Grande Ricardo is doing some landscaping or some shit when ol' Nate Higgers backs over him with his Ford F-350, pinning him to the ground just inches below a giant Trump/Pence bumper sticker.

"Aw damn! I dun ran'd over a pile of brown shit! HEY BOY! You best not be bleedin' all up in my wheel well y'hear? I ain't tryin' to get no Hispaniola AIDS from your rapist border hoppin' ass! And you BEST not think you can drag your dyin' ass to the hospital and let MY tax dollars pay for YOUR illegal medical coverage. YOU NEED TO CRAWL YOURSELF BACK DOWN TO CHIHUAHUA AND DIE IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY!"

Nate turn on his truck radio and wouldn't you know it? The National Anthem is playing (he has it on tape). After Nat sits with his hand over his heart and a tear in his eye for a few seconds, he catches Ricardo in his rear view still lying there dying.

"Oh HELL no! Son, are you disrespecting THE GOT DAMN TROOPS by takin' a knee durin' this anthem? Oh now you done pissed me off, boy!"

Nate hits the gas and the truck backs over Ricardo, finally settling with his front wheels now on top of the bleeding Dreamer.




1...



2...

PIN

Grande Ricardo kicks out, and pulls an American Flag out of his pocket.

"Damn, son. I'm a vet. I was in Iraq back in 2010. You're disrespecting the vets by attacking me like that. And you ran over the flag. How fucking stupid are you, brother? Your white trash ass sitting there trying to judge me, because you think I'm hispanic, and disrespecting the vets. What are you gonna do now? Me and my life partner, Mike, met over there, and now we're happily living together. Mike is a dragon, so you know his parents don't really appreciate him living with a human. But, that's ok. Anyway, you hillbilly limp dick, you wanna keep this up?

Wanna try and talk some more of your incest mumbo jumbo? Maybe you should go be offended at Bethesda killing nazis, and taking down civil war statues or whatever it is you guys do these days. I can't keep up, too much better stuff on Netflix. Hey, lemme ask you something while I have your attention, and you're obviously so butthurt by my being here, what's it like to be offended by literally everything in the world? When you turn on the TV and watch fucking Disney Junior, because that's the only channel you can understand, how hard do you rage at Doc McStuffins? What about Bubble Guppies, does it piss you off because they're underwater and not standing for the Flag? Or, do you have a conniption fit Lazy Town comes on, because they're not Americans?

I am just trying to figure out how to avoid offending your delicate sensibilities, you Mr. Glass motherfucker. Really, help me help you. How can we all walk around on eggshells to avoid making you piss yourself and cry? Because, clearly you're offended by people who aren't white existing, and you're not happy with people using their first amendment rights, or women being out of the kitchen, or literally anything besides white men gagging on the military's dick, which is actually pretty gay. You're gay for the military! Holy shit, I've figure it out. That's why you're always mad at something, because you're mad that you can't come out without being kicked out of the club. Holy fuck, it all makes sense suddenly. You're not just an easily offended crybaby racist, whose mom and dad were brother and sister, you're a closeted homosexual crybaby easily offended racist piece of shit, whose mom and dad were brother and sister. Just let it out, boo. No one will judge you for who you love, you piece of trailer trash shit. Go back home and gag on your uncledad's dick, and let it all out. Make like you were a kid again, he won't think anything's up."

Ricardo begins to wave the flag, since there's not really a wind to wave it for him.

"You cornbread cockface, you.."

Poor Nate. Born into a world that had already passed him by...

Winner and STILL Federweight Champion - Grande Ricardo