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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
I don't have to listen to you, you're a lemon
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Grande Ricardo Offline
Tag team champ/ Mike the dragon



XWF FanBase:
Teens, some men, few kids

(cheered BECAUSE they break rules and bones)


#1
11-09-2017, 06:04 PM

This is stupid, I don't even like Finn Kuhn, but I guess I have to help him find a pet. But, man, fuck. He smells like moldy Tuna. Whatever, let's do this. Mike and I are ready, he's strapped tightly to my chest, which is awesome because he can wriggle around and lick my chin. His tongue tickles on the metal of my helmet. We're riding down the street on my Ducati bike, it's a Ducati but it says Honda on the side. It's okay, I bought this from a police auction, I think, it's not important. We're riding down the road, and it's a nice day out, tons of black clouds, and rain. There's even thunder, which makes it more fun. The road is nice and empty, which makes pulling up to the meeting place quick and easy. At least I think this is the meeting place. I pull out my phone and check my text messages. Sure enough, it looks about right. I pull up to the restaurant and head to the door, looking for Finn.

Some stupid face that's not Finn notices me and walks up to me, however he gives a slightly judgmental face once he sees Mike licking me.

"Umm... is that lizard... licking you? What the hell?"

"Are you really judging us, because he's still breastfeeding?"

That's right, my breast is exposed, and Mike is licking at it. Lizards need breast milk too, you know.

"I... I don't even think I want to get into this." The guy shakes his head and walks off, looking for Finn.

I sit down on a nearby bench, giggling as Mike continues to lick my breast. I reject a nearby waiter's offer to seat me, telling him I was waiting for someone. After a few minutes, Finn and that other guy come back.

"Uh... yeah... interesting character."

The guy leans in towards Finn. I can barely hear him whisper, "Are you sure this is your tag partner? He's a fucking weirdo."

"Sadly, yes."

Seeing Finn in front of me reminds me of his smell, which is moldy Tuna. I hate moldy Tuna. Upon seeing him, I immediately do the only natural thing. I try to shit, the farts coming out really loudly and really hard. Finn looks at me in utter disgust and confusion.

"What the hell are you trying to do?!"

"I'm trying to shit, duh."

"What the hell?! Go to the bathroom! Why do you want people seeing you shit?!"

"Because, your face is stupid and you smell like moldy Tuna."

"JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

"Whatever."

Some people notice our argument as more loud and smelly farts come out of my anus. I don't really care though, as Mike sucking on my breast feels good right now. I go into the bathroom and I start shitting. I hear two sets of footsteps coming to the door, and I hear Finn and that other guy talking.

"What a fucking weirdo."

"Tell me about it. I almost feel bad trash talking him earlier. This guy honestly needs help. The funny thing, though, is that our opponents are worse."

"You're shitting me. Er, pardon the pun."

"Man, I wish I was fucking with you. The new girl we're facing - Miss Fortune, I think - actually believed this guy's bullshit that him and the lizard are Tag Team Champions, despite clearly only holding the Federweight Championship and one of the fucking owners of the XWF holding one of the tag straps."

"Yeah, I take that back. They're fucking stupid."

Right on cue, I begin to projectile shoot brown liquidy shit right out of my tight little ass into the toilet. It's intense, and feels wonderful. A few eggs hit the toilet below me, and bounce from the toilet bowl right up to my ass. It feels incredible. I hear a knock. It's from Finn.

"Are- are you alright?"

"Yeah. My eggs just came out of my ass and into the toilet. Nothing major."

"What the fuck is WRONG with you?! Why do you keep eggs in your ass?"

"Don't you keep eggs in your anus for later?"

"NO! WHY WOULD I?!"

"For lunch. I can't eat them now, they hit the toilet."

"You're insane."

I wipe my ass with my federweight title, and flush the toilet, getting out of the bathroom. Mike is now wriggling back into my helmet, and I go to pet him. When I see Finn and the other guy again, I say:

"So, ready to go to the pet store?"

Finn sighs and facepalms, clearly exasperated. "No. Why the hell would I want to go to the pet store?"

"To get you a pet. Duh. Why else would I come and meet up with you?"

Finn grimaces and looks to the other guy, who shares his look back at him. "Well, you're clearly not in the mental state to train with me... fine. Just... whatever. We're going to the pet store. I have to text Mav."

Finn walks off, leaving me with his man servant. It's mostly silent between us, the other guy being uncomfortable with me. I let out another fart, and giggle. Mike comes out of my helmet and tries to lick the other guy, however he steps back away from Mike. Asshole.

Finn comes back, and with no food.

"Where the hell are my nachos?"

"You didn't ask for nachos!"

"Did too. That girl even told you to get them." I point over to Finn's fuckbuddy, who raises his hands and steps back again.

"Leave Jon out of this."

"Whatever. Let's go, Finn and Pat." The four of us walk outside of the restaurant. Finn and Nick are about to walk to their cars, though they notice me.

"Where's your car?" Finn asks me.

In response, I point over to my bike that I stole from my neighbor, it says Huffy on the side.

"Oh."

"You wanna ride?"

"No... no, thank you." Jamal sidesteps back over to Finn, away from me. They both go over to the car, and start it up. As they get ready to drive out, I take out my roll of duct tape and a rope. Because duct tape and a rope solves a lot of problems. Looking at you, Jenny Myst. I take my bike, the tape and the rope, get over to Finn's car, and duct tape my bike to his car, using the rope to tie them together. Sitting on the bike, I ride along as Finn and Frank take me to the pet shop.





"Hi, Jenny Moist, I hope you're excited to lose to me. I like winning, and I'm good at it. I mean, look at my record, undefeated, and the Universal Champion, clearly in the running for the WWE Cruiserweight champion as well. I'm bringing nachos to the match, and I will be jamming them in my warm ass to keep them fresh while I stomp your face. Why are you so moist?? Why is your name Moist? And why the fuck did you lose to Calypso? You literally lost to a man that Mike killed. How the fuck does that happen? Even Drezdin hasn't lost to Calypso, which somehow makes you less than Drezdin, which is kind of the lowest anyone has ever hit in this company. I know, I'm a little goofy, and a lotta fun and goofy, but at least I am better than Drezdin and Calypso. Sincerely, I don't know what it's like to be this bad at life.

And you, Miss Fortune, I am well aware of the meaning of your name, and the intended joke. However, it's rather fitting, since it's rather mis-fortunate that your gonna be staring down me once that bell rings. I will break your spleen, and use your kidneys to brush my teeth. Get the fuck out of my ring, you pile of dildos.

[Image: dKqz7Pz.jpg]
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Finn Kühn (11-09-2017)




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