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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · **05-11-2013, 11:19 AM**

Act 4: Of All the People...

"What the fuck? Of all the people who could possibly say anything at all about this fucking match, it's this one?

Not fucking Markus Conan, who managed to lose to the Crimson Dong? I mean I would've loved to ask him how he feels after becoming the new laughing stock of this entire fucking company.

Not even Danny Devia, who's been so consistently

that he deserves a fucking medal?

But you, Chester Brock? Can you even spell your own damn name? You come in, on your debut with the fucking privilege of facing a champion, and you're going to put out one of the most pathetic and half assed bits of trash talk I've ever heard in my life?

Have you no shame?

I swear this guy thinks he's on Warfare or something, where that lackluster attempt might get called a good quote due to the effort he put into it. Yet he lacks any hint of skill when it comes to talking shit that I have to give him a lesson about it.

Listen up prick, I might just jam something into that nonfunctioning brain of yours.

Lesson 1: If you're going to talk, say something interesting! I had problems following this step with you because let's face it, you're about as interesting as watching paint dry while measuring the height of a patch of grass! Not one single thing you said had any merit or intrigue about it. All it happened to be was a bunch of the bland 'this guy shouldn't be respected because I'm fucking cool and whatnot' shit that everyone can spew with a few minutes of preparation. Which leads me into the second lesson.

Lesson 2: Be prepared! Your little offering was about as prepared as an 8th grader's fucking book report! Did you even think of anything you were going to say before you said it? Now I know not everyone can be as naturally well versed as I am, which is why this is even a lesson in the first place! Everything you said was a bunch of who shot John bullshit that I doubt even your brain could see where you were going with it. Oh wait, your brain probably forgot what you were even talking about halfway through and just started making shit up, hoping it didn't repeat itself.

Lesson 3: Be original! It seems like you just took what I said to Devia in my first offering and regurgitated onto me without any of the wit I showed. Also, the whole 'no one in the Black Circle even respects Luca' is such a crock, I even made fun of it myself! Good work, jackass! Fuck me, do they ever learn?

Lesson 4: Don't focus in on one person when you speak for the first time! You only care about me? Cool, I don't roll that way though. There are two others in this match, and you didn't even find time for them to get your shitty trash talk? My time is much more valuable than yours and I could do it. I know they aren't very special, but I gave them their time in the sun. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass every once in a while, you'd see when things go over your head. Like trash talk, which certainly isn't your specialty.

Finally, Lesson 5: Don't be an idiot. This should be the easiest of them all, yet you managed to fail even that. Let's go back to that Black Circle crack once again, shall we? If I wasn't respected by members of my own fucking group, than that means one of two things...

1. Shane didn't help me win the title at Gauntlet City, which means I beat Angelus, a much tougher opponent than you ever will be, alone and proved my worth to hold this belt.

OR

2. That Shane did help me, and since Shane is the head of the fucking Circle respects me enough to put the title around my waist.

There, the only possibly decent zinger you said was just decimated my a superior man and speaker than you.

Don't forget this, I just jump started the education you'll continue to receive tonight, when I fuck you and the other flunkies up. Maybe you'll even get to remember your name this time!"

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