Moments following the Leap of Faith pay-per-view.............

Calypso emerges from his locker room with his gym satchel over his shoulder, but no Federweight Championship. The look on his face says it all. He's a broken man. He continues, with the stone cold look on his face as people pass by pointing their eyes straight the ground as they pass....

He was embarrassed. He wishes he had brought his luchadore mask collection with him on this trip, because he could use a mask right now. He approaches the EXIT and shoves open the door to meet dozens of reporters and paparazzi waiting for him. He pulls his sunglasses out from his satchel and puts them on, protecting his beautiful eyes from the flashing cameras that blinded him like a bunch of firecrackers thrown into this face. He sighs and steps out into the masses.

"Calypso! Calypso!"

He pushes him self through the crowd of microphones, cassette recorders, and cellphones.

"Calypso! You're considered one of the greatest Federweight Champions of all time! After losing the title at Leap of Faith, what are you going to do now?"

"Calypso! There's others titles out there! Why don't you go for those?!"

"Calypso! Calypso! When making a gluten-free angel food cake, what flour do you recommend?!"

"White rice flour and tapioca flour. A quarter cup each."

He stops for a just a moment to answer a question as the paparazzi chases after the former Federweight Champion. He flees from the arena and into the back of a limousine. He leans out and looks up revealing his melting eyes before slamming the door on fifty-some cameras flashing and stealing his photograph.

"Get me out of here...."

The driver turns around.

"Who are you?"

---

---

---

One Week Later.

The studio audience applauds as the camera pans across them and the music plays.

"It's LIVE with Kelly & Ryan on October 23rd, 2017! Coming up, star of the new film Daddy's Home 2, Mel Gibson! Also, the return of the 'Trip to Nowhere', where a special audience member will win a one-way two-day stay to Somalia! Our co-hosts will also respond and answer questions sent in by you viewers at home when they open Kelly's Box! Plus thousands have entered.... One will win in the Target's '$1000 Sweepstake Super Shopper Wish List!' And special co-host..... Xtreme Wrestling Federation's..... Calypso! All on the October 23rd, 2017 edition of LIVE!!"



The audience continues to applaud as the stage lights up and the spotlight is set where Kelly and Calypso are going to make their entrance........

"And here they are.... Kelly Ripa & Calypso!"

The crowd goes crazy as Kelly & Calypso step out from the backstage area waving and smiling. She trots with her arm around Calypso's as they make their way center stage to the large desk placed there like every show. Calypso pulls the chair out for her and she has a seat and he takes one himself. After taking a few deep breaths and calms the crowd down, she smiles and rests her hands over her coffee cup.

"Good morning everyone! Hi! Hi! Thank-you!"

Kelly takes a quick sip from her coffee cup and places it back in front of her, making a goofy face.

"Wow, I needed that! It's Monday, October 23, 2017; welcome to the show, everybody!"

"Yes! Welcome!"



"Now, Ryan's not here today, obviously, so we have Calypso from the Xtreme Wrestling Federation joining us!"

The crowd applauses as Calypso stands up and gives a bow.

"So tell us a little bit about what it's like on the road as a professional wrestler. I bet you see a lot of exotic places and meet some incredible people."

Calypso sits back in his chair and humbly shrugs to himself.

"Oh I get around..."

Calypso gives a thumbs up to the camera.

"My career in the XWF is just starting to truly blossom, Kelly. I'm a five-time champion, I've wrestled Ghost Tank and won, and I've got one thing that a lot of the guys in there don't have anymore.... My health."

The audience responds with another applause. A modest wave of clapping makes Calypso humble again and he gives them a nod.

"A gluten-free diet and walking at least nine miles a week has kept me in the solid, ready-to-rumble-anytime shape that I've been in. A lot of the performers in the XWF do drugs, drink heavily, and just don't take care of themselves all-around. It's a shame. I just hope that now that I'm spending more and more time backstage that I will be able to lead by example and get a few guys on the train to a healthy lifestyle."

Kelly leans in, infatuated with the conversation.

"I would bet that the members of our audience and even folks at home could take some lessons on a healthier lifestyle, Calypso. It IS amazing with the traveling and the crazy performances that you put your body through that you can maintain such a lifestyle."

"You know Kelly, dedication is the key. You have to commit and you cannot quit. Even when you're booked twice a week, every week, and have to travel literally across the world to do it, you HAVE to stay with it. Cheating might be easy and give you a break, but anyone who cheats eventually loses in the end."

"Such wise words, Calypso. So, what are your plans now that your.... Federweight, is it?"

Calypso nods.

"Now that your Federweight Championship reign is over, what are you going to do?"



"Well, Kelly, it's actually pretty exciting. I had no real plans looking ahead, it was a tough loss at Leap of Faith, but as I've proven four-times before, I can always get that title back. Sid Feder would tip his cap knowing that such an athlete as myself has carried the title longer and harder than anyone else in the titles existence. But what's next for Calypso, you ask?"

He has a puzzled, goofy look about him, as if he was asking the crowd....

"I'm going after the Bombshell Title and Jenny Myst."

The audience applauds with excitement.

"Just as I was the best in the Federweight division, this week I'm taking on the Bombshell Champ, herself, and you know what? I ain't afraid of no ho. Can I say ho on TV?"

Kelly chuckles nervously.

"Only around Christmas.... Anyway..."

"My bad. The thing is, my Federweight division days are behind me for now. It's time to look onto bigger and better things, brighter horizons, and fatter paychecks. Beating Jenny Myst and winning the Bombshell Championship will not only prove that I'm not just limited to one division, but show how much of a bombshell Calypso is."

Aren't the women wrestlers considered 'Bombshells'?

"What is an identity, Kelly? In this day and age, there are no restrictions on to who is what and where they came from. Women wrestling boys, boys wrestling women. Girls in suits and men in cowboy boots. The lines are gone and everything is gray. I say let it be and let the choices be made within the heart of the person and not in the eyes of the observer. Labels? Puh-leaze."

Calypso waves his hands in the air like a fairy.

"Jenny Myst is all about the labels. She's probably sitting in her condo staring at herself in the mirror naked..... That's what I'd be doing anyway."

The crowd laughs aloud uncomfortably with Calypso.

".... Anticipating what myself with Louis Pryce are going to bring to the table for her to muncha on. You want something to nibble on, Jenny? How about one of these vanilla cream cheese danishes I prepared before the show? And look! I used pink frosting! It's PINK PERFECTION! Just like you!"

The audience ooh's and ahhh's at Calypso's creation as he produces a small tray of them from under the desk.

"But seriously, why would anyone be calling you a 'whore' and make references about how trampy you are? You've been glued to Chris Chaos's hip since the second you walked in the door and have only recently started even appearing without being by his side. I think you're pretty committed to the relationship you're in and highly doubt you've ever strayed. I could be wrong! But Calypso ain't one to make assumptions around here. I just calls 'em likes I see's 'em, ya know, Kelly?"

Kelly smiles and nods.

"It sounded to me that Jenny needs to give you a little bit of slack, Calypso."

"I know right! She's damn cruel! How could she just dump on all of the amazing things that I've done in the XWF? It's not like she's up to HER ears in accomplishments. She lost in her first match for the Bombshell Title to Abigail and I thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown. All she talked about for weeks was how the entire division was made just for her and how special being the first champion was going to be. Dreams shattered, game-over, start over. Now that you ARE the champ, there's no division! You said it yourself, Michelle bailed, Abby hasn't been seen since she won the title, the Sugay's are MIA.... Who's left?"

Calypso smiles and turns to each camera. The production crew switches to each camera that Calypso focuses on then back to him and Kelly.

"Oh that's right. Calypso is left. And he's coming for ya bay-bay. That goofy "brother" that we have in the other corner in this match isn't the dude I'd be worried about taking you down. It's this guy here. The guy that took down Ghost Tank. The guy that it took seven other men to take out to finally lose the Federweight Championship. And I wasn't crying, my contacts were all messed up that night and I was having an allergic reaction to Tig's perfume. I didn't pee my pants either, so don't even mention it."

A picture of Calypso being helped away from the ring goes up behind them and the crowd and Kelly all laugh. Calypso looks behind him at the monitor and back to the crowd. He looks embarrassed.

"That was a big night for me, you know. It showed how much of the threat everyone perceived me as and the need to get rid of me THAT quick."

"Sure, sure! Did you keep the pants or throw them out?"

"Um, that was $900 spandex, Kelly. I'm lucky to get the sweat stains out of the crotch when I'm done. Of course, I threw them out."

"$900?! Wow, that sounds like an expensive hobby, Calypso."

"Not a hobby, bay-bay. It's a lifetstyle."

"Well, I think it's time for our next segment. Are you ready Calypso?"

The camera pans over to where Calypso was sitting and he's not there. He is ducked down behind the desk looking for something.

"It's time to check the mail and see what's inside my box!"

Kelly pulls a big box shaped like a mailbox out from behind the desk and sets it down in front of them. Calypso rises back up with a napkin tucked into the collar of his shirt like a bib. He looks at the box and gets wide-eyed as the audience murmurs to themselves.

"Oh. You meant MAILbox..."

Kelly just stares over at Calypso.

"Inappropriate?"

"A little."

Kelly shows the amount using her thumb and index finger, pinching them very close together.

"My bad."

Calypso pulls the napkin out from his collar and folds it up.

"We're ready for our first letter, would you like to do the honors?"

"Man, I wish you were talking about the box I was."

"Okay, I will."

Kelly pulls the first letter out from the box and opens it.

"'Dear Kelly and... Calypso.'"

Calypso motions to himself and winks.

"'I have new neighbors. We have a very tight knit neighborhood and it is not uncommon for a lot of us to meet and greet the new residents with goodies or just invites over gab.' Well that's nice! Ahem.. 'But these new neighbors seem a little.... Different.'"

"Ruh-roh!"



Calypso says with his best Scooby-Doo impression.

"'Before I go on, let me just point out that we are very open to new ideas, different ethnicities and cultures, none of that stuff matters to us in our small town.'"

"I like where this is going."

"'There's two men. The one is an elderly small person and the other is a young colored man. They act very strange and are mostly active at night. Some of us believe they are together as a couple. Like I said, all of this stuff is fine, but it is their behavior that concerns me.'"

Kelly looks up to the crowd and takes a gulp.

"'The one morning I went outside and I seen the older man completely naked.... relieving himself in the front yard. And not just taking a leak into a bush.... He was squatted down and the rest kind of answers itself.'"

"When you gotta go you gotta go!"

"Gross. 'That's only the start of it. I mentioned how we have suspicions about their relationship. The only reason it seems to cause a problem is because they vocally and vulgarly take their arguments outside to the streets in the middle of the night. And the arguments are very sexual. We have children in the neighborhood and while these incidents do take place at night, they're loud enough to where you can hear them in doors. We didn't want to resort to calling the police because while their arguments seem a little out of hand, they never get violent. The reason I'm writing today is to ask what you think we should do as a community to bring these two gentlemen in and give them a chance to be part of it and not .... THAT. Bonnie The Concerned Neighbor from Connecticut.'"

"That sounds like a hate crime waiting to happen, Kelly."

"Why? Bonnie seems very concerned with the situation and wants them involved with the community and not defecating out in the front yard."

"Bonnie needs to learn to respect people's space, ya know?"

"The man was doing his business out in the front yard, Calypso. How can she respect that?"

"It's only natural. We are, afterall, just a bunch of animals. Nickelback quote, boo-ya. But not to only are they homos, but one's a bro and the others a midget. Those are boundaries some white ho from Connecticut needs to recognize."

"Okay, weeeeell, I think we need to go to a commercial break here."

"It's like I said about labels. Jenny Myst wants to smack them around, throw them at Calypso like a princess throws a tizzy? So be it, but it'll end up biting her in her doughy, scrumptious, felumtious----"

"AND WHEN WE COME BACK.... We'll be visited by none other than... Mel Gibson! Stay tuned!!"

The audience applauds as Kelly cuts Calypso off and the camera pans around heading into the commercial-break.