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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
It continued
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erikblack Offline
I ARE RETARDEDS!!!!!!!!!



XWF FanBase:
Nobody

(boring as fuck; promos act as sleeping medicine; never recognized in public)


#1
11-14-2017, 10:36 AM

There were freaks everywhere at the freak show circus. It was opening night. It was a rainy night, yet people showed up. They always have when it comes to Zero Tolerance. You either love or hate them. There is no in between.

Erik hated the idea. He hated everything about this freak show. He hated how much money it cost. He hated the atmosphere. He hated it, which was evident by the sneer on his face. Erik has always been a serious man. He felt himself above these things.

He sat on a rickety old bench in a dusty old dressing room. He didn't know what the others were like and he didn't care. He just wanted out. His icy blue eyes only stared a hole through the curtain that lead to his room.

" Calm down, Erik. Remember your training.", Erik kept saying to himself. He was obviously referencing his combat training. Stay calm in all situations. Think clearly and you'll make it. Erik had lived by that training from the very first day he received it.

He got a feeling as if someone was watching him. And he was right. Crazy J entered the room. He stood at six foot six. His face was painted like a clown. He wore a black ZT hockey Jersey and black shorts. He swung curtain open like he owned the joint.

His eyes met Erik's. Erik didn't have to voice his displeasure. Crazy J could read it..even through all his face paint. "Cheer up, buddy. This thing didnt cost that much!", J said as he slapped Erik on the back. Erik simply stated ahead. " I'm not doing this.", he said flatly. J simply smiled. "Of course you are, Erik. This is the night we've all been waiting for!", J said. Erik shook his head.

Crazy J's eyes quickly lit up. " I have a present for you. Be right back. Dont you go anywhere!", J told Erik, who simply sat there..Still staring into nothingness. Before you could say "fuck this shit", Crazy J came back through the curtain. A huge smiled was across his face. He handed Erik a bright red bag. "Open it! I want to see your face when you see what it is!", he said with glee.

ErikErik looked down at the bag. He slowly reached down and opened it. What he pulled out of that bag nearly blew his mind. Erik eyed a black top hat. Not a nice top hat either, but a ratty, old top hat that was covered his dust. The top of the hat was opened like a tuna can. He looked at J.

"Keep going! There's more!", J said, clearly excited. Erik sighed to himself and reached into the bag. He nearly gave up when he pulled out the last item. Erik held up what looked like a pair of assless chap. Upon further inspection, Erik's thoughts were confirmed. This was a pair of old, used, unwashed, black assless chaps.

He sighed to himself once more, obviously not wanting to actually put any of this on. "Go ahead! Try them on!", Crazy J said with conviction. Erik only shook his head. " You owe me big time. You know that, right?, Erik said flatly. J nodded.

Erik started to take his black slacks off but stopped. "You just gonna stand there staring at my dick?", he asked.

Crazy J turned around. Erik took off his suit. He then put on the chaps, feeling a breeze on his ass cheeks. He blew dust off of the hat and put it on. "Ok. How do I look?"

He didn't sound happy at all. Crazy J turned around and nodded. He then left. Erik stood there looking dumbfounded. "That's it it?", he said to himself.

Ringmaster Erik took the stage, trying hard not yo focus too much on the fact that his ass was Cold and the fake beard he wore was itchy. He silently sighed to himself as the spotlight hit his face.

"Our next performer is a freak the likes of which has never before been seen!", Ringmaster Erik started in a booming voice. "He casts a soul stealing shadow everywhere he goes! And his strength! Oh ladies and gentlemen, this man's strength has never been matched! Some say he's the son of Hercules himself! His strength has never been tested! Who knows how strong this man is?! Ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages! I present for your booing pleasure.....The colossal Grande ricardo s!"

Ringmaster Erik took a bow as the spotlight went away from him and began to shine on a cage behind him. The cage began to shake as two boney hands grabbed the bars, desperately trying to escape. "Roar!", yelled the man inside the cage as he continued to shake the cage and try to escape. It wasn't long before Ringmaster Erik, tip toeing and trying his best not to be seen by the crowd, unlocked the cage. He had to...that poor guy wouldn't have gotten out otherwise.

"Oh the horror!", Ringmaster Erik yelled on his booming voice as the door swung open. Out stepped a tall, skinny man. He was bald, toothless, and had the appearance of a heavy meth user. He roared loudly, stomping his way to the center stage. The crowd cheered loudly for this man.

"Behold! Watch as Colossal Ricardo breathes fire!", Ringmaster Erik's voice boomed through the speakers. Colossal Ricardo picked up a flaming sword. He opened his mouth. The crowd sat in stunned silence as Colossal Ricardo tried shoving the flaming sword down his throat. I saw tried. He couldn't do I. He gagged and coughed violently. This caused Ringmaster Erik to come back on stage. He swatted a right hand at Colossal Ricardo.

" I said breathe fire you idiot! Not eat it!", Ringmaster Erik said. He handed Colossal Ricardo a flaming club and a canister full of liquid. Colossal Ricardo looked confused. Ringmaster Erik motioned what he wanted the man to do. Colossal Ricardo put some of the liquid in his mouth. He went to spit it into the fire but breathed in, causing his mouth and face to erupt, singing his eyebrows off. Ringmaster Erik stood in awe. " He breathes fire, ladies and gentlemen.", Ringmaster Erik said in his booming voice.

The spotlight shone on Colossal Ricardo, he didn’t seem to like it. He kept covering his face. "And now, ladies and gentlement.. NOW We see what real strength is. Here is a man, who has never had his strength truly tested. Oh he's done some amazing things before! His true strength has never been realized!", Ringmaster Erik boomed, flailing his arms around as he spoke. "Watch closely. You'll be in awe of his tremendous strength!", He added.

There, next to the meth head Colossal Ricardo was a set of weights. Colossal Ricardo bent down, grabbed the weights, and....threw his back out. He doubled over in pain, shaking his head the entire time. He fell to his knees. Ringmaster Erik looked shocked.

"Someone must have glued these weights to the floor!", He said. Ringmaster Erik walked over to the weights. He kicked Colossal Ricardo out of the way and reached down. He picked up the weights with ease! They popped as he let them go. They were simply blow up weights the entire time. Ringmaster Erik looked around, still shocked. It could have been from the shock of how weak Colossal Ricardo was or the wind that was, at that time, blowing up his ass crack. Either way, he was shocked.

"Oh we are not done, Ladies and Gentleman!", He started. "Behold as Colossal Ricardo opens this...pickle jar!", He finished, holding up a large pickle jar. He motioned for Colossal Ricardo to get up, which he did. Ringmaster Erik handed him the jar. ColossalRicardo grabbed the jar and began to try twisting the top off. He strained hard. He strained harder. He shit his fucking pants from the strain.Ringmaster Erik's eyes began to water at the smell.

Ringmaster Erik quickly rushed over. He took off his hat and brought forth a butter knife. He tapped the edges to the pickle jar top. He motioned for Colossal Ricardo to continue. This time, Colossal ricardo was able to open the jar. Ringmaster Erik watched with amazement. The crowd booed loudly. Ringmaster Erik appeared to love it.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I think this man right here just might be the strongest man I've ever met. He opened that pickle jar with such ease! It was as if there were no lid at all!", Ringmaster Erik's voice boomed on the speakers. He motioned for applause for Colossal Ricardo. There was none. "Oh I'm afraid that our time with Colossal Ricardo must come to an end! Say goodnight, double C!", Ringmaster Erik said with a smile. He kicked Colossal Ricardo back to his cage and then threw the skinny, meth head looking man into the cage. He locked the door.

The spotlight began to shine on Ringmaster Erik once more. He grabbed the mic. "Sadly I must say goodbye. Our night with Colossal Ricardos has come to an end. He's shat himself and needs to clean up.", Ringmaster Erik said while taking a cry. He quickly smiled once more though. " Oh but our night is far from over. Oh no..Not at all. I give you Crazy J!", Erik walked off stage, showing his bare ass to the crowd. "You fucking owe me", he said as he passed the crazy one.

………

Erik sighed to himself as he turned off the television that sat at the far end of his office. Crazy J sat across from him. His face held a wide smile.

“Holy fuck, dawg! That shit was bomb!”, Crazy J said a little too loudly. Erik, himself, sighed and rubbed his temples.

“This isn’t going to work, J. You fucking added your own voice to say “Collosal Ricardo. We both know that was just a freak.”, Erik said in his emotionless voice.

Crazy J looked taken back a bit. “I though it would be a nice touch. Your voice is too straight, dawg.”, J said. Erik shook his head once more. “Im not even sure that Ricardo is the ass clown's name.”, Erik said as he tried to shake that experience from his thoughts.

While it wasn’t quite as traumatic as other things Erik had experienced in his leg, he still didnt like it.

“You don’t even know this fools name? Fucking hell!”, J said. He, himself, couldn’t believe that Erik wouldn’t even bother to know much about his opponent.

Erik shook his head.

“No. He’s a no skill j o b b e r. Why should I get to know him? His only place in this world is to give me another win under my belt.”, Erik said call just before he stood up from his seat.

Erik adjusted his charcoal grey suit and looked outside.

“It doesn’t matter what his name is, J. It doesn’t matter what he’s done in XWF or in his past. No. All that matters is that this man is in over his head.”, Erik said, looking out of the large window and into the dark Miami sky.

He looked over his shoulder to where Crazy J still sat. “We both know that as fact. You and me.”.

Crazy J nodded. He'd known Erik for over ten years. He’d always seen Erik as a man who was too serious about things. He often liked to fuck with the man and pull pranks, but most of all, he knew that Erik Black was a dangerous man. He’d seen Erik kill. He’d seen Erik with his back against the wall in some tough life or death times and Erik came out covered in the blood of his enemies.

“Im coming out of a long retirement. I’d accomplished everything I’d set out to do. My record? Nearly flawless. Oh I have losses. Everyone does. No one can win them all, but I can say this. To beat me, you have to taken yourself to a new level. You have to push yourself further than you ever have. Its no easy task. Not many can do it.”, Erik started as he looked out of the window.

Crazy J sat there and watched.

“I’d done it all. I’d won it all. I’d made money. There was nothing left for me to do….other than beat guys like my opponent senseless. To embarrass them…To show them exactly how terrible they actually are. That’s what I do best, J. You know it. I know it. This man can’t possibly compete with me. I’m far too skilled. I’m far too good. In that ring..I’m a god.”, Erik said flatly. “Its always been that way.”, he added as he turned to face Crazy J.

J nodded in agreement. “fuck, Erik. I’m just glad you always been on our side.”, Crazy J said.

Erik grinned. There was a time when he wasn’t. There was a time when Erik got a contract to take out his ZT brothers. He nearly did it, but ultimately ripped the contract in half.

“There is nothing my opponent can do to beat me. Even he knows it. By now opponents would have already spoken. They would have already came out to verbally defend themselves. My opponent is nowhere to be found. Perhaps he is hiding. Or perhaps he’s realized that he is, indeed, in over his head. It makes no difference to me. The end result will still be the same. I will walk away in victory..leaving this man to look on and wonder who it is in XWF who can hope to stop me.”, Erik ranted.

Crazy J got up from his seat. “Ill be watching"

. Erik nodded.

Scene fades

HEY LOOOK ARE ME I'S AND CUCKCOCK ALL DAYS DERRRRR HUH HUH HUH GKUG GLUG GIMME YOUR SPERM CELL!

My sig got edited to match my overly shitty behavior so now I can play tough guy asshole IC anywhere I go. Except at home where my mother will beat my o-ring to keep me in line.
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