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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
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Neville Sinclair Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



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Mixed reactions

(cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
09-28-2017, 09:55 PM

September 28, 1940

[Image: wodehouse-p-g-1929.jpg]


It almost didn’t seem the right time to be a humorist.

Years previous, PG Wodehouse had enjoyed the luxury of living off his writing. Having created the famous Wooster and Jeeves, it seemed everyone was reading his stuff for a good laugh. Wodehouse had gone really quickly from being a struggling writer, to being someone that an entire country looked to for humor, satire and political commentary. Many books had been written and royalty and politicians alike both turned to Wodehouse for his snark. He had become a celebrity.


So why had they turned their back on me?

The one thing that Wodehouse had not counted on was the taxes that would be due when he started making more money. It seemed an exorbitant amount, and Wodehouse had fought deeply to try and not pay it. But the only things that were certain in life were death and taxes, so it was always going to be clear that the government would take what he wanted.

But that was the problem. Through his own satire he was able to call out government structures for their downfalls, through his inflated sense of what was good, Wodehouse could comment on things that mattered to every day people. Having sensed that his battle with the government wouldn’t be won, PG packed up his life and moved to France, the English government couldn’t hassle him there. Being far away from the situations meant Wodehouse could launch an even fiercer attack on the structure of English parliament.


It wasn’t that Wodehouse didn’t like the French government, but rumblings out of it’s neighbor Germany scared him. He started to write some novels to comment on Nazi Germany, but he feared their release. It was one thing to comment on a country that allowed free speech, it was another completely to comment on a country that burned books they didn’t agree with. The battle for satire seemed crucial and he needed to do what he did best. The world needed it from him.

The rumours that were coming in the world were that France would be invaded soon. Wodehouse only imagined what life would be like once the Germans came.

He faced a dilemma, would he stay in France and risk the Germans or go back to England and face arrest?

Having understood that it might be only a matter of time until the Germans attacked England as well, Wodehouse decided he had to stay where he was. He would spend his days in France watching and commenting on the world around him.

He turned to his wife – Ethel and kissed her on the top of her head. He knew she was scared and he hated himself for putting themselves in this situation


We'll be Alright

He kissed her again

I hope.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 28, 2017

[Image: capi_ae0d8b51054dd7c428edf415105a4a0b_a4...4bdbb.jpeg]
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Neville was in London again, there was something incredible about being one of the most incredible men in the world in one of the most amazing cities in the world. This was, in many senses, exactly where Neville felt he belonged. British, powerful, and wealthy, London sat with it’s place in history books. There would never be another city like her.

Neville approached the door of 17 Dunraven Street. This was where PG Wodehouse had lived. It looked so boring, how could a man of such high-caliber laughs live here? It reminded Neville of the house where Hook took place. Neville remembered seeing the Queen Mother years ago here dedicating a plaque to Wodehouse’s memory. Neville had fallen in love with Wodehouse’s books at an early age. There was something hilarious to seeing society through Wodehouse’s lens. He remembered years later when Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry had tried to make this into a tv show. It still is considered classic English television to this day.

How could someone so funny come from somewhere so bland? Neville suspected it was because he outgrew this house and went on to somewhere more exciting. It’s usually through experiences in the world that people find themselves and Neville had plenty of experiences in that.


I think it’s quite funny to think of “the Big Kahuna” as someone who stands as an “anti-Wodehouse”. I mean you look at this place and marvel that someone could make great things out of it. The funniest part of Kahuna is that he comes from a colorful place, yet he still feels bland as fuck. It’s as if someone decided to make a shave ice and they made it “ice” flavor. Trying to watch Kahuna cut a promo in this federation is like trying to watch an Irishman get a tan at the beach, you just know it’s not going to happen well and that he’ll end up getting burned in the end. I mean seriously, you put some stereotypical Hawaiian stereotype in this federation and he deserves a title shot? Fuck that.

Neville sees a nice old woman come to the door and ask him if he can be helped. Neville dismisses her with a hand wave and continues on his rant.

I mean seriously, it would be nice to be tropical all the time. I can only imagine what a proper tan feels like. But like a guy who has eaten too much coconut, The Big Kahuna is completely full of shit. Let me explain why in a few simple words so you understand.

Neville smiles at the camera and begins to teach

Lesson #1 – Stop Trying to Be Funny


Here’s what I don’t get about you “Kahuna”, there’s absolutely nothing in any of your promos that I can take seriously. I mean, I get that you’re a Hawaiian dude who enjoys surfing and girls. You’re a straight beach boy from the 60’s hanging ten and catching waves. But, you tend to try and overstuff your promos with lame attempts to be funny and outrageous side characters. Do you really think that’s the best way to handle things? I mean, honestly, I think I’m more annoyed by you than scared. I wonder how many people have actually watched your promos and laughed. I can’t think of anyone who would share that same annoying sense of humor you have. But I mean, keep hanging out with that Dustin Diamond-ass guy that I can barely remember the name of. Watching him in your promos have been hilarious. Mostly because I can laugh at how fucking lame the whole thing is.

Neville laughs a little bit thinking of Kahuna trying to be funny

I mean I have the same kind of laughs for you that I do at awful viral videos. You kind of laugh because of how bad they are, but at the same time you wince because you know if that were you you’d be embarrassed. It makes me wonder, do you have your own laugh track running through your head? I mean I expect you to burst into every room and fall over because that’s what simple audiences find funny. Think of every embarrassing sitcom trope ever found, and that’s what watching one of your promos is like.

I remember when I was a kid I watched this really bad show called California Dreams. It was such a Saved by the Bell knockoff and it involved a high school band. The only reason I ever laughed at anything to do with it was because of how fucking bad it was. It made teenagers look like idiots because they cracked middle-aged dad jokes in situations they normally wouldn’t. I mean, the show was embarrassing for everyone involved. Here’s why it matters. Watching your promos I have to think you’ve hired the writers from that show. I’m having awful fucking flashbacks and it’s all thanks to you.


Neville shudders and looks on to the road, people are taking pictures of him. His name was starting to get famous and he loved being in crowds now

Lesson #2 – Take Yourself Seriously


Seriously, this is important for you. I mean, you’re a California surfer guy with a Hawaiian name and culture. It’s obvious as fuck that you don’t even know anything about yourself. You want to call me out to stand for my full potential, but you’ve already reached your peak. What would you even do if you won a title? You come into XWF, give everyone some ice cream and live an endless summer? Are you going to be some beach bum living off of girls in bikinis and French fries? What the hell could anything you bring actually stand to benefit the XWF in any capacity? I’m sorry, there’s nothing unique or interesting about you.

One of the things I love doing when I’m in Hawaii is to look for Hawaiian shirts. Usually at the market you can find one for $10-20 and it’s always an excuse to look like Jimmy Buffet and take the beach home with you. But a funny thing happened the last time I went home with one. I was wearing it out, and I see this incredibly overweight man coming towards me. Then I realized we were wearing the same shirt. He tells me there’s really only 5-6 patterns in Hawaii that people buy and that he loves getting together with people who buy the same design as him because they all become friends. Mortified I looked at him and had to spell out that I didn’t want to be his fucking friend. You see Kahuna, you’re about as tacky and original as a streetside Hawaiian shirt. Only assholes and tacky individuals want to be seen anywhere near you.


Neville smiles and decides it’s now time for his daily shot of Scotch. Hiding in his pocket is an 18 year old Glen Scotia. He wonders if he should pull out a cigar with this but instead launches a few shots down his own throat. Once the buzz hits Neville decides he can go on

Lesson #3 – Stand and Say Something

Here’s why I think Wodehouse needs to be remembered. He actually had the courage to use his gift of writing humor to stand up against a corrupt government and call them out on their shit. We see a lot of this today, but imagine back then. People loved him because he was good at it. He was the 1930’s Stephen Colbert. He used his own platform and drew attention to things society needed to notice. Do you do that Kahuna? I mean, you’re trying to be funny, but is there any depth to it at all? Or do you think cracking jokes at an opponents expense is all you’re good for. If you want to be remembered here, you need to say something. Make sure when you speak, people want to tune in.

Don’t just fucking surf by and annoy the hell out of everyone


Neville smashes his glass on the ground and walks off annoyed at having to fight Kahuna for the title.

Fuck this guy.

Educating the XWF since 06/08/17
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