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Hero Xtreme 7.9 · **02-08-2017, 08:55 PM**

The scene opens to an old skool fan watching Rookiepool's latest promo where he goes to a comic book store which look suspiciously like a convention and meets a new skool fan. The new skool fan is a fat

virgin and the old skool fan is a productive member of society who gets laid all the time.

Anyway the old skool fan starts twitching because this is the gayest thing he's ever seen. He starts looking for a rope so he can hang himself. Usually it takes the people Game Girl harasses on the Internet a few days to be driven to attempting suicide, but it only takes a minute or so of Rookiepool's promo to do it to this guy. However, the old skool fans feels an invisible hand on his shoulder.

NOCMM: Don't do it.

He starts to breathe normally.

NOCMM: You can't let a rookie's

and shitty promo affect your life. It was cringey. It was insulting, and it was trash. However there will always be something brighter to look forward to, Bill.

Bill: How do you know?

NOCMM: You're stronger than this. You're better than that. An old skool fan has never killed their self before because they're stronger than anyone. They know when to quit on something. If that promo is so terrible...just turn it off.

Bill turns off Rookiepool's promo right before the lame chase scene.

Bill: That's what I needed to hear.

NOCMM: I know it's hard. You hear someone like my client is returning and then you start to think that maybe wrestling is watchable again, so you watch his opponent's promos and reality slaps you across the face and threatens to rape you. At it's heart this company is still trash, and until my client can return full time it'll stay that way. Don't give up. 2028 is just around the corner.

Bill: Thank you...and thanks for killing monkeys. What Trax did to the veterans is fucked up.

NOCMM: Don't mention it.

NOCMM goes next door and burns down the house of the old skool fan's monkey neighbors as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode One less old skool fan?
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