deep down in his heart, that standing up for and defending the people was way too big a burden for a man like himself, so he bailed out. He jumped off, and got out of the way of doing anything for the people. Too timid, too scared, too worried, overwhelmed, overstressed, and paralyzed by the notion of putting his ass on the line when it fucking mattered and the people needed him. Chickenshit little , try-hard, sound-hard, Downy-soft candy assed piece of garbage, caught in the toilet and causing a clog at the State Fair so terrible they have to burn the portable chemical toilet instead of fixing it. You make people physically sick just by being on TV, let alone youtube, so I guess it's a miracle I'm on the airwaves and being cool about it instead of you. Living ipecac, Jim Caedus. You're so sickening your mom throws up when she hears your name, so disgusting the CDC has a team studying you, so foul that every time you walk into a crack house or methadone clinic the residents complain about property values dipping.

Watch.


Robbie turns his head towards the kitchen.

JIM CAEDUS!

As Robbie shouts, all the children cover their ears, Blue and Ash dry heave, and the two Wiccan kids shudder.

Don't do that!

Gross!

Robbie turns back to the camera. As he does, the lights flicker. The kids all scream, save the two Wiccan kids. As they do, a grotesque figure peers in through a window.

WHAT'S THAT!

The lights resume normal function as the figure disappears.

Krampus!

What's that?

That's a krampus! During the winter solstice, krampi emerge from the darkness of the world to feed on the guilt of children!

What? That doesn't sound very holiday!

It is!

Well, shit, kids, don't be so guilty!

Behind Robbie we hear a door open and slam shut. Cyberjaw and Diamondback are seen, panting.

Jesus! There's a thing!

It's massive!

Where's the kid?

The kid?

Cyberjaw and Diamondback look at each other.

I thought you had him.

I told him to run.

I told you to run.

You told us to run.

Diamondback turns to Robbie.

I told them to run.

Robbie rolls his eyes.

Shit, those kids parents will be here any minute.

Robbie turns to the group of children, along with Blue and Ash.

Yo, do any of you guys know what that kids name was that went outside?

Tony.

Are you sure it's Tony?

No.

It's Leroy.

Seriously?

Yes.

Okay, I'm going to get Leroy.

Robbie pivots and marches towards the door. He pulls an axe from the wall and departs.

[Image: DtUCPfZ.png]
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[-] The following 3 users Like Prof. Bobby Bourbon's post:
"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler (12-13-2017), Drew Archyle (12-13-2017), Phantom Panzer (12-13-2017)




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