The scene fades into Theo Pryce's office where John Madison has turned up again to fart next to Theo's head as he pecks away on his mechanical keyboard.

John: "Theo, get off of your ass and start training. We don't have time for your First Person Shooters."

Theo: "That's not what I'm doing. I'm taking care of some things with federation."

John: "The X-treme Wrestling one?"

Theo: "..."

John: "Theo?"

Theo: "What?"

John: "I asked you if it was the X-Treme Wrestling Federation."

Theo: "Yeah, fuck. John, what the hell do you want? All week you've been showing up at my office/home drunk and pestering me."

John: "So we can't hang out anymore even though we're tag team partners? Is it because of that fucking bitch you're seeing?"

Theo: "Partially, yes. Also because I have to clean up your mess every time you leave."

John: "That's fucked up, Theo. That's not how you talk to your tag team fucking partner."

Theo: "Why are you here this time?"

John: "So that you can teach me some wrestling holds. I'm rusty, man. I could use a few pointers in the ring. I brought a mat for us to practice on if that's okay."

Theo: "Really?"

John: "Nah, that shit sounds incredibly gay, especially for a promo."

Theo: "How is that too gay for a promo, John? You are a wrestler..."

John: "There's better shit that we can be doing with our time."

Theo: "Yeah, and what might that be?"

John: "LET'S RAPE YOUR SECRETARY."

Theo: "What?!"

John grabs Jessica Salizar by her vagina and drags her across the room to Theo's desk. He kicks Theo's $500 mechanical keyboard out of the way and drops Jessica in its place.

John: "Yeah, what the hell Theo? You didn't tell me that you got new office equipment. I want the head, which piece are you taking?"

Theo: "That's not what Jessica is here for, John. I hired her as my secretary to accomplish a myriad of tasks. I didn't hire her to be fucked by you."

John: "Wow, Theo. After all that we've been through together, you're gonna cock block me right here."

John eases his grip over Theo's secretary and releases her back into the wild.

Theo: "Thanks, John. I was worried that you were going to make my day longer than it's already been."

As Theo finishes his thought, John whips out a sawed off shotgun and blows Jessica to bits and pieces with a blast to her lower back. He then throws the gun on Theo's desk as smoke leaves the barrel.

Theo: "What the hell, John? She has a fiance and shit!"

John: "Theo I've rolled up in here 20 times and she's never offered me anything to drink."

Theo: "That's not true, she offers you a cold water every time you walk in! It's one of the few tasks that I can count on her doing."

John: "Yeah but she didn't do it the right way. She was holding our company down, Theo. Look I've already trained her replacement."

Cadryn stumbles into the room reeking of booze. He can barely stand, he has to use the wall just to make it to Theo's desk where he then pukes all over Theo's $500 mechanical keyboard.

Theo: "Well, the keyboard that my wife got me is officially fucked."

John: "Nice going, Cadryn. Be a good secretary and get Theo a beer. He's had a rough day because of the incompetent secretaries that he keeps hiring."

Cadryn pulls a Corona out of John's cooler and gives it to Theo. John walks by and takes the beer before Theo can even make up his mind.

John: "Get Theo one too!"

Cadryn: "That was the last one."

John: "WHAT?!"

Cadryn: "There aren't anymore Coronas for us to enjoy."

John kicks over the ice chest, causing ice to go flying across the room, landing on Jessica Salizar's corpse.

John: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Theo: "John, relax."

John: "No! Go to the store and buy me and Theo some more Coronas. And clean up the mess in Theo's office! How do you expect him to get shit done if you're walking around like a drunk asshole, leaving your shit everywhere Cadryn?"

Cadryn: "Sorry, Theo. I'll get grab the beers."

Cadryn turns around and hurries out of the room as John loads his pistol and points it to the Cad's back. John squeezes the trigger and chases Cadryn out of the office with several shots in his general direction. It seems as though John doesn't intend to hit Cadryn, but who knows?

John: "Hurry up!"

Ten minutes later, John has an incoming call from Cadryn so he answers it. Cadryn never calls unless its an emergency so John is a little bit worried.

John: "What?"

Cadryn: "Your card got declined!"

John: "Shit! It has to be their bullshit machine not being able to read the numbers! Use Theo's credit card!"

Cadryn: "Alright."

Theo: "Wait, what? Why does he have my credit card?"

John: "Cool. Theo says to hurry the fuck up."

John hangs up with Cadryn and puts his phone back in his ass.

Theo: "Why do you have my credit card?"

John: "Actually it's your wife's credit card, and I needed to get some really important things."

Theo: "What did you buy?"

John: "Important things that will further my career."

Theo: "Like?"

John: "Fighting gloves..."

Theo: "Is that all? You've bought only gloves?"

John: "Well, I bought Samuels some cajun fries the other day. And a few drinks/dances."

John has another call from Cadryn.

John: "Fine, I'm on my way."

John hangs up his phone inside of his ass.

John: "Sorry, I gotta take this, Theo. Enjoy your new secretary and the beers!"

Scene fades





"Thoughts on the match?"

"This match is for everything. It's the biggest match of my career, Steve."

"Is it really?"

"No, I'm fucking around. It's pretty average considering my opponents. Don't get me wrong, I'll be at the top of my game, delivering a spectacle that the fans will remember until they die. Other than that, I've been pretty disappointed with all of the sacks of shit that the XWF has been feeding me. I love winning but please stop feeding me the Barney Greens and James Ravens of the XWF. I'm so much better than that and I deserve far better treatment. There should be a new top 50 list made, and I should be number one. There should be a Hall of Fame created for me and only me since no one can perform at my level. I should be given more championships by management because of how good I am all of the time. I should be superstar of the month for the next 20 years, and everything that I've ever said becomes the permanent quote of the moment. Like, quote of the moment is just an endless amount of John Madison promos tied together for the fans to enjoy. Don't you think that would be beneficial to everyone, Steve?"

"Maybe for some but I don't know about everyone."

"Are you kidding me? Do you not hear those fans cheering me on every time I go out there? They're in love with me ergo they love the other kings, and hate the other wrestlers. You can't deny the cheers, Steve!"

"You're right, the fans do love you guys. I don't know what they see in you in particular."

"Cause I'm loaded with talent."

"Alright, well what do you think about one of your opponents, Jim Caedus?"

"He spent a lot of time crying about Theo, so I guess he's into that. I don't really care about anything that he's said or done. Like I said earlier, this match isn't anything special. It's a quick victory for me and then I fuck off for another month until they put together another half-decent team for me to step on. Are our opponents even getting entrance music? HAHAHAHAHA!"

"How do you feel about Michael Graves claiming that James Raven almost took out The Kings ™?"

"I feel okay with it, mostly because 'almost winning' doesn't count for shit. Your buddy James blew it because he's a terrible wrestler with awful promos. If I was in his position, I would have been victorious and flushed The Kings ™ by myself. Lane would have never tagged himself in because unlike Raven, I actually have excellent ring awareness and wouldn't let that loser come anywhere near me."

"Okay, how do you feel about the ace up their sleeves, Steve Davids?"

"Hah, what? He's still alive?"

"Yes, Steve Davids is alive and he's their mystery man."

"What a joke. Why was that kept a mystery? Haha!"

"I... I honestly don't know."

"I mean, it's not even a mystery anymore, so what was the point of him being a 'mystery?' The element of surprise is gone, not that I would be spooked by the presence of Davids showing up to begin with."

John can hardly get through the question without laughing.

"Can we move on please? I definitely have no interest in talking about Steve any further."

"Okay, well that leaves Trax. How do you feel about him wanting to donate X-Bux for you not to deliver the promo that you promised everyone?"

"Well, it doesn't matter what Trax wants because I got an overwhelming response from the fans, asking me to make this happen because they love me. Now I did get a couple of thousand X-bux, but that's expected when the XWF is just full of haters."

"'Haters?' I think people just didn't want to donate their hard earned money to something that is expected of all XWF wrestlers."

"Maybe they should donate because everyone here is shit except for The Kings ™. That was why I put the offer out there in the first place, Steve. Everyone around here except for The Kings ™ and Peter Gilmour lacks talent and motivation. My promos should be a treat that they have to pay for. I'm not stupid, I know that they're all sitting at their desks taking notes, trying to become the next King of the Universe. I'm not here to give free promo classes to people like Raven and Trax who still struggle with them. That's why the fans always cheer for us, because they know that we are the best that the company has to offer no matter how bad we fuck everyone's shit up."

"How much money were you able to raise?"

"I only managed to collect 100,000 which isn't bad when you consider all of the haters that we have in the XWF. And no I'm not going to show it to you. Most of the money is being kept in a safe at a secret location that's underground. I did that because I don't want to make the locker room even more jealous of me when I'm walking around with cash falling out of my pockets. What would be the point? It would be like bragging to a bunch of ants about how much bigger I am than them."

"Okay, that leaves the special guest referee of the match. How do you feel about that?"

"I'm cool with it. He'll probably count slow for The Kings ™ and attack us since AX3 needs his help and I need something to make this a challenge so that I don't get bored. So yeah, Chris you're stupid and I hope your family dies in a fire."

"Do you have anything else that you would like to add to this amazing promo that you promised?"

"Yeah, to everyone who works here: Go fuck yourself. Steve Jason and John Madison are still officially better than all of you even after years of doing nothing."

"Thank you for your time, John!"

Scene fades.