Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Chris Chaos · (11-26-2017)

Have you ever come back home and not felt home? Have you ever walked down a road you have walked down thousands of times and felt like you'd never seen it before? These people, these places, they were all foreign. They were a different country. You were tourist in your own home. You were an outcast.

You recognize the buildings around you, but you don't remember when you saw them last. Or why you saw them. Or who you were with. You faintly remember seeing them, once, but it felt like so long ago. Your sneakers crunched on a road you felt like one time or another you had been on, but just couldn't put a finger on it. Buildings that something in you told you that you had seen before, because they had a home-like feel to them. Do you know how weird it feels to look at something, have it give you a warm feeling, and not remember where the fuck you had seen it before, or if you ever had?

You turned your head on a swivel and saw the world around you. It was all new to you, but you felt safe, comfortable. At least that was nice. A lot of the buildings seemed to have stucco walls and the grass was the deepest shade of green you had ever seen. It felt soft under your feet, but also hard to the touch. It crunched under your steps, a sound similar to a sissor cut in a fresh piece of construction paper. Why weren't you wearing shoes?

There was water on each side of the strip you stood on. Ocean on one side, intercoastal on the other. For some reason, though, you didn't know which body of water it was. You just knew it was water, shimmering in the sun with a greenish-blue glow. You continued to walk, trying to figure out where the hell you were and why you were there, and why the hell it felt so familiar but you swore you'd never actually been there.

Buildings had illuminated sea-food signs and beer specials. Shops lined the strip. You were obviously in a popular tourist destination. This was coming up on a touristy time of year, when all of these snow-birds came south to escape the snow they are too dumb to stop living in. You needed to find something to jolt your memory. Docks. There was an apartment complex that seemed to give you a warm feelings, and the docks behind them did as well. You made your way down to them.

These were the same docks you'd been on before. You used to sit on them, dipping your feet in the water despite the "CAUTION: SHARKS" signs. You'd always been a risk taker. You used to fish on them. Sit on them at night and gaze at the stars with a hand rolled blunt and wonder about the meaning of existence. You even shared your first kiss with your ex here........

But as your feet shuffled over the polished wood, stained from the elements, you just couldn't remember ever being here.

WHY COULDN'T YOU REMEMBER?!

The body of water in front of you was massive. There were buildings on the other side. You had looked at this same sight, squinting in the suns rays, thousands of times but if someone had given you 1 million dollars to tell them the waters name right now, you couldn't do it.

Frustrated, flustered, and at this point bordering on pissed off, you wandered off the docks and towards a bar and grill on the strip. You don't know why you picked this one, as there was really no thinking involved in it, you just went right to it. The AC felt good, despite the cool ocean breeze.

You went in and sat down. The stools were comfortable, as you would expect in a high-volume beach front establishment. The bartender was at the other end of the bar, talking to two good looking girls with obviously fake tits and hair that was so bleached they would need wigs in their 50's. When he turned his head and saw you, though, it got weird.

"MYYYY MAN! Yo! What the hell! Where the hell ya been dude?!"

Huh?

He basically ran over to where you sat, forgetting the two beach bunnies who were wearing entirely too much clothing for their features, and damn near collided with the bar to get to you. He reached a hand out and shook yours.

"Yo man......Its been so long...too long! How the hell ya been?"

You didn't know this man. Was this a joke? Was he just overly friendly? Was he on something?

You looked around uncomfortably. Everyone in the place was smiling at you. The two girls even turned their heads and flashed their overly white teeth. Everyone seemed to know you, but you had no clue who any of them were.

You didn't know this place from a hole in the wall. This was all getting seriously weird. It was like the worst hangover after a black out drunk you'd ever had.

"I got your order in my man.....the Cajun Grouper sandwich, extra sauce, no pickle, and a side of slaw. With fries. Your usual gin and tonic?"

Umm......it sounded delicious to you, but you hadn't even picked up a menu yet. You weren't even offered a menu.

"Uhh.....sure"

He smiled again, tapping his knuckles on the bar and pointing at you "this guyyyyyy!"

He turned back around. "Today, its on me my dude. Glad to have ya back!"

Free food? Fuck. Maybe you could milk this for a little while longer.

The alarm woke you up with its obnoxious chimes. Rolling over, the sun beat on your eyes like a hammer through thin curtains. You groan to yourself. Where were you? You slid out of the bed and surveyed the surroundings. The place seemed nice, but was this your place? You'd never been here before. You walked to the bathroom, you actually knew where the bathroom was without having to search for it, and began pissing. There were pictures on the way and newspaper clippings about you. Apparently, you were pretty important.

You left the fancy apartment and walked outside to the strip. This was a nice place. It seemed tropical. You could tell it was a tourist destination because of all the obnoxious white people and college students taking selfies and snap chat photos in their "2017!" tee shirts and memorabilia. God people suck.

You shiver as you walk by them. You are a bit hungry. Maybe you would get some grub before you did some investigating as to where the hell you were........who the hell you were.

There was a bar and grill type of thing on the corner, and it seemed less commercialized than the tourist dreck.

The bar was nice, the stools were comfortable. One thing that seemed eerie was that the people were all smiling at you. This had to be south, people weren't inherently this friendly. You laugh to yourself as you repeat under your breath how much people suck.

The bartender seemed to lift weights. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and it was clear he was required to wear a dress shirt despite the heat outside. His skin was tanned from obvious years in the sun, and his hair was gelled to a shine in the bar lights. He had an earring in one ear and a visible tat on his right forearm. The people in the establishment ranged of all sorts.....but the weird thing was, they were all smiling at you. They were pointing. Some were whispering. You didn't know whether to feel like a legend or a pariah.

Here comes the gelled tanned dick.

"Ayyy! You're back! Getting after it again, eh? Atta boy."

What? Again? You'd never been to this bar before in your life. You had never sat in this chair. Never seen these people.

You felt yourself smile sheepishly.

"Yeah....I guess...."

What else could you say to a comment like that? This guy was weird. These people were weird. You wanted to leave.....but you didn't know where to go.

Everyone you know is somehow a bit of a stranger, and everything is new - but at the same time, you know it's jamais vu. Extremely confusing, and frustrating.

The alarm woke you up with its chimes. God, why so early. 830 am? Jesus. You tried to go back to sleep, even put a pillow over your eyes to shelter the beating beams that were raping your eyes. Nothing worked. Walking down an unfamiliar street, you found it odd that you seemingly knew where you were going. It was about noon when you made your way into a restaurant/bar on whatever strip this was, in whatever town, whatever state, whatever country.

When you sat down you immediately noticed people staring at you. Not like people do, but the way a dog does. Eyes following you, unwavering, void of external emotion. It wasn't until they smiled that you knew their intentions were not as ill as originally anticipated.

Weird.

You sat at the bar and some gelled up dick with a bad tan was over zealous in the customer service department.

"Man....hitting it hard this week, huh?"

What? You had just sat down. The hell did he mean?

"The usual order? Shit there isn't gonna be enough grouper in the ocean to feed this guy!"

Grouper was delicious. How did he know you wanted grouper?

"So how ya been man? You haven't been saying much. figured you would come in here with a bunch of stories......"

You looked at him, also like a dog does. Tilting your head in confusion with a smattering of frustration, you shrugged.

"I.....uh......I don't know. I don't know who you are, dude." His name tag said Guy, that was helpful.

Not.

He looked at you for a second. His stare was like a thousand daggers. He looked to be as offended as a Trump-protester being told Veganism was un-American.

Just when it looked like he was going to lay into you, he began laughing hysterically, slapping his hands on the bar.

"Hahahahahahahaha! Oh man, you still got it man! You don't know who I am. And with a straight face! Ha!"

"I....uh.....I don't. I don't know any of this. Any of you."

He almost blew a snot bubble from laughing.

"Yo Johnny! You hear this?! He claims he doesn't know us, never been here! Pssshhheeaaaahahah!"

You looked at him with a serious look. "It's true, I don't".

Just then his expression changed. It was a snap of the finger type of thing.

He leaned in close. So close you could feel his breath.

"You been hitting the scuzi again, brotha?"

*Scuzi is a Florida beach term for cocaine*

You stared at him. He leaned in so close he could kiss you.

"Listen, I don't know what the fuck is up with you. But you are really offending me here, embarrassing me in front of people who I see daily."

"Well, how do you think I feel. I have no clue who you are and you are treating me like we hang out every day. I don't know how or why you think you know me."

He slapped the bar hard enough to make you jump.

"I know everything about you."

His voice was cold now.

"We all do. You have been coming here for years. You have lived on the Island most of your life, and have been in this bar weekly since you've been able to reach the damn rail. You have been a regular here for as long as I can remember. Now, your meal is free today, on me..."

He reached into the tip jar.

"After your meal, get out of here and come back when you have your head right."

The alarm rang, waking you out of a slumber. You groaned as you awoke but quickly found that you couldn't move. Your arms were tied above you. Your legs were restrained as well. There was some sort of device you were laying on. It seemed like a bed, but wasn't. It was wooden, and solid.

As you opened your eyes, a hooded figure stood over you. It seemed to be a woman, just based on stature.

"Who....where......."

You fought to free yourself. Her face was concealed by as mask, and her hood was up. She was using a voice changer, as she sounded more like the devil than a woman.

"Your little experiment with jamais vu, it went well. You still have so much more to learn, however."

The fuck?

You wrestled with you restraints again. Nothing doing.

"You will never recognize those around you until you recognize yourself. You need to know who you are before you figure out who they are."

They? What the fuck?

"These people....they look down on you. They laugh at you. You are a joke to them. Nothing but a disappointment. Nothing but the butt of their jokes. You have allowed it or far too long."

You again tried to fight your way out.

You become frustrated the lack of progress.

"WHAT THE FUCK! LET ME OUT!"

"That is the issue. Your rage, your anger, your build up emotion. Let it all go. You need to be the new you in order to be the best you. They feed off the emotions they knew to exist. You need to be void of all emotions."

Looking into her masked face, you exchange eye contact. You had seen those eyes before.

She was evil.

Terrible.

The closest thing to Satan himself.

But she was right.

She nodded at someone behind her, and the platform shifted as the door shut. All that could be heard were your screams.

"All of these men, these prestigious men, with more accolades than Cooperstown, are clambering on trying to fight for a prize they don't even haven confirmation exists. Doc is pulling the wool over their eyes. Doc is smarter than most people his age.....he at least puts a bib on before they feed him his jello! Knowing Doc it is probably X-Bux or something. Wouldn't blame him.

Why would Doc reward any of these men? Men who could be a threat to him? Men who would just assume take him out and steal the damn prize. Here is the thing.......I don't care what the prize is. I am in this for pride. These men have made the same fatal flaw I made, they have fallen into the same trap. They have slept on those who they deem their inferiors. All are stuck in their own worlds, set in their own ways, too blind to see the world around them. Scully, Caedus, Imperial....they had one line about me, each. One. Caedus is doing his normal over-aggression with closet homosexual undertones, claiming he is the king of the world when he hasn't been anything than a strap-on with legs for a mixed breed whore whose head is larger than Earth itself. Imperial has accomplished something I did a long time ago, and beat the poster boy for smoke in mirrors, Cadryn Tiberius. Scully, well, he is just a

. War Pig hasn't said anything, but probably has his dick in a cow somewhere on a farm in Michigan. None of these men have changed at all. They sleep on me. They disregard me. I am a joke to them. They don't take my advice, don't heed my warnings. Now, I have to come back and show them that the Chris Chaos they knew....he is long dead. This is a new me. I have found out who I am, but all of them are stuck in the illusion of who they want to be. I am coming here to give all of them the sensation of jamais vu. They will not recognize me, but they won't be able to help but know me when the final buzzer rings. Chris Chaos is back...........

He's always been here.......

Maybe it was jamais vu all along.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Jamais Vu
Author	Message