(Continued from backstory in "Boston Bout")


-OCTOBER 30, 2011-


The close of October had been a blast. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday so Holly and I had made sure to attend Knotts Scary Farm and Six Flags Fright Fest, the latter at which I'd run into none other than "hey, it's that guy" actor Clifton Collins Jr. who'd recognized me as well and given up mutual love. He'd then asked in amusement, "You dragging your pregnant lady through the mazes?" Holly, tough bitch, had laughed and answered back, "I can take it."

As fun as all that had turned out, walking into the Long Beach Convention Center to easily purchase two tickets day-of (suck on that, pre-purchase pissants) for Long Beach Comic & Horror Con 2011 on October 30th for some reason truly persuaded my inner-fanboy to burst free...I'm talkin' that special so-excited-gotta-take-a-dump feeling...and I'd made sure to round out that ugly $43,999.99 in my account to a flat 40k so I had the bread to walk around as if I owned the place, snatching up every single rare treasure I desired upon discovery.

I handled what few wrestling fans I had among the Con's patrons then set about my plan. I'd handed Holly an even thousand to throw away on whatever whim might strike her then set about my own hunt.

It's amazing how easy it is to haggle when you're bartering from a position of paid and not poor. They see you have the money, they tend to bend in the hope you'll spend more.

I used this to my advantage loading up on collectibles I pay half price for from Futurama merch, to luscious lesbian art prints, to a multitude of mint-in-box action figures and figurines.

I was quick to pick up the three items drawing everyone's eyes as well: an articulated talking electronic 12 Boba Fett and vintage Empire Strikes Back release figure both signed by Jeremy Bulloch as well as what was advertised atop the shelf as a "Sega Giveaway" but turned out to be a rare Neco 12" talking Chucky doll.

The Chucky doll turned out to be the best decision I made that day, Ed Gale was in attendance signing. Ed played the midget stunt man version of Chucky when realistic movement, running, etc were needed during filming...he's also one helluva lil' man. He spent a full 20 minutes shootin' the shit while the line of customers behind me grew more and more impatient. In the end I have him sign the Chucky doll.

I pay Erika Eleniak a visit, we'd met before on Beverly Hillbillies the film and I remind her of that fact by producing a photo of the two of us posing in wardrobe. SHE spends 30 gabbin' with me, admiring how I'd filled out from gangly blonde haired blue eyed cutie to solid slab of professional wrestling muscle. I noted how jealous "Jill" from Saw (John's wife in the franchise) had appeared havin' to sit there as Erika and I conversed, not a single body in line to see her. It reminded me of the time I caught Corey Haim at Frank & Sons sittin' at a table with his mom, no interest in his presence shown from those around.

I stop by Felissa Rose's booth and tell her how awesome the ending to Sleepaway Camp was. She loves that I'm a fan and poses with me for photos, doing her best impersonation of her horrifying open mouth final shot in the film.

I have John Carpenter sign a Michael Myers figure. He was a dick. Fuck John Carpenter. For that matter, fuck Robert Picardo as well, the prick had shrugged off my marking out for The Howling, preferring I was a fan of his Trek work. I have him sign my Howling DVD anyway.

By the time Holly and I depart, midday, we've stocked up on enough cool crap to open our own fuckin' booth. I've never seen her so happy.

Making our way down the sidewalk outside the convention center towards the parking lot, Seth Green, and ONLY Seth Green, no other Con customers in sight, approaches on his way TO or BACK TO the event.

We both stare at each other as we near and cross and I get the sense he wonders if I recognize him. Yeah, I know who you are Seth, I just don't care.

You know who _I_ am?

I'm the motherfuckin' king.


TBC
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Keep Talking"







-Friday April 21 2017, 11:25 AM LOCAL-

-Four Seasons, Boston, Massachusetts-


I flip beneath the warm water of the heated indoor pool and kick off the wall, continuing my morning laps up on the 8th floor of the Four Seasons.

I'd caught breakfast in The Bristol earlier then retired to poolside for a cup of gourmet coffee followed by push-ups, crunches and my current swimming session.

Satisfied once I've spent an hour, I lug myself out, towel off, pull on my Ax3 T and Dickies shorts and walk up to the glass walls overlooking Boston Gardens.

I produce my phone from my pocket and prepare it for promo.

......................................................................

"Tidbitch, tell poppa Slathe to slither his ass on outta here for fucksake. All he does is weaken your already frail fisticuffs and the brutal proof is in the blood pudding. I offered to dispatch the dickhead for you awhile back, you should've taken me up on it. When you've deigned to emerge from the muck serving as your poor-man's version of Ra's Al Ghul's Lazarus Pit, I want you to view the promo he uploaded while you recovered.

I'm not to be blamed for the actions of Ax3, I'm not the leader. The shot-caller's clearly Chris Chaos and the events of Warfare were in response to YOUR prior unwelcome advances and actions toward Jenny Myst. You think that had something to do with my TV Title? Fellas, please...ain't no one worried Tidbitch might take it, that's a joke and if any of us feared The Truth, we wouldn't have made a mockery of you exposing you for the ineffectual imbeciles you truly are. Slathe specifying that I in particular fear you is even more ludicrous. You're a monster are you Tits? Better pray that ain't the case, I _drink_ Monster, I don't run from it.

At least massa Slathe got one thing right...we did cause a lotta damage to his gimp-in-waiting. It was titillating torturing Tidbits. I'll be doing it again tomorrow night. Slathe you speak as if your son hasn't been rackin' up the losses since signin' on the dotted line. You act as if my Ax3 associates are needed to subdue that masked sack o' spastic sphincter and completely miss the mark by questioning what it is I think I'll do in a Triple Threat with him in it. Gee, I-D-K...possibly bring the same intensity and skill I swung in the Lethal Lottery IV Triple Threat Final for starters? You know, that main event match including Trax and Dolly Waters where I pulled off the impossible to become Mr. 24/7? Yeah, that one. Your rubber-clad conformist kid is in deep shit, I don't give a good goddamn what you claim of his 'possibly' being stronger than ever, or 'brain reprogramming' both of which, by the way, I'd bet turn out to be the exact same suck Tidbitch is known for. 'Brain reprogramming'...that's a good one. Reinvent, update and rehash all you want, you won't be, and are incapable of, making the changes required to wrangle Jim hack-killer Caedus. Maybe add a pistol to the repertoire, you can feed yourself a bullet when that all finally sinks in.

Don't _you_ start in now with the callin' of my comrades leeches. We're brothers, bitch, friends...your son was one _of_ them, fast on his way to becoming SOMEBODY in the XWF. You robbed him of that, Slathe. Tidbits would've shined among us equally as bright...and until he sheds your dead weight he'll continue to disappoint. Period. For now he's nothin' more than Tidbitch, right hairy-palmed hand of the circle-jerk joke that is The Truth. I don't hide behind my boys as you say, like Tidbitch cowers to your 'power'. I _choose_ to align myself with my cocky compatriots, I NEED no one. They'll never play any kinda deciding factor in my matches, they know I can handle my own shit like I had been _before_ we joined forces. Jumpin' your sorry asses in the tag was a treat meant to celebrate Chris's addition like the arrogant aggressive assholes we are. You sure do have a flawed and perplexed perspective on things, Slathe...makes me wonder if ganja is the sacrament you partake of while worshipping your RPGod Hated Htaed. Slide some o' that satanic sess to Tidbitch, he's gonna need it come Savage.

You've admitted you and your followers don't care about the Television Title, only wanting to see me stripped of my glory. That's sweet o' you, Slathe, but I'm afraid I can't oblige. Even the fans wearin' the Tidbits masks and carryin' around clown sticks know their hero doesn't stand a chance at leavin' the arena a happy camper if it's a kaput Caedus he's expecting to see.

Danny...you seem upset, mad even...bro. Is that all it takes to hit you with the Caedus Effect? Strike that, I did pimpslap you pretty hard, didn't I. Now you know what you're up against...

Ooooo, did you 'check into' my career here, Daniel? You gotta problem with my denying that I've dominated? Tryin' to say I'm lying? A. I'm honest. B. You didn't check hard enough, idiot. Yes, I _do_ have a mixture of wins and losses Dan and I'm utterly dismayed at your dumbass dipshittery ignoring my stating that I've lost to Robert Main. I also have a draw on my record thanks to Cady-cat, that's Cadryn Tiberius FYI since you apparently don't pay that close of attention. What's more, while the tallies might not be on any official book of record, I've also _technically_ lost once to Mini Morbid and Nate Higgers in the Federweight Hall. No, Danny, I HAVEN'T dominated, I've experienced my share of non-Vs like you'll be experiencing tomorrow night on Savage. I was a fool to think you had it in you to give me a challenge, chump. You've let me down. Don't make the match too easy on me, I may just lose it, pull your Polynesian head off, stick in on the end o' my cock like Cady/Fravy and piss it up into the rafters. Fob Samoan or Tongan or whatever the fuck mutt race you claim, horse-eaters all B-T-W...your heathen ass is headed for the promised land sent by the very image your people fell to their knees and prayed to upon introduction...the white man, motherfucker.

You're meticulous all right, meticulous in your meh brand of boo-worthy words and piss-poor points. That's just like a punk kid callin' a man 'old' when he's accidentally fucked up his own argument. It's a shame you spent so much time at the zoo tryin' to tell me how smart you are, lecturing me on the definition of domination, the meat 'n taters of your tirade opening, not realizing you were either too lazy or too blind to discover what I told you of my non-dominance a minute ago. All that footage, all that energy...wasted, wuss.

It's a good thing you _aren't_ a college student, you'd have been embarrassing your institution looking so ignorant up against a man who, yes Danny, _never_ attended, other than two years at a JC. Is it humiliating knowing a man who was and still technically _is_ homeless, a fuck-up, is learnin' you lessons left and right? Speaks volumes for the collegiate experience and it should tell you, it doesn't matter what the fuck you read in a motherfuckin' book or hear from some punkass professor...a man like me, Daniel, is unlike anyone you've ever met before or will again. I read, true. I also live and I've done it stronger and harder, accrued more lifetime experience at 37 than many have by 74. Caedus kills.

You give yourself FAR too much credit assuming you're in this match because you earned it or have proven yourself a contender. Danny, Danny, dum-dum Danny...you're in this match because I haven't faced you yet and they're running low on new opponents. Silly stooge fulla splooge and moxy, you're filler. Yeah, you have skill, but compared to me you just can't cut it. Don't you recall what I said about my hunger in that video vignette? Kato must feed me every week...... Howdy main course, I'll be your eater for the evening, turnin' you into shit before poopin' you back out into Slathe's rejuvenation swamp so's I don't get suspended for straight killing talent under contract.

You continue to push that pathetic paltry point that Ax3 and really, gang warfare in general is for pussies... Have you not been paying attention...AGAIN? Didja perhaps notice Drake and The Revival? Doc and his Three Kings? Daniel, gang warfare is upon you and the XWF as a whole...you're gonna be changing your tune pretty soon, I'd bet, mark my words. Try stickin' to solo in war, you'll end up gettin' smashed and kicked aside with the rest o' the unpopular, especially when those stables are built upon a foundation of proven champions and warriors. None of us, not ONE of us needs anything other than our own skills...and joining together to topple for the Trio or Tag Titles is only logical should that be what any of us pursue. Or did you think tag and trio teams were all randomly glued together? You overlook that little detail, ya dunce-cap-crowned cocksucker?

Tidbitch, Dummy...if the two of you are quite through jackin' off I'd appreciate it if you stepped it up like you had some REAL ambition... Unless, as is quite possible, you just don't have it in you. Well fuck that and weaklings like you. I'm Jim fuckin' Caedus, the man who'll be wipin' his ass clean o' two crippled clingers."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX