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Neville Sinclair · (12-07-2017)

Dec. 7, 2017

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Gainsborough had been alerted that once his mentor, Royal Portrait artist Allan Ramsay, either retired or passed away there was an opening for his official title.

It was an interesting thought, if Gainsborough achieved the position, he would be guaranteed a shot at immortality. People would see his paintings hanging throughout the Royal houses and know his name. Gainsborough could rise above everything that had kept him down in life and be the kind of person he never dreamt he could be.

But he didn’t need the title in order to do that. Great artists achieved their own immortality, they didn’t need to ride on others to get there. Thomas imagined that one day his paintings would be known, not because of who he painted but because of who painted them. He imagined school children looking to his work for inspiration. He imagined even his lesser works being sold for great amounts at auctions all across the world. He imagined people appreciating his art because they found themselves being engaged with it. He smiled as he pictures what this moment could mean in his life.

As King George III stood in front of him, he felt the pressure to make this moment count for something. If he was given the shortcut to longevity, he would take it gladly, but he knew it was a competition and he knew every other artist in the entirety of Britain sought this honour out.

Hold Still Your Majesty

Because of the King’s request, Gainsborough had asked him to stand tall and proud. This was a chance for the “Americans” to see a defiant nation in the midst of revolution. King George’s gait needed to be substantially stiff.

But there was nothing Gainsborough could do about it. To touch the king would be defying all sorts of Royal etiquette. It could even lead to his execution if he wasn’t careful. As he described the way he wanted the king to sit, he imagined every word as a brushstroke, every description he could give as a colour. His explanation needed to be its own art, and the King had to be impressed by it. If he could accomplish this he knew the painting would turn out.

He glanced at the King’s face, while it was exactly what it needed to be, it wasn’t all that it could be. He changed a few features on the initial trace. A stiffer upper lip, that needed to be added. A more defiant look in his eyes, Thomas was sure he could add that.

In many ways this was about drawing his essence, not his likeness. But if he strayed too far from the truth, he knew the King wouldn’t be satisfied.

And hold…

Gainsborough traced the King’s body now. Again making changes that needed to happen. In this way, he thought, he was even influencing the future of the country. He was given freedom to display the King the way he defined.

Art was influence and this was his time to be influential
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Dec. 7, 2017

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Neville walked through the National Portrait Gallery in London. He marvelled as he saw every historical figure he could imagine lining the walls of the hall he walked down. He imagined that if he had made a few different choices in life, he too, could have been on this wall.

At one corner of the building, he found the wall of Kings and Queens. He had spent some good time here previously, gawking at icons of heroes of his country. In front of him stood the portrait of Edward VI. Beside him was the hilariously incompetent Henry VIII. On a concurrent wall sat Queen Victoria. Every inch of this area was covered in greatness, and just to be in the presence of these Monarchs made Neville feel more confident about his match on Saturday.

Us Brits are a proud bunch really. All you need to do is glance at one of these great ones and you are filled with an immense sense of National Pride. That’s the one thing we have that you Yanks don’t, a proud and noble history that goes back hundreds of years. I’ve marvelled as America has imploded in it’s sense of pride these days. Hearing you debate whether to honour early leaders of your country because you didn’t agree with everything they did is an interesting thing. Seeing you topple your own heroes is fascinating. And I’m not saying I don’t agree with the sentiments, I just know it couldn’t happen over here. In many ways we paint our own portraits of heroic leaders. We see their faults, decide to either ignore them, include them or make it look better and present our leaders to the rest of the world as a picture of who we are.

Have you ever wondered what the importance of a portrait is? I mean really? Portraits are the intersection of status and art. Humanity gains status through accomplishment, and that status gets expressed through the medium of visual art. That’s an amazing thing when you think about it. Rarely do you see a famous painting of someone who hasn’t accomplished something hanging as great art. We fail to recognize the beauty in the mundane. We fail to give them status.

Erik Black, I’ve watched you a few times now, and part of me has wanted to react strongly because it’s just been such a bad representation of who I am. That’s when I realized, you’re just not a very good artist. If you’ll allow me to explain why, I really feel like you could learn something here. In fact, the entire XWF could learn something if they just listened for one damn second.

Neville speaks with incredible emphasis on this last statement and gets shushed by someone in the gallery. He glares daggers as he speaks his first lesson.

Lesson #1 – A Great Artist knows his Subject

You see, this is where I feel like everything falls apart on you. A great artist knows how to change some things in his art to make the subject larger than life, but ultimately he can capture his essence. How much time have you put into getting to know me this week Black? And I mean really getting to know me? Have you watched my promos? Have you seen my old matches? All you seem to focus on is my current situation and the fact that you think you’ve got me labelled because I’m smart.

Honestly though Black, all you seem to accomplish in your last promo is calling me smart over and over again. You’ve failed to capture my essence. If I was only smart, I wouldn’t have lasted as TV Champ from August into October. I wouldn’t have been able to beat a good chunk of this roster you look up to. I’ve been champion, superstar of the month, and I’ve been called the “greatest TV champion of all time” by people who know and love this business. You’ve failed to even acknowledge any of that. Perhaps its because you didn’t know it. Maybe forgetting was simply a sign of ignorance, but if that’s the case, you haven’t done your homework and Saturday should be a pretty easy day for me. But I’ve told you it before in my last promo, so I’m assuming the reason you haven’t mentioned it is because you’re choosing to ignore it.

That means you’re scared Erik Black, it means that you are willingly leaving something out of the conversation with the thought it might blow over. You go so far as to leave the fact out that you really want to keep this belt. Let’s be real for a second, Black, I’ve seen enough shit in this world to know that when you put a lot of effort into something, it’s because you want that thing badly. Let’s use the example of a woman ok? No one puts energy into dating because they don’t expect anything from it. You show up for dates, dress well and treat her nicely all so you can either get commitment or sex from her. You don’t just “not care”, your actions are saying a different thing than your mouth might.

If you truly didn’t care, you’d go Phantom Panzer all over this match. You’d film “fuck off” promos that would talk about kittens or some other random shit. But you’re trying Black, which means you want this. Don’t try and kid yourself otherwise. You’ve dressed up, done your hair and horny for gold. Don’t try and tell me you don’t care about this match, I’ll call bullshit every time.

Neville sits and watches as a young boy approaches the painting of Henry VII. He finds himself staring at his cod-piece for far too long. Neville smiles knowing that his fascination with penis-size really shows his admiration for manhood. Like a kid in a public swimming pool change room, they all want to be bigger than they are right now. Neville laughs thinking that Black operates in much the same way.

Lesson #2 – A Great Artist makes the Best Decisions he can

Imagine painting a King Erik, you not only have power to show the world his essence, you are able to get close enough to his greatness that the art becomes personal. Everything you paint has to be clearly thought through and justified. You can tell the King to “fuck off” simply by altering one of his features. Decision making is crucial.

Erik Black, you are the King of bad decision making. How else can you explain what I saw as I watched your promo last week? There was so much wrong with it, instead of reacting right away, I had to sit back and laugh and think through how I could say something calmly to a moron like you.

First, what the flying fuck was up with your censorship of yourself? It wasn’t the XWF that censored it when you said bad words. Hell, I’ve heard guys in this federation calling each other cunts as a term of endearment. We are in a federation that attaches explosives to ring ropes for death matches and you’re scared of the words “asshole” or “fuck”? Listen buddy, puritanism ended hundreds of years ago, you can say the word “fuck” without censoring yourself. The only thing that made me laugh harder than your random personal censorship was the fact that you missed the giant “over-sized pussy” comment in the middle of things. I don’t know why you’ve chosen to do this, maybe your mom helps you edit your promos, but it was laughably bad to censor yourself. I have nothing more to say about that.

I also found it to be poor decision making to try and copy me in every way imaginable. It was laughingly obvious you’d be one of the guys to try and get your own Scotch into your promo. But again, it didn’t really say anything about me because you don’t know me. You simply took a shot of Scotch. Do you think I’m the only one who does that in the world? Do you think its some kind of biting commentary to take a shot of Scotch? Congratulations Black, you’ve become man and drank some good shit, hilarious. The only other thing that it shows me is that

I’ve obviously impacted you a lot more than you’ve impacted me. Imitation is and always will be the purest form of flattery. Then again, I guess that’s all you have to go on because your personality is about as good as a stick. Here’s how to do it.

Neville pulls out the expensive Scotch again and downs three shots in gold rimmed whiskey glasses. This had to be better than that shit-water Black called Scotch.

Lesson #3 – A Great Artist knows how to Express Himself

Here again is where you really fall short Black. You know how to wrestle. That’s good. I think you know how to talk a big game, I’m better, but that’s good. But seriously, you have absolutely no personality. If I were to ask different superstars or fans what makes you interesting, I’m sure everyone would have to think long and hard before coming up with generic answers that “kind of” describe you.

One might say “he’s strong”, another “he’s tough”. But no one finds that even remotely interesting. I mean shit, Erik, even your promotional material looks like some kind of self-help bullshit. You did martial arts? Well that’s nice, so did most children after seeing “The Karate Kid”. You won a trophy? Very interesting. I’m sure it was the same kind of place that hands out 31st place ribbons. You’re hardcore?! Damn, that’s original in the wrestling business. There’s nothing about any of it that could potentially rise above where you’re at now.

Here’s a tip. Maybe you’d be better off if your promos weren’t just about me. I mean you did a great job describing every single stereotypical aspect of myself I could have forgotten, but you came off about as boring as a rock. That’s sad, because the company needs more stars that can express themselves. When you look at the pros, it takes time for characters to develop. I’m thrilled the pro leagues have “minor leagues” now because it helps us get to know wrestlers before their main event status.

What I’m suggesting to you Black, is that you need a lot more time in the “minor leagues”. You have the skills, you have the look, but you don’t have anything that sets you apart. That’s not champion material. Champions need to be the ones who epitomize the federation in who they are, how they act, how much they can sell things. Until you prove that you can do this Erik, you’ll always be a “minor Leaguer” to me. Go get yourself a personality.

Neville walks down the hallway of the gallery, his right knee still making him move at a slight limp. As he continues walking, he moves faster and faster, his limp gradually fading as he pushes the pace. He smiles as he looks on his bandaged knee. People were wondering if he’d be ready on time, he knew he would be. He could think of nothing else in the world he desired more than to kick Erik Black’s ass on Saturday night.

This will be fun.

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