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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Lethal Lottery 4 RP Board
First Take
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Dolly Waters Offline
Always.



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
03-17-2017, 12:18 PM

Thursday, January 5th, 2017
ESPN Studios
…Bristol, Connecticut, USA…


DUNA-DUN-DUNA-DUN!


We’re brought into the illustrious studio exclusively home to ESPN First Take, where we see the lusciously big breasted, eye-candy-only host, Molly Qerim. She’s leaning over her desk setup, showing more cleavage than a Susan Sarandon photo-shoot whilst squinting her eyes with this dumbfounded look on her face that is supposed to give us the feeling that she’s about to report something earth shattering, and out of the ordinary for her normally drivel.

Molly: Good morning everyone and welcome to ESPN First Take, I’m your host, Molly Qerim. Joining us this morning as usual is our esteemed ESPN experts: Stephen A. Smith

The camera pans over to Stephen-A , who begins talking with his monstrous forehead wrinkling, dipping between high and low pitched vocalization like a mixture of Steve Erkel and Jesse Jackson as he usually does; while using large words to overly emphasize the fact that he is indeed an educated black man.

Stephen-A: First of all I want to say good morning to both of you lovely people including my bitter frienemy, Maxwell Kellerman. Da’ weather was treacherous ousside this morning, but we are in da’ house for you fine people at home who couldn’t get out to your places of employment this morning. Thankfully I’m an educated black man and went to college and now I get to ensconce myself and prattle with my excellence about da’ wide world of athletic happenings, so I don’t have to worry about waking up early to go work like a slave at a fast-food res-ta-u-rant.

Molly: Thank you, Stephen-A. Aaaaaaaand to his right, the one, the only, Mr. Max Kellerman.

The camera then pans over to Max Kellerman, the middle aged, clean-cut Jew with the totally forced Trans-Atlantic accent who always looks as if he’s a deer in headlights that’s fighting back the urge to take a massive shit on himself.

Max: Thank you, Molly, and thanks to everyone at home tuning in this morning.

Max awkwardly turns his entire upper body over towards Stephen-A without moving his head.

Max: Stephen uh I um uh enjoyed that bitter “frienemy” uh pluh plug there, Stephen-A. Bu- blah um uh but you’ve got to know that I’m never um uh bitter when you’re around. My um uh jur job is to make you eat uh um your words, which I do uh um uh all of the time.

The three share an uncomfortable and forced made-for-tv laughter which Molly drags out into an ‘eeeeeehhhhhhh’ sound as she moves into the show’s first segment. The camera pans back to her as she makes a dramatic looking face and takes a serious tone with her voice.

Molly: Ladies and gentlemen, before we move into what was our regular planned broadcast for today, we here on First Take are going dive into a breaking story out of the world of wrestling. Last night, during a live broadcast of Wednesday Night Warfare, the wrestling community was shook to its core as the reigning XWF Hart Champion, and wrestling phenom, Dolly Waters was arrested on suspicion of doping and possession of HGH valued at over five hundred thousand dollars found in her apartment. The World Anti-Doping Agency released this statement just this morning:

A graphic of a written quote shows up on the scree as Molly reads the quote verbatim.

Quote:“Per the regulatory conditions outlined by the International Athletics Community, we will be barring, indefinitely, XWF Competitor Dolly Waters from all competitive athletics. As the investigation into Mrs. Waters’ use of and alleged distribution of illegal performance enhancing drugs continues we will be steadfast in determining whether or not this will be a permanent or temporary ban. The date of Mrs. Waters’ hearing before the WADA-AMA committee will be determined at a later date.”

A very startling revelation gentlemen; we’ll dive into some more details here in a moment, but I’d like to get your reactions. Stephen-A?


The camera pans back over to Stephen-A’s forehead.

Stephen-A: Look, first and foremost I can’t even begin to express to you fine people in the applicable wording just how positively preposterous this entire situation seems to me personally. The XWF, which has long been known as a shady organization to say the least, for those people, given the extreme brutality and the despicable conduct that takes places on their shows every week, for them to have ever even allowed for a thirteen year old child to compete in those conditions is completely atrocious folks and-

Max decides to chime in, as if anyone gives a shit about his opinion:

Max: You know Stephen-A, I said that from the first time I watched Dolly Waters compete that I thought the XWF had reached a new low. It was obvious from the first time she fought on live television that she HAD to be taking some form of peds. I mean here is a child… A CHILD, who we all watched sometimes go into these fits of rage on national television, which one time nearly led to her decapitating a veteran like Barney Green with an axe for crying out loud. Listen I think the WADA did the right thing here by intervening and putting an end to this mess before someone, who most likely would have been Dolly herself, got seriously injured. The XWF was obviously going to do nothing about it because let’s face it, Dolly Waters was one of their most popular attractions and she brought that company and Vincent Lane in a boatload of money. It’s just sick.

Molly: Right, guys we all watched this stuff and many people in the political realm were speaking out about it, but there were times we’d see her on those shows just looking like she was being held together with masking tape. So for her to be as dominate as she was, do either of you believe at all that she’s innocent? Because the facts are she’s yet to actually be tested as far as we know- and all of this is hinging on the fact that law enforcement officials executed a search warrant on her residence and found the drug.

Stephen-A: Is Dolly Waters innocent in the idea that she was merely a mechanism used by the XWF to generate ratings while putting herself in serious, serious danger every week? Yes, I do believe in that regard she’s innocent. Folks we’ve got to remember that this is just a child, a very immature child who is obviously very impressionable, but she can’t be entirely at fault in this. What I would like to understand is why isn’t the question being asked about the XWF’s knowledge? What about her father, XWF wrestler Muddy Waters’ knowledge? When will these people be held accountable for the atrocity that’s happened here?

Max: That’s a great point too Stephen-A, and I think we should all feel saddened to a degree about this, but it’s so obvious though. In Dolly’s first match she wins the Television Championship against several other wrestlers, including current Universal Champion Chris Chaos… and you mean to tell me she wasn’t doping? C’mon! She’s seventy freaking pounds guys!

Stephen-A and Molly burst out into laughter.

Max: Unless it is proven somehow that Dolly Waters is actually an alien from outer space, or mutant or something of that nature, then say yes, she was two-hundred and ten percent doping. Which like Stephen-A was saying, MUST prompt the questions with the XWF higher-ups; what did they know? Is the doping culture a real thing in that industry? And if so, just how responsible are they for this tragedy?

Molly: Those are the indeed the questions I believe on all of our minds this morning, so with that I’m going to introduce our very gracious, very patient guest who is fresh off of a flight from Indonesia; a man who should be able to bring us in a little bit closer to the situation surrounding Dolly Waters. He is the current XWF Championship commissioner and former ring manager of Dolly Waters, Mr. Paul Heyman.

The camera pans over to a disgruntled, very sleepless looking Paul Heyman.

Molly: Paul Heyman, we really appreciate you joining us this morning; I know you must be exhausted right now.

Paul: Indeed, and you’re welcome.

Molly: Mr. Heyman, can I get your thoughts on the questions posed by Max an-

The frustrated Heyman cuts her off,

Paul: Let me just first respond to the idiotic things that these two overpaid blowhards were stating.

He says while turning to Stephen-A and Max,

Paul: You two have the audacity to sit here and bash a company like the XWF? A company that has provided gripping, and yes, sometimes grueling entertainment to an audience of over two billion, with a b, BILLION fans worldwide for years without any incidents like this one EVER occurring? This is unprecedented and hurtful for me personally. And now you’re suggesting that there is maybe a doping culture in our company? Where do you get off? The XWF isn’t the MLB or UFC or the NFL. We feature every week the greatest athletes on earth. Period. And for as much as you two want to sit here and try to spin the news to drive YOUR OWN ratings up, Dolly Waters is and was one of those great athletes.

Molly: Paul, if you don’t mind me stating, I would like to point out that it is a fact that Dolly Waters was personally trained, while under your supervision, by the former two-time Universal Champion Morbid Angel: an admitted steroid abuser.

Paul: That’s not a fact. Dolly Waters wasn’t under my supervision while she received her training. My agent didn’t advise me into reaching out to Dolly Waters until the fall of twenty-sixteen, after she had already signed her contract with XWF. So there again, you’re making up facts as if you were a White House spokeswoman or Kellyann Conway to try and make this story juicer then what it actually is. There is no doping culture in the XWF.

Stephen-A: Did the XWF know of Dolly’s HGH use before she was detained and banned from competition?

Paul: Oh, it’s so cute the way you ask that question Stephen-A with the fluctuating vocalization and all; I would think that given the size of that massive cranium of yours that you would be able to understand how stupid of a question that is. If the XWF knew of this, or in any way felt responsible for these actions that Dolly and Dolly alone took, that I would be sitting here having this discussion with you people today? No, of course not. You’d get nothing but a fancy euphemized written statement from our legal team that you would be broadcasting right now. I am as dumbfounded and saddened by this as the rest of you. Dolly Waters was an athlete the likes of which the world had never seen, and the hard truth is that the world wasn’t ready for Dolly Waters. DOLLY WATERS wasn’t ready for Dolly Waters.

There’s an awkward silence.

Paul: I wasn’t ready for Dolly Waters… I took her to the top of the mountain too quickly, and the pressure obviously became too much for her, and to no fault of her own. Dolly Waters could have been the greatest superstar this industry had ever seen. She was eventually going to be our Universal Champion, but unfortunately now she’ll only always be a could-have, because we’re never going to see her in the XWF, ever again.




A finger clicks pause on a computer mouse, stopping the Youtube video of ESPN First Take…

Friday, March 17th, 2017
…An unknown location…


The camera pulls back from the hand on the computer mouse and the computer screen to show us a rather large, baroque styled study, complete with large gold-trimmed bookcases on every wall and classical era furniture throughout the room. In the middle of the room sits the computer desk, and turning around in the desk’s chair to face the camera is none other than “The Phenom” Dolly Waters.

Wearing what appears to be her black Buronan outfit, she stares off blankly into the camera, perhaps gathering all of her thoughts, making sure that everything is clean, crisp and calculated to the nth of her precision before opening her mouth to speak. This is the first time Dolly has spoken in front of an XWF camera for a promo since removing the voice manipulating apparatus that gave her the voice of a male while portraying Buronan.

Just as it appears as if she’s going to speak, she rolls her eyes and closes her mouth again. She takes a long breath and sighs quietly, grinding her teeth a tad while snarling her lip in frustration. Dolly looks to be healthier than she’s ever been, which is saying a lot considering she’s been competing in the Lethal Lottery tournament for the last six weeks. Her face looks fuller, as if she’s gained more weight, and her eyes are much less saggy and sleepless as they were in the times leading up to her tragic arrest.

She sits there, forearms resting on her thighs, fingers of each hand interlocked together as she twirls her thumbs. Dolly turns her head away from the camera and looks to the large window illuminating the dark room with dust-filled beams of sunlight to her left. Is she going to speak? Has Dolly perhaps lost her step? Has it been so long since she’s spoken as herself that she’s forgotten how? The suspense is growing. We want to hear from Dolly, but she isn’t budging… She stands from her seat and walks near the window, gazing out into a free world from which she was once held captive from. Her fists tighten and suddenly…


“Paul was wrong.”

That charming southern accent we all missed so dearly bursts into our senses with the alarming ferocity of a tornado siren even though she only spoke lightly.

“Obviously that was a redundant statement to make, but it’s worth pointing out again… and again, and again, and again, AND AGAIN.

AND AGAIN!

AND AGAIN!

UNTIL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU HAS THE UNDENIABLE FACTS DRIVEN THROUGH YOUR SIMPLEMINDED SCULLS THAT DOLLY WATERS IS IN FACT BACK, AND THE ONLY REASON THAT DOLLY WATERS WAS EVER GONE TO BEGIN WITH IS BECAUSE SOMEONE IN THIS BUSINESS TRIED, AND FAILED MISERABLY AT ENDING MY REIGN OF DOMINANCE OVER THE ENTIRE WRESTLING WORLD!"


After roaring wildly, Dolly composes herself and turns her head back from the window and stares back into the camera while slowly walking closer toward the lens.

"I'm going to find out who framed me, and when I do, I ask that you all send as many pitiful and empty hearted prayers for said person's well-being as possible; cause there's not a chamber reserved for the most vile pests in Hell capable of inflicting as much punishment upon the poor fucker's mind, body and soul as what I'm preparing to do to them. In the Bible Jesus stated that his father required mercy in lieu of sacrifice from the sinners, well that's all fine and dandy, sweet and humane and all; but in this chapter of Dolly's Reckoning I say unto you all that I will mercilessly sacrifice anyone or anything that had even the slightest involvement in trying to upend my savagery before the Alter of my greatness.

I am neither sweet, nor humane. I am, as I have always been, an unscrupulous destroyer of man, a beast equipped with unearthly attributes who makes even the most powerful of Gods marvel and practice humility at my feet. I am "The Phenom" Dolly Waters, and I am back to take what is rightfully mine. The throne of the XWF.

And my quest resumes now: The Lethal Lottery.

What everyone has failed to realize since my first day in the XWF is that I possess a capacity for critical thinking and cunning that eclipses even the most astute fleshly creations of the Heavens. All along as I competed in disguise, as The Buronan, playing about a thousand steps down from my true capability, reserving my strength for this very moment, I intentionally set myself up for an advantage greater than anyone realizes.

Everyone of the Lethal Lottery finalists: Cadryn Tiberius, Trax and Jim Caedus all share one thing in common. They've never shared a wrestling ring with Dolly Waters, yet Dolly Waters has shared a wrestling ring with everyone of them. Dolly Waters partnered with everyone of them, yet none of them ever partnered with Dolly Waters. And in this time I learned from them their few strengths and their many weaknesses, and yet they still know NOTHING of the beast who will be walking out of North Korea with the 24/7 Briefcase.

Cadryn Tiberius is a man so incredibly inept and inefficient that he's totally dependent on the guiding hand of a leader like myself or Michael Graves to accomplish anything of value in brief career. He allows his weak mind to pull him in twelve different directions at once, from schizophrenia to substance abuse, Cadryn is unable to overcome himself, thus never realizing the potential of the God given talent bestowed upon him. Just wait... we'll be unable to count on the fingers of either hand or the toes of either foot how many times Mr. Graves will be making arbitrary appearances in his vignettes; solidifying their unmistakable status as the XWF's version of the Ambiguously Gay Duo. But don't let me speaking these truths deter you, Cadryn. I'm not so foolish as to not realize that in the Lethal Lottery environment a self fulfilling prophecy is impossible. So I'm imploring you, let me lead you again, just as I did in the semi-finals, because it will take a team effort to stomp out Caedus and Trax as we so certainly will. And once we've accomplished that feat, you will find yourself beneath my feet, scrubbing the deck as I put you out to sea, once and for all and have my arm raised in the position it so naturally finds itself raised. The victory position.

Trax."


Dolly chuckles and bites her lip a bit trying to hold back a grin.

Trax is a man so blinded by the mediocrity of his former glory that he's unable to adapt to the changing tides in the XWF. Just that line that I just spoke will send Trax into a complete tiz, so eager to disprove any claim that I've made impugning his history that he'll go off into a tangent bringing up his past accomplishments as if he doesn't remind us all of them all of the fucking time anyhow- and that's where he'll find himself on the short end of the stick. Because no matter how many times Trax goes back, boring us all to death while emulating an XWF promo style first made famous by that rapist Frodo Smackins, that's right, Trax is too dumbfounded to realize that he on day one in the XWF copied a shit promo style that had been regurgitated by on after the other and now he believes it's the key to success. But no matter how many times he barks about his win/loss record and his past title runs like a virus infected Wikipedia site, the truth is this: the only accomplishment has made since his lackluster return is making it this far in the Lethal Lottery. And that mon amie puts you right here with the rest of us, three competitors who you're no more relevant than. If Trax had it his way, he wouldn't be bothering with winning the briefcase, he would be dancing with Chaos one on one for the Universal Title, but he fell short. Just as he nearly fell short getting this far to begin with. Trax is unable to adapt, so he continues to monotonously cram the same trite tales of his past down our throats. That's exactly what he did when I teamed with him against Hero, and that's exactly what he'll attempt doing in two weeks at Lethal Lottery. Only this time you're not going against a scrub line up like a partner-less Hero, a Partner-less Doc or anything involving that failure Scully, are you? You're facing off with someone that you're steadily starting to realize is completely capable of putting you in your place. So go head Trax, run back to the past to try and negate anything I've said, tell us all about this and that that no one gives a fuck about; I'll be in the present, pleasantly delivering you the present of truth as you wake up to see me leaving Lethal Lottery in the driver seat of REAL F'N DOMINANCE!

And lastly, Jim Caedus. A man running a muck of the XWF roster, the likes of which haven't been seen since The October of Waters. He's bold, determined and capable. But Jim Caedus isn't unbeatable, the problem is that many people in the XWF these days are unable to bend and broaden their minds the way Dolly Waters does, because if they were, those who've fallen to Caedus as of late would realize that Jim has a nagging issue with his insecurity. They'd be able to see through his stupid little facade that way that I do. He's paranoid and delusional, believing for some strange reason that every top dog around here is gunning for his Television Championship. It's absurd, I know. This weakens him, causing him to react with his anxieties rather than his intellect, which believe it or not, he does actually posses. And this "intellect" of his completely contradicts his nobly rouge, humbly rough, sympathetic lone wolf caricature that he's tried portraying. Because it's so obvious that every time he opens his mouth and begins pouring his guts out in these long winded menstruating type rants that Caedus is nothing more than a pomp prick who spent his life being such a sad, drab little douche bag that on his first run of success in the XWF he suddenly now thinks that he is somehow better than everyone else. Nothing could be more false than such a sentiment. Confused, angry, paranoid, vain, insecure; these traits don't normally mesh well together, but this is the make up of Jim Caedus. In the end, it will be his undoing. Not a single person you've defeated Jim, from Nixon to my father Muddy Waters are people worthy of being in these finals. Beating scrubs like that doesn't make you better than anyone other then said shit scrub you beat. You haven't faced anything like Dolly Waters before in your life; and no matter how many times you and Trax decide to blurt out some ridiculous one-liners knocking me for my age which is a proven fallacy, no matter how many times you decide to go the ever vapid redneck/incest/hillbilly route which only got everyone else I ever faced knocked on their feeble asses, or no matter how clever you might think you are by stooping as low to bring up the non-existent steroid scandal, you'll know deep down in the back of your podunk brains that I've got both of your numbers.

There's absolutely nothing that either of you can say or do to knock me from my game, because I've done my due-diligence, and I have my competition scouted. Sure you fellas can go dig in the XWF vaults all you want, study my film, memorize my movements, but none of that will come anywhere near the experience I've gained from working unbeknownst to each of you, with each of you through this tournament. You're all fucked. I don't need to depend on a teammate to guide me, bring up the past for a desperate gasp of relevance or sensationalize about what the meanings are behind certain people 'liking' or 'hating' my promos are. I'll I've got to do is be me, Dolly Waters, the same person I've always been, the same threat to any title reign, the same person who Superstars desperately game plan for before their inevitable destruction, the same person who was destined to leave Lethal Lottery Four holding the 24/7 Briefcase.


Dolly deters from her slow-paced route to the front of the camera and walks over to a large globe and spins the earth replica, letting it rotate for a few seconds before stopping it in a particular spot with her finger.

I've given each of you a line of attack against me now, a means to rebuttal if you so wish to attempt in engaging me with a war of words, because I've never needed to be a respondent, it's not my style, never has been. Dolly strikes first. So give it your all, I'M BEGGING YOU! Prove me wrong, find the holes in my arguments pointing to each of your glaring shortcomings, and then do your best to humiliate me... in the end your best will never be enough, but I'll be waiting to hear your finger wagging cries.

Dolly removes her finger from the globe as the camera pans in showing that she had stopped the globe directly on the country of North Korea.

Better buckle up, bitches. It's gunna' be a long ride, and I'm only just getting started. Now ho's that for a First Take?

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
2x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

my loves:
[spoiler]
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