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The scene opens up inside a huge cathedral, where a funeral is clearly happening.

At the front of the church, bathed in sunlight beaming down through the high arching stained glass windows, is a coffin with an open lid. Lying in that coffin is Joshua Benjamin Reno, known to his millions and millions of fans from the XWF as “The Basic Bitch Doctor.”

There are literally several people in the church, all paying their respects to the great man who was so tragically cut down in life due to the fast-acting superstrain of flesh-eating AIDS Reno contracted by cunt punting Jenny Myst several months prior. The doctors had worked valiantly, but once his blood went septic there was simply no hope of recovery.

A whir echoes through the church.

All seven attendees look up from their smart phones momentarily as a small, sad looking cripple in a motorized wheelchair slowly scooters his way across the marble floor. He rolls past the pews as a single tear rolls down his oddly shaped face, then takes a hard right and crosses in front of the easel next to the casket, which bears a photo of Josh Reno in happier times. In the photo, Joshua is smirking with a giant photoshopped star around his head, and several feet below the photo, neat the floor, the canvas spills over and a single word is typed onto the lowest portion. That word is ‘bitch.’

A snotty sob comes from the mouth of Bilbo Blumpkinz as he solemnly places one hand on the photo of Reno, and the other hand on his slowly bulging crotch. He then rolls to the casket and looks down at Reno’s disfigured (by the AIDS) face.

“Hey buddy… we did it, huh? We said we were going to take over the XWF and destroy AX3, and god damn it, we did it. Every one of those has either quit in shame, like Trax and Robert Main, or lost all their titles and relevancy, like Jim Caedus and Chris Chaos. Nigga we did it. Brucey won the Universal Title. Our bX3 was what was on everyone’s lips, except mine of course, because I absolutely and definitely gave Peter Gilmour a blowjob to prove he was gay, which did definitely happen(click here), so his tiny wiener was what was on my lips.”

Bilbo wipes a tear away from his eye and rubs his dick through his formal shorts.

“Why’d you have to leave me though, dog? I know I wasn’t gay like you wanted me to be, which I proved over and over again by having sex with dozens of different men, raw dog, just to prove I didn’t like it… but couldn’t you stay alive anyway? Or was the heartbreak of knowing you’d never be able to please me with your mouth and or anus no matter how hard you tried just too much for you? FUCK YOU FOR ABANDONING ME JOSHUA RENO!!!”

Bilbo’s voice starts with a thunderous boom, but trickles away into whimpers as he breaks down into tears. He is barely able to unzip his shorts’ fly with one shaking hand, pulling out his turgid cock in its veiny glory.

“Brucette’s gone too, you know. She just…went away. She lost to James Raven who’s probably also gay and I’ll try and find out pretty soon by letting him fuck me in my asshole but totally not being pleasured by it in the least bit, because only homos and queers actually LIKE being assfucked, not straight as hell niggas like me. And you know what? I’m going to have one last match before rolling off into the sunset and pouring out a forty for my fallen homie Joshua Reno, the baddest bitch doctor who ever bitched or doctored. I am dedicating my upcoming rape of some Canadian fruit booty named Kruzer to your memory, dog. This guy calls everyone jive turkey ad thinks it’s cool. It’s like listening to trash talk from a third grader. Or Ghost Tank. Sebastian Duke has more scathing insults than this guy. I saw an upload from Drezdin earlier than put everything Kruzer’s ever said on tape to shame. Barney the Dinosaur singing “I Love You” sounds like Ice Cube rapping “No Vaseline” compared to anything Kruzer has ever uttered… but he thinks he’s some sort of big deal. You should have seen it, fam, he attacked James Raven after the guy won the Universal Champion after like ten years of being retired, one of the biggest moments in XWF history with millions of people watching… AND NOT A SINGLE PERSON GAVE A FUCK. Even Raven no-sold that shit like Gilly after any sort of injury, ever. Literally no one noticed Kruzer or his group of lame even though they inserted themselves fucking EVERYWHERE on this huge show as if it had been booked just for them. . I’m going to keep repeating the word because nothing hurts the feelings of BIG BAD FIGHTING CHAMPION KRUZER more than being casually insensitive to a marginalized percentage of society. Hey Kruzer, fuck Native Americans too, I donated fifteen dollars to help build the DAPL pipeline. Also, women are bad at driving and Asians all own laundromats. There, that should be enough harmless social injustice to get Kruzer's tampon all prickly. I bet he’ll rush out and tear down two extra confederate memorials after hearing all this harmless bigotry. Then he’ll suck some dicks, because he’s still a … see how it all comes back around? Pick any one sentence that I’ve spoken in the last five minutes and it will be infinitely superior to whatever that garbage you pulled earlier today in the Federweight Hallway was supposed to be, Kruzer, you worthless gaping asshole. I’ve had wet farts with more incendiary dialogue than your entire career has produced. Jive turkey. What the fuck, man? Anyway… I got off track, Josh. I came here for one reason and one reason only...”

Bilbo’s chair buzzes to life again as he scoots closer to the edge of the casket. Once his chair clunks up against the wood, rocking the coffin in its bearings, he comes to a stop and begins pulling out yard after yard of endless dick from his zipper hole. He gently parts Reno’s lips with his other hand, and the corpse belches out an acrid blast of cum breath.

“God I've missed that.”

Bilbo then begins stuffing his dick into the now open but still dead mouth of Joshua Reno, sliding it further and further into his esophagus like a drain snake. Soon, Reno’s entire carcass is rigid because of Bilbo’s erection acting as an endoskeleton.

“Told you I wasn’t gay, Reno. You .”

The scene fades the black.

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