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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Second Round KO
Author Message
JimCaedus Offline
Trash Talker Skywalker



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
07-04-2017, 10:49 PM

(continued from "Throttling a Thot")


I laugh to myself; stepping through the cloud of cannabis smoke I'd just exhaled and into the venue in which I expect action (Nicole and her hubby Trevor's bedroom) reminds me all too much of making a wrestling entrance. I should start using smoke.

To my dismay, Desi' is fully clothed. Now I have to put forth effort. Sigh.

"_Jimmyyyyyyyy_! DAMN you look good! Still wrestling?"

"Hey Desi', thank you and yes. Not lookin' so bad yourself."

"Jimmy wants to fuck. Into a threesome, Des'," Nicole asks less than tactfully? But then, she never did shy away from brutal honesty.

"_Now_?"

"Why not?"

"Hi Jimmy, hi Desi', let's all hook-up?"

"Didn't _we_ just-"

"Nicole!"

"Dude, I tell Jimmy everything. What's the big deal?"

"When's Trevor coming home?"

Not that it mattered, I'd been introduced to Trevor previously, we'd even twacked out together. As long as there were no signs of or ongoing sexual activity, everything pertaining to Trevor coming home would be cool. Still, Nicole responds with-

"Like, four more hours. Desi', just shut up, let's slam and get to it. You were just telling me you wanted to fuck him in high school."

Slam? Fuck does she mean "slam"?

"Oh my GOD, Nicole!"

Desi' glances at me, blushing, smiling. When it comes to appearance, she and Nicole are pretty opposite. Unlike Nicole's height and Italian features, Desi's shorter than I am, Nordic with blue eyes and blonde hair, has a bigger bust size and butt. She's also a bit frumpy but hey, who am I to judge? I find women of all shapes and sizes attractive. I shrug innocently, smiling back.

Nicole heads for the large white dresser, upon which sits the room television set, and slides open the top drawyer. A moment later she produces a small medicinal glass bottle and a packaged syringe.

Oh shit. Slam. Ok. Uh...

"What's that?"

"A surprise. I took it from work."

Nicole's a vet tech.

"Is that safe for us to use? What's it feel like?"

"It's like heroin," Desi' chimes in.

"Well, it's morphine."

Morphine huh? Never done that before, never had it injected justifiably either...unless they used it on me in the hospital following my murder two years ago.

Nicole looks me up and down as she unpackages the syringe.

"How much do you weigh?"

I'd recently kicked the meth addiction, finally, cold turkey, and signed on with Mohawk Valley Wrestling. Five days ago I'd weighed in at-

"215."

"215? _Shit_. Is it your first time?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. Um..."

She keeps an eye on the measurement while inserting the needle into the bottle and pulling back on the plunger. I watch as clear liquid sucks into the reservoir.

"I think that's right...I've never had to inject anything as heavy as you. Even Trevor's only 195."

Well yeah, I'm a professional wrestler, Trevor's just a shitty band frontman at 6 foot even.

Nicole pulls me over to the end of the bed and sits me down.

"You're gonna love it," she says, smiling.

She lifts my left arm, flips it over, taps at the artery and kisses me aggressively, passionately, as she pierces my flesh with the tip. She presses down on the plunger. When she's finished she stands back and watches me. Oddly enough, I feel nothing.

"How long does it take?"

"You should feel it right away," Desi' says, perplexed, while pulling her T shirt up and off, her heavy tits bouncing free from the garb.

Nice. Ready to go _now_ are you?

"The dosage was too low. Ok, hold on."

Nicole again draws the opiate into the syringe, quicker this time. She lifts my right arm this time, taps at the artery and injects me. An overwhelming sense of pleasure, happiness and relaxation courses through me.

Desi' pulls me from the side onto my back and kisses me now, reaching for and grabbing a handful of crotch. I'm not thinking about the contact though, I'm experiencing an inability to give a shit about anything other than this feeling. I want nothing more than to remain rooted, inactive in this very spot.

Desi' asks something to the effect of, "Can a guy even fuck on morphine?"

Nicole responds with, and I remember it well, "If you can get him hard and turned on it'll last forever. He won't cum either, so don't get offended, dude. Here, Desi'."

I notice Desi' relinquishes my dick with the sudden lack of pressure. She must be receiving her euphoric cocktail.

However long later (time is now another concept I'm no longer interested in) I'm staring up at the ceiling while my pants are unzipped and pulled off.

When my boxers are removed, I feel less aroused and more comfy, the warmth of a mouth surrounding my member barely registering. I feel too good to care...that is, until a sudden surge of sickness washes over me.

"Whoa...I don't feel good."

"What," Nicole asks? It must be Desi' givin' me head.

Before I can answer, I feel my skin overheating, instantly beading over in sweat, my head starting to swim.

"Somethin' is wrong, Waffles," I manage to slur out.

"Oh fuck. Oh FUCK! OH FUCK! You're ODing!"

I wanna scream WHAT!?...but I can't. I'm suddenly feeling so spent I might just close my eyes and sleep for an eternity. At the very least doing that I can escape this sickness swallowing me whole.

"Desi'! Desi' get up! Jimmy's overdosing!"

I don't notice when Desi' spits out my cock. I don't hear any more words that I can recall...

I remember a struggle to get my clothing back on.

I remember being assisted by Desi' and Nicole like a couple o' crutches to the guest room, fawned over and cared for on the bed for what seemed like hours.

I remember believing I was gonna die for the second time...this go 'round for good.

After I'd survived, waking the following morning to a breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon and milk Nicole had lovingly served once Trevor left for work, I couldn't shake the nagging notion that a lesson should be gleaned. It didn't take long to reach epiphany-



There comes a time to say I Quit.





I wonder......does Chris Chaos realize that time is nigh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




"2nd Round Knockout"







-Tuesday July 4 2017-

-Eleven/Eleven, The Broadway Colombia, Missouri-





I'd started off with a spinach salad, spiced walnuts, Fuji apple and chevre drizzled in honey mustard dressing. For the main course I'd ordered the grilled chicken breast sans skin with potato puree, asparagus and sherry mushroom creamsauce. To wash it all down, my usual: a tall, frosty glass of milk.

I found no reason to the quality of life I'd gotten used to since becoming the XWF Universal Champion, I'd be right back on top soon enough after all...and I didn't intend to let anything stop me. Sure, no longer repping the company had cost me my usual meal on house at this particular hotel's 5 star establishment, Eleven/Eleven, but I have enough money now to, as long as I put that dough to work, never have to worry about finances for the rest of my life.

Now, as I dine on my chicken, chewing the succulent grilled flesh, enacting the age old play of predator and prey, it occurs to me to strike the linguistic killing blow on my enemy...before I step into the ring with him and force the hapless bastard to kill his own career with two fatal words.

I

Q
U
I
T

I prepare my phone for promo...

"Chris Chaos......for the umpteenth time in this feud of ours you fucked up. It's becomin' a thing, a theme, o' yours, and T-B-H, if this is how you've always run your game, I can't fathom how you ever snagged and held onto the Uni title to begin with. No, wait, strike that, I do get it. I wasn't around to call you on all your hilarious horseshittery. Chaos Era tough. Caedus Era pussy. Well, far be it from me to let your lies and ludicrous inaccuracies go unanswered.

Inaccuracies such as those in context with my snatchin' the Uni off Reno. You make more than comparisons between that 'n what that punkass Lil' Pump look-alike Blingsteen did, you actually state those situations to be the same. Tell me, Chris, tell us ALL how a man in a mask, who's been trollin' my ass for months now, a man with a 24/7 briefcase I never knew existed (and as stated from YOUR own nut-lappin' lips, a man NO ONE in the roster remembered), cashin'-in on me following a match against perhaps the two most feared names in the business, a match in which you hung me out to dry, has ANYTHING in common with what happened to The Remedial. First off, douchebag desperately deigned to duo up with me, fakin' a friendship, to avoid my cash-in. Blaq, he's been an enemy the whole damn time, ever since I stole 'is blunt and embarrassed his ass. Second, Blingsteen was disguisin' his identity. There was no question who it was with the 24/7 briefcase cashin-in on Gabe and the only deception involved was rooted in his own damn delusion that 'e could fool me into flakin' out on fame. In fact, with the exception of a briefcase and a cash-in (what ALL cash-ins include) there ain't any similarities whatsoever. You may have missed it, Chris, but I just demolished your opening argument in round 2. Oh and by the way...I ain't no star. As I've said before, I'm the XWF singularity. I'm The Star _Killer_, remember? I eat stars, Chris, fresh and flamboyant or flacid and fadin'...the latter bein' not only an extremely apt description o' your crumblin' career...but one YOU yourself admitted to with your "welcome to my life" "welcome to my world" whinin', wimp. "No one remembers a shooting star when it's gone". Brilliant, bitch. You know who they DO remember? The guy who landed trip back-to-back OTM honors, two of which are back-to-back SOTMs. They regale the ignorant on an unquenchable thirst for success and competition that landed the XWF Universal Title in a man's hands who'd only been on the roster for four months. You know who they all wanna forget but are FORCED to remember? The broken down limpdick loser stubbornly stickin' around despite the facts that no one likes 'im, no one fears 'im and all the relevance he holds is the itch we all feel to see him shown to a shallow grave. Burn out, fading star. Disappear. Take the fuckin' hint the bookers hit you with and quit. Yeah, I know what I said in my first salvo. I treated this bout like a submission match...and it is. You're gonna hafta submit, say "I Quit", collapsin' to my will...and I'll do whatever it takes to inspire those two words to wriggle free from your skeet sponge, spunk-sipper, even if I hafta crack that skull open, blade to the Broca area o' your brain and FORCE you to say 'em with my invasive middle digit like I'm finger-bangin' a dick snappin'-tight virgin.

Christ, Chris, the way you talk it's like you've ALREADY suffered some sorta trauma to the dome. Wal-Mart sneakers lasting 10 years? For who, a fat fuck who's footwear only accrues mileage between the couch, the computer, the fridge and the fuckin' crap-closet? If I was "falling apart at the seams" my ass wouldn't be booked from here to King o' the Ring and I wouldn't be a day away from deliverin' you to an outcome you'll NEVER live down within the walls of this pinnacle promotion. I'm gonna hand you your SECOND LOSS to me, Chris..and not only that...the definitive throwin' in o' the towel that represents the last shred o' dignity and credibility you so desperately cling to. You just don't get it, do you? This is the culmination o' MONTHS o' your misguided masturbatory "mayhem". This is the end game. What've you accomplished durin' your lil' Crusade for Chaos? Pathetically try to lay claim to Ax3 only to receive ridicule in return? Pull a few futile run-ins in an attempt to disrupt the stable's plans only to watch as Plan B succeeded in spite o' your antics? Piss Ax3 off to the point o' your expulsion...AFTER I whipped your ass at High Stakes II with the one and only pinfall in 60 minutes? If anyone's been "fallin' apart at the seams" it's you since you lost that Uni Title. I may be mistaken...but exactly how many matches have you won since you lost it, one? The Trip Tag match against Drake and The Revival that I basically set up FOR you? I openly admit I'd been havin' a hard time with my hectic scheduling, scumbag. That ain't fallin' apart at the seams. Fallin' apart at the seams is crying, LITERALLY CRYING, over Reno kickin' you off the Iconoclast team on Savage. Fallin' apart at the seams is losing that Uni Title to Reno after he'd humiliated you. Fallin' apart at the seams is the massive drop in quality we've witnessed you succumb to since. Fallin' apart at the seams is your FAILURE to regain the Uni strap in your rematch and gettin' your girly ass booted the fuck out of a stable you thought you were the leader of. Fallin' apart at the seams is once again projecting your own inability to make any forward momentum onto me by claimin' I'M so stuck in MY ways. Hey Chris..._my ways_, when I'm not gettin' shafted by a shithead King, swerved by your ass or sufferin' from distraction...are the same ways that saw me emerge victorious at Lethal Lottery 4, the same ways that kicked your ass at High Stakes II. Your ways? Your ways let that happen. Who's stuck, with negative connotation, in their ways? Fuckin idiot.

Your ways include makin' the same mistakes, consistently, even when called out on 'em. Mistakes like telegraphing just how frightened you really are of havin' to face Caedus. "Dick Dick Daddy"? My god...you're positively scared stiff at this point. Dick Dick Daddy... Jesus, I think that may also be another one o' your Freudian slips, akin to your "watching (my) promos feels like swallowing cum" clusterfuckup. Dick, what Chaos finds so nice, he hadda say it twice. Milkin' men orally, gettin' fisted...these are the "metaphors" you sling, Chris Chaos...receiving penetration and money shots. Dick Dick Daddy...not shockin' comin' from a single mother raised rectum ridin' who not only wants to meet the daddy he never knew but drain 'is balls too. I mean it's one way or the other, asshole. Either you're so afraid of me you can't manage to talk shit without fuckin' up AND bother to edit to hide it or you wanna fuck your father. If I was pressed on the subject I'd say it's a lil' bit o' both. You've been fumblin' your words since your first promo, princess, and now, in your second, beyond that "Dick Dick" botch, you tell me to "Let it sink it, Jim." Let it sink it? Fuck's that supposed to mean ya mush-mouth mumblin' moron? As to your subconsciously gay confessions, you've been Freudian slippin' left and right since comparin' somethin' to imbibin' ball juice. A combined broken home-grown fearful fallin' apart at the seams one could say. It's alright, son, calm down...the Big Dick Daddy is here. He ain't down with your sexual advances but he'll happily belt that ass until you cry uncle tomorrow night. There won't be any avoiding it, not when continuing to make mistakes the likes of-

"The world will see Jim Caedus break down and begin his descent back into the TV Title ranks."

How'm I gonna do that, Chris? A former Universal Champion can't compete for the TV Title. Fuck man, you been here how much longer than me but I'M the one handin' out the handbook on XWF rules and regulations? You've got no inkling what the hell's goin' on around here anymore, do you? Yet you think you're gonna defeat me in our match? Motherfucker you couldn't do it at High Stakes II with SIXTY MINUTES AT YOUR DISPOSAL and you sure as FUCK ain't gonna do it now. B-T-W...sorry to hafta break the news to you that YOU can't go after the strap you were unable to claim to begin with, unlike MY undefeated in context ass, and have a fallback to the bottom rung where you belong. You damn sure don't have the talent to take down any current champions anyway, so I'd advise you to move on to lamer pastures where you may have a chance at some modicum of success. As for me, I'll be reclaimin' my Uni title while you'll be billboard boppin' to your new number one hit single "I'm Chris Chaos (Who?)".

"Jim, when is it going to sink in you you fucked up?"

I'd say right about the time it sinks in "you you" that you can't stop stuttering, that you're outclassed and that you're fulla shit with the baseless accusations, duh-duh-duh-dumbass. You didn't have a handle on anything in that tag match versus The Doc and Raven other than perfectly fuckin' ME outta victory. Hell, in the war of words alone your ass was phonin' it the fuck in. I tagged myself into the match because you're too inept to be trusted with the tally sheet fate of Caedus. Course, your spineless scuttlin' away, addin' ANOTHER L to your OWN record purposely in the process, made that a reality regardless. Better believe you're gonna pay dearly for that. With the exception of a forced retirement match, I couldn't have asked for a better venue for vengeance via an I Quit quest.

"Are these metaphors sinking in yet?"

I'm not sure, have you come to terms with the fact you can use words like absorb, accept and such in place of sayin' "sink in" sixty times you fuckin' hack?

"You didn't understand what I meant about being a working mans champion and how the lower income usually associate with people who look lower income......never mind."

No, Chris. "Lower income"? I was homeless. Try no income, imbecile. And once I signed up with the XWF that immediately shot up to gettin' paid a lot more than the average American. I've never been a "working man's champion", chump, where the fuck you been? Oh right...NOT hearin', NOT seein', NOT thinkin'. Just like you'll NOT be leavin' that ring in Missouri without sayin' "I Quit".

You question if I'm cut out for this life? You claim no one paid any attention, no buzz began, before I snatched the Universal Championship. Hmmmm...February Star of the Month, March Star of the Month, LL Tournament and 24/7 briefcase winner, founder of a stable at one time possessing six gold straps at once...Chris I'd been creating buzz long before the Uni Title. In fact, I was creatin' the buzz DURING your so-called and "illustrious" age of Chaos...while everyone was ignorin' YOU. In fact, the great and mighty Chris Chaos was ignorin' MY threats outta cowardice when I was only a month old on the roster, remember? I mean godDAMN, dipshit, the age of Chaos ended the moment I meandered on in here and if Gabe hadn't gotten to you first, I would've. That entire point of argument you made died before it ever escaped your semen-lined throat, thot...except for that part where you say I look like Jesus. Yes. Yes I do. Now bow the fuck down and worship at my boots, bitch, for you know not who it is you're fuckin' with.

I help those who help themselves into a loss at my capable hands, homo, and for those who remain as Doubting Thomas, I suggest you take a gander at what I do to Chris Chaos Wednesday night. My out of ring distractions took a bit longer to corral than I'd assumed and hoped they would...but they've been contained nonetheless; too late to prevent my pussy partner from pursuin' his screwjob...but just in time to trounce his ass tomorrow.

Chris wants to talk shit on my mother for her loyalty and love. That's because Chris's mother didn't love HIM nor show HIM any such loyalty. That's why Chris is becomin' infamous backstage for his Norman Bates-esque crank calls to male rostermates pretendin' to be Jenny Myst. He's an effeminate single mother raised closet-cocksuckin'-cross-dressin' douchebag buttfuckin' ...which would explain why his "girlfriend" Jenny is more masculine than he is.

Chris wants you all to believe that hittin' women in a domestic setting is acceptable, claiming that if you "hit her hard enough" you'll gain her respect. This comes as no surprise because, again, Chris was raised by a single mother and in textbook fashion, learned to despise women while he found himself becoming one, attracted to men and the male presence so absent in his upbringing. The words "perfect pink pussy" have never sounded so awkward, so choked out through chunder chunks, spillin' outta the mouth of a "man" as they did when Chris Chaos spoke them.

Chris thinks alluding to a man's willed wad, a man who's been collectin' Uni Champ checks, PPV shares and merchandise money, with the insult "all $50" is a humdinger. He's an infinite idiot folks. Purchase a ticket for tomorrow night's Warfare in Independence, Missouri or tune in and watch as I serve his ass up the final punchline.

Fuck what you thought, Christina. Fuck a not-so-secret sperm suckin' sack o' shit feminine flash-in-the-pan pansy punkass. Fuck his further fuckin' up in his third futile swing. Fuck Chris Chaos. I'm Jim. Fuckin'. Caedus. The accolades I've accrued in HALF the time Chaos has been on the roster are more than DOUBLE his own. My ongoing legacy speaks for itself...and it'll continue to grow until I've earned the same legendary status the names Vincent Lane, Shane , Doctor Louis D'Ville and James Raven carry. Chaos isn't comin', Chris. I'd say Chaos is at an end but it never even began. You're nothin' more than a forgettable footnote in the annals of the XWF. You're a joke. I raise pulses, you lower standards. Period. All those "dirty losses" you're famous for excusin' off your failures with...I beat you clean at High Stakes II. When I've beaten your ass to such a broken and bloodied state you have to say I Quit to stave off permanent paralysis...that'll be your SECOND clean loss to me and from THAT moment on...everyone will know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Caedus killed Chaos. I own you, Chris. That's all there is to it. Now fuck off and accept your fate."

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~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x 
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It


---Love Me, Like Me, Hate Me. No Worries---

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