That was just uncalled for! Micheal Graves decided to make a fool outta me by throwing a moment of personal weakness in my face. Perhaps he's right though. Maybe I do talk down to Cadryn a little too much. I've said before that I almost feel like I'm a father to them boys, but the fact is neither of them boys are actually boys. They are both grown men and sometimes I forget that. I still don’t beleive that gives Micheal the right to bring up what happened between me and Mary though. (he fucked her in the men’s room yo!) Especially not in front of Cadryn. I’m trying to guide that boy. Set a shining example of what’s possible when you have the good lord leading the way. I can’t help it that I’m human and therefore I sin. That’s in our nature as people. Hell, that’s the whole point of the Bible and why Jesus sacrificed himself for our sins. One might say I’d be doing him an injustice if I didn’t perform the occasional sin or two. Either way, I figured that I needed a sweet tea to calm my nerves. Good thing there is a refreshment stand just ahead.

”Excuse me son, I’d like one sweet tea if ya please.”

Hmm, this boy looks a little confused by my request.

”I’m sorry sir, but we don’t serve sweet tea here.”

What!? How can they not serve sweet tea? It’s only the tastiest and most refreshing drink that our Lord ever created!

”Surly you must be joking son.”

”No sir”

He leans over his counts and points up. “Olaf’s Shaved Ice”. Well I don’t know what an Olaf is or why you would want shaved ice in your tea, but I’m getting pretty tired of people treating me like a dummy.

”See sir, this is a frozen lemonade stand.

That’s it! I may have held my cool when Micheal Graves embarrassed me in front of the entire restaurant, but I draw the line at serving lemonade over sweet tea! I feel a strong urge come over me. I can’t fight it. It’s like my body has a mind of its own. Before I know it I’m clapping my hand and stomping my feet in rhythm as I begin to sing at the top of my lungs.

Oh Jesus, he loves me, loves me through and through. Oh he shines his light on me, shines it bright and true.

Suddenly I reach into the lemonade stand and bash this young man’s head on the counter. I then rip him out of there by his collar and proceed to military press him high above my head as I continue to sing my song.

Ooooh I'm a sinner, but I have his guiding hand. Jesus won't you walk with me, and make me a better man.

As the last line of that song leaves my mouth, so does this boy leave my hands as I throw him into his shaved ice stand and watch as his limp body crashes through it like a wrecking ball. I stand there panting and staring at the wreckage that lay in front of me. That’s when I realize that I’ve messed up. I’ve done gone and attacked another food service employee because of my own issues with self esteem. As I begin to snap out of it, I look around and realize that it’s all eyes on me. Seems I’ve done made a right fool outta myself. I suppose I can’t blame Micheal for this one, but perhaps I should try and smooth things over with this crowd that's forming around me.

”Um… Ladies and Gentlemen, there’s no need to panic. My name is Darr… Billy Ray Cyrus! This was all just a skit that we’re filming for the CMT country music awards.

A random (not him) voice cries out from the crowd.

”If that’s true, where are the cameras!?”

Oh no darn it! I may not have thought that one through. Wait a minute! I’ll be damned if I don’t see Cadryn walking away, but it seems that the camera crew that’s with him IS in fact filming me! I quickly point in the direction of the XWF camera boys!

”Let me direct your attention right over there!

Everyone turns to look, and upon seeing the cameras a few of them begin to applaud. Damn fine thinking Darren! Last think I need is to end up in jail again. I smile, shake hands, pose for pictures and even sign a few fraudulent Billy Ray autographs as I make my way over to the XWF camera team. You see, this is an opportunity for me to cut another scathing promo about my opponents tomorrow night. I walk up to the camera, my nostrils flaring, and look of pure hate and anger in my eyes. I know that you know, when you see a good Christian boy like myself looking this fired up, something good is about to happen. You’re not wrong either, because I’m about to tear Shade and Edwards a new asshole now.

”Shade and Edwards, if I’m willing to do that to a member of the food service industry, imagine what I’ll do to you!

Yep, harsh words. I know that definitely got the point across. Darren Zirado isn’t coming to Savage to be made a fool of.