Kruzer
The Canadian Icon
WWW
XWF FanBase: Mixed reactions (cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)
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Joined: Sat Aug 05 2017
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08-09-2017, 07:24 PM
Mini Morbid is standing in the ring ring ranting incessant about needing competition in XWF when suddenly the lights go out in the arena. The tron crackles to life.
The lights come up and Kruzer, crowbar in on hand and a mic in the other, is standing behind Mini Morbid, who's facing the Tron. He scoffs at the Tron, rants again and turns around and his face goes right into Kruzer'z crotch. Kruzer looks down and brings the mic to his lips.
Kruzer: Easy there Mini-Pool... Kruzer hasn't even bought you dinner yet, eh? I mean, I get it's Pride week brother, but I'm sorry... The ol'Kruzermatic's not looking for a subscription to the Lollipop Guild either, Savvy?! I've got a lady, and she's more woman than you'll ever be. So you best step off there tid-bits.
Morbid pushes off Kruzer'z legs and wipes his face, kind of like Curly from the Three Stooges.
Kruzer: Hey... Hey... Easy there kid. Kruzer knows you were expecting the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, or some shit.. Sitting there in your cute little red pyjamas. And that's kool... Let's see... I think Kruzer'z got something here for you... Hang on.
Kruzer pats his jacket a bit then reaches into it with his crowbar hand and pulls it back out gives Mini-Morbid his middle finger, still holding his crowbar. Mini Morbid loses it and screams out then charges Kruzer. Kruzer smiles, dropping his mic and flips his crowbar to hold it like a golf club. You here him through the mic on the mat.
Kruzer: FOORRRRRRRE!
Kruzer swings back then swings foreward like a golf club, smoking Mini Morbid with the goose neck of the crowbar as he gets to him. Morbid flies backwards folding backwards in a heap but lands on his back. Kruzer doesn't even look at him, just brings his hand up to his brow 'looking for the the ball', but squats down to pick up the mic then steps forward toward Morbid.
Kruzer: Don't worry though Jive Turkey... Kruzer knows Ryan Reynolds. I can get you a signed Deadpool dildo you can fuck your own ass with...
Kruzer puts one foot on Morbid's chest, still 'looking for the ball'.
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The following 1 user Likes Kruzer's post:1 user Likes Kruzer's post
Finn Kühn (08-09-2017)
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Mini Morbid
VICTORY FOREVER!!!!!!
XWF FanBase: (.Awaiting user update)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Sun Jan 25 2015
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08-10-2017, 05:32 AM
I do not kick out with my legs.
He who kicks out with his legs has forgotten the face of his father.
I KICK OUT WITH MY FUCKING COCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mini Morbid screams in rage as his ENORMOUS PENIS shoves Kruzer into the ceiling!!! While still dick-pinning the interloper above him, Morbidcito then gets to his feet and INJECTS STEROIDS INTO HIS PERINEUM! THAT'S THE TAINT!!!
"Are you lost little wanderer? By the lack of applicable content in your attempt upon me, I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE! Perhaps you were trying to find the third floor, where the butterfly garden is? Or the eighth floor, where we KEEP THE OTHER OILED UP HOMOSEXUALS!!!"
Morbid sniffs the air dramatically.
"Fee Fi Fo Fum... I SMELL THE SEMEN DRIPPING FROM THE ANUS OF A !!!! AND IT IS CANADIAN!!!! The only thing worse than a regular queerboy gaylord is A CANADIAN QUEERBOY GAYLORD!!!! YOU SULLY THE NAME OF BACON FOR THAT IS INDEED HAM!!!! YOU DISRESPECT THE ANCESTRY OF THE BRITISH BY INTERMINGLING WITH THE FRENCH!!!! VOUS ÊTES UNE GRÈCE QUE VOUS GAGNEZ HOMOSEXUELLE! LES COCHES DE L'INUIT PERVADE VOTRE RECTUM QUOTIDIEN!"
The thought of Canada removes the rigidity from Mini's massive member, allowing Kruzer to fall to the floor, HIS LIPS RIGHT ON MINI'S BOOTS!
"Do you see how easily I manipulate you to do things you normally would not! THIS IS THE POWER I HAVE MASTERED THROUGH MILLENIA OF COCKROBICS!!!! Yes... YES.... slide your cummy little lips across the boots of Mini Morbid! Leaveth the snail trails of many a truck stop hobo's yield so that ye may see thine own reflection in the fine Morbidonian Basilisk Leather! THEN WEEP AS YOU SEE YOURSELF COUGHING UP THE SPERM OF THE WEAK!!!!
BE GONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mini Morbid then sets Kruzer on fire and waits for someone to piss it out.
No one does.
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The following 5 users Like Mini Morbid's post:5 users Like Mini Morbid's post
Doctor Louis D'Ville (08-10-2017), Finn Kühn (08-10-2017), JackCain (08-11-2017), Theo Pryce (08-10-2017), Travis McCoy (08-10-2017)
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Kruzer
The Canadian Icon
WWW
XWF FanBase: Mixed reactions (cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sat Aug 05 2017
Posts: 22
6,146
Likes Given: 12
Likes Received: 15 in 7 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 2 in 1 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 2 in 1 posts
Reputation:
-1
X-Bux: ✘75,000
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08-10-2017, 05:40 PM
Kruzer smirks, looking down at the fire on his leather pants Morbid just set. He bends down brushes at the fire as if simply dusting off some dirt and the fire goes out. He picks up the mic he dropped after hitting the ceiling.
Kruzer: Jive Turkey... You obviously forget who Kruzer'z old lady is, Savvy?! Do you really think a little fire is going to phase the ol'Kruzermatic? Pfft... Puh-lease... Nor does your inflatable rooster dink impress anyone son. We've all seen bigger cocks on a fucking gnat, it doesn't matter what language you try and butcher eh? Was that you attempt at Quebecois... Or was that just an example of you growing up in the projects somewhere? Cuz, let the ol'Kruzermatic break this down for you, so even YOU understand Amigo... andn for those here who don't Parlez Français, Savvy?! I mean, you called Kruzer "a Greece"? ...whatever the fuck that means... Did you mean Greek? And that I win homosexuals. Well, that part is at least true and coherent. The Canadian Icon does have his homosexual fans out there for sure, BUT... And this was the even more confusing part Jive Turkey... "The cocks of the Inuit pervade my daily rectum." ...What In The Actual Fuck?! Is that like the little wannabe lucha's "Lord's prayer" for homophobs or some shit? Jesus Christ.... Where does Vinnie find these Jive Turkeys? Meh, fuck it... Kruzer will hit a kid this time...
Kruzer kicks Morbid in the head, looks down and shrugs, then grabs ahold of his inflatable rooster dink and starts swinging him around like an Olympic throwing hammer. He picks up speed then flings Mini-Pool into the corner turnbuckles and goes for the pin.
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The following 2 users Like Kruzer's post:2 users Like Kruzer's post
Finn Kühn (08-11-2017), Vincent Lane (08-11-2017)
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Vincent Lane
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
XWF FanBase: (.Awaiting user update)
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Joined: Fri Jul 18 2014
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08-11-2017, 10:12 AM
Eh, fuck it.
Winner and NEW Federweight Champion - Kruzer |
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The following 2 users Like Vincent Lane's post:2 users Like Vincent Lane's post
Finn Kühn (08-11-2017), Kruzer (08-11-2017)
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