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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » King of the Ring 2017 RP Board
And We're Back! Not a Dionsaur's Story, Though.
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Phantom Panzer Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



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#1
08-18-2017, 10:13 PM



Panzer decided he was bored, and to cure this boredom, he decided to go back in time. When? The 70s. Why? Because why the fuck not?

Panzer opened a portal, and he appeared in an alleyway next to Studio 54. As he appeared, he was quick to make himself up. He retained his physical appearance, but with a snap of his fingers, his 'clothes' changed. He wore baby blue bell bottoms, a white t-shirt with Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here on it. His hair also changed, into a big bushy blue afro. His clown shoes changed into bright red three inch tall platform shoes. He changed his nose into an actual caucasian nose, and proceeded to walk out from the alleyway, and then moved to the entrance of the club. The bouncer looked at Panzer and chuckled


"Come on, my man. Why you tryin' to come in here like that? You know even you too freaky to come in here."

Panzer smirked, then pulled out a wad of 100 dollar bills from said time period.

"Out of sight, man! You move on in. Hope you spend this kind of paper on inside."

Panzer did finger guns towards the bouncer before shimmied on inside where the music was playing. The club was rocking like normal, the music was loud and entrancing. Panzer began to dance into the mass of body heat and sweat from the humans. If his clown makeup was actual makeup, it'd be running down his face in a hot second. But that's just how he looked. However he began to dance with a few of the women in the club. A couple of them were big girls, not overtly big, chubby one would say instead. They were like Velma from Scooby-Doo made flesh. He danced with them, trying to have fun as he reminded himself that eventually, he'd have to come back to the "present" and face Seth Feder. For now, as Seth had fun as Batman, then PP had the time to enjoy "life" as mortals would claim to "enjoy". Well, in the case of those in the 70s, they seemed to actually enjoy life a bit more than people of the present day.

Then one song came on. A song he intentionally made into an actual record for the purpose of this little time of his.


The people around him listened to the song and they immediately started to groove with the music. Several styles of 70s dances were blended into one, and they made a small pit for himself and a few other guys in the club to dance as wildly as they pleased. However, with a bit of magic, as they listened, the people in the club became so enthralled that they took the song literally and would rip their pants and skirts off, and begin to dance without them. So he was alone in a club of writhing half-naked bodies of men and women.

One of the chubby women he dance-walked over to, and they began to do The Hustle, though he Travolta'd by freeforming some of the dance. He fell back onto his left hand while kicking into the air with left leg, then began alternating sides before popped up onto his feet and continued switching dances to The Bus Stop to dance a bit closer to the chick, only to move behind her and they began to bump and grind against one another. Her friends cheering her on, and their boyfriends cheered Panzer on. She turned around and they danced face to face, with the clown placing his hands on her hips, swaying moving with her to the music.

The song ended, and her friends went to the bar, Panzer stood there with her, and she chuckled at his "face paint".


"That's some great makeup you've got on. Is that movie quality or something?"

He laughed he then shook his head

"Nah, just my own little special makeup. Keeps me cool while staying dry."

She smirked

"Uh huh. I'll have to ask you for some."

"Well, if you want, I've got a special place if your friends don't mind us going off together."

She looked over at the bar over the wiggling bodies between them and herself, and then shrugged

"Let's go."

She then bent over to pick her skirt up and the two left the club and the two left the club.

Only Panzer would know what happened, because he sent the camera back to the pocket dimension and an hour and a half, he came back to his place, with his pants and shirt ripped, missing a shoe, and his one frizzy fro, was wet and made him look like a painted mop.


"Holy fuck... if I didn't have powers, I doubt I'd've ever left. Bitch was a fucking FREAK! HOLY FUCK!"

He looked at the camera,

"What? Why the fuck would I want people to see me pork Velma? I have more class than that. Fucks sake, Cammy."

He yawned, and snapped his fingers, returning to normal.

"Welp, time to get back to the thick of the bullshit, eh, Cammy?"



"O M G. Because I have to say something Maddy: You're still not Engy. You're still talking on behalf, when he's obviously fucking capable of doing it himself, as shown by when he talks to us or rather, talks to Feder. So, you being his guardian or whatever? That's some bullshit. The same with you being his manager. Seriously. You must have 0 faith in him. Because he seems to talk well enough without your small, droopy ass butting in. And you might be the manager, but there's only one reason why people need them, and that's because they're fucking terrible on the mic, and he doesn't seem to be bad. Just has no chance in hell in talking himself up. You, however, still aren't in the match. You're not even his +1 to the match. You're his manager? Where on the card does it say "The Engineer w/ Miss Can't Talk Her Way Out of a Paper Bag." No, it says only The Engineer.

You can talk all the shit you want, Maddy, but you're still not fooling anyone. You just had some shit to say, and you took Engy's time away, so that you can try and talk about yourself. You act like you trying to put me on blast is all for Engy's benefit, but UH UH UH! No, it's not. Because we all know that you don't have LADY BALLS to come after me in a match, you decide that "OH, BY THE WAY, I'M HIS MANAGER AND IT ALLOWS ME TO TALK ON HIS BEHALF AND SOMEHOW I'M HIS LEGAL GUARDIAN BECAUSE WHY NOT I CAN SAY I'M EVERYTHING AND YOU ALL HAVE TO BELIEVE IT!"

That's you. That's what you sound like.

Now, you want to know why I'm actually call full bullshit on you, you dumb cunt? It's said a few seconds ago. He's capable of speaking for himself. You've let him do it several times, but why is it that you won't let him talk to me? Is it because he can't talk to people who haven't given him the time of day, not even his actual opponent? Or is it because you just want him disqualified? Because the way I look at this situation is the following: don't switch off. You either let Engy speak for himself, or you speak for him. You don't get to swap between the two of you. If I had a manager, would I let them speak on my behalf one time, then I'll just catch the other time around? No. Because I have faith in myself and I will fuck up anyone who comes at me. It's why I don't have a manager. Because I don't need one. You, however, manage Engy, a person capable of defending himself mentally and physically, yet this one fucking time, you decide to go off on only ME. You're not talking shit on the other people in the semi-finals. Only me. Engy even talks about Trax on his own.

This is why anything you've said thus far, should be thrown away. You don't get to fucking pick and choose which person you're going to help Engy fight his battles for. You aren't my opponent, you're not going to be my opponent in the finals. You're just a no one, talking on someone else's behalf, who shows themself capable of talking shit towards others without your help.

But hey. I can't wait to beat Engy after Feder. That'll make my day, when you find out that no matter what you've said, it still doesn't equal half a fucking shit towards me.

Now, onto someone who is right in front of me and a body I have to climb over, in order to win King of the Ring completely.

Seth Feder, you've decided to stay absolutely quiet against me. You've cut two more promos, fucking finally, but other than that, neither were to shit talk me. I did quite like the promos, they were cute enough, but you seriously have nothing else to say towards me, your opponent? Maybe your promos were good enough without talking about me, or the match in general. Who knows? What I do know is that you're not winning this match. You're not going on to become King Feder. You're not. It's not your time to shine. It's not Engy's time to shine. It's mine. I am going to become the Clown God King of the XWF! I am going to be the fucking ruler of this company, like I was meant to become. And that's the fucking real shit.

So, in summation, let me just tell you guys why I'm going to win.

Trax thinks he's got powers, I know I have them. Seth is too fucking preoccupied with being a real version of Batman that he's fucking with Vinnie's money, which makes me laugh my ass off, and Engy is apparently a eunuch because he has no balls in actually talking to me about how he's going to win.

Have I missed anything? Because I don't think I have.

Seth, you can have all the fucking promos in the world that don't talk about me, but in the end, you should have. You ignored me with the rest of the time you had, and that's going to be your fuckin' fall. It's going to be the reason why I will win. You're too fuckin' arrogant, so arrogant you would rather pretend you're something you're not, when instead, you should have been facing me, and should've been actually setting your sights upon me. Even if you had just said "Panzer, you're a ." I would've been like "Awww, he does care about me! How sweet!" Now, I just feel like you don't care about this match. Like you don't give a fuck about me at all. Like you're not actually taking me or this match serious enough, like I think you should have.

But I guess that's why I'm going to win, isn't it?

You can't fuck with me. Trax can't fuck with me. Madd and or Engy cannot fuck with me.

I AM UNFUCKABLE!...

Wait, that came out wrong.

I AM UNFUCKWITHABLE! There we go. And I'd like to remind Maddy of one thing. I let you pin me. You honestly think you can put me down with anything you had to say?

Yeah. I didn't even fight to keep the belt. I'm glad I didn't. Because you wouldn't have been worth my time back then. Just like you're not worth my time anymore. You got me to respond to you. But Engy. Just know, the power to talk shit is always inside you. You don't need that little bitch to talk shit for you. You're a crazy independent grown ass man that don't need no woman! You can deal with shit on your own. Remember that, Fucko.

PEACE OUT, FUCKOS! SEE YA AT THE KING OF THE RING!

BEEP BEEP, NIGGAS!!!"

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