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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Revelations Part 1
Author Message
Chris Chaos Offline
Corporate Chaos



XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


#1
08-25-2017, 01:30 AM

OOC: Barney gave me permission to use Randi as well as approved any story I plan to use regarding her......not sure why. Well, I did. Game on, fatass!

[Image: fqwOtpH.jpg]

"I got a voicemail from you earlier, you wanted me to call you back. Here I am."

"Thank you for calling me back, Chris. I thought maybe you'd just ignore me."

"I got your package, and those photos--holy hell how could I ignore those?!"

"I am glad you liked them."

"Who wouldn't?"

Her voice was smooth, soothing in a way. It was Randi on the line, Barney's squeeze.

"So, why seek me out?"

"Well, I see you have Barney Green this week in some sort of extreme rules match......"

"Your point?"

"He is crazy."

"So am I."

"No, for real. He used to hit himself in the head for fun. Literally punch himself in the face."

"That's not crazy, girl. He has never seen crazy."

"Look--he has nothing to lose. Nothing left in life that he cares about. He is going to come at you with everything he has and with reckless abandon. Barney literally has no moral compass holding him back. He no longer has anything left to love."

"Well....except food, apparently...."

He chuckled to himself.

"No, but for real, I am ready. You clearly don't know me from a name on a piece of paper, but I am Barney Green's worst nightmare. His worst case scenario. I am his judge, jury and his goddamn executioner."

She scoffed a bit on the other line, it sounded as though maybe she was outside and there was a hint of wind.

"Look--Barney doesn't know about this phone call. He has been relapsing lately. He has been sinking deeper into his old ways. I am nervous. I just want what is best for him, I hope you know this.....and at this point, what is best for him, in my opinion, is for you to end this nonsense. He has had multiple ankle surgeries, he is missing an eye, countless other injuries. I think making him reconsider ever getting back in that ring would be doing what is best for him."

"You sound like you care about him."

"I care about the life we have. I care about our son, Mark. I care about him having a father when he grows up."

"Well, Randi, that is my plan....to make him wish he never rolled off his flatbed and put his socks on."

"....I just, I wish he would retire."

"So let me ask....why are you with Barney Green? Why is a girl who looks like you, with a body like yours, with the Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man?"

"Barney is actually a good provider, believe it or not. He had some financial issues back in 2010...bank stuff, lost his production company, had to move. When I found him, he was restarting back in his home town. He showered me with gifts, and gave me access to everything."

"Most men with tiny dicks do."

"...and I literally had anything I wanted whenever I wanted it. He didn't make much but he made enough to keep me happy."

"So what you're saying is that you're a gold-digging whore?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"And wait, back up......Barney has a child? Barney Green has.....a...child?"

Chris opened his slider door, walking out onto his porch. Lighting a Cuban Cigar and setting his gin and tonic on the marble table, he looked out at the intercoastal.

"Yes. A son, named Mark. He is five."

"Whoa, hold up....I don't give a seagull shit how old he is.....Barney Green has a kid?! You actually slept with that tugboat?!"

There was no answer on the other line.

"Randi....you actually fucked him didn't you?"

There sounded like shuffling on the line.

"I did."

Chris broke out laughing. He couldn't contain it. He laughed so hard he had to set his drink back down without taking a sip because he wouldn't have been able to swallow it.

When he composed himself, he finally spoke again.


"Randi....I need to know. I NEED to know. How was it?!"

He broke out laughing again.

"It was how you imagine it was."

Her voice was oddly stern on the other side of the phone.

"How could a man with a dick that small even achieve penetration much less soil your loins with his semen? Did you even know it was in?"

She sighed on the other side of the line. This was all a joke to him, and she knew it. Barney Green was a joke to him.

And she knew that too.

But the conversation continued.


"I faked it a lot of the time."

"I'd imagine."

"I mean the sex was...bad, really....really bad. But he kept his credit cards paid. He painted houses while wrestling in several different companies to keep it that way.....to keep....well....me."

Chris grinned.

"So gold-digging whore. Thought so. Makes sense though, there is no way a guy like that could keep a girl like you without at least a little bit of money."

"It wasn't THAT much."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I am going to send Barney back home to Boston--to you and his son...he will never want to wrestle agin I promise you......"

".....about that...."

"About what?"

"Mark."

Chris just assumed that was the name of his douchebag kid, who was probably overweight also, so he didn't feel the need to ask.

After a long pause....


".....Mark.....well....Mark.....isn't his."

Chris spit his drink out.

"His money was running low and Barney was always on the road. We were living in some shithole in Roxbury and I just sensed that he was close to leaving......I needd a reason to for him to stay......"

"So you're a lying, gold-digging whore?"

"I had needs. You can understand needs, right?"

He could understand needs. Unfortunately, he could understand them all too well.

"So, whose is it?"

"Mark is his brother, Robert's, son."

Chris couldn't contain his smile.

"This is too good....."

"It gets better."

"Hmmmm?"

"Open your door."

Chris set his drink down, and walked towards his front door. Opening it, he saw her standing there. Randi, in all of her blonde haired glory, in a short skirt and a tank top.

"I figured the rest of this conversation could be finished in person?"

"Nothing wrong with a little pillow talk."

He ushered her inside and shut the door.


TO BE CONTINUED.

[Image: iT3DuyQ.jpg][Image: iT3DuyQ.jpg]

"What I had the displeasure of staring at was the epitome of tool, through and through. A man who uses a cut rate cover of a classic song in a promo featuring a guy he probably wants to fuck and a girl who would never give him a second look. How many times did you have to get the tweasers out, locate your dick in your marsh-mellow scrotum, and yank one out to her? Quite frankly, Barn, her eyes are spaced too far apart and her face looks like a goat......she isn't attractive at all and even SHE wouldn't let the XWF's resident bouncy house have a pass.

But it was a nice touch, at least the song made the promo watchable.

Welcome to the boner dome? That may just seal the deal right there.....you're a frustrated gay man who takes out his gay fat aggression in the ring. Maybe getting your ass kicked really is a sick fetish of yours? Maybe you really do have a few screws loose. You may be the only man on planet earth who is proud of a micropenis.

Hey whatever floats your boat.

I think it is clear what is going on here, Barney. You're Mick Foley. You've got all the stages. The depressing fat guy who doesn't even like himself. The overzealous disco-burn out who couldn't rip up the floor at a senior citizens mixer, and a "hardcore legend" who is only remembered for getting his ass handed to him in the biggest moments. Everyone has a legacy, Barn, and yours is being nothing more than a heavy bag with split personality disorder.

You're the guy who ranks getting piss drunk on cheap beer and being the world champion a half decade ago as the same thing---life accomplishments. You consumed 40 beers in 20 minutes....is being a glutton supposed to make anyone proud of you? Is being the Guiness Book of World Records largest lush supposed to be something I should pat you on the back for?

No wonder Randi left you---you are nothing but a loser with no goals other than willingly getting your dick kicked in week in and week out.........it appears, based on what I'm told, that that has already happened. You've gotten your dick kicked in so much that it is nothing more than an inverted vagina. You may be the only person in the world with an innie for a penis. You could be quite the attraction for Modern Marvels. Or possibly even Myth Busters---is Barney Green still biologically a male? Tune in to find out.

You're right. I killed AX3. I plotted to bring four of the top stars in this business together just to drive them apart, all while swooping in an becoming Universal Champion and forcing them to rely on me for any sense of direction. But that didn't happen. Jim Caedus decided to stick a fork in those plans so I decided to blow up those plans like the finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Oooohh too soon?

I don't give a fuck who trusts me and who doesn't. I rose to the top of this roster on my own, became Universal Champion on my own, and made the XWF All-Time Top 50 list in less than a year on my own. I don't need, nor do I want anyone. But go ahead, throw the trust word around. The only person I trust from here on out is myself. And you're correct, the people here probably do trust you more.

How so, you may ask?

Well, if they ever got stuck at sea they could trust you to be a viable floatation device.

If the other XWF Superstars ever get stranded on an isolated island with you, they would trust you---they would have steaks for at least a year!

The other XWF Superstars would trust you to be a landing mat during their top rope training sessons.

Are you getting the point yet, lardo?

The other XWF Superstars will "trust you" to have their back, but not a single one of them will have yours. Why? Because being nice to your face benefits them, Barn. Everyone will say how much of a legend you are and how they enjoy your matches, because they want to feed your ego. They want you to keep coming back so they can keep beating you down. You're an easy target. Nobody likes you--nobody respects you--but everybody damn sure wants to keep you. They smile in your face and dap you up in the locker room, but talk shit about you when you leave the room---you know, when you have to walk sideways through the doorway.

So you're damn right they don't trust me, because they know I won't fall for their games. They know I make the rules in any relationship, and they can't pull over a fast one on me like they do you.

You're so fucking transparent, Barney. You can't see it but we all do. Your little tricks, they are lame and played out.

You have the nonchalant, "so?" attitude. The "so what" argument. You try to deflect insults by hitting them with the "and?". Clever, for the playground. But this is a game that isn't settled with a few colorful cards under the jungle gym....this is a game about who hits hardest in the ring and on the mic and you're second grade comebacks and massively lopsided loss-win record shows that you aren't capable of either. It's no better than"I know you are but what am I?" There are thick-rimmed- glasses wearing, wedgie having nerds in Dolly Waters math class that have better comebacks than you, Barney. Need another reason to drink that Clorox under the sink? There it is.

Maybe I am fucked up here, confused, ya know? I mean, I did spend a year with Jenny and that is enough to bring anyone's intelligence level down.....but let me try to wrap my head around this......I am the one who contradicts myself? Isn't that what they all say about me? Has nobody listened to a Barney Green promo? Jesus it is like listening to a four year old with Asperger's trying to tell you about how their day went.

Here is what I mean:


Barney Green says: I accepted your challenge

But then, after another few paragraphs of useless rambling, Barney Green goes on to say:

You are right. I did call you out.

I mean, am I losing my mind or can Barney Green not even follow his own bullcrap anymore? Maybe he has taken one too many shots to that head of his. He can't even remember who said what to who.......

Barney......do.......I.....need......to......talk.....slower......so......you......can.....follow?

I may not be on a hot streak lately, but you haven't been on a hot streak since Obama's first term. There is a difference between a slump and flat out sucking, Barney. I am in a little bit of a rut, but you couldn't win if you hit the Powerball. THAT is the difference between you and I.


Barney, do me a favor, don't show up. I am going to hurt you, and I am going to hurt you badly. I am going to hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt before. This is a match where there are no rules. A match where I can do whatever I want.

I am a miserable dickhead, but I am a miserable dickhead with this company eating out of the palm of my hand. I have impostors sprouting up with more frequency than the aggressive strain of herpes Graves gave Dolly. Everyone wants to be me, but nobody wants to be you.

You don't even want to be you.

If you could take it all back today and restart like a Nintendo game, you would. Don't even lie. But you embrace your fucked up life and rub your sorrows in our face because you are simply too lazy to change yourself. You could hit a Planet Fitness instead of a Golden Corall. You could eat a salad with some chicken and light dressing instead of a family sized Velveeta Mac N' Cheese. You could get up out of your computer chair for once and go make something of yourself. But no, you sign up to get your ass kicked every once in while and rake in a paycheck to support your tobacco addiction.


I respect Jim Caedus hence why I challenged him. I don't respect you.

So then why did you challenge me? You challenged me not to teach me a little respect but because you know that I can help you. I can finally be the one to end this spiraling ball of hot garbage you call a life and put you on the shelf. You want me to finally make the pain stop. You want a reason to call it a career. You know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can do that. You won't make it to Jim Caedus because even though I may be leaving Warfare in an ambulance, you will be leaving in a body bag.

A wrestler with a little personality who is ready to die. Do you see the irony in that? You said it yourself. You have Jim Caedus as a back up plan in case they are able to defibulate you back to life---but I am going to save Jim Caedus a huge waste of time and put you out of commission myself.

You think you know me, and that is so adorable. You think I was going to pick apart your middle name being Allison? No....no no no Barney. I don't care about your middle name because I don't care about you. Your middle name could be Sarah, Theresa, Courtney or Lisa, you still wouldn't suck any less. So why bother? You having a chicks name for a middle name is just another thing about you that makes you the biggest joke in the XWF.


You call me a loser? Who do you think the fans will remember when we are both gone from this promotion?

People will remember us both. Surely we will both be looked upon as two instrumental pieces of XWF's rich history. Me, for climbing the ranks quicker than anyone else and ascending to glory by hoisting the Universal Championship in one of the most brutal matches in history in only my 4th month in this company. They will remember me for some of the biggest storylines, the most high profile matches, and forever changing, shaping and improving the competition level of professional wrestling as a whole.

They will remember you as a man who needed a DQ to beat DREZDIN.

They will remember you as nothing more than a stunt man whose only claim as being a "legend" was a legendary waste of valuable oxygen and the amount of Chinese children who spent their entire childhood trying to find enough fabric to make your size 60 wrestling tights.


What are you gonna sacrifice, Chaos? What are you willing to lose? What are you willing to give up in order to achieve victory?

I am willing to put my body on the line to take the final breath out of yours. I am coming to our X-Treme Death Match to take my pound of flesh, to cut the fat---literally.

What am I willing to sacrifise?

I guess that question remains to be answered."


38-16-2


1x XWF Universal Champion
1x XWF Trios Champion
The Man Who FINALLY Put Barney Green on the Shelf
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