Look here motherfucker, I'ma take that goddamn belt, ya feel me? I'ma walk up in yo grill, sling dis huge nigga dick cross yo mouf and watch you pass out from ecstacy. Ain't never met a nigga like me, Lil boy ass bitch. What kinda name is Ricardo Grande, nigga? Sound like the #5 meal at Red Burrito, ass bitch. Walk round dis nigga like you bout it, you ain't doh. You bout to lose that bling, dats all bout to happen. Ima whip your mexicano ass back across the border, Taco Bell. Lookin like one dem niggas from halo, prolly call ya masta queef, nigga, fuck. Ain't even gonna take but a minute. Just let it happen, cuh. We both know you ain't got what it takes to survive the realest nigga, son. Six figga Killa, dats what dey call me round town. Not cause a nigga got a lotta money, but cause a nigga cash yo ass like a check, na mean?!

Louis slaps Ricardo in the mouth with his big nigga and pins his stupid ass.

1..

2..

"Boy, if you you don't take your Don Glover fanclub looking ass outta here, I'm shove an entire potato up my ass and piss french fries on your face. Your whack ass, never pleasured a woman, can't get an erection, calls the cops when the neighbors argue ass ain't cashing no checks, or looking tough. Why don't you and your little oompa loompa, gorilla dick smelling piece of shit life partner go back to Paddy's pub, and order some drinks with pink umbrellas? Make sure they're virgin, just like you. Maybe stop on the way home and pick up a 1987 Playboy, cause guaranteed that's the only way you're gonna see a naked girl in your life.

How are you even a real person standing in front of me? How are you less of a threat than Drezdin? How much coke did I fit into my ass to get into a coma deep enough to produce a dream where I'm being insulted by a literal weasel in clothes? And damn, who told you that haircut was a good idea? 1994? Did you tell your barber that you want to get a haircut that reminds you of the time when Pac and Biggie were still beefing? Or, did you ask him to give you "The less socially skilled Screech" and hope Dustin Diamond didn't come after you? Damn, dude, throw out as much slang and shit as you want, you're not gonna sound or seem impressive or valid. You are literally the Malibu's Most Wanted of the XWF."

I kick out like a champ.

My nigga, is dat all you got? Are you fuckin' jokin, dawg? Weak as a motherfucker. I tell you what, cuh, lemme lay it down for ya one mo' gain.

You a asthmatic fatass with no tactic.
Talkin' mad shit you know you aint backin.
Got a little bling on your shoulder so you wild n out.
I'm cold like Jon Snow, nigga you best head south.
Fuck you and D Glover, man i ain't dat boujee.
I am a Lethal Weapon I'll smoke your ass like tunechi
I pop off like a glock when I'm puttin it down
But you ain't no threat to me nigga, I'm just clownin around.
Potatoes, Screech, nigga your words dey be slackin.
French fries you be pissin bigger than the dick you be whackin.
Ain't no virgin round here playboy, you made a mistake.
100% dick givin nigga, ain't no need to be fake.
Time's up my nigga, 12th round and you wobblin'
Can't even be hungry with all this dick you been gobblin.
You done summoned the devil my nigga, so i'll see you in hell.
I hit hard like AC Slater and you won't be Saved By The Bell.

See that shit right there son?! I'ma motherfuckin' monster on the mic, fuckass lil boi. Step to me like you got what it takes, nigga please..

Louis once again lays his monster cock across the body of Ricardo for the pin.

1..

2..

"Did you have a stroke, B-rad? Come on, Taye Diggs isn't gonna kidnap you unless you eat your broccoli. Keep trying to be a hard gangsta, and I promise someday a nice middle aged white woman will actually lock her doors when you walk down the street, it'll just a drastic change in appearance and attitude. For now you're not even likely to be randomly selected when you fly. Hell, you're so goddamn nonthreatening, you can go through an interaction with cops without being shot.

You're less like a Glock and more like a clock. Always ticking, nothing important to say. Like a child in toy store, crying cause someone else got the last BeetleBorg toy. How the fuck are you gonna take my saved by the Bell dig, and act like it's in any way original or funny when you do it? That's just lazy trash right there. And it's not helped by you not being able to form a coherent thought or speech. Go hang out at Journey's and help people find the right shoe. You mall Kiosk mother fucker. You're less hard than my dead dog's dick. You're less imposing than Bruce Campbell's cameo in Spiderman 3. You're less entertaining than Been Affleck's Daredevil. You're Jennifer Garner as Elektra. Fuck outta here with your Dashboard Confessional shit."

Kick the fuck out.

Keep on clappin' back with these whack attacks, just makes my life a lil easier dawg. All you got in your arsenal is some lame as 90's jokes that you attempt to flip on a nigga based on my fly style. Fuck dat, nigga. You wanna talk about hard? Who you think put the fuckin' hurtin on the Sexy Sisters a couple of weeks ago? Me and my boy Sammy, son. We fucked em' so good they ain't been right since. You ain't got the pipes or the mind to hold onto that belt, dawg. You weak, your style ain't shit, and you more than Nate Higgers hillbilly ass. At least that crazy cracker had the decency to show his honky face anytime dat ass needed spanked. You hidin behind dat mask, but I see you cuh. You just another jabroni tryin' ta get his 15 minutes of fame, and I feel it dawg, I do. But nigga you ain't gonna get dat from me. I'm the baddest nigga round here, and I know the ink still wet on that contract you signed with Vinnie Lane, but you gotta recognize. Taye Diggs dat nigga, I give you dat. White women love a nigga like me. Dick swingin all round they mouf and shit, talkin' bout being in love wit a nigga and shit. I love my snowbunnies, bruh. You ain't mad bout me takin all the white women are ya? I left a couple dem meth head sluts out by the dumpster if you hard up, go get a piece. You seem a little mad bout dat Saved By The Bell dig too, bro. Like it hit you in some places ain't been rubbed since Uncle Sid took you to Toys R Us last time, ya know? How you even gonna accuse me of being some type of Mallrat? Nigga, all your material died with the View Askew Five. It's old and busted, just like your cosplayin' ass. Ain't nobody hanging out at malls no mo, fuck errybody hittin Amazon for them deals, son. You keep on throwin shade like you got the fuckin' sack to back big black up in a corner. Pfft, nigga we both know you frontin'. I suggest you get ahold of your agent, cause LMP running away wit dis motherfucker, just like I will be that title soon enough.

"You want me to clap back with something real and hard?, Hit me with something above Drezdin level first, son. Try and actually have a point to so you can have me with it. Cause right now, you're looking like an unsharpened pencil, which is exactly thrice the size of your tiny little tapeworm you call a dick. Keep talking it swinging around people's mouths, that's how that word is pronounced bee tea dubs, but really, the only person who would be impressed with it are fucking newborns. Anyone else will think they stumbled upon some child porn when they see it of course they only see it in unsolicited pics, because no one want to see you, or fuck you.

Get the fuck outta here with your Too Catch a Predator looking ass. Go have a seat and wait for Chris to show up. Hanging out with twelve year olds, and selling them oregano cut with yard clippings won't make you hard, or gangsta. Especially since your dumbass got sold that shit as promo weed. Bet you paid $100 an ounce for it too, you fucking paper gangsta. Why don't you cut the shit and get to the point. You're fucking jealous of me, that's why you throwing this Melanie Martinez style hissy fit. You mad cause I come in, win a title, and get an awesome dragon right away, and you're stuck towing around some toad dick of a man, who coincidentally looks more gangsta than your old dollar tree version of Samuel L Jackson ass, and can't achieve shit here. Instead of focusing on the Left you're about to take from me, may as well focus on that L you'll be taking at Warfare when you get a Quiznos sub shoved up your ass. It'll be about the closest you'll get to sex, and you'll even be able to tell people you were assaulted for sympathy. Now, go get the fuck out of here. There's gotta be an old lady you help cross the street."

Shit son, I stay hard hittin. This whole time I been workin dat body, nigga. You fittin’ ta crumble under the weight of these blows. You can bullshit around it, fuckin dance nigga, dance. But it ain't mean shit. You got some meaningless insults and some shit, but you ain't see me, cuh. But you best believe you ain't gonna be able to miss me when I'm done. Bet. You talkin bout how ain't nobody trying to hear what I spit, but nigga you all fucked up. The whole world loves hearin me smack fuckniggas like you around. Chris Hansen? Predator? Who da fuck you think I am, Michael Graves. Fuck naw, boi. That old rickety kiddy diddler ain't got a thing to do with me, that's for sure. I ain't keep that kinda company, son. Sounds like you reachin’ nigga, like you stretched too thin. I'm wearin that ass down, fuckin paper champ. That belt deserves a real nigga, not some peckerwood who jacks off his fuckin pet snake. Speaking of jack offs, I ain't mention selling a motherfuckin thing. Keep off that shit. Don't need Whitey up in here slapping cuffs on a nigga, then Killin my ass cause he THOUGHT some shit was bout to pop off.

I be smokin all day nigga, not slingin. I make my chedda, like I said by smokin niggas like you on the reg. You can't quit dis, mane. You done brought out the big guns, Poppin off like you got the means of defeatin a General when you just a foot soldier. Nigga learn your place, have some respect for the niggas that keep it 100.

So you keep tossing out nigga names, but you ain't called me Monday.

The sun's bout to go down, bedtime for El Grande.

There's that LONG HUGE FUCKIN’ INSATIABLE dick again, all up on your forehead region, holdin ya down for the pin.

1..

2..

"Come on, son. You claim you're hard hitting, but I've had cases of Typhoid that have hit harder than you. Damn, if this is you hitting it hard, I feel bad for anyone you manage to finally take that cherry. I can't imagine them being able to feel it if you hit em as hard as you've been hitting me. Dawg, the only reason I'm still humoring this is because Mike is asleep, and I don't wanna poke him just so he can entertain me more than you'll ever do. It's ok, you fucking joke of a human being. Let's go over your accomplishments here. 1. Fuck all. 2. Absolutely nothing. 3. Failing to make an impression. And now you're coming at me because you wanna steal some of the attention I've gotten in much less time you.

Keep thinking you're hard, and tough, it'll only make it more fun when you inevitably fall harder than Rhyno after a triple dose of Benadryl. Go back to coloring while you wait for the kindergarten to let out. You only get to hold your girlfriend's hand for, what half an hour after school? That's when her mom will get home, and lord knows you don't want to have to introduce yourself to the neighbors. It'd be the saddest introduction. 'Hi, my name is punkass, and I can't wrestle or get a girlfriend my own age. Kindergartners are the only ones who don't think I'm a total waste of space. Some day I'll gather up the courage to actually kill myself properly, but in the meantime, I'm just gonna bother everyone around me.'

Now, cue up the scene where you follow around my flow like a sad little lost puppy, because on top of all of your other faults, you also can't lead a conversation, or battle that you started well. So, how about you make like you was an All American Rejects song, and Move along. Punk ass fake ass gangsta piece of shit."

Once again, I kick out and wonder what I'm even doing wasting time with this piece of shit.

My nigga. Dat right there was that shit. You got me fifty shades of fucked up. You got me, son, can't even front. Dis nigga gonna walk away, cause ain't a fuckin' thing I got to top dat. Be easy, Ricky.

Louis throws up some kind of nigga hoodlum sign and walks away from the Federweight Champion.

You know quitters never win, right Louis?

WINNER AND STILL XWF FEDERWEIGHT CHAMPION GRANDE RICARDO (MIKE TOO)