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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » High Stakes II RP Board
hi
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John Madison Offline
i want all of the belts on me



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#1
06-10-2017, 10:59 PM

Featuring
madison | samuels | doc | theo | caderella | luca/backstabber | russians


"Well, thanks for picking me up in that sweet limo anyway. You guys treat me so goodly!"

The scene starts off at a check point inside of a Russian prison where strip searches are being conducted. John Madison is sweating bullets due to the fact that he's not sure what he has hidden inside of his asshole. What if he misplaced Peter Gilmour's address in there? Or worse; what if it's the full plan to make America great again, that Donald Trump entrusted Maddy with?

"Mr. Guard. Um, can I please be excused to go to the bathroom?"

The guard gives John a stern look as he turns to him and draws his dinged up club.

"Also, can you point me in the direction of where those facilities are located?"

The guard walks up to John in dead silence, and swings his club into John Madison's balls like he was playing with them in a tennis tournament. John plummets to the ground on his side and shits out an entire set of Chinese Checkers. The marbles roll in unison to the prison guard's boot, and he kicks them along with the game board into John's face.

"Why didn't you just tell me no?! Now I have to get a new board game, and probably a new dick."

"Search this one immediately!"

"No! Don't search me immediately! Let me go to the bathroom first!"

This just gets the CO's more triggered as they begin to surround John as a pack and drag him to the front of the line.

"Help me, Theo! My entire life is in my asshole! There are classified secrets! Folders with red text on the front that says 'classified!' Trump's presidency on the line!"

"You're such a fuck up..."

"CAAAAAAAAAADRYYYYN!"

Suddenly, a confused Cadryn Tiberius parachutes gracefully into the compound with a cup of coffee and a tomahawk in his posesson.

"What the fuck? How did I get here? I was in line getting coffee and I was teleported here, like instantly."

"No one has been able to figure that out, but he used to do the same thing to Luca. At least he gave you a parachute. He would just have Luca fall wherever, back in the day. Did you make my coffee right by the way?"

"Uhhh."

Theo steals the cup and takes a sip.

"Perfect. Now, I see that you're armed with a tomahawk. I'm not sure why John in his infinite wisdom would bring you here armed with only a tomahawk."

"Fuck you, Theo. I wanted to see someone get a tomahawk thrown at their face today! Make that shit happen, rookie!"

The guards have John hoisted up by a crane like a pinata as they remove his trousers and begin to shake all of the trinkets hidden in his keister with their clubs. John's ass continues to spit out an endless supply of treasures. A shiny Rolex that he meant to give to Peter for Valentine's Day. The nineteen hours of promo from James Raven this week that no one is interested in watching. We then notice a USB thumb drive crowning out of John's anus.

"Look like John did put classified information in his asshole."

"clASSified."

"No. But look, we have to come up with a plan quickly now. Use that brain of yours."

The classified USB drive is now dangling from John's ass by the corner tip. The Russians are salivating over getting their hands on those US docuements. Just a few more blows to this pinata and they'll have our nuke codes.

"Let me see that real quick, kid."

Theo finishes his coffee, removes the axe from Cadryn's hand, and puts the empty cup back in it. Theo throws the tomahawk from 30 feet away and it slits the rope that's holding John up by his arms. John crashes into the ground, ass-first, which shoots the USB drive up his ass where it's secure again.

The Russians turn their attention to the direction of the attacker as Theo casually checks his watch.


"You're up, Caderella."

Cadryn knows his role, and nods at The Kings ™, probably hoping that they would recruit someone else to do all of the shit work that gets dumped on him.

"Alright, enough with the pinata. The party is over! Hand over the human filing cabinet and no one will get hurt!"

"Fuck you, Caddy! See if I let you store anything inside of me!"

"He's lying. You could probably stuff something in him right now and he'll gladly accept it. I'm not saying that you should, I'm just letting you know that this is the type of creature that John is..."

One guard migrates from the pack and towards the back of the line where Theo, Cadryn, and Samuels are trying to plan their next move.

"I think I hear someone coming."

The guard ignores Samuels, pulls out his pistol and rests it between the eyes of Cadryn. BAM!

The checkpoint is blown away by a battle tank approaching the compound. The entire compound goes into a frenzy as the tank rolls through the fencing. Cadryn, Samuels, and Theo regroup at the checkpoint where John Madison is dusting himself off.


"That Doc almost shot me with his fucking tank! What's he doing with a tank in the first place?!"

"Doesn't matter, let's go. NOW."

"Fuck off, I need to get my things first. Where's my Pokeball and Zippo lighter?"

"John, we need to go! I'll get you a new lighter."

"And a new Pokeball?"

"... I... sure, John. Yes. Absolutely. Now come on!"

The Three Kings ™ and their one maid ™ rush to the tank as the Russians try to establish order among the other prisoners. Cadryn is the first, and posts up in the main gun as Doc provides cover fire in the mounted machine gun. Cadryn looks jubilant to operate the main gun of the tank. However, John Madison pulls Cadryn out, punches him across the jaw, and throws him to the ground.

"You don't get to do that! You're the driver! Always the driver, Luca!"

"I'm not Luca!"

"Damn. It. LUCAAAA!"

"..."

After waiting for seconds, which John is not accustomed to, Luca Arezegotti begins to descend from the clouds to rescue John. John can always count on Luca when he needs something, and Luca is the best driver that John has ever fucking met.

"Drive."

"No."

"What?"

"No. You have 'Caderella' to drive you everywhere now. Oh yeah, and here's this."

Luca throws John's bags at him, knocking him to the ground.

"Don't bother calling again, ."

Luca gives John the middle finger and then backstrokes up to the clouds.

"Wow. Luca turned out to be a huge , didn't he? Alright Caddy, you're up. Don't hit any pot holes, and don't drive slow. Oh and Doc, you almost shot me, you bad hombre."

"Not bad for my first tank rescue mission though. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I'll give you that. Luca, get us out of here!"

"Cadryn..."

"'CADRYN!' Luca/Cadryn, same thing. Who fucking cares, Theo?"

Scene ends but our story shall continue later.

[Image: bsz3FUZ.png]

107 - 1 (Lost to Theo only because I have a shit fetish)
Second Greatest Wrestler Of All Time
King of the XWF

Current Events:
*Beat the Universal Champion*
*Beat the number one contender for the Universal Title*
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[-] The following 5 users Like John Madison's post:
(06-11-2017), "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler (06-11-2017), Doctor Louis D'Ville (06-13-2017), JimCaedus (06-12-2017), Theo Pryce (06-11-2017)




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