Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 09:59 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
No You
Author Message
TheBigKahuna Offline
Sexiest Man Alive



XWF FanBase:
Mixed reactions

(cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
09-29-2017, 06:51 PM

Kahuna is frantically pacing outside the arena in Hollywood, slamming on the doors every few minutes for someone to let him in.

The Big Kahuna: Oh I'm fuckin' JACKED tonight, Neville. I'll admit...I don't normally let another wrestler get to me. But what you had to say the other day about me was completely out of line...I can't even sleep tonight. I need to get in the arena...I need to feel it...Because God damn if you just know how to fuck up a perfectly good situation...Saying I'm not funny...Saying I'm bland...

Mr. Sinclair, every promo of yours is some snoozefest history lesson followed by you acting as an intellectual snob towards your opponent. In short - it's the dumbest fuckin shit I've ever seen someone try to pass as a promo. People barely give a shit about history that's personally affected them - what in the hell makes you think anyone wants to see your thesis on great English writers? Are we in a wrestling federation still? Hello? People go their whole life trying to get away from teachers and the classroom and here comes big bad Sinclair to show them what really matters in the world! Me, bland? Ice flavored? How much blander does it get than snoring through ANOTHER history lesson that no one gives a shit about? If I wasn't so pissed off, I'd fall asleep right now just thinking about it.

So yeah Sinclair, you got to me a little bit. Good job. But that's where your victories end. Because...you think you're going to call me un-funny...Not funny...Whatever! And you think that's going to bring me down? This isn't a god damn comedy act to me. This isn't some more promo material. This is my life! I don't know what else I have to say to get it through your skulls, but wrestling is who I am. I'm glad you don't think I'm funny Sinclair. Because I'm not a stand-up comedian. I'm not an actor. I'm a wrestler. I'm not some Kings Clown, sent here to amuse you and make you laugh. I know the nerves are getting to you too. Maybe you were trying to laugh, to be in a cheerful mood, to relieve the stress. The continued weeks and weeks of defending the title. Knowing even if you get through a week, you're 6 days away from it all being over.

Neville! We see the lists. The lists and lists of people WAITING at a shot at Raven. You could jump them all with one phone call! With one turned over belt. You'll say it's worth the risk. After all, as you say, I've already peaked. But you know I have yet to be pinned. You know, that for as stupid and smug as I want to get Monday through Friday, Saturday Night has been my night. That through all the bullshit, my skill and talent as a wrestler aren't up for debate. Let me tell you Sinclair, your false bravery has turned you stupid. You will regret holding onto your golden ticket. No take backsies bro.

And once I do have that belt around my waist...Since you did ask...Yes, I believe everyone will get ice cream ON ME when I win! What's so bad about that? And I don't know about the french fries, but the Kahuna already lives off girls in bikinis from the beach and I'm in the best shape of my life. Once again Nev...Your farts smell just as shitty as mine do, even if you want to pretend you're intellectually superior. But one thing you cannot even pretend to be is physically superior. I am the better wrestler. You've become too comfortable Neville. It's time to let someone respect that title again. And you? Maybe you can make a shitty youtube channel of your stupid history channel. I won't donate to your Patreon.


Just then, a custodial employee opens the door to the arena and Kahuna scurries in.

[Image: J8V4IkJ.png]
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 1 user Likes TheBigKahuna's post:
(09-29-2017)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)