Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is part of our High Stakes II quintuple main event, and will determine the ownership of the company!
Introducing first…
The words "Money Talks" flash on the X-Tron and then a video montage of Theo begins playing as the XWF co-owner walks out on stage. John Madison walks out and stands to the right of Theo, and then John Samuels walks out and stands to his left.
All three men walks slowly to the ring, looking determined and ready for a battle.
The team of John Samuels, John Madison, and Theo Pryce…. THEEEEEEE KIIIIIIIINGS!!!!
The Kings get to the ring and Theo immediately stands inside the ropes while the other two men take spots on the apron.
And their opponents…
The entire arena slowly fades to black as the audience excitedly awaits the entrance of James Raven. The drum beat and guitar solo start and a series of white and blue spotlights come up and pan the crowd. Mike Shinoda’s voice is heard on the speakers singing.
“Now here we go for the hundredth time, hand grenade pins in every line, throw ‘em up and let something shine, going out of my fucking mind… filthy mouth, no excuse, find a new place to hang this noose, string me up from atop these roofs, high and tight so I won’t get loose.”
By now the fans are going wild and cheering as the spotlights slowly make their way to the top of the entrance ramp where a dim fog begins to form.
“Truth is you can stop and stare, rub myself out and no one cares, dug the trench out and lay down there with a shovel up, out of reach somewhere… yeah, someone pouring in, make it a dirt glass floor again, say your prayers and stomp it out when they bring that chorus in.”
The spotlights come together as one, and the fog fills the top of the ramp until the downbeat hits and a major blue and silver pyrotechnic display goes off and the rest of the arena lights turn up to full. When the smoke clears James Raven is seen on top of the ramp, his hands thrown up over his head and a huge smile on his face. Next to him is Jonathyn Brown, his friend and partner for the night.
“I BLEED IT OUT!!! Diggin’ deeper just to throw it away, I BLEED IT OUT!!!”
James and Brown make their way down the ramp, high fiving fans and posing for pictures with several of them until they reach the base of the ramp. Then, Raven pauses for a few seconds and sprints for the ring, diving in under the bottom rope and sliding in to the center of the mat on his hands and knees. He poses for a second, then gets up and runs for the turnbuckle, climbing up and posing yet again for the fans before doing a 360 degree spin off and doing the same on the opposite turnbuckle. As his music fades out he stretches in his corner, and Jon Brown stands next to him on the apron.
Introducing first, fighting out of Toronto, Onario, Canada by way of Buffalo, New York… he is a living legend of the XWF… JAMES…. FUCKING…. RAVEN!!!!
The crowd goes nuts for Raven, and he soaks it all in.
And his partner, a former XWF owner and operator, from Portsmouth, Rhode Island…. JONATHYYYYYYN BROOOOOWN!
And finally… their partner…
"I Wanna Rock!"
The high pitched wail of Dee Snider pierces the air as the Twisted Sister classic pumps through the PA system. As two big pyro towers shoot off on either side of the stage, "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane spins out of the entrance ramp, wearing his favorite t-shirt, a cutoff Faster Pussycat screen print, long silver tights and shining silver boots. The crowd pops as Loverboy struts down the aisle, strumming the air guitar and leaping into the air with a jumping split. As he hops onto the ring apron, he swings around, facing the crowd, and pumps his fist along to the music, singing along and inciting the crowd to do so as well.
He is the former longest reigning Universal Champion in XWF history and current co-owner of the company… from Los Angeles, California, weighing 230 pounds…. LOVERBOYYYYYYYY VINNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!
The crowd pops hard for Vinnie as he gets into his corner and exchanges high tens with his partners. They discuss strategy for a bit and then Loverboy himself stays in the ring.
It looks like the XWF’s two owners are going to start things off for us, Luca!
That’s top kek right there!
I have literally no idea what you are talking about, young man.
At the bell, Loverboy immediately starts jawing at Theo Pryce, getting nose to nose with him. Pryce stands still, smiling and nodding in a ‘bring it on’ fashion, but Loverboy instead backs into his team’s corner to confer with James Raven.
Raven looks a bit confused, pointing at Theo and giving Lane a bit of a pep talk. But Lane instead smiles, tosses his hair back, and tags Raven in.
A little bit of mind games from the Loverboy?
Raven shrugs and enters the ring, and quickly locks up with Theo, shoving Pryce into the ropes and whipping him across the ring. Pryce ducks under a clothesline and leapfrogs Raven on the rebound, then catches Raven with a high dropkick that sends the XWF legend to the mat!
The Tag Team Champion attempts to follow up with an elbow drop, but Raven quickly kips up. When Theo stands again he’s upended right away with a drop toe hold. Raven transitions into a float over hammerlock, but Theo gamely rolls into the pressure and reverses into a hammerlock of his own. Raven is right by the ropes, however, and slips under to the floor to escape.
As soon as Raven powders out, Theo runs the ropes and skids under the bottom with a baseball slide… but James Raven pulls the skirting out, trapping Pryce between it and the ring! Raven slams Pryce face first onto the apron, then grabs him and executes a neckbreaker across the skirting and onto the concrete floor! Theo is bent awkwardly backward and flops onto the floor grabbing the back of his head as Raven re-enters the ring.
It looks like Lane wants back in the match!
Yup! Nigga wavin’ his hands around like he’s hailing a taxi!
James Raven tags Vinnie Lane in, and Vinnie stalks Theo as he slowly crawls back into the ring under the ropes. He surges forward, stomping and kicking at the King, then pulls him up by the head and snaps off a crisp suplex before taking a stroll to the Kings’ corner and taking a swing at John Samuels!
Samuels tries to enter the ring to retaliate, but referee Mika Hunt steps in the way. Lane takes advantage of the distracted official and starts choking the downed Theo Pryce, continuing even after Hunt turns back around and starts her five count…
1…
2…
3…
4…
Right at the last second Lane lets Theo go, then stands up and gets in Hunt’s face, shouting at her audibly about who he is and who she works for.
Lane turns around and almost walks right into Theo Pryce! Theo’s gotten to his feet and looks ready to go, but Lane is begging off…. And then calling for a traditional test of strength!
A little Greco-Roman showmanship here from the Loverboy, looks like he wants to show off his training!
Theo takes him up on it, and the two men lock hands over their heads. Before they can even begin, however, Loverboy sends a hard headbutt right into Pryce’s face, and then hits the ropes and charges into his knee with a chop block! Theo hits the mat hard with a nosebleed clutching at his knee and Lane pulls him perpendicular into a corner, then scales the ropes… LOVERBOY WITH A HUGE MOONSAULT!
Theo rolls away!
Lane slams into the mat chest-first, and before he can catch his breath, Pryce has made the tag to John Samuels!
As soon as Samuels gets a foot in the ring, Vinnie rolls into his own corner and tags James Raven in. Raven enters the match a second time, cutting Samuels off in the middle of the ring. Samuels and Raven exchange in a high powered exchange of punches and kicks, most of them blocked or deflected, until Samuels lands a powerful uppercut to Raven’s jaw and drops him.
Samuels moves in quick, going for a mount and attempting to follow up with some ground and pound. He lands a few strikes before Raven squirms away and picks his ankle, spiraling around and locking in a calk crusher on Samuels!
Samuels looks like he’s in some pain, but he’s close enough to the ropes to get a break. Samuels hops back to his feet gingerly, but manages to avoid a low leg kick from Raven by checking his shin. Samuels gets caught in an arm wringer from the faster Raven, but ducks under a short arm clothesline and slips his arm up into half nelson, falling forward and dropping Raven in an inverted Russian leg sweep.
Samuels looks to take advantage, but Loverboy swipes at him from outside the ropes, clipping him in the back of the head. Samuels shakes it off and turns to face Lane, who drops off the apron and jaws at him some more, distracting him from the lungblower Raven then executes to perfection.
Having seen enough of Lane’s antics, John Madison runs around the ring screeching like an owl and attacks him… but he gets cut off by an equally awkward Jon Brown! The two men paw at each other, drag each other’s tee shirt up over their pasty bodies and roll around on the floor kicking and biting at each other. Again, the referee is distracted by the extracurricular activity, and as she leans outside the ropes trying to regain some semblance of order Lane sneaks into the ring. He grabs Samuels and gestures for Raven to climb the ropes, looking for some sort of double team superplex attempt.
However, with Raven perched on the top rope, Samuels blocks the suplex attempt from Loverboy and shoves him backward into the corner, knocking Raven down onto his crotch. Loverboy staggers out and is caught immediately with a knee lift that sends him sprawling into a sitting position in the corner… and Samuels runs in and drills him in the face with a running knee blast!
Loverboy rolls out of the ring and collapses on the floor, and Samuels turns his attention to the still stunned James Raven, who hasn’t managed to regain his composure. Samuels climbs onto the second rope and grabs Raven… superplex! Raven hits hard, and Samuels wastes no time climbing the ropes again and diving off with a falling forearm from the second rope! He makes a quick cover, and Mika Hunt turns just in time to see him hook the leg!
1!
2!
Kickout from Raven!
Samuels doesn’t relent, right away snaring an arm around the head and neck of Raven in a firm chinlock. Raven’s back is torqued, but he manages to get to his feet after a struggle. He sends an elbow back into Samuels’ ribs, and a second. A third back elbow loosens the hold enough for Raven to slip out and hit the ropes… and he flies back at Samuels with a cross body block! Samuels is off balance and takes the move fully, though Raven doesn’t transition into a pinning combination, rather rolling through and slipping out through the ropes where he waits for Samuels to regain a vertical base.
Samuels gets up, and Raven slingshots over the top rope, drilling Samuels with a flying knee! Samuels’ head bounces off the mat, and Raven is pumped up as he waits again in his corner, setting up the Flight of the Raven.
Hold on though, looks like Loverboy is ready to get back in the ring!
Loverboy gets onto the apron and leans far over the top rope, tagging himself in… Raven looks perplexed, but he exits the ring and Loverboy jogs in, pulling Samuels to his feet and hooking his arms.
The homie’s going for the Black Label Driver!
This is gonna be it for the Kings if Lane lands his signature move!
Samuels kicks his legs and slips out of the move before Loverboy gets him up, and he turns right away to tag in Theo Pryce! Pryce enters the ring and Lane immediately heads into his own corner and tags Raven back in.
James Raven getting a lot of mileage in this match…
Raven looks moody as he once again enters the fray. Theo Pryce heads him off right away and gets in his face, pointing back at Loverboy and demanding Raven tag him back in. Raven is dismissive at first, but he turns to look at Lane, who just stands there looking angrier by the minute.
Loverboy says go ahead and tag him in! He’s got his hand out!
But when Raven heads over and goes for a tag, Lane instead sticks Jon Brown’s arm out. Brown is the legal man. Raven exits the ring and starts questioning Loverboy who just blows him off as Jonathyn enters and gets eye to eye with Theo Pryce.
Sweet Bepis, look at Madison!
In the Kings corner, John Madison is jumping up and down like a lunatic, screaming to get in the match. The smirks and backs away from Brown, sticking his hand out and letting the unpredictable Madison enter the match for the first time LEGALLY.
Madison rushes into the ring and tackles Jon Brown, and the two pick up where they left off outside the ring earlier in the match. Madison straddles Brown and starts slamming his head backward into the canvas, until Brown rolls it over and jams two thumbs into Maddy’s eyes. Mika Hunt admonishes Brown, physically pulling his hands away from Madison’s face, but the damage has been done and Madison is blinded.
Madison rubs his hands in his eyes and rolls onto his knees, crawling towards a neutral corner.
I don’t think John Madison knows where he is!
Jon Brown whips his tee shirt off and stomps over to Madison as he crawls, then wraps the shirt around his throat and pulls it back, choking the life out of him. Once more, Mika Hunt intervenes with a five count!
1…
2…
3…
4…
Brown lets go and throws the shirt into John Samuels face in the corner. Samuels catches the shirt, casually blows his nose into it, and tosses it back at Brown, who just swats it away.
LOWBLOW FROM JOHN MADISON!!!
How did the referee not see that? How did Madison even know where to strike?
John Madison always knows where a man’s genitals are, my dude.
Brown hits the mat like a sack of potatoes, and rolls over and over like a log back into his corner where James Raven tags himself back in. On the other side of the ring, Theo Pryce also takes a tag and once again enters the ring demanding Loverboy.
Vinnie Lane isn’t even on the apron, Luca! What the hell is he doing?
He’s got a plan? I don’t know, nigga, I’m trying to snapchat over here.
Loverboy indeed has dropped to the floor and is pacing back and forth with his hands on his hips, leaving Raven in the ring looking exasperated. He turns his attention back to Pryce, but Pryce is out of patience and sends a swift boot to Raven’s midsection with a shrug as if to ‘hey, we have to get on with it.’ Pryce lifts Raven in a Sammartino-style backbreaker, then drops him heavily forward into a gourdbuster.
James Raven has taken most of the reps in this match, it’s a real test of his endurance!
Theo heads off to hit the ropes, and as he rebounds Raven struggles to his feet and pushes Pryce into the air in a pop-up fashion, but Pryce adjusts in midair and lands on Raven’s shoulder, swings around, and drills James Raven with a scintillating satellite DDT!
Pryce Check! Pryce Check! Theo Pryce with a cover!
1!
2!
James Raven kicks out again!
Theo stalks Raven as he crawls off on his hands and knees, then hits the ropes again and leaps up looking for a hug curb stomp…
The Sovereign Stomp! This one’s over!
But just as Pryce starts to descend, Raven pops up straight, sending Pryce even higher into the air! Pryce comes down and gets caught in a modified RKO!
FLIGHT OF THE RAVEN! THEO PRYCE IS DONE FOR BUT JAMES RAVEN CAN’T CAPITALIZE!
Both men lie in the ring motionless. The referee begins a ten count.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
Raven rolls onto his back as Theo starts to stir as well.
6…
7…
Theo gets to his feet just enough to fall forward, reaching an outstretched hand to John Samuels and tagging him in.
James Raven gets near his corner but as he reaches out for Loverboy, Samuels gets to him and pulls him backward by one leg.
It didn’t look like Vinnie was really leaning out there for a tag to me!
Raven attempts a backwards enzuigiri but Samuels sees it coming and ducks it. He turns Raven over into a half crab, arching his back and applying a massive amount of pressure onto the spine of Raven. Raven grimaces and stretches out, trying to reach the bottom rope but can’t get there… and then Samuels pulls Raven a few steps further into the center of the ring and applies even more pressure by lowering a knee into Raven’s neck and pulling back the crab into a bow and arrow style submission.
There’s no way James Raven can take much more of this!
Loverboy quickly jumps into the ring and drills Samuels in the back of the skull with a superkick! Samuels falls face first onto the canvas and Loverboy is once again entangled in an argument with Mika Hunt. Hunt is aggressively pointing at the XWF logo on her zebra striped shirt, and Lane is shouting her down… until Theo Pryce runs over and clotheslines him out over the top rope!
The crowd pops HUGE for Pryce finally getting his hands on Lane, who bounces off the concrete and rolls halfway under the ring in pain.
Meanwhile, Jon Brown attempts to take advantage of the situation by sliding into the ring while the ref is distracted, but once again John Madison cuts him off with a spear! Brown is sent all the way through the ropes and spills out to the floor… and then Madison scales the turnbuckles.
John Madison is standing high above everyone, looking down at Jon Brown… what is he thinking?
Probably about that new Friday the Thirteenth, TBH.
Madison steadies himself, and then leaps down from the top turnbuckle into a double foot stomp to Jon Brown on the outside!
GOOD GOD! THE MAD STOMP TO THE OUTSIDE! HE COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!
Back in the ring, James Raven is caught off guard by John Samuels who drills him into the mat with a sudden Trouble in Paradise!
CATTLE PROD ON RAVEN! SAMUELS FOR THE WIN!
1!
2!
RAVEN WITH ANOTHER LAST SECOND KICK OUT! THE GUMPTION AND ENDURANCE THIS MAN HAS SHOWN TONIGHT!
CCCCCCRRRRRACKKKK!!!!!!
Outside the ring, Vinnie Lane splits open John Madison’s skull with a steel chair. Madison’s eyes roll back into his head and he falls limply to the floor, once again drawing the attention of Theo Pryce, who once again gets cut off by the ref when he rushes into the ring and uses it to cross towards Lane more quickly.
Pryce is pushed back into his corner and Lane pops up onto the apron, then slams the chair into the back of John Samuels! The chair is bent and distorted from the impact!
Vincent Lane has lost any semblance of trying to win this match fairly! He’s thrown the rulebook out the darn window!
Samuels collapses, and Loverboy drops the chair and then slides into the ring, pulling Raven onto the fallen former senator.
Loverboy rushes out of the ring before Mika Hunt can see him, then shouts from his corner for her.
GOD DAMN IT MIKA! FORGET PRYCE! MAKE THE COUNT OR YOU’RE FIRED!
Finally, Hunt sees the cover and dives for the mat.
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP BY SAMUELS!
Theo Pryce is stomping his foot in his corner, leaning as far into the ring as he can for John Samuels who is creeping towards him on his hands and knees, the back of his head bloodied by the vicious chair shot.
On the opposite side of the ring, James Raven is similarly making his way towards Loverboy in the corner, who seems displeased by the turn of events and is shouting at Raven to stop Samuels.
James Raven has taken an inhuman level of punishment, he needs to get out of the ring! Vinnie doesn’t seem to get the concept of teamwork!
Samuels makes the tag, and Pryce gets into the ring but seems content to wait for Loverboy to be tagged in as well.
RAVEN MAKES THE TAG!
Raven tags in Loverboy and slinks out onto the apron, barely able to stand. Loverboy doesn’t enter the ring right away, just stands there staring at Pryce who’s in the middle of the ring making ‘come here’ gestures with his hands.
Mika Hunt begins counting Loverboy out.
1…
2…
3…
4…
The crowd is intensifying, chanting THE-O, THE-O and losing patience with Loverboy’s refusal to engage Pryce in the ring.
5…
6…
7…
8…
GET IN THE GOD DAMN RING YOU PICE OF SHIT!
The audience member in the front row shouts at Lane so loudly that the XWF camera crews and gaffers pick it up clear as day.
9…
Finally, Loverboy does in fact step into the ring. The crowd erupts as he once again stands face to face with Theo Pryce, and the two actually lock arms in a collar and elbow tie up!
Finally!
The two men wrestle back and forth with no clear advantage for a few seconds, and then Theo flips Loverboy over in a hiptoss. Loverboy looks frustrated but pops right back up, charging headfirst into an arm drag takedown.
Loverboy gets up in a huff…and then walks over to his corner and tags in James Raven again!
I cannot believe Lane is expecting his partner to continue carrying the workload here! James Raven has barely had time to catch his breath!
Raven looks absolutely gobsmacked, but enters the ring at any rate. Loverboy keeps shouting at him to take Theo out, and the crowd boos its disapproval.
Pryce and Raven lock up, and Pryce quickly out maneuvers the worn down Raven. Theo whips Raven across the ring and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl, but James Raven manages to rotate through and arm drag Theo to the mat.
James Raven hitting some desperation defensive moves here, just trying not to get hurt, I imagine. Are you proud of your boss, Vinnie Lane, Luca?
Huh? Oh sorry. Listening to a podcast.
Kids today…
In the ring, Raven avoids a clothesline attempt but gets caught when he jumps up onto Theo’s shoulders for a hurricanrana. Theo puts on the brakes and pulls Raven back up, dropping him in a jackknife powerbomb.
Hold the phone! Raven had something left in the tank after all! He didn’t let go of Theo’s arm and he’s got him locked in a triangle choke!
Raven squeezes his legs and tries to get Theo to pass out from the choke, but he doesn’t have the strength left to get the job done. Theo manages to get to the ropes and the hold is broken, though Theo does seem equally gassed by the attempt.
Raven and Pryce both pull themselves up to their feet with the ropes, while the red hot crowd chants FIGHT-FOR-EVER and claps in unison. Theo staggers toward Raven… right into a superkick from out of nowhere!
FYS! FYS FROM JAMES RAVEN!
Theo spins around from the impact of the kick, and does a full 360… and Raven drills him with a spear!
THE DIVE BOMB! THEO PRYCE IS IN SERIOUS TROUBLE!
Raven goes for a cover!
1!
2!
Pryce kicks out! Raven looks frustrated, but impressed. He pulls Theo up, both breathing in huge gulps of air and on shaky legs. Raven hooks him and lifts him for a suplex… but Theo blocks it. He tries again… and it’s blocked a second time. Reversed!
Theo lifts Raven in a vertical suplex, but then adjusts and flips him down onto his back in a Gory Special hold!
PRYCE HAS HIM CAUGHT AND SET UP FOR KINGDOM COME, THAT REVERSE STO! THIS IS IT!
Theo flings himself back, but somehow James Raven twists and rotates his body enough to wing around to the front and reverse the momentum….
FLIGHT
OF
THE
RAVEN!!!!
Theo takes 100% of Raven’s finish for the second time in the match, and he lies unmoving and face down in the center of the ring. Raven stands up in his corner with a smile and heads to make the pin…
And Vinnie Lane tags himself into the match.
What the fuck are you doing?
Dude! I got this! I got it from here, man, thanks for everything!
Oh, well, heaven forbid anyone gets the glory but the Loverboy!
Loverboy enters the ring as an incredulous James Raven steps out, shaking his head. Loverboy waltzes to Pryce’s prone body looking like king shit of turd mountain, then pulls him up and hooks the arms, setting him up for the Black Label Driver!
THEO PRYCE WITH A SUDDEN SMALL PACKAGE!
1!
2!
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE KINGS WIN IT! THEO PRYCE KEEPS HIS SHARES OF THE XWF! VINNIE LANE IS LIVID!
| Winners by pinfall – THE KINGS |
NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I DON’T ACCEPT THIS! NOOOOO!!!!
Loverboy throws a full on temper tantrum in the middle of the ring, screaming and kicking his feet into the mat, pounding his fists and ripping his hair out.
Samuels, Pryce, and Madison celebrate while backing down the ramp, waving at Loverboy losing his shit in the ring.
Eventually, Loverboy gets to his feet and turns to Raven.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??? WHERE WERE YOU??? YOU HAD ONE JOB!
And then he shoves James Raven hard in the chest, pushing him back a step or two. Raven takes a deep breath and puts his hands up, trying to calm Lane down, and Lane rears back and spits right in his face.
YOU’RE GOD DAMNED WORTHLESS!!!!
Uh oh…
FLIGHT OF THE RAVEN ON VINNIE LANE! JAMES RAVEN JUST LEFT THE XWF OWNER UNCONSCIOUS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!
The crowd erupts for James Raven as he looks down at the unconscious carcass of Vinnie Lane, the wipes the sweat from his brow and walks out of the ring.
No one has any clue where Jon Brown went off to.
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