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JimCaedus · (08-30-2017)

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"While You Were Cosplaying and Cryin'"

::BLACK::

::We hear all-too-rare laughter from Jim Caedus::

"Awwwwww...are we angwy now widdle man? Keep on drinkin'

...somethin' tells me it's about to get worse.

Hey John? While you were hidin' out in the shadows for nigh on two weeks like the yellowbellied-High-Plains-Sister-For-a-Few-Spells-More-Deputy-Fairy-Potter-or-is-it-Sheriff-Ass-in-Army-o'-Dorkness bitch you are, followed by jackin' off through that Dungeons & Dragons: The Bad, The Worse & The Kill Yourself Clint EastBeatwood edition of A Day in the Life of an Idiot who thinks a person with pale skin and "BLACK HAIR" could "almost just disappear" into the scenery of an all-white room (dumbass) then shittin' out that stillborn bullshit you thought was a solid final salvo...I got to thinkin' 'bout how you and the majority o' my rostermates interact with me, whether it be passing in the halls or doling out in a donnybrook for a match.

What is it about Jim Caedus?

What is it exactly that paints Jim as the number one target in this business? What allure does he hold over the best and the brightest? What magnetism exists drawing the attention of the half-assed? What je ne sais quoi doth pull the definitive dregs his way? The Kings call him irrelevant yet he clearly has the ability to command both their time and attention. The others...well... Let's explore it all, shall we?"

THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST

"The Kings are drawn to debate with the Star Killer because Jim Caedus stands as one of few names on the roster with the ability to defeat them. This leads to their failed attempts to discredit Caedus, to try wearing him down (one man... One. Man.) as a _team_ of somehow proud Legends. This also leads others like Blingsteen to exhibit just how little respect they have for their opponents and themselves by stooping to the cheapest, most cowardly and dishonorable of tactics. Why? Because Jim Caedus is NOT unbeatable but he IS one of the few names EVERYONE in the business wishes to add to their tally sheet under the win column. Sounds awfully relevant, no? One thing (in context with The Kings and Blingsteen) being Jim Caedus damn sure never leads to is a one on one with a fresh and ready to go Star Killer, deigning to play by honorable terms. These are the type of men YOU, John Holliday, sought to gain support from in the most embarrassing of ways: outright ass-kissery and an unwise butting into our argument. These are the "role models" you seek to mold yourself after.

John...is the Uni Title among them? Who held it last? Was it Jim Caedus with his aforementioned honor? Yes. Yes it was. Who holds it now, your heroes? No. Is it James Raven, the man who, like Jim Caedus, prides himself on facin' the enemy without the easy benefit o' shady tactics and nothing more than his god-given talent? A man who, again like Jim Caedus, WILL fight fire with fire if he must to teach opponents the valuable lesson of "two can play that game"? A man who WILL face Jim Caedus when the time comes like a fuckin' warrior? Yes. Yes it is.

Any o' this subtext gettin' through to you, youngster?

No one among The Kings will EVER be able to boast the accolades James Raven can and none among them can ever claim to achieve what _I_ have _as_ I have, suffering both the private and professional life I've endured as a highly flawed, unlucky, nigh-ever persona non grata among the ranks of nearly EVERY promotion in which I've competed. Hell, even here in the XWF I seem to absorb more than my fair share o' bullying and special attention via jealous assholes. And yet...I've flourished and I've proven how much one man this goddamn good can do in the face of overwhelming odds. But you...you run your tongue o'er the taints o' those who said RIGHT IN FRONT O' YOUR FACE all you are is fodder for an easy Caedus win. You say you were "networking". John...you were kissing ass, you wanted in and you got rejected anyway because The Kings don't need a link as weak as you when they've already got Cadryn to carry their bags. Get over yourself. You're a joke. You're misguided. You're a blind follower. You're gonna get your ass handed to you in our Xtreme Rules match because you make irrational decisions and you fail to identify and understand who it is you're facing. You refuse to take me seriously...and it's gonna cost you."

THE HALF-ASSED

"Herein lies the middle ground wherein you'll find a man you laud by proxy through The Kings: Jester Cadryn. Cadryn is obsessed with me. Has been since he got oh so close to defeating me followed by four more epic failures in a row to land himself anything other than a loss by my hands. This is why he calls me out. This is why he tries to make me look bad outside o' the ring. This is why he sucks by comparison. He and those like him who pursue opportunities to throw salt in my game and support those who do, they pull this shit outta jealousy. They don't think I deserve anything I've worked for, anything I've earned. They think THEY deserve it. They hate me, John, like you do...because they can never _be_ me. They side with those like The Kings because, well, isn't it obvious? The Kings hold sway, hold power...they hold control. Jim Caedus? He holds nothin' in context, why NOT side with those in power to gang up on one man with the talent to tear 'em all the fuck down? It's the path of least resistance for the purpose of eradicating those who don't fall in line with The Kings. You throw in with _those_ type o' people, pussy. You're weak. You're afraid. You're jealous. You're gonna bleed in our Xtreme Rules match tomorrow night because you're a coward lookin' for the easy way out...and there AIN'T no easy way out with Caedus. Ever."

THE DREGS

"This is where you reside,

. You ain't bottom o' the barrel...but you're dregs all the same. The dregs come in two forms: the self aware and the unjustifiably arrogant. You represent the latter. Now John don't get me wrong...you lead an interesting Ghosts n' Goblins n' Gunslingers life...but you ain't anywhere near the level o' talent it takes to topple me. You ain't even in the same fuckin' zip code, cocksucker. Still...what is it you do? You call me out in an argument with Doc and Cadryn and make me the exception to an accepted form of trash talk nearly every single currently active big name themselves utilize. You know why? Because you think you have what it takes to best me, the former Universal Champion, the motherfucker who's so "irrelevant" The Kings en masse need to tag in and out in revolving door douchebaggery day in day out in an effort to smear my name and growing legacy...and you thought they'd protect you or at the very LEAST advise you. Now...though I wouldn't put it past them to have done just that, it's seems more than likely you've been studying up on the styles o' those who've defeated me. You've shown yourself to be a campin' ass spineless fuck in donnybrookin' like John Samuels and Brucette Blingsteen but you also exhibit what makes the likes o' Guppy so successful with his unique I-can't-trash-talk-for-shit-so-I'll-just-unleash-a-cavalcade-o'-cartoony-nonsense verbal fisticuff strategy with your utterly POINTLESS in EVERY relevant way to our match first vignette...somethin' I'm sure you thought would provide me no sort o' avenue to fight back. Here's the problem with your logic: you can't be in the dregs, you hafta be GOOD for that to work on me and you hafta be the FIRST to do it...I don't fall for the same curve ball twice, twat, and you ain't savvy enough to carry out, much less capitalize on, those kinda shithead shenanigans. You're deluded. You're out-matched. You're out-classed. You're gonna lose tomorrow night, John, because you overestimate your skill and underestimate my own. You're gonna try your best but as a member of the dregs your best will NEVER be as good as mine. Your best ain't even hard enough to derail me on half a tank o' gas, asshole. You're gonna overlook what I'm capable of in the ring...and with Xtreme Rules in affect I'm gonna beat the shit outta you and take you by surprise when it matters most to secure the victory.

Jag-off, while you were silently biding your time..."

::pre-recorded footage of Jim racking up reps in the gym, pressing 350 pounds, plays::

"...I was pumping iron to ensure I'll be tearin' you limb from limb with ease in the ring.

While you were wasting away for weeks..."

::pre-recorded footage of Jim viewing Holliday's miniscule XWF in-ring experience plays::

"...I was scouting you out to familiarize myself with what little you have to oppose me.

While you were dickin' around gettin' your ass kicked by warlocks..."

::pre-recorded footage of Jim in a ring with 3 men roughly Holliday's size, weight and skill level plays::

"...I was trainin' my ass off to guarantee I'd have the stamina and the mindset to take. You. Down.

And John...my personal favorite..."

::FADE IN on Jim from the waist up in his shower at home, a shit eating grin monopolizing his face::

"While you were wakin' up to discover you're now the personal bitch o' "Lady Seras"...while you've been plotting your next ineffectual move then carrying it out in GOD AWFUL, clichéd "you've done a hundred times more in this business and this promotion than I ever have and ever will but I'll say you've done nothing of note anyway", botch-heavy-vignette (what about my promo was cut in half, DUMBFUCK?) to-the-extent-I-need-not-poke-holes-in-it-after-you-so-gloriously-fucked-it-up-yourself in "Gay Lumberjack" along with that plethora o' cut-and-paste insults I've literally heard a dozen times or more, thinkin' you're entertaining someone and movin' in for the kill..."

::None other than the luscious Tala Sugay enters frame, nude, to join Jim in the shower. She and he embrace, sharing a passionate kiss. When it ends, Tala wraps her arms around Jim's neck, smiling into the lens, pressing her perfect breasts into his bare chest::

"...I was moving in on and entertaining this LEGIT goddess, Tala Sugay. You know, of The Sugay Sisters? Of _course_ you know, you approached them with good luck wishes for their match on Savage. You were the one losin' your shit and sprayin' your spurs with prejac over their initial interest in allying with you, before the _real_ prospect walked by, and you were also the one who failed to close on either sister. Yeah that's right you pissant piece o' shit...I hear someone OTHER than you has already caught the eye o' Tala's sister. You got beaten to the punch by the better man...and now you look like a fuckin' loser and a reject for the SECOND TIME with your "networking" horseshit. But...you _are_ a loser when it comes to the better men. You _are_ a loser when it comes to proving yourself worthy o' the attention o' the ladies. You _are_ a loser in everything relating to Jim Caedus. You. Are. A. Loser.

It's ok though John, there's still plenty o' penetration to be had...of course, the catch is, you're the one about to get fucked. Your "Holliday Season"...it's gonna end with Jim Caedus jingle-ballsdeep. Bitch."

::Tala winks before she pulls the opaque blue shower curtain across the tub. We hear her giggle before-

STATIC::

Tagged: Tala Sugay <3 back atcha

Boned: John Holliday

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