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Thomas Nixon · (06-12-2017)

The following is a transcript from the June 1st Edition of the NPR Politics Podcast. During the “Can’t Let It Go” segment at the end of the show, one of the hosts mentioned XWF Superstar, Thomas Nixon.

TAMARA KEITH: And now it’s time for “Can’t Let It Go”. Every week, each one of us shares something that we could not let go this week, politics or otherwise. Before the show started, Scott said he was really excited to share his, so go ahead Scott, you can go first.

SCOTT DETROW: Thanks, Tamara. I was flipping through channels on Saturday Night, and I stumbled on an interesting show that I hadn’t seen since a kid. I stopped on XWF wrestling and half watched it for maybe 15 minutes or so.

RON ELVING: Like Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage professional wrestling?

SCOTT DETROW: Yep, Ron. Just like that. But maybe seven or eight minutes after I put it on, one of the wrestlers that came to the ring caught my attention. His name was Thomas Nixon. So I pull up google and I check out his Wikipedia page. I was so shocked and surprised by the information I found. So this character, Thomas Nixon, is supposedly the undocumented son of President Richard Nixon.

TAMARA KEITH: Really?

SCOTT DETROW: Now, that’s the tame part of the story. He is undocumented because Richard Nixon and his wife allegedly traded Thomas when he was a baby to SHAPE SHIFTING LIZARDS and they promised Richard Nixon political support and help to eventually become president down the road.

RON ELVING: Check that off the bucket list. Talk about lizard people on the podcast.

[Cast laughs]

SCOTT DETROW: Now, this is where it gets confusing to me. It’s a ridiculous character, but I’m trying to figure out what they’re going for. So this Thomas Nixon goes on TV and YouTube and he talks about how he’s trying to end the oppression of the lizard people in our culture. It’s like he is making fun of the ‘college liberal’ type feminists. But I’m not totally sure if that’s the satire they’re going for. They could just be making a joke like “Richard Nixon was so corrupt that he worked with lizard people!” Either way, I spent about two hours going down that internet hole. So if anybody listening to the show knows more about Thomas Nixon, or if any of our listeners are reptilian shape shifters, feel free to e-mail the show!

[Cast laughs]

TAMARA KEITH: That was an interesting one, Scott, to say the least. Ron, is your topic about unicorns or leprechauns?

[Cast laughs]

End of excerpt.

* * *

The scene opens up to a small arena that holds a few thousand XWF fans that traveled from the surrounding cities to the event. It was another XWF house show, and the card tonight is not particularly strong. All the XWF regulars, the ones that fight week after week on television, are preparing for their pay per view match ups at High Stakes. So this house show is essentially a glorified indie show with the XWF banner and stage.

Earlier in the week, Thomas Nixon received a phone call from one of the many general managers in the company. They offered him some microphone time in the ring, then the fans can go home a little happier knowing that they saw one of the singles champions in the flesh, even if he isn’t competing. The unnamed manager sounded desperate and agitated, so it’s safe to assume he already was turned down by Ax3 and members of the Kings.

“My Sacrifice” by Creed booms through the arena sending the crowd into a burst of cheers, one of the rare situations that people react favorably to Creed’s music. Thomas Nixon walks onto the stage wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans with his XWF Television Championship wrapped around his waist. He takes his time high fiving the fans on his way to the ring.

“Introducing the XWF Television Champion, THOMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS NIXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOONN!” The ring announcer exclaims. She hands her microphone to Nixon, as he enters the ring. The music fades out and the crowd’s cheers and chants slowly come to a halt. Nixon has a big smile on his face, which is a bit uncharacteristic for the Television Champion.

“It’s hard to make you understand how much I appreciate the warm welcome. This is kind of a heartwarming moment for me, walking out to the ring and hearing all of you, the fans, cheering me on. I’m not sure if you guys realize this, but this is the first time I’ve walked out to the ring and talked to the fans directly since I’ve debuted here. The last time I came out here to get a few words in, I was introducing myself. That was well over six months ago, and it was a few days before I picked up my first win in this company against Alexis Riot.

That was a long time ago, and you have seen me evolve before your eyes. You watched me win my first ever championship at Wild Card Weekend. You watched me defend that belt against Broken Hart and Brandon Moore, and at the time, I was the fighting champion here in the XWF. You saw me suffer some tough losses against Jim Caedus, and you saw me fail in a triple threat match on a cruise ship. And then you watched me go after Michael McBride, and now I’m once again XWF Television Championship.”

Nixon pats the belt around his waist, and the crowd cheers.

“Win, loss, or draw, I’ve given my all in every single match I’ve been given. There haven’t been any bad days, and I haven’t let anybody run right over me. I’ve proven that I’m one of the most exciting men on this roster, and the evidence is there every week on Savage during the main event.

And I’m telling all of you, the fans, because I know that you guys know it’s true, you’ll defend my words. You see my intensity, you feel my passion, and you thrive off the energy I bring. But some people don’t see what all of you see. I’ve been able to energize and excite all of you, but I have this overwhelming feeling that the management team of this great company doesn’t believe in me.”

The crowd boos.

“I’m not accusing them of anything ridiculous. I don’t think they are sabotaging my every move, and I don’t think that they are out to get me. They simply have no urge to make me the face of their company. They don’t see the superstar potential that you see. And that isn’t a baseless feeling.

Look at the last few weeks in the XWF. I toppled Danny Imperial and Jack Cain and I came out of that match with the Television Championship. I followed that up by taking care of Mezian in a hard fought encounter. Then, I was truly tested. I wrestled the King of X-Treme, Peter Gilmour, and I pinned him fair and square in the center of the ring on prime time television.

But the following week, the XWF allowed Ax3 to take over my title match. I “lost”, and let me say that again with air quotes “lost”, against Cadryn Tiberius. This is not a knock on Cadryn, I wish him the best against Robert Main and he is a talented athlete, but Jim Caedus refused to count to three after I hit the Nixon-Nator on Cadryn. I was pinned after Caedus took me out and covered me with Cadryn’s limp body. The official decision is that Cadryn won the match by disqualification, and I held onto my title.

Now, the XWF has used this “loss” against me. In their eyes, they demoted me after that match, even though I got beat up by the referee, not my god damn opponent. So I dropped in the power rankings, while guys like Cadryn surged past me. Not only does that not make any sense, but I find it disrespectful to myself and all of the people I represent.

But there’s a simple reason why I dropped in the rankings. They don’t see me as a high level competitor. I haven’t sold them on it. And that’s because I’m not the typical XWF wrestler. You see guys like Ax3 and the Kings, they make a big deal about whatever shit they’re doing. They get melodramatic and they are hypersensitive whenever someone looks to pick a fight. They fight each other backstage and they toss around childish insults even with a little bit of fancy alliteration.

I don’t play those games. I walk out to the ring and I leave it all there. I don’t harass the General Managers for title matches, and I don’t toss around weak insults. I don’t make short term friendships and enemies. I’m not into the petty games of “he said, she said”.

Even though I just beat a former Universal Champion, Peter Gilmour, the XWF still decided to relegate me to a six man clusterfuck match that is opening the show. And that’s for every reason I just mentioned, but I’m not out here to complain about their poor decision. I want you to all know what to watch for on the Pay Per View. I’m not going to whine and bitch until someone changes the rules for me. I’m taking this unfavorable match up in stride. I’m against five other men, and if any of those guys are pinned, I could lose this belt. This is my biggest challenge yet because this match is going to be absolutely chaotic. It’s going to be crazy, it’s going to be a brawl.

And the stakes aren’t just my Television Championship. If I can walk out of that ring and leave five challengers empty handed, then there is no way in hell that I can be overlooked, like I have been the last few weeks.

I’m at the point in my career where my bosses don’t buy into me, I hear people joking about me on the radio, and I’m struggling to find a legitimate sponsorship deal. But the people that cheer me on through thick and thin are all of you.”

Nixon turns and points towards each segment of the crowd, as a “Thomas Nixon” chant begins to ring out.

“So High Stakes isn’t about proving myself to the fans. It’s about proving why you all have been right the entire time. It’s time for the world to jump on the Thomas Nixon bandwagon and unite around our common goal! We will end the oppression that is plaguing our world and we will make things right for the lizard people!”

The crowd roars, and “My Sacrifice” fills the arena once again. Nixon sets the microphone down, and rolls to the outside of the ring. As the announcer announces that the show will now go to a brief intermission, Nixon mingles with fans with ringside seats, as the scene fades to black.

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