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On The Hunt
09-28-2017, 09:20 PM
Post: #1


The scene opens in the middle of a lush woodland area. We find our hero, Sammy Madison, dressed in camouflage pants and a bright orange vest. In his hands he is carrying what appears to be a wimpy .22 rifle. As the camera pans in for a close up of Sammy's face, he holds a finger to his lips.

Shhhh!

Sammy leans in ever closer to the camera. So close in fact, that the lens is damn near touching his cheek.

Be very very quiet. Tonight I'm out here in this secluded forest in search of a very elusive hunt. No, I'm not talking about our opponent's fortitude. What I'm hunting is even more rare and majestic. I'm hunting...r.

Suddenly there is a rustling in the bushes that are about 20 feet in front of Sammy. Startled, Sammy let's out a girly scream as he fires off the gun.

BLAM!


COCK


BLAM!

Yo, what the fuck nigga?

Sammy lowers the barrel of his gun as he looks on in confusion.

Louis?

Suddenly Louis Pryce emerges from the dark confines of the distant bushing holding his ass and limping as though he may have been struck by a bullet.

Yeah Sammy! Da fuck is wrong with you? You really so racist that you just open fire anytime you see skin darker than yours?

Sammy is oozing with a nervous energy as he tries to plea his case.

No, no, it's not like that. You startled me is all.

Louis snatches the rifle out of Sammy's hands as he begins to shout.

Nervous my ass. You just like every other fucking whitey. Shoot first, ask questions later. At least, if it's a black man, right?

No, I swear, I didn't know that was you… Sammy pauses for a moment, contemplating the situation. Suddenly his demeanor changes from nervous and apologetic to angry. Wait a fucking minute, what were you doing in those bushes anyway? I didn't even tell you what I was doing tonight!

You didn't have to nigga! When I saw you leavin’ the hotel with that rifle, dressed the way you are, I knew exactly what you were up to!

Oh yeah? And what am I up to Louis, huh? What reason would I possible have to come out to the woods with a rifle dressed the way that I am?

There is an awkward silence as the two men stare at one another. Finally Louis tosses out his accusation.

You out here to meet up with yo Klan brothers ain't ya?

Sammy seems genuinely shocked by that accusation.

You probably planning on lynching a nigga too, right?

What? Fuck no! I only came out here because I saw the Sugay Sisters first promo for our match!

Wait, they actually tryin’ to come at us?

Yeah, but honestly, we both new they would show up once they got their first good look at Dem Niggaz, cause we simply irresistable!

True dat, but what do the Sugay Sisters cutting a promo have to do with you out in the woods carrying that pansey rifle?

Well, as I was trying to explain before you scared the shit out of me. I’m out here hunting for their charisma. Because apparently they’ve lost that shit!

Hol up a minute, who told you they ever had any charisma to begin wit?

Sammy shrugs his shoulders, not really having an answer.

Well, I just assumed…

You know what they say about assuming don’tcha? It makes an ass out of me and you!

I don’t think that’s…

Yo, yo, yo, Sammy listen, what them fine bitches have ta say anyway?

Well I was having trouble staying awake while watching it, but I picked up a few things. Like for instance, apparently we had The Sugay Sister all wrong, they ain’t even human!

Louis raises an eyebrow not know what the fuck Sammy tryin’ to say.

Watch’cha talkin’ bout Sammy?

Apparently them bitches think they future Tag Team Championships!

You mean future Tag Team Champions, right?

You’d think so, but no, they said that they’re future Tag Team ChampionSHIPS!

Louis slowly turns his head to the camera with an expression that scream, “You can’t be serious”.

So hol up, them bitches think they a couple of belts?

I mean, it is what they said.

Louis smiles a sleazy wide smile while nodding his head in approval.

Well shit, if you bitches are a couple of belts, how bout you wrap yo fine asses around our waist?

You know what else? They say they gonna win because they got more history than us!

Nigga please, they what 22? One of them bitches even still in school trying to find her real career cause she know they ain’t no real future for her ass in this business. Not with teams like us around anyway.

Maybe, but I guess our years of thuggin and bugging just don't count in their eyes.

Louis makes that pffft sound as he dismisses the camera with a wave.

Fuck that noise! Me and Sammy been running the streets together for years! Just because we new to the XWF don't mean we lack history!

Yeah, and it ain't like these bitches a couple of grizzled veterans anyway. They just showed up what, a week or two ago?

Uh, I think it's been a little longer than that, but your point still stands little nigga. The Sugay Sisters are still fresh meat in the XWF, just like us! And it ain't like they've been all that dominate either.

Yeah, didn't they recently lose a match to Jenny Myst and her partner of the week?

Awww shiiiiit, you must be playin! They seem to think they can't lose to a team that ain't got no history!

No it happened, I swear!

Well that just blows their who experience argument out the fucking window now don't it?

Not only that, but they bragging about beating Drezdin!

Fucking for real? Everybody beats Drezdin! My grandma-ma can beat Drezdin, and she been dead for years!

Well get this, you know why they brought up Drezdin?

To look retarded as shit?

No, to make a point that size don't matter.

Whaaaat? Nigga, you only four-foot-three, that shit be your whole deal! Midget ass, micro-penis motherfucker!

Sammy shies away from the camera in embarrassment as he mutters.

You could've left my cock out of it, but yeah!

Sammy, nothin’ but love bruh, for real. Anyway how stupid these bitches be? I bet they even tried to talk about how they a better team than us just cause they sisters of some shit.

You know what, I think they actually said that, more or less.

Nooooo, please tell me you clownin dawg!

No, I'm dead serious. They said that they have organization and leadership. Two things that they think we lack.

Are you kidding me? Sammy who the brains of this outfit?

You are!

And?

And I am!

And why is that?

Cause we share the same brain?

Fucking right we do! We so closely bonded that Sammy and I are like brothers! No, we more than brothers!

Yeah, we’re soul mates!

Louis throws his hands up motioning Sammy back.

Whoa now, hol up! Don't be tryin to tell people we soul mates an shit!

I'm just saying…

Nah, I know what you sayin’ and I'm sayin’ and don't! Listen, we ain't no soulmates, Sammy just get carried away sometimes. What we is though, is two G’s with a bond stronger than even blood!

I saved his life!

Damn right he did! I was choking on a McNugget this one time, and if it weren't for Sammy, I'd be a goner for sure! And why you did that Sammy?

Cause I thought you were white?

Louis looks deeply into the camera.

You hear that? You know what that is? Sammy the most racist little fuck you ever did meet, but he saved my life cause he thought I was white. You know what that say about us? That say that our bond so strong, that Sammy can't even see the color in my skin! That say everything you need to know bout how tight we is.

Well, to be fair you are light skinned. Plus you dress pretty nice, so it’s not like it was easy to tell at first.

Shut up Sammy, don't step on my point! Now, what else those skanks have to say?

Nothing much.

Come on Sammy! They wait this late to open they mouths, they gotta have something more to say!

Well…

Spit it out!

They said I don't know anything about hard times, probably because I'm white, and neither of us know hustle cause we ain't from the Bronx.

Louis takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself before speaking.

Let me ask you girls a question. What in the fuck do being white gotta do with anything? You bitches think that just because he white, he can't have had shit tough? Like he didn't get bullied for looking so unusual growin’ up? Like he didn't endure years of torment because of that stank ass breath that be blowing out his mouth twenty-four-seven? Or how about the fact that Sammy has trouble finding work cause everyone think he slow an shit? That ain't hard times? You still think this nigga got it easy? Then what about all the years of incest rape he endured as a child?

WHAT? I wasn't raped!

You ain't be raped by yo daddy?

NO!

Mama?

NO!

Not even an uncle?

Fuck no! Where are you getting this shit from?

I thought all white boys got raped by they family? Like a rite of passage or some shit!

That's just fucking ridiculous!

My bad bruh! Point is, Sugay Sisters, and those other hillbilly biker bitches best reevaluate they situations, cause ain’t nothing in they future but getting fucked by Dem Niggaz!

Sammy turns to the camera and makes a motorboat sound with his mouth as the scene fades to black.

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The following 3 users Like Samuel Madison's post:
Muddy Waters (09-28-2017), Doctor Louis D'Ville (09-28-2017), Theo Pryce (09-29-2017)
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