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There's a fine line between winning and losing. What defines you isn't usually what you imagined. You do what you have to. Results matter. I did what I had to. I won. Here I am, Universal Champion. As the medical people rushed to the cell to scrape what was left of Chris Chaos off the mat, I had an epiphany. This was it. The dawning on a NEW XWF! BABY! I had to right all of the wrongs Chaos kept sweeping under the rug as champion. I began to think about all the promises I made before winning it. About how to be different. What makes a great champion? Is it talent... Chaos has that. Is it rapport with the guys in back? It could be part of that. Being likable, hate able? Some type of... Enigma? I feel like I have the ingredients right. Oh, except for one very underrated part.
It all starts with marketing.
An entire XWF Universe of fans looking for something... more. As Champion it has to be my obligation to deliver... doesn't it? And so from this day forward let it echo through the analogs of time. The day that the XWF STOOOOOOD STILLLLLL! Let it define a new generation of superstars entering with sweat and determination. THE SHINING STAR to carry the torch of X-Treme into the new MELENNIA!
LET IT BE KNOWWNNN THAT THE ULTIMATE EXAMPLE HAD A NEW SYMBOL. THE FUCKING BAR IS SET! THE GOLDEN AGE HAS FINALLY ARRIVED XWF! IT HAS A FACE... MINE! AND A NAME...
THE
RENO☆ERSE
ICONOCLAST WAS TEETERING ONE MINUTE... AND FACING DOLLY AND GRAVES THE NEXT!!!! It is an exciting time. The winds have changed outside. Can you feel it? So brisk and... new. The ultimate era has come to engulf us in the presence of... AN ICON.
But enough about me.
Despite the heavier waist I now sport, none of that matters... against a Dolly Waters. Against a Micheal Graves. The man who nearly beat the man... who nearly beat... me. But you and my partner have a lot in common, Micheal. You're more a like than you would ever care to murmur through those once darkened lips. Neither of you know how to sustain success. You show brief glimpses, then... poof. Disappear when the spotlight shines. I have the opposite problem. Luckily for you, this is a tag team match. Starring Dolly Waters.
Don't you think I remembered that?
It's not the only thing I know about our favorite second generation XWF original. After all, the Champion has to know what he's up against.
Dolly had the attention of the entire wrestling world.
No one had ever seen an adolescent girl dominate in professional wrestling. I guess it's still kind of hard to believe when you really put hand to chin to ponder. How does she do it? No, HOW DOES SHE?! A lot of us in the business have come back at one time or another from exile. From another Organization, or children's rooms like Micheal Graves. You fucking weird-o. Admit it Micheal. You learned Dolly was your partner and your thought bad bad things. About her. What you wanted to do to her... with... her. You wanted to marry her. You could've invited me and Chaos, to wish you a long lasting tenure... in jail. We could throw minute rice at the ceremony for good luck. Because that's how long your happiness would last... which is far longer than it will last at Savage.
It's gross, Micheal.
But I guess it's no more shameful than what you're use to, isn't it?
Amazing what you've gotten used to isn't it, Mike? Coming up second. You're becoming the bridesmaid we all love inviting, because we know you won't overshadow any of the real stars. Nothing wrong with being a complimentary piece. Even when you faced Chaos... trying to do... what I actually did. Take the belt from him. Well, all this time... not much has changed for you despite the fireworks between he and I. We are the Main Event, the ratings revolution, the Icons that spark the engine. You're just washer fluid. Leftover to smear up what never needed fixing. A means to an inconvenience, but by all means a survivable sacrifice. Take your opinions, and follow this... it's a map back to where you came from. Because all you will ever be here is second fiddle. Home is a good place for you. It's familiar and warm. Plus, if you were to stay... your only accomplishments will start with "WHAT... IF..."; you'll be asking yourself that for the rest of your life. "What if I hadn't left for ten years..."; "What if I was a better wrestler with charisma..."; "What if the world was nicer to me..."; "What if I had won that match with Dolly against The Icons..."; well, I guess we will never know what if. But we will know reality. You aren't good enough. You never were. WHAT IF... I told you the truth? I just did.
Just follow the map if you don't recall the way home. Type it into your GPS. It might be the first time in your career that you have a solid direction.
What are you, dark or light? I feel like I am at the grocery store trying to decide if the good beer is worth the extra dollar and calories, or if the light beer is really close enough to compare. You're doing the same aren't you? Trying to decide what will make a difference in you win-loss record? "I could be light, or dark, yeah I'll go with dark, wait, CAN I BE MEDIUM COLORED? I'll be gray...". I've seen better stories on Lifetime. Whatever you are... here's what I am; champion. I get it done. You on the other hand... get on the front page of tabloids by losing matches you had no business losing. It's impressive. I don't know how you manage to sabotage yourself so often, but kudos. Winners are born, they don't find "the light". They don't let themselves fall into "the dark". They are a consistent beacon of what you strive to be by searching. GREAT. It's one thing to want to be a great performer on the grandest stage... it's another to continually fight for opportunities and then flush then away again and again. Maybe it's a talent. Something modern day people overlook. We prefer foreshadowing. Know what will happen before it does. That's why this match is such a delight. Dolly hasn't won a match that mattered since... December? Weird, have you since then Graves? She was gone... weren't you... here? I mean maybe I am mistaken, and if so my apologies... we all heard your gums flapping, you would think over all that time there would be at least one solid notch in your belt? Oh, that's right. You wouldn't know how to handle a belt if you did have one. Much less how to put notches in it. Grave sounds more like your situation than your name.
And then,
There's Dolly.
The watered down version of a man who made a name for himself here by telling people to say their prayers and take their vitamins. How fucking original. I guess Muddy would be the right way to say it. There is nothing clear about Dolly, is there? Where did she come from, who was her mother, was she made in a lab, or are the steroids GENETIC!? Regardless, she could've been locked up in a Campbell's Soup can for the last three months, it matters not. A LOT has changed Dolly. Let me get you up to speed. Chaos is still going around trying to find ways to annoy everyone. I am UNIVERSAL CHAMPION. And Michael Graves is still the guy who is going to let you down. SO I hope you enjoyed your time off.
Last we saw you before you not-so-triumphant return to Lethal Lottery... you gave up the Hart Championship. YOU LEFT LIKE A COWARD. I stayed. Boarding cruise ships, winning contenderships, and extinguishing my partner's dying title flame. I've done what I had to do. You did what YOU WANTED to do. No one forced you to take banned substances. No one made Dolly Waters throw her countless dollars and a career away to go soul searching. WHO ARE YOU, DAVE CHAPPELLE? Wrestling doesn't work like that, kid. You go away and you get LEFT BEHIND. You get passed by the next latest and greatest. Dolly was once something to be reckoned with here. So was Ghost Tank, so was Soldier, so was... Muddy Waters.
What unarguable fact do they all share possession of? The same one you will be. None of them lasted. And none of them are 'The Radical'.
☆
THE
RENO☆ERSE
HAS SPOKEN.
Check out Backstage Page for full list of XWF achievements.
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