"Girl, let me tell you, these two are a piece of work. They are legit little girls in big girl panties. Did they try to hit me with the opinions are like assholes line? Hehehehahaha, my grandpa used to say that."

"Such trash."

"It's a shame that THIS is what is popular. I bet they are the girls who go to the club and bust out stripper moves on the dance floor to songs that don't warrant it."

"Totally."

Jenny sat on the bed in her luxury hotel room, swirling a glass of Moet champagne. She was well into the bottle.

"These two little whores sure have a lot to say....did you see their new promo? Another snoozefest."

Adjusting the webcam, we could see Jenny was wearing only a long tee shirt and a lacy pink thong, matching her tips on her hair.

She had her cell phone propped up between her shoulder and her ear. Who she was talking to, however, was unclear.

"These two think there is some sort of sex appeal to being able to check "Pacific Islander" on applications. Like there is something exotic. Then they open their mouths and they are nothing more than tanned trashy white girls who use words like rachet and tell us to keep it 100 fam."

There was a laugh on the other line.

"They are the type of chicks who like terrible hip hop and try to tell you that Dj Khaled made the Wild Thoughts beat. They smile and people eat it up. Its sickening."

Sitting up and pouring some more of the bubbly, she smiles big into the camera.

"And Jim Caedus? Oh my god."

"Girl don't even get me started."

"I mean, you'd think they'd be trying to fuck James Raven.....heh, they can't even gold dig properly!"

"These two sluts need a lesson in dick choice."

"Agreed, totally. Who you fucking nowadays anyways?"

"Psssht, thats for me to know...."

"Honestly.....I would strike you as more of a trucker fucker than either of these two high maintenance spring breakers.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It is supposed to mean you look like you'd fuck truckers."

"Ummm....bitch you look like a high school cheerleader going through a mid-life crisis!"

"Oooh, thats a good one!"

"I know."

"It's bad enough they look like they could be the maids at one of those sleazy hotels."

The voice on the other line goes high pitched.

"House keeping! House keeping! Oh damn.....I need to snapchat this!"

Both the women laugh.

"But for real, we can insult each other all night. Lets talk gameplan. Your Wal-Mart phone is probably running low on minutes."

"Keep talking, see where it gets you."

"You have my back, right?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Well, yeah. This could very easily b 3 on 1."

"Listen I hate those cunts just as much as you do. I want to show them what being a bitch really is. I want to show them that sex appeal isn't just short skirts....it is being tough as well. I will make it a personal goal of mine to kick one of their heads off their shoulders."

"Which one do you call?"

"The ugly one"

"Then which one do I get?!"

"You know, you are a quick thinking little bitch. Evil to the core. I like it."

"Get in line."

"For real though, these do-nothing bitches are about to learn that life isn't just VIP bottle service and backroom DJ blowjobs."

"I look forward to it. But don't forget....I can pack a punch too."

"Yeah, yeah....."

"Yeah yeah.....you found that out at the house show."

"Yep. Look, I gotta run. Trust me, though, I got your back this one time. Don't expect this to be an ongoing theme."

"Ditto."

The line clicks as Jenny pours the remainder of the bottle into the wine glass before adjusting the camera.


"You two are the epitome of do nothing bitches. You yap and yap like ankle biting dogs that see a squirrell but when you find it, you have no idea what to do with it. Sure, you have all these accolades in WWE---but you're in a whole new universe now. You're in MY universe now. You can have all the giddy back and forths that you want, but you are the ones who need to learn what trust is. You keep wondering if you can trust Shelby to be a friend--trust me she's a friend of neither of us--but you trust each other? What will happen to the happy little family when one of you takes the pin fall? What will happen when one of you doesn't get the job done, or costs the other the match? Hell I wouldn't put it past you two to have a pillow fight and Facebook live the entire thing. You're nothing but jokes, and I have said it all along. You think you are cute and sexy but the entire locker room is laughing at you. Jim Caedus, he couldn't get laid in the Bronx Zoo, so he had to find a bird willing to dive on the grass pile. I mean, for real, that has to be like bobbing for apples in a haystack.

Gross.

I am glad you recognize greatness when you see it. Glad you can see perfection through those half squinted eyes of yours from whatever third world country your family floated here from, but you forgot a few major ones. How convinient. On the topic of jokes, something you two can relate to, you forgot my triple threat vs. Obsidian Air and Reeve Alexandra Gordon or the triple threat versus Ezariaha and Wren Silverphoenix. What's the matter, slip your mind? How about my first win over Ravenwolf, or making Joshua Reno submit. I figured since you two want to point out my wins over clowns, I'd help you out a little. You're welcome.

I am surpised you didn't attack my losses---other than your master Roxy, of course. Oh yeah you shoved that down my throat like a Jim Caedus morning wood. What can I say? Roxy was better on that day, but its over. You want to keep living in the past? Okay. Let's talk about my other failures. You forgot that I was the last one eliminated in a battle royal way back when and almost took Jack Cain over the ropes with me. You forgot I held my own against Thaddeus Duke.

I have stepped up to the bigges and baddest competition here, without fear, and win or lose I fought with all I had. I made an impression. But what did you say? "' A bitch from prison hardly cares where the money originated!” I don't care who it is, I am going to stand toe to toe and give it my all, conspiracy against me or not.

But that's right......this is my first match, right? You thought I forgot those words left your lips......

I don't forget anything.

'Bitchy Myst is a conniving manipulative little bitch who might try to pay Shelby to be her new friend!'

I don't need friends, I would rather pay to have enemies because eventually all your friends become an enemy anyway.

'Shelby, you might be able to kick Jenny’s ass on your best day'

And she has proven that how? I have to ask Dawn, were you dropped on your head as a child? I mean I know growing up in the projects isn't the best childhood environment, but Jesus Christ I didn't think someone could be as dumb as you are. Is your ass jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?

Let me guess, you're gonna tell me girls don't poop either, right?

Hashtag flawlessbum!

Hashtag you're a more see through than Plexiglas.


You still believe you didn’t lose the match because Abigail didn’t pin you. Well, if you didn’t win and didn’t lose—what do you call it?”

I wish I had enough crayons to explain this to you......let me try with words. I wasn't pinned. I was supposed to win that match. You know that little conspiracy that you guys have to fuck my life over at every possible opportunity? Yeah, well I had one of those conspiracies too. Madison was supposed to "call it down the middle", as long as it was my middle. She called a very Jenny-approved match until Abigail made the pin. Then, where was she? I didn't lose, because I wasn't beat. You can call it what you want, Dawn, but I am going to put it on my backstage page and swallow the L I don't deserve. That is what true champions do. I can't wait until Shelby ad I kick your asses six ways to Sunday tomorrow night and watch the family unravel.

I have tasted victory here, and I have tasted defeat. It isn't victories that make you truly successful in the end, it is the defeats. Trust me.

Philosophical shit, I know.

Wayyyy over your heads.

I am going to teach you two some lessons on Savage. All you are...both of you...are do nothing bitches who expect things to be handed to you because you answer to a superior whose boy-toy happens to wear the same size panties she does. Me, submissive? All I have heard about now for three promos is how great Roxy is. Roxy this and Roxy that.......

Hmm.....

Let me try to come up with a Sugay type line here.......

Oh....yeah.......

If you like Roxy so much, why don't you marry her!

#DoubleTroubleTypeShit!

That's about at your intellectual level.

Now if you don't mind I am going to get some sleep. Beauty rest, you could call it. Not that I need it.......

But you know.....

Girl stuff.