An XWF live event at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn is the scene. My name is Jim Ross, and for more than 25 years I have watched Kevin Nash go from Vinnie Vegas and Oz in WCW, to Big Daddy Cool in the old WWF days, to a groundbreaking mega star kicking off what would come to be known as the Monday Night Wars once he jumped ship back to WCW. The nWo changed the landscape of professional wrestling as we know it today. Kevin Nash, once known as Diesel, has suffered an unexplained phenomenon. It's always 1995 in his mind. When 2016 rolled over to 2017, Diesel rebooted. He once again celebrated his 8 second WWF title victory over Bob Backlund and offered up a rematch to Bret Hart, whom Backlund defeated for said title at the 1994 Survivor Series.

When 2017 rolls over to 2018, I can only assume it'll happen again. The XWF stars of today take a likeness to those stars of the past, at least in Diesel's mind. As long as Diesel has hung around the XWF, the XWF has always been the WWF. Vinnie Lane has always been Shawn Michaels. Doctor D'Ville and his bald, tattooed head, has always been Bam Bam Bigelow. And poor Steve Sayors. He's always been Todd Pettengill.

Madness was Raw.

Warfare was Superstars.

Shove it was the Action Zone.

These days, one could only guess what XWF stars and entities take a 20+ year old likeness to someone or something from the New Generation era of the World Wrestling Federation.

I question, XWF fans, you may have is WHY is Jim Ross narrating Diesel's convoy into the XWF? The answer is simple, as much as I love my job doing play by play, I felt I needed to protect the interests of an old friend. One that's not in the frame of mind to protect them himself. As part of Diesel's contract with the XWF, I came along too. In addition, Steve Sayors is required to answer to the name Todd. He's required to fully indulge Big Daddy Cool in his quite frankly, odd fucking persona.

Steve Sayors stands in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand. He stares at his feet.

"My guest at this time..."

Sayors looks up, wearing his WWF logo blazer.

"THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPIONNNN! BIG DADDY COOOLL.... DIESELLLL!!!!!"


HORRRRRRRRRRRRRN


Big Daddy Cool makes his way to the ring with his cool, champion swagger. He slaps hands with some fans near the ring and climbs the steps. The big man steps over the top rope and into the ring before standing in the center and Diesel posing with the WWF title as the lame 1995 WWF pyro goes off behind him.

Sayors polyester WWF logo blazer catches fire momentarily as he inadvertently stood in the middle of the pyro.

The music fades.

"Big Daddy Cool.... welcome to Brooklyn!"

"It's GREAT to be back here in Brooklyn, Todd!"

"Next week on a special Monday edition of Sav....

"Fuck.

"On Monday Night RAW, you are involved with O'Connor, Holliday and Juni in a fatal 4 way match! What are your thoughts Big Daddy?"

Meanwhile, the WWF logo blazer is still smoldering.

"FIRST OF ALL, TODD! JUST BEFORE I CAME OUT HERE! I HAD A TALK WITH JACK TUNNEY! BEING THE FIGHTING WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION THAT I AM, I ASKED MISTER TUNNEY TO PUT THE TITLE ON THE LINE!

"MISTER TUNNEY REFUSED, SAYING THOSE THREE COMPETITORS WEREN'T WORTHY OF THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP!

"SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, TODD!?"

Sayors shakes his head.

"IT MEANS WIN OR LOSE, THE WWF WILL STILL BE RUNNING, ON DIESEL POWER!!

"I DON'T LIKE IT ANY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE BUT MISTER TUNNEY IS RIGHT! HACKSAW NEVER DID A DARN THING! RAVISHING RICK? THAT GUY ISN'T EVEN A REAL WRESTLER ANYMORE! AND AJA KONG? WHAT THE HECK IS A WOMAN DOING IN THIS MATCH ANYWAY!?"

Sayors sighs just as the fire on his blazer reignites. Sayors is oblivious to it though.

"Be that as it may, Diesel, they're still worthy competitors in the XW... WWF... and what happens if you're the one that gets beat?"

"THAT WON'T HAPPEN, TODD!

"I LIVE FOR THESE FANS AND WITH THEM BEHIND ME, NOTHING, AND I MEAN NOTHING, CAN STOP BIG DADDY COOL!"


HORRRRRRRRRRRRRN


Diesel Blues hits and Diesel starts to make his exit.

"I want a fucking raise. what the hell kind of interview was that?

"AAAHHHHhhhaaaahhhhhhhhh!"

Sayors only now realizes he's on fire as the scene fades to an xtreme shade of black and chrome.