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Peter's 600 Pound Life
12-05-2017, 09:43 PM
Post: #1

[Image: my-600-lb-life2.jpg]

We check in on former XWF superstar Peter Gilmour, who went from having a steady job as a wrestling superstar....

Engy leans into the shot.

”Superstar”? Let's not get carried away.

...okay, a steady job as a guy who gets beat up for a living, to being a complete social recluse who is too obese to even leave his home.

The camera cuts to the interior of a trailer home. A guy who looks a hell of a lot like Peter Gilmour except an even fatter blob of gelatinous goo, is nude save for a white blanket barely covering his nether regions. He's propped up on a hospital bed, with a tray in front of him full of empty plates. His undulating man boobs hang down to his waist, or where one would presume his waist would be. “Peter” turns to the camera and responds like he's replying to an interviewer.

Losing Maria was probably the worst part. Yeah, that cut the deepest.

Interviewer: Oh, so she left you?

No I rolled over on her in bed and she was just gone.

How does that happen?

The doctors thought she might be trapped somewhere inside my fat still. But getting her out at this point could prove fatal for me. Boy is her family pissed....

The shot cuts to outside Peter's ramshackle trailer park home, where Engy is standing by. He too addresses the camera as though he's responding to an interviewer.

The guy was just never the same since I beat him and retained my Xtreme championship back in December of 2017. Yeah, I think that loss made him realize quite a few things about himself that he just wasn't ready to accept. And I think it just kinda....broke him, ya know? So he turned to food. Like, even more than he usually did. And he just kept eating and eating....

We cut to a quick shot of “Peter” with one hand in a bag of Doritos and his other hand rewinding a tape of his Universal title victory over Scully. We then cut back to Engy.

I don't think him constantly watching those tapes is healthy either. Can you imagine what that does to a man? Knowing that even when you were in your prime, you still weren't that great? That you still just beat a chump champion to become an even bigger chump champion and that for the rest of your career that was the BEST thing you could hang your hat on? It must feel just awful.

Do you feel bad for the role you played in his downfall?

Well sure I do! Look, a lot of people hear what I say and see what I've done and assume I'm heartless. That's not true! I have compassion! I have empathy! I wouldn't be helping Peter week after week if I didn't care.

So you guys are friends now?

Oh sure! I mean, everybody else from the XWF cut ties with him once he started asking people to lace his boots for him because he couldn't reach over his gut. But me? I saw a man who needed HELP. And today, I have a BIG surprise for Peter. Come on in and watch me drop this bomb on him!

Engy excitedly beckons the camera crew to follow as he makes his way past the screen door into Peter's abode. Peter looks up from the stack of frozen TV's dinners he's devouring as Engy walks in the room.

Hey hey buddy!

What's up Engy? Hey man guess what. When my nurse was washing my dick today, I managed to shift just enough so that her hand slipped and it was kinda like she was rubbing it for a second. Like she was jacking me off. Pretty cool, huh?

Yeah, yeah...that's, uh....pretty great Pete. But I got something even better than that planned for you today!

”Peter” brightens.

A garbage bag full of little Debbie snack cakes?!

NO! Because today is the first step of a long and wonderful journey. Today, I help you begin the process of getting back into fighting shape!

Oh geeze, I don't know if I can. Engy, that....that.....

That...that...that is TOTALLY doable for you Peter. If you put your mind to it!

The shot cuts again back to the exterior of Peter's home, where Engy is front and center. In the background, the fire department has just finished cutting a hole in the side of Peter's trailer and a forklift is raising him up and out.


Peter protests the whole way as the forklift slowly pulls back. Suddenly, the lift bucks and Peter is dropped to the ground! The fire department starts to rush in, then suddenly recoil in horror. A wet smacking sound, like suction, can be heard as Peter's body hits the ground and a corpse pops out of him covered in yeasty mucus. One of the firemen wretches instantly. Engy looks back.

Oh shit, that's Maria! Oh her family will be so happy to finally have her body!

The shot then cuts again to the interior of an empty arena. An XWF ring is there, and Engy is waiting inside it holding a large box that is gift wrapped with a bow. Peter's music hits the speakers.

Engy produces a mic with his free hand as Peter is wheeled down the ramp on the fork lift, looking like a massive deflated flesh balloon. Nevertheless, he's smiling. A wistful smile covers his face, making it clear just how much he missed this.

And making his return to the ring, he hails from Los Angeles California and weighs in at...uh.....nevermind.....LIVING LEGEND PETER GILMOUR!

Once the forklift reaches ringside, it begins the slow process of lifting him up and over the ropes. And when I say slow, I mean awkwardly slow. His music replays like three times all the way through. Engy starts to look impatient and then checks his watch. Finally, Peter is displayed in the ring. His music cuts and Engy walks up to him, still speaking into the mic.

Peter, it must feel really good to be back here, huh?

Peter pads at his crying eyes with a hankie.

Engy, I can't thank you enough for this. I.....yeah, it feels good. It feels really good. I never thought I'd be back in this ring. And, being here right now makes me feel like, yeah, yeah maybe I can do this. Maybe I can get back into fighting shape! In fact, I don't think any achievement is beyond my grasp with a friend like you Engy!

It's Engy's turn to look misty eyed now. He rubs the tears away on his sleeve.

Thanks man, that means a lot. And I had a feeling you'd say that, and that being back here would give you the drive to improve yourself. So, I have a present for you Peter. You know, it's always haunted me that I was the one who caused you to go plunging into despair. I knew I needed to give you something special to commemorate this day. You've been through so much so....

Engy puts the gift wrapped box down and lifts off the lid. Placing the mic down as well, he lifts the contents of the box up. It's the Xtreme championship. it is champ. Better late that never. It's yours.

Peter claps his plump hands together, fresh tears wetting his cheeks.

Oh Engy, I don't know what to say....

Engy lifts the belt further out of the box, and only now does it become evident that there are wires trailing down from the belt. Engy passes the title to Peter, who immediately clutches it to his ample bosom.

And while we're taking this trip down memory lane, how about I add one more wrinkle?

Engy pulls a big red button out of the box, of which Peter is blissfully unaware. Engy presses the button and Peter is electrocuted by the Xtreme championship! He screams out in pain as the current passes through his shuddering bulbous form. Finally, his heart gives out and he goes motionless, his shapeless ovoid form practically dissolving into a puddle of fleshy pulp.


The shot then pans back, back, all the way back to Engy and Madison watching Engy dance around obese “Peter's” body on a screen.

So this is how you spent $500,000 of Dyson Production Studio's money? On a protracted fat joke?

Ayyyyyuuup. But hey, don't forget the callback to the “volts” thing too.

Madison draws in a long, deep, frustrated breath.

Well you just blew the budget for War Games so I hope you weren't planning to do Jim Caedus' House of Drugs part II or anything.


Madison smirks at Engy and walks out of the shot. Engy turns towards the camera.

Well Petey boy that's pretty much all I got left for you. A fat joke. Because what else is there left to say? That I'm better than you? That I'm definitely going to beat you? That way better men than you have tried to pump my brakes and failed? Bitch we've flogged this horse bloodless.

You say you've done more than me Peter, but you're discounting the fact that you've got more years in the tank than me. When we look at what really counts-the PRESENT-there is not a sane man alive that could dispute that since I've arrived at these shores I've fucked off with your gold and left you stranded in the ocean. You ain't got shit on me. And you know it. You're bleeding insecurity in both promo's you cut. Flip flopping back and forth between moronic premature declarations of victory and admissions that you may not get the job done. So which one is it, Peter?

Don't worry, I got you fam. It's the second one. You're such a thoughtless dumpy man baby you can't even settle on whether you want to be humble or an egomaniac. And you were trying to argue you're the most CONSISTENT guy on the roster? Bitch, you ain't even consistent in the same PARAGRAPH.

So now I gut you with a fish hook Peter. Now I kill your love for the XWF by just plain killing. I'm gonna spoil this company for you...hell, this whole fucking business. And why?

Because I hate you. Because your face is stupid and you are fat. Because you're the whiniest Beta bitch boy on the roster since Barney Green sailed off into the sunset. Take your pick. I just want you gone. Not because you're a threat but because you're the antithesis of a threat. You're a waste of goddamn time. A doughy past his prime has been and never was rolled up in one convenient middling package.

VOLTS, Peter. Goddamn VOLTS.

Okay, now I'm done with it for real.

Engy shuts the monitor off, ceasing his own dancing around the crisped obese corpse of Peter Gilmour. And on the screen in it's place....

[Image: tumblr_static_tumblr_static_28bhdsiu9nok...0g_640.gif]

[Image: 9QBn3eQ.jpg]

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Peter Fn Gilmour (12-06-2017)
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