OOC: I had 2500 words and was clicking post when my computer restarted for updates. I wrote this after but it is not the same. I hope you all like it and Michelle I have enjoyed the battle this week. Best of luck!

Dear Diary:

In the words of Ice Cube, "today was a good day." I got a lot done. Shopping, getting some new ring gear, galavanting with my fans. I felt free, happy and alive. There is a growing suspicion in me, however, that this belt is going to continue to allude me until I get a fair shot one on one.

I am not the type of girl to make excuses. Everything I have done in my life, I have earned or I have fucked up on my own. Even my relationship with Chris. I see what Michelle has with mark and inherantly, I am jealous. It is part of our nature, is it not? We are jealous creatures. We all want what someone else has until we have it. I think human nature and curiosity gets the best of us sometimes. Jealousy is a hell of a drug. Everyone here is jealous of me, and that is why they don't want me at the top. I am jealous too, of things. We all are. Girls like Michelle try to pretend they are perfect.

But sometimes to be perfect, you have to know what it feels like to be broken.

Some people won't know or understand that. You have to live it. I live vicariously through the people I am lucky enough to call fans. They live through me. It is cool, actually. I just wish I still had Chris to spend it with?

Should I call him?

I need to be strong. I need to do this on my own. Sometimes a girl has to prove herself to herself before she can worry about proving herself to someone else. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. I am a rollercoaster of emotions, I know this, but I have been working on being strong. I think sometimes you need to fail in order to succeed. There may be a conspiracy against me, but I need to fight through it and at the end of the day hold my head up because I know that I gave everything I could and someone elses jealousy got in the way of their being legit.

It is okay.

It is all okay.

You see this is all deja vu. I have seen this game before. I have climbed mountains bigger than this one and looked down from the summit with a smile. This week is no different.

Have you ever wondered what it is lie to die? I have thought about it on several occasions. There is blood dripping on this page from my wrist.

Another pretty girl gone.

But another devil born.

A jezebel and proud. Accepting of my new role.

Excited for the future.

Over the past.

A true bombshell.......

Atomic......



"Michelle.....

You're right. It is Dejavu. Another self righteous, full of her self twat trying to accuse me of the same thing. I just think it is funny that you call me a walking contridiction. You claim to have all this success and all this history but you claim the belt you have around your waist makes rookies into legends. Is that what it did to you? Do you feel like your higher than everyone else now because you wear a piece of metal around your waist? I bet you do. I'm the arrogant one? It was humbling for me at King of the Ring, Michelle. It was. But what was even more humbling was that I wasn't the first one given a rematch. You think I hate Roxy for any other reason than she is a conniving bitch who needs to get her way? Save that noise sister. I will speak however I want about Roxy because I tell it how it is. You think she cares about you? Your mistaken. She cares only about herself and her little washed up rock star wanna be man friend. Hell I think in the right situation she would throw him into traffic also. You are far too concerned about what I do and say, and not my skill in the ring. You seem to be backed against the wall. You are trying to councel me with some sort of therapy session, when you know that your time is limited. I don't represent the Bombshell Division? Tell that to may of my fans.

Speaking of the fans......you claim I don't understand the fans trials and tribulations because I expect them to be like me? I don't expect anything. I am blessed to have them and honestly shocked. They have stuck by me thick and thin, no matter how many there are. Here is the difference. I am out there, I am visible. You sit behind a web cam and expect them to send you questions and verbally lick your taint. Many of my fans have the same afflictions you claim yours do, the difference is I give them a way out of it. I give them a way to feel better about themselves, even a little bit. You sit there and put them below you, expecting they are your fans----I do my own thing and let them like me if they want to. I understand their trials and tribulations because I have lived most of them. I know what they feel---all you know if what questions pop up on your screen. Trying to counsel me on how to interact with my fans?

Please.

I have been through so much. You want to call me a little girl? Cool. Well this little girl is about to school the big bad woman who thinks she knows it all. I have stood toe to toe with bonified legends here and have held my own. I have never been out of my league. It is humourus to me that everyone here seems to think I suck for some reason. I think you all know what I can do and you hurl these childish insults at me to mask your own insecurities about me being better than you at every facet of life.

I am not suitable for this? What is a female wrestlers role? Be able to hold your own in the ring. Check. Look good while doing it. Check. Sell merch. Check. Sell tickets. Check. I exell in every facet of this game. And that is why they hate me. They fear me. You fear me. Roxy fears me. You all know that if I ever win this belt I am never letting it go. You do promos from the toilet because you don't care, you have management endorsement. I do promos with makeup on because I want to prove I give a fuck.

I want to show how much this means to me.

You expect to win. I need to win. An animal backed into a corner is much more dangerous than the animal doing the backing.

You seem to be embarrassed that I pointed out your little bathroom promo. You got real defensive about that. Throwing empty words about me about taking selfies in various places. Yes, I have taken bathroom selfies too....


"Don't worry, I washed my hands. Apparently you are the one who think your crap doesn't stink. Though, with that duck face you were making, I am not entirely sure. I never said a word about how long winded you are, but with the length of that promo and the time you spent on the toilet, you must have a good set of lungs on you! I am just glad you said what you needed to say, that you got it all out. How can someone who spent that much time on a toilet still be so full of shit?"

She laughs to herself.

"Shit!

Ahh! There I go again!"

She laughs and snorts a little.

"But for real, I will try to be on your level and "keep it adult." So moving on....wipe the slate clean."

She falls back on the bed laughing.

"I'm sorry, you just make it so easy. Oh, and by the way, its poo poo poo, not boo boo boo, sweety. I see you didn't pay as much attention to that song as you did my match at King of the Ring."

She adjusts the webcam.

"My grandma never said anything about assumptions, Michelle. But what she did say was life is too short to not have fun. So why not have a little fun at your expense? What she asshole said was that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one! You showed that to be true as well......."

"Ahhahahaha.....sorry. This is just too much fun. You see, Michelle. That was one of my big knocks. I was too serious, too intense in my match at King of the Ring. I was pulling my hair out worrying about the pressure of being the first ever Bombshell Champion. I should have been looser, calmer, had a little more fun. Admittedly, I was nervous. I have grown since then. Sometimes the secret to victory is defeat, Michelle. Apparently, you paid a good deal of attention to my match at King of the Ring. I knew it smelled like shit in there! Regardless. You obviously didn't pay as much attention to it as you claim to have. If you did, you would have seen that I dominated from the opening bell. You would have seen that I was the star of the night. You would have known that Abigail won on a loophole. You would have seen the fear in her eyes as she saw my dominance overtaking her and an inevitale loss coming. You would have seen the desperation in her eyes. You would have seen my get screwed by a technicality and my fake "friend" Madison who screwed me over when it mattered most. You would have seen my put my body on the line and the scared little girl Abigail is do nothing but survive the carnage.

She pinned Ezariaha because she had to. She can't beat me. She knew it. She had to "beat me" by not actually beating me. If there is any deja vu here it is from you. You see the same thing but with you in her place. You need another reason as to why you are a paper champion, a place holder? Michelle, have you wondered why this match was made a triple threat? You called me out specifically.....you didn't call out Kim Anderson. You called me out but you weren't given me, were you? No. You see, this match is a triple threat because of booking. There is a clear conspiracy going on to keep me away from that belt, but nobody can beat me straight up. Michelle this match is designed for you to pin Kim Anderson and sneak out of there as the champion. You are nothing more than another cheap win. You are not meant to be any more than another excuse as to why Jenny Myst isn't the champion.

You claim diversity......but do you want to know why you are really here? Your here because of "diversity". This division would, as you say, plummet with me at the top. Why? Because I would be the only one left. That doesn't matter to me, frankly, as long as I have the belt I don't care who is below me. Just know that while you have all of this "experience" and "history", you were hired back as nothing more than a pawn in the chess game . This match is going to go one of two ways. I am going to kick your ass and take my title. Or you are going to find a way to eek out a 3 count over Anderson and escape as the champion. You won't beat me, because you can't beat me. So you are right, this is Deja Vu. You are Abigail. You see her in the mirror. You see that you and her are one in the same. What has Abigail done since the Pay Per View? Nothing, because she did her job. She even said it....she had a job to do. Keep me from winning the belt. You have a job to do as well, but unlike Abigail, I am privy to the game now. You are going to have to pin me to beat me, Michelle. The ball is in your court, the challenge is yours. Just know when you step into that ring that you are nothing more than a champion ONLY because someone at the top doesn't want me to be, and not because of any real skill.

You are paying far more attention to how I talk and what I say than my ability in the ring. I am not green anymore. I can make shit jokes all I want because this is a game of who can talk more. Get it? But when that bell rings, it comes down to whose the better bitch.

You had better re-watch the tape, Michelle. Re-watch the match. Learn it. Study it. Become it. Because if you don't, and you make the smallest mistake, I am going to tear your head off. Stop being a counselor, and focus on being a wrestler.

I hope you did take that belt everywhere. I hope you do still. Take it out to dinner. Wine it, dine it. Cherish it. Tell it you love it. Snuggle it tonight. Then be prepared to have a teary eyed goodbye.

Michelle much to what you have been led to believe, I have never been more ready for something in my life.

Keep it warm for me, because after tomorrow, it will be around the waist of Perfection.

PERFECTION PERSONIFIED