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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Savage Results
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Savage Saturday night 10/21/17
Author Message
Arnold “Chubby” Fletcher Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#1
10-22-2017, 09:38 AM

LIVE EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT!




FROM STUDIO 7 - UNIVERSAL STUDIOS - HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA


Xtreme Wrestling Federation Presents:








Savage comes on the air and we see the ring, with a giant table in the middle that is packed with teddy bears, trophies, year books, yo-yo's, various photos. You name it. It looked like a table for a childs birthday party. All of these items sat on a purple valore sheet.

The camera circles the ring before cutting to the NEW Savage announce team.

[Image: odBUz8f.jpg]


Huey D. Louie: Welcome back to Saturday Night Savage! The first show after the epic Leap of Faith Pay Per View, and we are back at Studio 7 in the City of Angels! We are in for a jam packed show tonight! Sitting with me is broadcasting legend Audrey Dinklage!

Audrey Dinklage: Yes sir, I am, and excited to be here! Let's call some wrestling matches, Huey!-----"

Just then, the lights went dark in the arena, and the crowd buzzed. Was this the coronation that was promised?

Huey D. Louie: Is this really how we are going to start Savage tonight? Jenny promised it was going to happen.

Audrey Dinklage: Personally, I think it is great to have a strong woman on my show. Jenny personifies everything that this program is!

Huey D. Louie: God, I never thought I'd miss Jim Ross.....

The lights on the stage flash pink and white. The pre-surgery barbie shows up on the X-Tron as Sex Metal Barbie hits.



Jenny walks out onto the ramp, the Bombshell Title that she won from Miss Michelle around her waist. He bends and rotates, blowing a kiss, as usual, before smugly walking to the ring.

She pretends to slap hands with some fans, and pulls back at the last second with a sarcastic grin. Walking down the ring and up the steps, she gets into the ring and poses with the belt.

Huey D. Louie: I am surprised she wasn't carried to the ring on a throne, Audrey! She claims to be a Queen!

Audrey Dinlage: She had one backstage, I'm told, but JT had all the people she brought in to carry it escorted from the building! Talk about a rocky start to this coronation, Huey!

Jenny gets into the ring and snatches a microphone from a ringside assistant.

[b]"Umm.....excuse me, but, what kind of greeting was this for a Queen? No wonder this show is on the fritz. We are gonna do this the right way...."

She walks to the side of the ring, looking over the ropes.

"Tigs.....ohhhhh Tigs, get in here!"

Tig O' Bitties looks around, then points to herself.

"Uhh....duh....the overpaid bimbo with the microphone....."

Tigs gets up off the chair and enters the ring.

"It's bad enough JT's cheap ass is already making this glorious event cut-rate, just like his show, but I am at LEAST going to get a proper introduction......"

Tigs looks at her confused.

"Come on now....do your job.......I don't have all night...."

She looks disdainfully at Jenny, before bringing the mic to her lips.

Tig O' Bitties: "Ladies and Gentlemen.....let me introduce to you your NEW XWF BOMBSHELL CHAMPION.....JENNY MYST!"

Jenny throws her arms up in the air with another smug look.

"Okay Tigs, that'll do, go back to doing nothing over there....."

She shoos her away.

Jenny brings the mic back to her mouth as the crowd boos.

"Welcome everyone to the coronation ceremony of your NEW BOMBSHELL CHAMPION and the top woman on this roster, moi!!"

She points to the Savage logo on the X-Tron.

[Image: mzSds5Q.jpg]

"If you look around you will notice that something is missing......"

She bites her lip angrily, but continues.

"The XWF women's roster was supposed to be out here, ushering me into the ring and paying their respects to their new fearless leader......but they are nowhere to be found, are they?"

Huey D. Louie: Is anyone surprised?

Audrey Dinklage: They should be ashamed of themselves!

Huey D. Louie: She's a raging bitch, but boy she's hot though!

".....but maybe they wanted an introduction also....and I am a generous Queen. So....let me introduce to you all to the rest of the division.....make some noise for the XWF Women's Division!"

She made an ushering motion towards the ramp, but nothing happened.

She waits another few seconds........the crowd begins to chuckle a little......

"Errr....uhh....perhaps they want an even better introduction. Okay....."

*clears throat*

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE XWF'S HOTTEST BITCHES, AND THATS NOT SAYING MUCH.........THE WOMEN'S DIVISION!"

She has a big smile on her face, obviously fake.

Again, nothing happens.

Jenny bites her lip and screws her face up in obvious displeasure.

[Image: Af2RrkY.gif]

"Okay....okay, fine. I figured this would happen, bunch of disrespectful thots. Good thing that I have my own little women's division right here....."

She turns around and faces the table.

"We have a more adequate women's division right here....."

She lines up three of the colored Teddy Bears.

"Lookie here! We have Abiail. Miss Michelle and Kennedy Robinson"

She waves at them.

"So glad you ladies could make it! You're quiet tonight---shocker. Whats the matter, shy in the face of perfection?"

Huey D. Louie: She has a point, Audrey.

Audrey Dinklage: She may be losing her mind here......I think nobody coming out and kissing her ass made her snap.

Huey D. Louie: I wonder if she's still wearing the underwear from Leap of Faith.

Audrey Dinklage: Stop it.

Jenny flicks each bear, knocking them over on their backs and saying "1-2-3" in order as each one falls.

"I haven't faced Kennedy yet, but we will just go ahead and assume that I'm better....kay? Kay."

She has another fake sarcastic smile.

"Oh look, here is Isabella! Hayyy gurlll!"

She dunks a small plastic wand and blows bubbles.....then waves at the as they float away.

"Leaving so soon....aww. Hehehehehe"

She is getting a lot of enjoyment out of this.

"And oh look.....a yearbook. It says here that the Sugay's are the queens of the candid photos.....lets see here........best fake smiles, best masking of wrestling skills, most likely to end up golddigging the top talent here....oh, one already has! Ohh...here is one I like......Most likely to lose to Jenny Myst!"

She smiles and holds the book to her heart, sarcastically looking flattered.

She then ripes the page out of the book and rips it to shreds in a huff, grinning then throwing the book down.

Audrey Dinklage: Yep, she's lost it, folks

"Who does that leave us with? Oh yes.......Mad---"

Just then.



Mercy's music hits, and Madison Dyson and her creature step out from behind the curatin. Jenny rolls her eyes.

Madison has a microphone.

"Stop this, stop this right now! Is this really what we want to kick off a show we are trying to build up? A dolled up paper champion who has her head so far in the clouds she can see the rain? This is completely lame...."

"Look who decided to show up. Madison Dyson everyone! The woman who delayed the inevitable!"

"Shut up. You sniveling little gutter rat! I will admit, I saw a spark in you one time. I saw a little ball of light that could bring this division to the top.......you were, at one point, the best of a bad situation, the lesser of two evils."

"And now I'm champion."

"Because I allowed you to be. Your a resilient little one, I'll give you that. But you haven't even begun to feel real pain yet."

Jenny looks at her with her head cocked.

"Lets do the math, toots. Michelle showed us exactly who Abigail was. And then Mercy here, she showed us all who Michelle actually is."

Mercy cracks her knuckles while staring a hole through Jenny.

"I let you coast to that title......I weakened Michelle for you. Mercy and I are beating up women around here, and you are pulling off tops to win titles. You're nothing, Jenny, and you've always been nothing. You see, I scouted you. I played you like a fiddle. You showed us a side of you that isn't real against me way back on Warfare. And now....Mercy is going to show us all who you truly are....."

Madison pulls handcuffs out of her pocket and swings them, laughing.

Huey D. Louie: Oh my god! Madison has the handcuffs! She is going to try to decimate Jenny like she did to Michelle a few weeks ago!

Audrey Dinklage: Doesn't look good for our Bombshell Champion here, Huey!

"Now the world will get to watch Jenny whine, cry, scream......beg........"

Madison and Mercy make their way towards the ring. Jenny drops the belt off her waist and puts her hands up, prepped for the fight.

"As Mercy is beating some sense into you....just know, you brought this on yourself....."

Mercy climbs up on the apron and attempts to step through the ropes as the crowd cheers!

It's Jaslene Sugay! She came through the crowd! She jumps Jenny from behind and begins to hammer shots down on her. Jenny fights back, but when she gets whipped into the ropes Mercy clubs her in the back of the head. Jenny stumbles forward and Jaslene catches her......

SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE!

The table breaks in half and Jenny is down and out! Madison laughs as Mercy jumps off the apron and the two back up the ramp as the ref comes running down the ramp.





Jenny Myst
- vs -
Jaslene Sugay
Standard match
2500 word limit



The ref slides into the ring as Jaslene tries to get him to hurry up. She immediately slides down and hooks the leg.

Huey D. Louie: Jaslene is going to steal one here! Talk about mind games!

The ref counts.





1!































2!


























3-----Jenny kicks out!


Jaslene cant believe it and begins to tell the ref he needs to count quicker!

She re hooks the leg.












1!




































2---Jenny gets a shoulder up.


Jaslene slaps the table covered mat.

Jaslene goes to pick up Jenny by the hair but the Bombshell Champ gets a thumb to the eye to stumble Jaslene back and buy herself some time.

Jenny rolls off the fractured table and Jaslene comes back with the stomps and hard rib kicks. Jenny finally rolls out of the ring and to the mat below.....she keeps a watchful eye to the ramp, but Madison and Mercy have disappeared.

Jaslene stays on the offense, though, and propels herself from the middle rope and launches herself at Jenny. The Bombshell Champion moves at the last second, however, and Jaslene crashes into the barricade on the outside. Both women are slow to get moving.

Myst gets up first and rolls into the ring. Jaslene isn't far behind. She stands up and gets a huge SLAP from Myst. It backs her up and Jenny grabs an arm and whips her into the corner. Myst charges, but Jaslene gets an elbow up and knocks her back. Using the ropes as leverage, she puts both feet into the chest of Myst and takes her down. Coming off the rope she hits a big leg drop.

Cover.


1





2


Myst kicks out.

Jaslene smiles, she knew she tried to steal one there.

Huey D. Louie: Jaslene seems to be in control here. She caught Myst off guard with the pre match attack and its been a Sugay since!

Audrey Dinklage: She seems to be handling the pressure of this match very well, yes.

She picks Myst up by the hair and Jenny quickly goes for a kick to the head. Jaslene catches her leg! Jenny brings the other leg around.......enziguri!!!!


Jaslene holds her head and gimps to the corner. Jenny runs and splashes her, but Jaslene ducks and goes for the roll up.

Jenny pops out quick as the two girls stare daggers at each other, neither one able to get the upper hand.

The two girls charge at each other and meet in the middle, exhanging blows before Jaslene whips Jenny into the ropes, Myst ducks the clothesline and on the rebound hits a flying forearm to take Jaslene down!

Myst is wincing but still quick. She steps on Jaslene's hair and pulls her arms, putting torque on it as she pulls up. Jaslene screams out as the ref counts to 4.5 before she lets go. As soon as she breaks the hold, she does it again until almost a 5 count. When she breaks it the second time, she kicks Jaslene in the head and then throws her arms up as the crowd boos. She has a smug look on her face, despite wincing in obvious discomfort. She turns around and Jaslene is on her knees. Jenny grabs her by the hair again and Jaslene begins to elbow the blonde in the gut to break the hold but Jenny laughs and slams her face first down on the mat.

Jenny is smug now, kicking Jaslene softly and moving her head around with her foot. She puts a couple well placed ones to the back of her skull.

The camera cuts to Tala, watching from the back, and biting her nails.

Jenny then looks to the top rope.......and she smiles. She climbs the top rope.......she signals the belt sign and yells that she is the champion and jumps.








JASLENE CATCHES HER MID AIR!

















SPIKE DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





JENNY IS OUT FLAT!





Jaslene crawls over to the cover and hooks the leg.




1!






















2!



































3-----------MYST GETS A SHOULDER UP!


Audrey: High risk-high reward almost cost the champ there!

Huey D. Louie: We don't see Myst up there much, maybe she is over confident

Jaslene is visibly frustrated now. What does she have to do to put Myst away?!

She picks up Jenny by the hair. She wrenches her arms behind her back. Jenny begins to wiggle......finally able to wiggle out. The two were locked, facing each other.




PINK PERFECTION!!!!!!


Audrey Dinklage: My goodness! The Twist of Fate of out nowhere!

Huey D. Louie: She calls that move Pink Perfection, but I am impressed with your move knowledge!


Jenny covers.




1



























2


































3!


Winner: Jenny Myst



Just then Madison and Mercy step back out on the stage. Jenny snatches her belt from Tigs and enters the ring. The two stare each other down as Madison begins to slow clap. Jenny holds her belt up with her pissed smirk as Savage cuts to commercial.



Chris Chaos
- vs -
Mystery Competitor
Falls Count Anywhere
2500 Word Limit




Savage cuts back to Studio 7, where the lights go dark yet again. In big blue letters across the X-Tron the words "FOLLOW ME" come up, as the smoke begins to encompass the entrance way.



Tig O' Bitties: This next match is schedueled for one fall. Introducing first, from Clearwater Beach Florida, Chris Chaoooosssss!

Chaos steps through the mist with his long trench coat on. He looks around, obviously a little anxious. He walks to the ring and about halfway down the ramp, runs and slides under the bottom rope. Popping up, he throws his arms up as the crowd has a mixed reaction towards him. He walks over to Tigs and grabs a microphone.

Chaos: So the buildup all week long has been quite the little ratings getter, hasn't it? You all are on the edge of your seats. Well, bring this Mystery Competitor out, and let me beat his ass around the ring.

The crowd turns towards the X-Tron as the screen goes blank. The lights stay on, as three men walk to the entrance, all in robes and hoods. They stand side by side by side.

Chaos: Funny. Real cute. I know one of you is Micheal Graves! You aren't fooling anyone, old man! Come to this ring and let me finish what I started!

The three men continue to stand there.

Audrey Dinklage: Not gonna lie, this is a bit creepy Huey!

Huey D. Louie: It's Halloween time, Audrey! I would be foolish not to expect some shenanigans!

The three men nod to each other, and all three begin to walk to the ring. Chaos braces himself, giving them the "come on" hand gesture.

Two of the men slide into the ring, and circle Chaos. One walks up the steps.

Chaos doesn't waste any time, and he spears one of the men, damn near breaking him in half. He begins to hammer on the man when the other masked man jumps on his back, piggy back style, and Chaos gets up. A back body drop on him. The masked man gets up quick and Chaos bounces off the ropes and damn near kills him with another spear.

Pulling the mask off the first speared man, he is just some nobody. The third man watches from the steps as he walks over and pulls the hood and mask off the second speared man. Again, a nobody......

Chaos then grins, looking at the third man. He gestures for the third man to get into the ring. But, as the crowd boos, he steps off the stairs. The hooded man shakes his head and points to the ramp, where three more identical hooded men begin to walk down the ramp. Chaos braces again for a fight. The first two men are beginning to stir. Chaos braces again as the original men blends into the formation of the new three, and all four circle the ring. After walking around, taunting him, the four charge the ring.

Chaos takes on all comers with rights and lefts, knocking the men down. He bounces off the ropes and spears one of them. The other three men pounce, backing him into the corner. He tries to fight out of it, but the numbers game gets the best of him. The men tie Chris Chaos's arms up in the ropes, as one of the hooded men approaches. Chaos yells some obsenities at him. The man gets right down in his face and removes his hood. He is a nobody. Some guy that nobody recognizes. He begins to laugh, as do the other men. Chaos looks both pissed and confused. Just then, one of the hooded men pulls his hood down.

It's Micheal Graves! He begins hammering away on Chaos as the other men leave the ring, surrounding it. The bell rings, and the ref slides in. Chaos's arms unlock from the ropes, and he rolls towards the middle of the ring as Graves stomps on him a few times.

He picks up Chaos, who elbows him in the face and spins him around, whipping him into the ropes. But Graves is a man posessed and runs out of the corner and flattens Chaos with a clothesline.

Graves doesn't take any time to gloat, however. He is all business. He lifts Chaos up by his blonde maine and tosses him to the corner before running and connecting with a clubbing forearm. Chaos slumps. Graves puts a boot on his throat and presses down for a 4 count. He yells at Chris, something about getting what is coming to him. He does this twice more before lifting Chaos back up and standing him in the corner.

CHOP!







CHOP!











CHOP!








CHOP!



Each one coming with a "OOoohhh" from the crowd.

He goes for another Chop and Chaos grabs his arm, spinning him back into the turnbuckle. He begins to chop Graves.


CHOP!









CHOP!









CHOP!










CHOP!



Chaos arm drags Graves to the middle of the ring, and grabs his arms and pulls them back, putting a knee into the small of his back. Pulling back on the arms, he has a crazed look on his face as the hooded men start to pound on the ring apron. Chaos continued to wrench the arms back.

Audrey Dinklage: Chris Chaos is really punishing Micheal Graves here.

Huey D. Louie: Get used to it, Audrey. He does this with everyone.

Graves begins to get a little momentum, twisting to try to break the hold. Chaos can't believe it. Graves is powering his way out! Chaos releases the hold and jumps to his feet. Graves quickly gets to his as well as both men face each other with their guards up.

Audrey Dinklage: These men have only faced each other in the ring once before. It was a brutal match for the Universal title last March.

Huey D. Louie: Yeah, Micheal Graves came up short that night, just like he's going to tonight!

Chaos then strikes, catching Graves with a quick left to the side of the head and then a right to the body. Pushing him away, Graves then takes a swing at Chaos but misses as he ducks underneath his punch passing overhead. Laying into Graves with lefts and rights to the body, Chaos begins backing him up across the ring. As Graves’s back touches the ropes, Graves lunges forward and grabs a hold of Chaos. Lifting him off his feet, Graves then throws him up and over the top rope, sending him crashing hard to the outside floor.

Audrey Dinklage: The action just split over to the outside!

Climbing through the ropes, Graves is slow to get to the apron, giving Chaos plenty of time to get back to his feet. Rushing over to Graves, Chaos lunges for his legs, only to catch a boot to the face as Graves kicks him with his right foot. Jumping down from the apron, Graves hits Chaos with a double axehandle, knocking him backwards and into the nearby steel barricade at ringside.






One!





Rushing forward, Graves takes a mighty swing for Chaos’ head. Ducking at the last split second, Chaos avoids the fatal blow before throwing Graves into the barricade, flipping him up and over it upon impact.






Two!






As Graves slowly pushes himself up, surrounded by fans in the front, Chaos grabs a nearby chair at ringside. Folding it up, he then hops over the barricade and closes in on Graves.




Three!





With Graves up to one knee, Chaos draws the chair back, but one of the druids grabs the chair and yanks it out of Chris’s hands! Chris looks back, shocked, giving Graves enough time to recover and land a low blow. Chaos doubles over and Graves grabs him by the hair and throws him back over the barricade to ringside.




Four!






The druids then unfold the chair and place it in an upright position. They grab ahold of Chaos, and force him to sit down before while Graves readies himself.





Five!





Rushing forward, the kicks his foot up from the floor, driving it into Chaos’ face with a running big boot and sending him and the chair falling backwards to the floor.

Audrey Dinklage: These fans are getting their money’s worth tonight!






Six!




Graves pulls Chaos to his feet and guides him to the ring. He rolls Chaos in under the ropes and slides in right behind of him. Graves immediately hooks the leg for a quick pin attempt.





One!





















Two!
























KICKOUT!



Kicking both legs out as hard as he can, Chaos knocks Graves away, breaking the pin attempt. Both men then race to their feet, Graves standing first. Lunging forward with a roundhouse, Graves barely misses Chaos’s head as he ducks out of the way and counters with a stiff body blow. Wrapping Graves up with both arms, Chaos then lifts him off his feet and drives him into the mat with a German Suplex.

Quickly back to his feet, Chaos pulls Graves up by his hair and whips him into the nearby corner, following up with a Stinger splash before blasting him with relentless kicks to the stomach. Feeling the momentum and sensing the opportunity to put on a show for the fans, Chaos kicks Graves once more until he’s left in a seated position in the corner. Chaos then makes his way across to the opposite corner, turning back around to face Graves and takes off at a run. As he gets close to Graves he leaps and then connects with a running high knee to Graves’s face.

Back on his feet, Chaos stands over Graves. Using his foot, Chaos rolls Graves over to his back. He then places his foot across Graves’s throat and steps up onto it. Grabbing onto the top rope, Chaos then uses the rope for leverage as he chokes Graves, crushing his throat with the bottom of his boot. Chaz Bobo warns Chaos to break the hold. Chaos chooses to ignore the referee.Chaz starts to count. Once Chaz reaches the four count, Chaos steps down from Graves throat and raises his hands as he backs off slightly. Chaz Bobo kneels down to check on Graves, but Chaos reaches down and grabs ahold of him. Pulling him up from the mat. Placing Graves’s throat across the top rope, Chaos then reaches up underneath it and locks onto Graves’s head. Pulling down as hard as he can, Chaos then begins choking Graves with the ropes as Chaz Bobo begins yelling loudly for him to break the hold!

Audrey Dinklage: Chris Chaos is taking and and every advantage he can get tonight, but if he isn’t careful, his actions are going to end up costing him the match!

Huey D. Louie: He’s not an idiot Audrey! Chris knows how to play the game and use every rule to his advantage!

Chaz reaches a four count and Chaos once again releases the illegal hold. Graves drops to the mat clutching his throat and gasping for air. Chaz tries to check on him again, but Chaos pushes him out of the way and pulls Graves to his feet. Chaos lifts Graves up to his shoulders and twist his body for an F-5, but Graves manages to slip out and slide down Chaos’s back. Graves wraps his arms around Chaos waist and tries for a belly to back suplex, but Chaos rocks him with an elbow to the temple. Graves staggers back giving Chris enough room to make a dash and level Graves with a spear! Chaos hooks the leg and Bobo slides in for the count!










One!




























Two!





































KICKOUT!


Audrey Dinklage: It may have taken every ounce of energy that he could summon, but Graves kicked out!

Huey D. Louie: He only kicked out because Chaz Bobo counted slow! This is all a conspiracy against Chris Chaos!

Audrey Dinklage: You sound ridiculous Huey!

Chaos can't believe it. He sits up to his knees and runs his fingers through his hair only to grabs it in clumps and pull as he stares daggers though Graves. Chaos hops to his feet and pulls Graves to his. Chris whips Graves into the corner. Graves hits hard and slumps down, his arms hooked over the top rope being the only thing keeping him standing. Chaos grabs Graves and lifts him up top. He follows up to the second rope and hooks Graves head under his arm.

Audrey Dinklage: It looks like Chris Chaos is going to try and put Graves away with a superplex!

Chris steps up to the top rope and starts to initiate the superplex, but Graves stuns him with a shot to the ribs, followed by another one, and then a third to break the hold!

Chris Chaos and Micheal Graves are standing on the top rope, exchanging blows

Back and forth, back and forth. Back and forth.

Graves is facing back first towards the middle of the ring. The two begin to teeter. Graves tries to suplex Chaos, but he catches himself on the top. They continue to exhange blows as each man is now wobbling.

Just then, one of the hooded men runs into the ring. The ref turns and focuses on him. When he turns, one of the other hoodd man climbs the apron and hits Chaos in the back with a steel chair.

Graves then hooks the arm. The hooded man rolls out of the ring and Graves tosses Chaos as both men go tumbling off the ropes. Both hit the mat hard. Chaos is flat on his back, Graves is holding his.

"THIS IS AWESOME" clap clap clap cap clap "THIS IS AWESOME"
clap clap clap clap clap

Graves uses the ropes to pull himself up. Chaos is slower to get up, but when he does Graves spits the red mist into the face of Chaos. He grabs his eyes and backs away.......

He turns back towards Graves.









FINAL NAIL!


Huey D. Louie: This one is over! Graves and his henchmen were just too much for Chaos tonight!









Chaos is still blinded by the red mist as Graves hooks the leg.










1

























2



















































3!

Audrey Dinklage: He did it! Graves did it! The grisly vet still has something left in the tank!

Winner: Mystery Competitor: Micheal Graves


Tig O' Bitties: Here is your winner...........Micheal Graves!

Just then the hooded men all entered the ring. They took Chaos by the arms and legs. They lift him up and carry him out of the ring.

Huey D. Louie: Where are they taking Chaos here?!

Audrey Dinklage: Who knows! It could be anywhere! My god, is this the last time we are going to see Chris Chaos?!

Huey D. Louie: He has a match on Warfare.....

Audrey Dinklage: Not anymore......Gabe Reno is gone! That could be the fate of Chaos as wel! My goodness!

The men carry Chaos through the curtain and into the back as Graves stands in the ring with a grin as the scene cuts to the back.










Good evening everyone, and welcome to our very first edition of “Huge News W/Huey”. I’m your host Huey D’ Louie. Our top story tonight: “Gabe Reno: The definition of unimpressive.” Hard to believe? Hardly. Shortly after Gabe Reno won the Universal Title from Chris Chaos, tragedy struck. Heartbreak, temper tantrums, and impromptu contract shredding befell the XWF on the night that Jim “Big Dick Daddy” Caedus cashed in his 24/7 briefcase and pinned Gabe Reno.

Gabe Reno quickly fled the XWF seemingly never to return. I was hoping that never return literally meant just that. But, the powers that be decided that he was an asset, so once again Mr. Reno graces us with his presence.

However, in the short time since his return, Gabe hasn’t had much luck in the win department. Gabe was rocked by newcomer Kris Cruze that ended up being that idiotic jester Cadryn Tiberius on Savage in his first match back. Though the Gods smiled upon Gabe the next week when he beat an over the hill, barely sane, Micheal Graves on Warfare. Wouldn’t really call that a victory, I mean, it’s Micheal Graves. But, 1-1 sounds better than 0-2 I guess. But in typical Gabe Reno fashion, he fell apart against a competitor of his own calibur. Well, I’m giving them both too much credit, but Gabe Reno fell at the hands of Chris Chaos on Warfare a short time after winning his match with Graves. So by my count he’s now 1-2, and well on his way to being the talentless jerk we’ve all come to know!

So at this point, it’s time for XWF PPV Leap Of Faith. Again, not sure how these idiots manage to get these crazy shots that they don’t deserve, but Gabe has a chance to redeem himself in the much anticipated Leap Of Faith match. This was his one chance at glorious redemption! In one swift motion he could defeat Jim Caedus and Chris Chaos, two men who have put negative marks on his record in the past. Oh! And he would win the 24/7 Briefcase allowing him to cash in on another unsuspecting champion as he had happen to him all those months ago.

Glorious, glorious redemption..

Unsurprisingly, he failed to do any of that. In fact, he leaped over the top rope at one point in the match and was never seen or heard from again. With any luck he fell through a hole in the space time continuum and will never return.

Ah, if only..

Anyways, have you ever wondered “Why doesn’t the loser ever win anything?!” Well now you can lose and still feel like a winner. Introducing our newest weekly segment..

[Image: louieloserdef.jpg]


Every week at the end of Huge News/W Huey I will “randomly” select one individual who has gone above and beyond the call of failure to be crowned “Louie’s Loser”. Their plaque will be added to “The Wall Of Sadness” and we will forever remember the moment their lives finally had meaning.

It should be no surprise that our first ever Louie’s Loser is none other than:

[Image: renoplaque.jpg]


Because you can’t win em’ all, but you should probably win some..

That’s all the time I have for this week folks. Tune into Savage next week and see who manages to beat Gabe Reno in the failure department!

Back to you Audrey.





Television Championship Match
Neville Sinclair
- vs -
tHeWIcKeDwITcHdOcToR
15 Minute Time Limit!
2500 word limit




The Wicked Witch Doctor is already waiting in the ring as we return from commercial. Suddenly the familiar tune of Oboe Quartet in F Major K. 370 begins to play through the arena.



Neville Sinclair walks out to the stage with a glass of scotch in his hand. He pauses at the top of the stage and takes a sip of his scotch as he looks out to the crowd. After a moment, we continues on down the ramp as the Witch Doctor looks on. Neville walks up the ring steps and midway across the ring. He stares at his opponent momentarily before finishing off his scotch and entering the ring. Neville passes the now empty glass to the official, then walks to his corner where he prepares for the match to begin.

Audrey Dinklage: The action is about to begin Huey. What do you think the chances are of the Witch Doctor defeating Neville for the Television title tonight?

Huey D. Louie: Well he didn’t have an entrance did he?


Audrey Dinklage:Well not on TV, no, but he came out during the commercial break.

Huey D. Louie:Listen toots, you’re new to this, so I get it, but that should tell you everything that you need to know.

The referee calls for the bell.

DING DING DING!

Neville slowly walks out of his corner, but the Witch Doctor doesn’t move a muscle. Neville pauses in the center of the ring as he tries to determine his opponent's strategy. Suddenly the Witch Doctor breaks out into some weird tribal like voodoo dance. Neville raises an eyebrow and looks to the crowd in hopes that they can shed some light on the situation. Finally The Witch Doctor makes his move and dashes towards Neville. Neville stops him in his tracks with a quick front kick to the gut! Witch Doctor doubles over as Neville hits the ropes! On the rebound Neville connects with The Education! Neville with the pin!



One!

























Two!








































THREE!



Audrey Dinklage: Neville Sinclair wasting no time bring this one to a close!

Huey D. Louie: Performances like that are why Neville Sinclair is going to go down as one of the greatest Televisions Champions of all time!


Winner and still TV Champion
Neville Sinclair!


The official passes the TV championship to Neville and raises his arm in victory.












Suddenly the lights dim in the arena as a familiar tune blast over the PA.



Neville takes a break from celebrating and turns his attention to the stage.

Audrey Dinklage: “Neville better watch his back, Graves has a history of attacking when his opponent least expects it!”

Huey D. Louie: “Neville Sinclair just retained the Television championship in a hard fought defense! What business does Micheal Graves have out here?

Graves casually walks out onto the stage with a microphone already to his face.

”Whoa, whoa, whoa, what in the blue Hell was that?”

Graves takes a few steps forward.

”And everyone wonders why I said that the TV title is the least prestigious championship in the XWF? Listen, nothing against you Neville. There's no denying that you are a very talented athlete, but the piss poor level of competition that this company throws at you every week isn't giving you the opportunity to properly showcase that talent. Seriously, how can you make a statement when you're defending a title against clowns like… like whatever in the Hell that guy was supposed to be?”

Audrey Dinklage: “I hate to say it, but Micheal Graves makes a good point.”

So here's what I propose. Earlier tonight I defeated a former Universal Champion in Chris Chaos. So I'm thinking, I don't know… MAYBE that's good enough to earn me a Television title shot.”

The crowd pops at the idea as Neville continues to look on.

”So since I don't see anyone else lining up for the opportunity to face you, I took it upon myself to talk to J.T. Washington before I came out here, and it’s official, Gravy versus Sinclair for the Television Championship, live next week!”

Huey D. Louie: “What makes Micheal Graves think that he deserves a title shot!?! He’s only had one match in the last month!

Audrey Dinklage: “And that one match was a victory over Chris Chaos! I'd say that gives him a better argument than most!”









Suddenly, over the pa throughout the entire arena, we hear one sentence.

"It was at this moment he knew...

...he fucked up."




Immediately following, the opening chords to Nobody Speak by DJ shadow cue none other than the XWF Universal Champion, Robbie Bourbon! The crowd erupts as the Champion steps out, the big shiny gold belt hung over his left shoulder as he raises a fist. Robbie starts his jaunty stroll, the first as Universal Champion, down to the ring, high fiving fans along the way. The crowd is fever pitched. Robbie enters the ring, holds up the massive gold belt, and the fans go even wilder, shaking the very camera with the decibel levels of sound they're generating. Someone from offscreen tosses a microphone to Robbie, who snags it with his free hand. He puts the microphone to his lips, but before he can speak, the people speak.

*ROBBIE BOURBON*CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP*ROBBIE BOURBON*CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP*ROBBIE BOURBON*CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Robbie, a cheesy huge grin across his face, his cheeks deep red, beams. He bows his head and lowers the microphone, and at the same instant raises the Universal Title Belt high in the air again. The crowd goes crazy.

*YOU DESERVE IT*YOU DESERVE IT*YOU DESERVE IT*

Robbie's hand drops as he holds the title to his side, his belly jiggling as he laughs, embracing the embarrassing moment of success when everybody starts giving you massive props for something and you didn't know it was coming. Robbie puts the microphone to his lips again, but the crowd isn't finished yet. They roar, and then begin to chant again.

*FUCK 'EM UP, ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*FUCK 'EM UP, ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*FUCK 'EM UP, ROBBIE, FUCK 'EM UP!*

Robbie goes and leans in the corner, letting the wild fans air it all out. He puts a finger to his ear, insinuating he can't hear the universe's adulation. Then, a soccer chant!

*ROBBIE BOURBON, HE WILL BREAK YOUR FACE, START RUNNING NOW AND GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!*ROBBIE BOURBON, HE WILL BREAK YOUR FACE, START RUNNING NOW AND GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!*ROBBIE BOURBON, HE WILL BREAK YOUR FACE, START RUNNING NOW AND GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!*

Robbie can barely believe his ears.

Holy shit, do I have hooligans now?

The crowd goes nuts again, and breaks into chant.

*YOU HAVE HOOLIGANS!*YOU HAVE HOOLIGANS!*YOU HAVE HOOLIGANS!*

The camera changes to show the crowd here in Hollywood. A group of fans, all in masks, stand shirtless, the word BOURBON spelled out in paint on their bellies. Most of them have d-cup breasts, and the disparity of heights between the women make it almost look like BOURBON is spelled like the famous Hollywood sign. One definitely had her nipples pierced. You totally noticed under cut-off tank top. Next the camera shows a family of four, mom, dad, sis, and brother, all in masks. The little boy, all of two, is wearing a shirt that says "my parents made me the night you fought GameGirl". The camera changes to show a bevy of active duty seamen and marines along with a cavalcade of veterans to calculate to an entire division of war ready men and women, all passing around bottles of booze. A Navy flight crew is seen, all with Robbie Bourbon mask patches on their jackets, which say "THE BOURBON TOPSIDE". The camera changes to show a group of 18-40 year old men all in differing XWF shirts, most not in masks, all going bonkers. The camera goes back to Robbie as he puts the mic to his mouth one more time. The crowd dies down.

Well, shit, how do I follow an act like that?

The crowd goes nuts. The hot chicks forming the BOURBON sign all start giving body shots to the vets. The family of four is risen on the shoulders of the 18-40 year old men who are internet smarks or something like that.

Heh, so...

...look what WE did.


Robbie raises the Universal Title high again, and the crowd blows up with such magnitude that not only are the cameras vibrating, so are the ring ropes. Robbie points at the rope as his eyes go wide, then looks to the back, struck by the fact this is the biggest reaction a crowd has given in wrestling history.

Fuck the goosebumps, you guys are giving me a fucking boner right now!

The crowd jumps into another chant.

*DAH-NEE SEX!*DAH-NEE SEX!*DAH-NEE SEX!*DAH-NEE SEX!*

Robbie begins to laugh visually, along with the crew ringside.

Yeah, that's my dick alright.

The crowd roars.

But enough about my dick. I came out to say a few things, so as Champion of the Universe, and Man of the People, the first thing I need to say is thank you.

Robbie is cut off again by the crowd. He puts his microphone hand out and waves downward, shushing the crowd, as he secures the belt over his left shoulder. The returns the microphone to his face.

Thank you to all of you. Thank you if you live in Pennsylvania, if you live in New Jersey, if you live in Florida, if you live in Kentucky, if you live in Tennessee and be the only ten I see, if you live in Michigan, if you live in Nebraska, if you live in England, if you live in Massachussets, if you live in Virginia, if you live in West Virginia, If you're in the Carolinas, if you live in Texas and are super tiny, if you live in Chicago and aren't, if you live in Canada, if you live in Mexico, if you hail from anywhere in the fucking universe, and especially some love to my California people...

Cheap pop for the home crowd. Robbie raises the belt again.

I did it for us. Look what we did. If there were none of you...

The crowd goes nuts again.

*ROBBIE BOURBON*ROBBIE BOURBON*ROBBIE BOURBON*ROBBIE BOURBON*ROBBIE BOURBON*

WITHOUT YOU THERE IS NO ROBBIE BOURBON!

The arena hits a decibel level never before heard in XWF broadcast, causing the audio to drop and the camera to flicker due to vibrations causing the ring itself to quake. Robbie puts a hand out, and the crowd goes as silent as Lambeaux with Aaron Rodgers under center.

That's fucking right! I'm the Motherfucking Universal People's Champion. All of existence. All of you, everybody. Your grocer, your baker, your candlestick maker, the last living Quaker, the dude who invented the salt shaker, the massive orgasm faker, John Cena or even the Undertaker, Roger Moore and the whole cast of Moonraker, the Mummy's slayer and Dracula's staker, union official or official strikebreaker, yard to yard, foot by foot, acre by acre. I am the representative of all of you, and hot god damn if I don't feel awesome as fuck coming out here and knowing that the biggest target on the planet, in the universe, is me, and if some party pooper wants to rain on our parade, they'll try to find me.

And that's when they'll know they fucked up.

Because I can not let you down.

All of you.


The crowd goes wild. “Insect” by Die Warzau hits, and The Engineer hits the ramp! He's dressed in somewhat un-Engy fashion, an untucked black button-up shirt, black shirts and a blood red tie. The Xtreme championship is draped over his shoulder. He walks down to the ring, rolls under the bottom rope. Robbie Bourbon hands the mic off to him.

You thought this was over? This ain't over. The Motherfuckers ain't over.

But we're OVER as SHIT.

I bet certain members of XWF royalty had been hoping that the Motherfuckers weren't a thing no more. That Robbie and I, given our individual success, wouldn't be able to make it work. But ya see, that's just the thing about power and success. It tends to attract other like-minded powerful and successful individuals. Right guys? You know what I mean.

One big difference though between us and those certain XWF royals. Us? Our hearts are in it. We're here to FIGHT. Every goddamn week. Not beg for a title match and bitch out when you're smile falls off neither. We get shit DONE.

Now I remember the criticisms. Theo called us a revolving door. Maybe he had a point. Or at least, back then he did. Have we lost some members? Sure. Jack Cain and Bearded War Pig left the tribe. But the key word there is LEFT. Not “hang on desperately to relevance and pretend to be a functioning member of the roster.” We don't have John Samuel's and John Madison's dragging this shit down, our boys hearts ain't in it they take their time and they go do what they need to do. Maybe they come back, maybe they don't. But they never, NEVER affix their lamprey like jaws to the teat of this promotion and suckle the life out of it like the lesser half of the Kings do, taking guys like me and humiliating them for having the AUDACITY to win titles when they can't even be fucking bothered to show up most a the time.

You boys got a problem with me callin' a spade a spade? Fuck you. The Kings ain't but shit ass part-timers anymore, and Madison and Samuels ain't even that much. It's like you fuckers ain't even heard of the word “retirement”. So check this: WE ARE GOING TO END YOU. It's done. It's over. No more hanging around like a bad stench for the Kings. Grandpa's going to Hospice. Old Yeller is getting taken out back and shot. The lame mare is getting a lethal injection.

DEAD. DEAD. DEAD.

Dead and buried.



Engy hands the mic off to Robbie, and then gets an expression on his face like he forgot something and takes it back.

Also, Theo, tell the wife I said “hi”.

With a smirk he hands the mic back off to Robbie for real this time.

Well, shit, I guess that crack team of bastards the Motherfuckers consists of not only the Universal Champion, but the Xtreme Champion as well. Huh, go figure....

The crowd goes bonkers, causing the vibrating camera again. Engy is legitimately taken aback by how loud and raucus the crowd is, unlike anything he has ever seen.

*I'M A MOTHERFUCKER, YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKER!*I'M A MOTHERFUCKER, YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKER!*I'M A MOTHERFUCKER, YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKER!*I'M A MOTHERFUCKER, YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKER!*

Get 'em, hooligans.

The crowd, seeing both the Xtreme and Universal Champion ready to fight the Kings, is absolutely wild. Suddenly, Paul Oakenfold's Ready, Steady, Go blares throughout the arena as Jim Caedus starts to walk down to the ring, holding his 24/7 case. The crowd is even louder than before! Caedus steps into the ring holding his case, and walks to the ropes. He's handed a microphone as his music drops.

"You know...for all the critiques and shade so many of you enjoyed flingin' at Ax3 and the memory of, I'd be willin' to bet you'd trade them for The Kings in a _heartbeat_ at this point, am I right? What is it some of you said...The Kings represent the spread of an undeniable cancer within the XWF? Indeed...and what the hell has anyone BESIDES Ax3 done about it?

J
A
C
K

S
H
I
T

but squabble amongst themselves in an anticlimactic tag tournament. Oh sure, a few have risen on their own or in some fashion of an ill-formed team to nip at their heels and there _are_ some promising, dominant duos set to challenge like my girl Tala and her sister Jas'. But ain't no one so much as scratched the surface on those sodomistic sons o' skeet spackled skanks (unchallenged to the point of lackadaisical yawn-status, B-T-W) and the reason is _because_ you all keep placin' focus on the Tag Titles. Now _granted_, relieving the regi rogues gallery of those straps is somethin' that MUST be done...but that ain't gonna solve the problem of patriarchal power-drunk douchebag dipshittery, all it's gonna do is _piss_ those off and have them actually start doin' a bit more than the scant amount of assfuckin' they've BEEN doing. Is that what you want, fam? Is it!? You want The Kings, all FOUR of them _plus_ the ultimate incarnation of their jester, Cadryn Cruze, butthurt and runnin' on all cylinders, fueled by a wee bit o' humiliation, gunnin' to destroy _everyone_?

Lemme guess, the tougher and more arrogant o' you out there think you can handle it, yes? No, fam, you can't. Ain't a single person nor terrifyin' two-fer gonna do dick to The Kings in whole beyond at best put up one helluva struggle...and this is ME sayin' this for fucksake, I've been trying to get EACH MEMBER of The Kings in singles matches since this all STARTED so as to backhand the bitches one by one. But even _I_ ain't capable of _eliminating_ those pricks, dismantling their stable as they did mine, all on my own, no one is. Could Ax3 have done it? Maybe...but instead of supporting the cause most o' you hated on us then clapped and ignored, refusing to fight back as The Kings executed the player-haterish destruction of Ax3 then turned on the _rest_ of you. You good with that?

I thought not.

Well lucky for you there ARE still some men (and women like The Sugays) willing to wage war, able to gel, fully capable of crushing The Kings and returning this pinnacle promotion to the land of opportunity and balance it once was. The UNIVERSAL CHAMPION...

R
O
B
B
I
E

B
O
U
R
B
O
N

...The UNIFIED XTREME CHAMPION...

T
H
E

E
N
G
I
N
E
E
R

...and the man holding the golden ticket to _any title_, MR. 24/7...

J
I
M

C
A
E
D
U
S
.

Fuckin A, fam. Thanks to my boy Bourbsy, Jim Caedus is a MOTHERFUCKER now. And The Kings? Well...The Kings are just

F
U
C
K
E
D
."

*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*

Robbie gives a high five to Jim Caedus. The Engineer pats Caedus on the shoulder. The crowd goes absolutely ballistic over the news that The Engineer, Jim Caedus, and Robbie Bourbon.

Woah, woah, woah, Jim, if you aren't the party pooper, and if Engy isn't the party pooper...

The sound of a fart is heard over the PA. The camera shows the stage, and making his way to party for Robbie Bourbon is none other than...






























The legendary...



























The iconic...










































The one and only...


















































SCATBEAR!!!

The crowd goes nuts as Scatbear squats on the stage and literally poops the party! He holds up his massive and solid turd after and walks backstage! In the ring, Bourbon, Caedus, and Engy all share a laugh.

Okay, that's well and good, but Jimbo, you said there were three Motherfuckers...

...you forgot one.




As Monster by STEMM starts to blare through the arena, a figure on a horse rides out in traditional cavalry attire, looking just like John Wayne only with a beard. The crowd has become deafening at this point at the sight of Bearded War Pig riding down to the ring, the fourth of the Motherfuckers. He dismounts the horse and enters the ring, and sticks his hand out. Caedus puts his atop it. The Engineer puts his atop Caedus's. Bourbon puts his hand atop Engy's. Robbie puts the microphone in the middle.

Give the Kings theirs.

The rest belongs to the people.


The crowd goes bananas.



Audrey Dinklage: “What an interesting turn of events!”


Huey D. Louie: “Just another bullshit stable. how many members have passed through the Motherfuckers since they started?

Audrey Dinklage: “Well that's all the time that we have for this week! Be sure to tune in next week when Neville Sinclair defends against Micheal Graves, and Barney Green faces off against Jim Caedus in his final match with the XWF, a C-4 death match!”

Huey D. Louie: “Plus we'll have something that you really want to see, THE NEXT EDITION OF HUGE NEWS WITH HUEY!!!

Audrey Dinklage: “Nobody needs that in their lives...”




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