I open my eyes, and for a short fleeting moment, I feel at peace. That's not uncommon. Most days, when I first wake up, I experience this feeling of being unburdened by my actions as of late, but then, like a freight train, it all hits at once. Harassing Dolly, pushing Cadryn away, alienating my AX3 brothers, ruining the life of Amber, the little girl that I kidnapped. These are all things that I have done recently. Pain that I have brought onto those who didn't deserve it. These are things that I am now forced to live with. Things that I am ashamed of… at least until I suffer my next mental break, then who knows, I could end up doing something even worse.

As I sit up on the worn out mattress in this shitty hotel room, I can't help but worry about the future. Right now I'm in control. I've ended things with Dolly, I've sent Amber back to her parents, and I've taken a huge step in correcting the problems within AX3 by kicking Chaos to the curb. However, there is always the chance that I'll snap again, always the chance that I'll do something even more horrible than before and that’s a thought that really scares the shit out of me. It's like a running gag in my life. The more comfortable I get, the more that I think that I'm in control, the worse I end up losing it. Sure, this latest outing of crazy was the result of a terrible thrashing from Dolly Waters that ended up leaving me with a serious case of brain trauma, but considering the business that I'm in, things like that could happen pretty much any day of the week.

Take for instance my upcoming match. Jim and I are teaming with Trax and Steve Davids to defend our Trios titles against The Kings (™) Tag Team Championships. It's no secret that there is no love loss between our two teams, and with Chris Chaos being named the special referee, the chances of me taking some hard blows to the head raise significantly. So what happens then? Do I revert back into a pedophile? Maybe I become something worse. Is it possible that there will eventually come a time that I just don't come back from one of these episodes? Honestly, at this point, I wonder if it even matters anymore. I've already managed to lose everything that ever meant something to me. My wife, or soon to be ex-wife, Stephanie, doesn't speak to me anymore. I'm not allowed to visit with my children. Cadryn, once my closest friend in this business, has aligned with the enemy and doesn't seem to have any interest in giving me a second… or millionth chance. I fear the day that I finally lose myself completely to my madness, but at the same time, I almost welcome it, because at least then I'll be free from the torment that I feel over all of the pain that I've caused.

I grunt as I stand up. These old knees are starting to wear out on me. Hell, everything is starting to wear out. Luckily, once I get up and moving, most of the pain seems to go away, and what is still there, is easy enough to ignore. Good thing too, because with Robert taking the week off to recuperate from his grueling match at High Stakes, it's going to take Jim and I at our best to stand a chance against the Kings(™). That's not to take away from my partners either. Trax and Davids are both very talented individuals, but the fact is, these aren't their titles that they are helping to defend. Let's face it, even though both men were kind enough to step in and lend a hand when asked, neither of them are going to put it all on the line to walk away with the victory, not like Jim and I will. They’re only here because of preexisting beef with the Kings. To them, teaming with us is a matter of convenience. Regardless, before I can focus on the match at hand, I need to take of a looming problem. While I was in my most recent crazed daze, I accumulated some items that are in desperate need of disposal. It would seem that I’ve acquired quite the collection of illegal child pornography. That’s not exactly something that I want to keep around, so I spend the next few minutes gathering up everything and tossing it into the trash. I’ve already drawn a lot of attention to myself with my relentless pursuit of Dolly Waters. The last thing that I need is the police finding this huge cache of illegal porn on my person.

I look around the room to ensure that I have collected every single piece. Satisfied with the result of my cleaning, I grab the trash bag and carry it out to the dumpster. Finally, I think to myself, I’m done with the horrible part of my life. As I walk back to my hotel room however, I notice a large cardboard box sitting in front of my door.

What the fuck?

That wasn’t there just a minute ago. I look around the parking lot, but there is no sign of life to be found, so who dropped off this package? I cautiously walk up to the box. Can you blame me for worrying about what may be inside? I’m not exactly well liked, and this could easily be a bomb or something. I kneel down and shake the box sightly. It’s actually pretty heavy. Curiosity overtakes caution as I rip into the box to find out what is inside.

Fuck me…

I can’t believe it… It’s more child porn… no… it’s MY child porn. Every tape, disc, picture, all in this box. This doesn’t make sense. I jump to me feet and run back to the dumpster and grab the bag that I just threw away… it’s empty. Am I experiencing another psychotic break!?! Frustrated and confused, I charge back over to the large box of porn and scoop it up. I carry it over to the dumpster and toss it in, but as soon as I turn around, I find it sitting in front of my door once more.

No way…

I turn and look in the dumpster, and the box that I just threw away is gone. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. I know full well that I’m losing it at this point. After a few moments, I feel as though I have a handle on the situation. I walk back over to the box and lift it up once more. This time, as I am carrying it over to the dumpster, the bottom of the box give out and the contents spill out across the pavement. DVDs, home movies, photographs, and something odd. One item really catches my attention. It doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the items. It’s not a tape, not a DVD, not a picture… it's round, almost egg shaped, but much larger. It seems to be made out of gold. It calls to me as I stand there in a stupor.

Micheal…








Miiicheal….









MIIIIICHEAL!!!


I take a few steps closer, unable to remove my eyes from its majestic beauty. I kneel down to take a closer look. It’s a potato-shaped lump of gold, or so it would appear. I reach out to grab it, and no sooner than my hand touches it, I’m transported in a flash to some other place. Before my eyes can register my surroundings, my ears tune into thousands of people singing the same song.


TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME…

TAKE ME OUT TO THE CROWD…

BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKERJACKS…

I DON’T CARE IF I EVER COME BACK…

I look around out into the stands. Thousands of fans are cheering and singing. Is this for me, I think? No, they are singing that old baseball song. I look out to the field, and that’s when I realize that not only have I somehow managed to find myself standing on the pitcher's mound at the Pittsburgh Pirates stadium. I look down at my attire to find that I am wearing a baseball uniform. I pull at my shirt to see the team logo, but it’s not a logo that I am familiar with. It looks like an apple with bananas for horns. Fruity Devils maybe? Yeah, something is terribly wrong with this situation. I look out to the field to find that all of my teammates are Cadryn. They all share the same goofy grin as they silently stare at me. Seeing this sight first hand, it quickly becomes one of the most disturbing things that I have ever witnessed. It’s like being surrounded by an army of those emotionless kids from “Village of the Damned”, except it’s extra creepy because it’s Cadryn.

My attention is pulled away from this horrifying sight as the crowd begins to grow restless. I slowly spin around in place and survey the angry faces in the bleachers. Suddenly, a voice from behind me catches my attention.

HEY, PITCH THE DAMN BALL ALREADY!!!

I turn to see Andrew McCutchen standing at the plate, gripping what I mistake for a bat at first, but quickly realize is actually the largest cock that I have ever seen. It would easily measure over forty inches long and is at least as wide as a soda can. Confused, I look over to my bullpen, but the sea of creepy Cadryn’s who are also occupying that spot prove to be even more disturbing than the ones on the field. I quickly turn my head away and find myself staring at the Pirates bullpen instead.

What in the hell?

The Pirates bullpen is a hot and sweaty mess that I find it hard to look away from. It’s like when you drive by a bad accident, and you know that you shouldn’t look, hell, you really don’t even want to, but at the same time, you just can convince yourself to look away. Well, that’s this, except there is no twisted metal, no broken glass, and no chance of seeing a dead body. Instead, all I see are men in Pirates uniforms giving out sloppy blowjobs to each other. Big, hairy nuts resting gently in the leathery confines of if the Pirates mitts as they gently squeeze and release, trying to massage the love nectar from it’s home.

COME ON, LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!

This can’t be real? The fact that I realize that is a good sign, but then again, the fact that I’m seeing all of this… have I lost it again? Am I sinking even deeper in my lunacy? Fuck it, right? I’m playing ball with the hometown team. Crazy hallucination or not, I should enjoy the moment. I wind up and throw a fastball. That’s when I realize that what I threw wasn’t a ball at all, but instead, that golden potato shaped nugget from before. It zooms through the air, right across the plate! Or at least it would have, had McCutchen not managed to get all of it with his huge black dick. The golden potato flies high into the air. It’s a flyball, I can catch this, I know it! I follow the potato in the air, my glove out waiting to catch it, but it doesn’t fall. Instead, it hovers in the air reflecting the sun's light into my eyes and looking majestic as fuck. Suddenly it drops and hits me right in the eye!

I jump out of a deep sleep as my body crashes to the floor. I look around the room frantically for a moment before realizing that it was all just a dream. Another fucked up product of my broken brain. Ever think that you’ve got it bad? Try living a day in my shoes! I climb up to my feet and stumble into the bathroom. I unleash my member from the confines of my boxers and proceed to piss like a guy who was up all night fucking. That shit is spraying everywhere. As I try to get a handle on the situation and adjust my aim, I notice something sitting on the top of the toilet. Something golden and egg shaped… It almost looks like a potato…


It would seem that this company isn’t big enough for two sets of Tag Team Titles, just like it isn’t big enough for both AX3 and The Kings(™) to try and play the role of big dog on campus. So, how fitting it is that this week on Savage, AX3 are set to face The Kings in a match that will not only prove once and for all who the dominate stable of men is, but also condense the Tag division down to one set of titles that will carry the heritage and tradition of both. Now, I’m sure that if you were to ask any member of The Kings(™), they’d be happy to tell you how they pretty much have this match in the bag. AX3, like everyone else on the roster is beneath them, or so think. The problem with that line of thinking is as simple as James Raven. At High Stakes, Raven came VERY close to defeating The Kings almost single handedly. I mean, what else can you call it when he was teamed with a broken and near useless Vinnie Lane, and an old man who has never been promoted as a professional wrestler? Raven had their number, and three of the Kings(™) almost fell to one man. Later on that same night, arguably the most dangerous member of The Kings(™), the seldomly defeated Doctor Louis D’Ville did in fact fall at the hands of Raven in a singles match to close the show.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. What does James Raven have to do with AX3? Well honestly, nothing, but if your question is what does James Raven have to do with this match? The answer is everything. See, Raven single-handedly proved to the world that The Kings(™) aren’t the unbeatable wrestling gods that they like to portray themselves to be. He took a chunk out of their armor and showed everyone that they can, in fact, be defeated. That was one man, just one. On Savage, The Kings(™) will have to face four. Now, an argument could be made that Raven is a legend. It’s true that he is in a class of his own, but again, he is one man, we are four. Not just any four either. We have Jim Caedus, the nearly unstoppable Universal Champion. Trax, a man so good that his nickname is Mr. Fucking Dominance, and myself, and we all know that I always bring the fight, no matter how easy, or difficult the fight is, I treat them all the same.

I know what you’re thinking, “but Micheal, that’s only three!” How right you are. The fact is, there is a fourth man in this ensemble, and his identity is currently masked by three question marks and a generic silhouette. Who is he you ask? Would it work to my benefit to spill the beans now, or would we be better suited to maintain the surprise all the way up to the start of the match? The real question is, do I even care? Sure, keeping the fourth man a mystery may give us a slight advantage heading into this match, but we don’t want it, and we damn sure don’t need it. The fact that this man is on the team in the first place is enough of an advantage in it’s own right, because Saturday Night the “Kingslayer” is going to help AX3 take some heads, and claim some gold!

…

Can you hear that XWF Universe?

…

That’s the collective laughter of The Kings(™) upon hearing that Steve Davids is joining in the fight.

As if they weren’t already laughing at the idea of facing off against Trax again, or me for that matter. Hell, the only guy that they MAY give even the slightest bit of respect towards is Jim, and even that is a big maybe. That’s their downfall though. That’s the mistake that they are going to make that will ultimately cost them the Tag Team Championships. They value their abilities so much, that they look down on everyone else. We are all beneath them. Maybe it’s true, then again, maybe it’s not. Perhaps there was a time when The Kings(™) were the hot shit that they still believe themselves to be, but that time isn’t now, and if it is, they sure haven’t done a good job proving it. Theo and Madison have had a single match since returning. One that they again, almost lost to one man. Theo admittedly surprised me with the lack of ring rust, but Madison, for all of the stories about how great he used to be, failed to show me anything of note. In fact, all I saw, and all that I have seen since his so-called return, is an uninterested and lazy man who is obviously only here because his fellow Kings(™) dragged him back to the XWF kicking and screaming.

Then we have Samuels. What can I say about Samuels? He can say that he already holds a victory over AX3, much like Doc, but I can argue that he only holds that victory due to Madison’s interference, Theo’s blind eye, and the fact that Chris Chaos proved to be nothing but a loudmouth washout after joining AX3. So, Sammy, you gained a cheap victory over what proved to be the weakest link in AX3, good job. Speaking of weak links, remember how you accused me of filling that role the last time that we met? Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’ll be sure to get some one on one time with you at Savage and show you just how weak this link really is, if you catch my drift.

Next up, the good Doctor, Louis D’Ville. Kings(™) or no Kings(™), he is considered THE MAN around here in the XWF. Beating him garners you an express ticket to the top, and for good reason, because over the years, so few have been able to accomplish that goal. Is it because the old man is really that good in the ring, or is it because of the reputation and mind games that he bring with him? After having both teamed with, and fought against him, I can honestly say that it’s a little bit of both, but at the same time, Doc, you don’t frighten me. Not in this match, not one on one, not backstage, not in a back alley. You’re mind games mean nothing to me because my mind is too fucked already for you to try and fuck with it. Your reputation doesn’t scare me either, if anything, it intrigues me. The fact that you are so feared and respected does nothing but inspire me to bring my best and lay you to rest like the old dog that you are. Raven caught you off guard and added a lose to your record. In doing so, he now has the world questioning if the dominance of Doctor D’Ville is coming to an end. Sure, your name still strikes fear into the hearts of most, but you know what they say, the last thing to go on a fighter is his name. You’ve still got the name Doc, but admit it, your drive, your physical prowess, they’re both degrading quickly. You’ve pushed on into your elderly years, and I commend you for that, but every man’s time comes to an end eventually, and I’m seeing your end clear as day.

So, what is to become of the Kings(™) once AX3 relieves them of the tag team titles? Do you all disappear back into the dark recesses of whatever retirement home that you came from, or do you guys continue to stick around and make another half-assed attempt at taking full control of the company? I don’t know… I don’t even think that you all know. I’m sure that none of you have even entertained the notion of losing this match, but I’d suggest that you start. It’s always good to have a plan for your future, and I’ll tell you right now that no matter what you decide, your futures are going to have a lot less gold in them.