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Saturday Night Savage - 11/11/2017
11-11-2017, 06:28 PM
Post: #1

[Image: MMIM1_Rv.png]

News: Interested in becoming an XWF Match Writer? Please contact any of the XWF GM's for more information!

Savage GM's - Dr. Milton Matthews and J.T. Washington
Live From Universal Studios - Hollywood, CA!

Jenny Myst and Miss Fortune
- vs -
Grande Ricardo and Finn Kuhn


Tig O' Bitties: This match is a tag team match, set for one fall. Introducing first, from Miami, Florida, Miss Fortune!!

Miss Fortune's theme music hits and she struts from behind the curtain, checking herself in her phone and taking selfies. She grins as she snaps pictures and walks completely down the ramp, up the steps, and underneath the bottom rope.

Just then the lights go dim. The strobes begin to hit pink and white. The crowd has a mixed reaction as the pre-surgery barbie shows up on the X-Tron.

And her partner, from Las Vegas, Nevada, she is the XWF Bombshell Champion............Jennnnnny Mysssssst

Jenny enters the arena when the Drums hit for the first time in her entrance music, Around the 20 second mark. She is usually taunting the fans or pretending to give high fives and the pulling away at the last moment with a sarcastic smirk and an eye roll. When she gets to the ring:
[Image: RUlZaSV.gif]

The two blondes slap five as the lights go dim again.

Tig O' Bitties: And introducing next, one half of their opponents, Grande Ricardo!

As My Dragon Pal and me plays, an Timothy Omundson's sweet voice drifts through the arena, Grande Ricardo walks down to the ring, calmly, and slides under the ropes.

And introducing last, he is the other half of the team, Finn Kuhn.......

No Mercy begins it's slow beginning, with all lights in the arena going out sans a lone spotlight at the stage. After a few seconds, Finn comes out with his head bowed, hands behind his back and a black hooded jacket being worn. Finn begins to slowly walk his way to the ring, the spotlight following him. As the song begins to say, "No Mercy..." for the first time, Finn kneels on one knee, hands going to the metal grate, and as the song revs up, Finn shoots up, removing his hood and runs into the ring. From there, Finn poses on the turnbuckle for the fans, and bounces on his feet as he prepares for the match.

The bell rings and Jenny steps into the ring, as does Finn. He is chomping at the bit to get after the woman he suspects to be the one who has been costing him matches as of late. Jenny smiles, giving him the "bring it on" symbol. As Finn approaches, she tags in Miss Fortune. Fortune seems shocked by this as Jenny steps through the ropes and tells Fortune to "get him". The blonde rookie looks a bit confused, but steps through the ring. Finn just shakes his head as the two circle.

Smart move from my girl Jennay there!

I think it was a cowardly move, personally.

You just don't understand the mind of a champion.......Audrey, you have much learning to do.

Finally the two lock up and Savage action is underway. Fortune shows a good burst of speed and slides behind Finn, locking her arm around his waist but he counters and arm drags her, dropping her on her but and wrenches the arms back. He pulls back and Fortune grimaces. She uses her flexibility to counter and spin out of it, driving a shoulder into Finn's mid section as Jenny slaps the turnbuckle with encouragement. She drives Finn back against the corner turnbuckle and hammers him with a few shoulders driven into the mid section.....but he quickly counters with a club to the back of the neck which brings her to one knee.

She seems a bit Dazed as he sits her up on the second turnbuckle and suplex's her back into the middle of the ring.

Wow! What a move there by Finn!

He looks at Jenny and points. She rolls her eyes.

He picks up Miss Fortune by the hair and tags in Grande, who goes to the top rope and jumps off, hitting a flying missle drop kick that sends Miss Fortune rolling under the bottom rope.

That is probably the best place for her to be right now!

So much for chemistry. Right now, Finn and Grande seem to be showing it, and not the other way around!

Jenny jumped off the apron as she picked up Fortune and the two huddled. It appeared that Jenny was giving her a pep talk of sorts. Fortune was nodding. The ref was at a 4 count. Jenny patted her on the back and Fortune rolled back into the ring. Grande went for a clothesline but Fortune ducked and rolled him up in a small package pin



Ricardo pops out of it but Fortune hits a standing drop kick which stumbles him back against the ropes and Jenny grabs him from the outside and puts him in a sleeper. The ref goes to break it up and doesn't see Fortune pull Myst's pepper spray out of her bra. They must have done the exchange while huddled. Finn, however, does see it. He enters the ring and goes to grab it from her. Jenny sees this and lets go of Ricardo who begins coughing. She runs towards Fortune and Finn, who are fighting for possession of the mace. She clothesline Finn from the blindeside and grabs the spray from him. The ref then takes it from her and she begins to stomp her feet.

Uh oh, the princess is throwin a fit here! Boo hoo!

That mace is part of her, he basically just took her soul!

He took her excuse.

The ref tosses it out of the ring, where it is picked up by a ringside assistant. Neither of the two women see Grande on the top rope, and he jumps off, hitting both with a cross-body and taking them down. He gets up and yells with an ethusiastic yell. He and Finn tag back in. Fortune is still the legal man.

He picks her up by the hair and plants her in the center of the ring with a DDT.



3----Fortune gets a shoulder up at the last second.

Finn smiles, making the inch sign with his fingers to Jenny, signaling that he was "that close". She rolls her eyes from the outside.

Finn lifts Fortune back up as Jenny gets on the apron. He whips her into the ropes. Jenny slaps Fortune on the back, tagging herself in. As Fortune bounces back, Finn hits a Huge Spinebuster on Fortune!

Jenny comes out of nowhere with a PINK PERFECTION on Finn.......but Grande kicks her in the side of the head. She rolls out of the ring and he bounces off the ropes with a massive leg drop.


That's BS! There HAS to be a replay. Review! Overturn this!

Ricardo hooks the leg.




Ricardo just pinned Miss Fortune!!! I don't believe it! Princess Myst is livid on the outside!

Finn points and smiles, saying she is next.

Tig O Bitties: Here are you winners, the team of Finn Kuhn and Grande Ricardo!

Winners: Finn Kuhn and Grande Ricardo

Has anyone here noticed that Jenny has yet to be pinned in any of these matches? She needs to find better partners and ASAP! The Queen can't keep having these losses on her record when she isn't the one losing!

Then she needs to do more to make sure she wins.

Such a political answer.

Jim Caedus
- vs -
Tommy Wish


The Camera rolls in with Caedus in the locker room, he was stretching until he heard a knock on the door. He opens it, and Tommy comes swinging at him with a chair to the head. He kept on hitting the chair, and he guts him and slams it on Jim’s back. Jim struggling to get out the locker room, as Tommy taunts Jim.

Huey D. Louie:Oh my fans, it looks like we aren’t going to see them duke it out in the ring folks!

Audrey Dinklage:This is what XWF is about, and it looks like Tommy is here on destroying Mr. 24/7 on this broadcast!

Tommy heads out the locker room, Jim regains his strength and grabs his briefcase and smacks it back of Tommy’s head. Tommy then staggers to the backstage, as Jim follows him with the same chair he used, and smacks Tommy in the back with it. Jim drops the chair, and grabs a rope and wraps it around Tommy’s throat to strangle him with it. The camera man pans close to Jim’s angered face, as Tommy was gasping for air.

Huey D. Louie: Never mess with Jim, you never know what he can do to you, would take him on in the bar?

Audrey Dinklage: Have my throat strangled by that man, hell no!

Tommy slowly gets to his feet, and thrusts Jim to the wall. He does this three times, until Jim lets go of the hold. Tommy then unwraps the rope, and wraps it around his right fist, and punches his face. Jim staggers towards the catering table, and Tommy punches him some more until he removed some few items and places his body on the table. He then punches his face, and he grabs a medium ladder and places it few feet away from the table. Tommy climbs to the top, and misses a splash at Jim who moved out of the way. Tommy crashed at the table, and Jim sees a time to pin him…

Huey D. Louie: Where’s the ref in all this mess?

Audrey Dinklage: He might be afraid he will get into this chaotic brawl between these mad men.

A ref emerges from out of nowhere to count the fall…




Tommy kicks at the nick of two, and Jim visibly annoyed, argues with the ref. Then Tommy get on his feet just to low blow Jim in the nads. Jim held his nads, as Tommy grabs Jim’s locks of hair and drags him to the gorilla position. He then slams Jim’s head on the table, he attempted to Irish Whip him to the monitors, but Jim reversed it and Tommy lands on the monitors. Then suddenly the screen went into static…

Audrey Dinklage: Sorry fans, I think there was some technical difficulties on the X-Tron.

Huey D. Louie: This match is SOO bad, that even the cameras don’t want to show it.

…Now, we see Jim punching and kicking Tommy at the ramp as Tommy staggers to the apron. Then Jim grabs Tommy places him in a bearhug, just to spear him on the apron of the ring. Tommy flinched at the pain, as Jim goes to the fans who he ended up getting a glass bong. Jim hits Tommy’s face that knocked him out. Then Jim taunts to the crowd.

Huey D. Louie: Good, Jim seems like he is in tune with these fans here tonight.

Audrey Dinklage: Well he isn’t 24/7 for nothing, he might as well end this…

Jim rolls into the ring, about five minutes later, Tommy is bleeding in the face. Tommy gets to his feet, and licks his blood. He then looks under the ring, and he pulls out trashcan full of weapons. He also pulls out a table which the fans mark out for.

Audrey Dinklage: What is in the mind of Clappa Trappa now?

Huey D. Louie: With him licking his blood, I sense he will give Mr. 24/7 some hell tonight.

Tommy tosses the trashcan in the ring, and the table. As the weapons spilled in the ring, Tommy quickly get into the ring and picks up a cylinder block and strikes him, then he strikes him with a piece of shard of glass, AND Tommy pulls out an electric guitar. He tunes it up, and strikes Jim in the head with it….and goes for a pin…



Jim kicksout, and Tommy then sets the table up in the middle. He lifts him up to his feet, but Jim pinches him in the gut and Irish whips him to the ropes, and he connects a WREXUS PLEXUS to Tommy. He kneels, and Jim lifts him up on his back and hits a sick KATABASIS on the TABLE!... Jim then goes for the pinfall…



It's over!!

We have a winner!

Winner - Jim Caedus

[Image: 8K9Z08s.png]
Bearded War Pig
- vs -
Chris Valerius

15 Minute Time Limit

Tig O' Bitties: The following match is our main event for the evening, scheduled for one fall with a FIFTEEN MINUTE time limit...and is for the X! W! F! TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!.

Huey D. Louie: Last week we saw the fall of Neville Sinclair, the longest reigning XWF TV Champ in quite some time and tonight, the newly crowned champ and founder of The Motherfuckers, Bearded War Pig, has his first title defense against "The Übermensch" Chris Valerius.

Audrey Dinklage: And speaking of...

Tig O'Bitties: Introducing first, the challenger! From Seattle, Washington...weighing in at 208 pooounds...THEEEEE ÜBERMENSCH...CHRRRRRRIS VALEEEEERIUS!!

Valerius walks out with a reusable water bottle, pausing on the stage. He glares into the crowd then walks, occasionally drinking from the bottle and splashing it on his face like you would spray a pet for misbehaving. Reaching the ring, he finishes the water and throws the bottle into the crowd as he rolls in. He sits down in a corner facing the entrance and hard camera.

Audrey Dinklage: An intense man, Valerius. Trained in various forms of martial arts; he takes on opponents almost as an MMA fighter would. A quick striker. Think he'll make a transitional champ out of War Pig, Hue'?

Laughs. Huey D. Louie: BDub's a Marine, Audrey, they undergo their own hand-to-hand combat training so I'm sure he can hold his own. Served him pretty well last week against the until then undefeated Neville Sinclair. Or weren't you paying attention young lady?

Audrey blushes at the compliment of "young lady".

Audrey Dinklage: Why thank you, Hue'.

Huey squints at her, craning his neck to peer at her from multiple angles.

Huey D. Louie: No, wait, my mistake. You're clearly much older than I am.

Audrey's blush intensifies to beet-red humiliation. Huey shrugs at her nonchalantly.

Huey D. Louie: It's the lighting. Why I mistook you for a young lady I me-

Audrey Dinklage: I GET it Mr. Louie, thank you. We've logged how many weeks in now together?

Huey continues to examine her, apparently slightly disgusted.

Huey D. Louie: Meh. I don't ever look at you.

Valerius's music ends.

The arena is moderately quiet when suddenly birds chirping the Star Spangled Banner begin to pierce the ears of everyone in attendance from the rafters above. This goes on for about fifteen to twenty seconds, then a brief moment of silence...




A crashing commotion startles some of the fans before the instrumentals to "B.M.F" by Upon a Burning Body erupts from the arena's surround sound system. Simultaneously Red, White, and Blue flames erupt down and then back up the rampway.

Tig O'Bitties: From Lake Station, Michigan...weighing in at 225 pooounds...he is the founder of The Motherfuckers and the X! W! F! TELEVISION CHAMPIOOOON...




The flames die down and "The Wild" Motherfucker, Bearded War Pig stands proud and invincible. His Boomstick resting on the right shoulder strap of his flack jacket that's covering his bare chest. Repetitively his weight shifts to the left and right his balls swing freely under his American Flag patterned silkies. Pig's thousand yard stare becomes a fierce warrior like grin as he points the barbwire buttstock end of his Boomstick toward the ring. Exploding like a well-stacked IED, BWP begins bouncing down the rampway with a shit-eating grin to the beat of his theme music. Sliding into the ring under the bottom ropes Pig quickly and powerfully charges to the nearest turnbuckle, hopping into the air both his ranger laced combat boots land firmly on the second turnbuckle. Pig's left foot rises to the top turnbuckle as he raises his Boomstick in the air with his right hand and his 'Boom' knucks with his left!

"Bearded! War! Pig!"

Begins to erupt from the majority of the people in attendance. Pig begins making harsh and violently disturbing remarks about his opponent, something similar to Stone Cold Steve Austin before climbing down off the turnbuckle. BWP then struts around the whole squared circle like a predator circling his prey. Stopping in his corner after making one complete lap Pig tosses his Boomstick outside the ring and begins stretching and cracking bones while waiting for the match to begin...

Huey D. Louie: Ask me again if I'm worried a little karate chop or two will topple the Bearded War Pig, Audrey.

Audrey Dinklage: Yeah, well, The Übermensch didn't seem all that impressed with Pig's entrance. He doesn't look to be intimidated in the slightest.

Huey D. Louie: We'll see how far that and a few crane kicks will get the Karate Kid.



Immediately the two stride confidently to the center of the ring, standing face to face, Valerius a mere inch shorter and around 20 pounds lighter but every bit as unafraid as a smirking BWP. In fact...

Valerius shoves him. Hard. Pig backpedals a few steps.

Audrey Dinklage: Whoa-ho-hooo.

Snickers. Huey D. Louie: Oh please.[red]

Pig adopts a look of "oooooooooo" and waggles both sets of fingers at Valerius in Wolfpack fashion. The fans ovate.

[red]Huey D. Louie: My thoughts exactly. Take it, Pig.

Valerius gazes around at the cheering fans, flips them off, then turns to Pig and flips him off as well.

Pig laughs and crotch chops.

The two suddenly hop-to and circle one another, arms up in combat stance.

Pig is the first to advance, cautiously, though dripping with confidence, and he makes a quick forward kick.

Valerius slaps it away.

Pig attempts a second.

Valerius slaps it away.

Pig pauses to waggle the fingers again, much to the joy of his fans. He then frowns a bit, gestures for Valerius to do something. "Come on you fuckin' emo twerp, let's get it on!" He raises his fists and approaches-

-Valerius suddenly darts in with a swift left side kick to the thigh, followed up with a second from the right-

Pig catches the right kick!!

Valerius hops up, placing his left foot on Pig's chest to VAULT OFF, FLIPPING BACKWARDS ONTO HIS FEET!!

Huey D. Louie: Uh...

Pig stumbles back a step off the force but charges forward on the flip, catching Valerius with a HARD clothesline as he lands!!

Huey D. Louie: There we g-

Valerius instantly swings his legs in propeller fashion, catching Pig in the ankle and dropping him to his side, to pop back up to his feet!!

Huey D. Louie: Sunuva-

Chris lands a stiff kick to Pig's gut before he can react, a stomp to the head, another kick to the gut, a second stomp to the head! He spins and moonsaults from a standing position then rolls back after impact to rise smoothly to his feet again!


Pig takes a second or two but he rises to his feet, shaking his head a bit, clutching at his gut. He looks to Chris, to the fans, to Chris...and nods, impressed. He walks forward, extending his left hand for a show of respect...

Valerius smacks his hand away!!

And Pig HAYMAKERS with his right, expecting the show of disdain!! Mika warns the champ as Valerius is rocked back into the ropes, eyes squinting in pain. Pig charges in-

Clothesline over the top rope!! Valerius tumbles to the outside!!

As BDub plays to the fans, Mika starts her count.



Valerius is already rising.


He hops atop the apron.


Then steps between the ropes to reenter the ring.


Huey D. Louie: Whaddya think of your Karate Kid now Audrey?

Audrey Dinklage: He's not my karate kid, Mr. Louie, but if he hasn't shown you AND War Pig he has some serious chops in the ring by now, I'm sure he has more to unveil.

Huey D. Louie: Uh huh.

Valerius spits blood to the side and once more adopts his combat stance. Pig merely charges in-

-absorbing a pepper of blows and kicks as he fights through and grabs Valerius around the waist for a-

HUGE over the head belly to belly suplex!!

Valerius lands on his back on impact and is less quick to rise but rise he does-

-JUST as Pig zooms in-

-and SLAMS Valerius to the mat with a T-BONE SUPLEX!!


Pig is quick to pull his opponent up to his feet and whip him to the corner, charging in yet again-

-with a hefty corner splash!! Valerius stumbles forward, Pig latches on yet AGAIN in close proximity to the corner-

GERMAN SUPLEX!!! Valerius hit his head and neck on the turnbuckle padding on the way down!!

Audrey Dinklage: Oh my God, he hit his neck on the turnbuckle! Did you see that?

Pig, relentless, once more forces Valerius to his feet, wobbly now, and slips his left arm up beneath Valerius's to rest his palm on the back of his head from behind...


As Valerius clutches at his head, BWP makes the cover and hooks the leg in the center of the ring!!






Winner and STILL XWF Television Champion:

Bearded War Pig

The fans are elated as Pig rises to raise his arms in victory. Mika meanwhile is speaking to Valerius, still lying on his back, clutching at his head again.

Audrey Dinklage: Yeah, something isn't right here, Chris is injured.

Huey D. Louie: I think you're right... Ha! And you thought BDub had someone to worry about in The Übermensch! The match didn't even last five minutes!

Audrey Dinklage: Mark my words, Huey, if Valerius hadn't hit his head he would've kicked out and he'd still be vying for that title. He's no one to dismiss, Chris Valerius is a dangerous man and he'll be back.

In the ring, Pig halts the celebration noticing Mika tending to Valerius. He walks over, kneeling.

Inaudibly the two combatants exchange words. Pig speaks to Mika who turns to the egress and the gorilla position beyond, urging someone to come down with her hand.

Moments later, EMS is rolling a stretcher down to the ring.

Huey D. Louie: Yep, Pig killed him.

Audrey Dinklage: That'll be quite enough of that, thank you!

Huey D. Louie: Oh for crying out- He'll be fine Audrey. Little visit to the XWF Wellness & Medical Center, they'll fix him right up. I'm sure it's nothing serious.

Pig aids EMS by holding the ropes apart for their entry after they leave the stretcher beside the apron. They attend to Valerius, asking him a few questions which he answers. Before long, one of the techs slides back out of the ring as BWP aids the other in carefully maneuvering Valerius to the side of the ring where the two techs slide him onto the stretcher.

The fans, no longer cheering but buzzing with chatter since it became apparent Chris sustained an injury, begin to liven up as Pig gestures towards his fallen opponent and begins to applaud. The fans follow suit.

Huey D. Louie: Look at the sportsmanship here. The brotherhood.

Audrey Dinklage: A lot more respectful than you've been. Take a hint, Hue'.

Huey D. Louie: Audrey, when your probationary period has ended, THEN you may speak to me in such a fashion. You're a lecture and a wrong word away from having to pay for those menopausal estrogen booster pills with...uh...well, some comically unpleasant alternate way, preferably in context with both anal and vaginal penetration, though I don't know WHO'D be desperate enough to John for you.

Audrey glares, stares daggers at Huey in silence for moments while EMS go about securing Valerius to the stretcher.

Audrey Dinklage: After my probationary period you say?

Huey D. Louie: IF then.

Quietly to herself. Audrey Dinklage: Yeah we'll see about that.

Huey D. Louie: You say something?

Audrey Dinklage: Nope.

The fans and BWP continue to show support for the injured Valerius while EMS cart him up the entrance ramp.

BWP's music hits as EMS and Valerius disappear through the curtains. He takes a few moments to celebrate his first title defense, thrusting the strap to the heavens, before slinging it over his shoulder and stepping through the ropes to make his exit.

[Image: ZPrmNMt.png]

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Sebasstian Dyke (11-11-2017)
11-11-2017, 06:30 PM
Post: #2

Where's that faggot Washington anyway?

Bitch owes me money. And head.

[Image: AoQnIJt.jpg]

[Image: JlTCiVS.jpg]

Forever Federweight Champ
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