"Lessons Learned"






-THURSDAY, JAN 2, 2017, BEAVERCREEK, OREGON-

--near 17501 South Killdeer Road, 9:55 PM PST--


It's frightening how easy it is to locate a man or woman online, I've discovered. With nothing more than a first and last name combined with any idea of age, past residences, knowledge of known relatives, $1.99 and a burner cell anyone not fully and intentionally removed from the grid can be found.

And so it came to be I zeroed in on my murderous target Henry Spade deep in Beavercreek, Oregon as the late Latino Anthony had truthfully given up to me in North Long Beach last week leading up to this past Savage.

It'd taken me a single snatching of a p.o.s. car, disposal of it's single wouldn't-be-missed occupant and a scant forty-five minute drive to get here. It was ludicrous, I'd thought, that Henry's mailing address had ended up in rural Oregon not all that far from XWF's Saturday Night venue in Portland tucked silently away, encircled and isolated from the nearest neighbors in a thick forest.

'I think the universe is telling you something here, kid.'

Indeed. It's telling me I'm righteous in my wont for revenge and is delivering "Buddha" to me on a silver snorting mirror.

'I'd recommend waiting awhile to move until you've had time to observe any movement inside.'

I _know_ how to do my thing.

I think it's funny the last time I faced Nixon I found myself in a forest like this awaiting pounce time across the country in Newfield, New York.

'Everything means something. It's all tied together in the intricate web of life. Oh, and it's cyclical. Or is that time?'

Philosopher and scientist extraordinaire you are not. But still, some of what you say rings true. And pondering on my opponent reminds me...I've a second shelling to bombard his bunker with before I tackle Buddha. Vengeance is my constant companion but the XWF signs my checks. There's little I can do abroad if I sabotage my own newfound flow of finance and I'll be damned if I let that happen.

'And Nixon?'

As far as my in-another-life-we-could-be-friends foe is concerned, I'll be goddamned if I allow him to make a statement to McBride or Jefferson Jackson by cutting "Former TV Champ" into my forehead. This isn't about him and his I-seem-to-be-snapping-so-watch-out story. This is MY show, MY life, MY world. Nixon is just a recurring cameo in my epic. My pride has already taken a slight blow in my loss to Main last night and I'll do whatever it takes to prevent a successive loss Saturday night to Thomas.

'Tell him so. And turn down the screen brightness; t's already dark as fuck and you don't want to alert Henry or his family that someone is out here in the trees watching.'

I ready my phone.

...........................

"For anyone in this life to ever improve his or her situation it becomes a priority to proceed. To advance. To move forward. For those who lack the courage to do so, for those who fear change, all one can hope for is stagnation. Which do you choose to become, Thomas? The young man moving on to bigger and better things or the broken old man taking orders in a cubicle with the best years of his life having passed him by? Which is more enticing? Future? Or Fear?"

'Referencing your closing promo title and premise on him the last time, I like it.'

"Here we find ourselves again in somewhat similar circumstances as the first, though this time around the situation is more than subtly different...

It's _me_ holding the gold now, true, but where _I_ once represented the new man seeking and starving for my first XWF strap and revenge, _you_ now represent the former champion returning for reclamation and as well, your _own_ revenge, even if it's pointed at Michael McBride and not me. That fact stands despite you trying to redefine it as 'motivation', as a message begging to be made after already claiming in the same lecture that what you want most in this world is to make McBride pay."

'An unfortunate in-business distraction.'

"You've stated you're no brick in the wall-"

'Yeah, _easy_ there Roger Waters.'

"-but Nixon, _I'm_ no brick wall on which to tag your message, no chalkboard on which to scribble your statement. I'm Jim Caedus. I'm the wrecking ball that demolishes the wall. The nails on the chalkboard sending the class scurrying away, a shiver up their spines, with their hands cupped over their ears. As you've said before of yourself, I'm no stepping stone for your ends. I'm a camouflaged croc waiting for your foot to drop so I can drag you under for a death-roll."

'Someone call Mick Dundee.'

"But McBride and your statements to make in context aside, I'll tell you again that the roles here haven't truly been reversed. _Mine_ has but yours...yours has simply been flipped on it's head. You're no longer in one of two honorable positions of defending champion or fresh challenger. You haven't given up, as I refuse to as well following my recent loss, and for that I commend you...but you _are_ allowing your recent exploits and experiences to change you for the lesser. You've lost that edge of the cool and collected confident competitor. You've fallen into the position of the man who can't move on, stuck with something to prove wrong of the past and along the way you decided to ditch the dynamics of what made you unique, taking up the moldy cliché mantle of the scorned soldier. You're now just a jaded man and you've lost the will to make any forward momentum while you refuse to do anything other than spin-out in circles doin' donuts on my front lawn. You've become static.

It's not I Thomas but _you_ who's truly being ground down by the teeth of trial and tribulation. It's _you_ whom I see to be weakening. I just hope you recognize it before it's too late and you're consumed by the miasma of mediocrity."

'Miasma. I like that word.'

"I don't enjoy seeing you like this Thomas. I don't like witnessing the warfare through which you've waded wad you up like paper and toss you in the circular file for has-beens. I'm not fond of how your injuries and stumbling saw you construct a chrysalis of what should've been career improvement only to watch a flightless and miserable maggot crawl free of the cocoon. Most of all Thomas...I'm not happy to use the word 'maggot' to describe you but in your refusal to evolve, grow wings and take to the sky that's exactly what you are. A worm. And if you think your 'new' attitude, expected heightening of harshness and inexorable inclusion of a mean streak will allow you to easily snatch back MY XWF Television Title then you haven't been paying close enough attention to how I work."

'Fill him in.'

"As I stated in my first promo I'm perpetual motion. Perpetual with the proven precedent that no matter what outside stimuli attempts to stop my swing I ignore the laws of physics and I continue, rebounding with even greater kinetic force behind me and at this point that should be seen as fact. What everyone including you has failed to identify however is the way in which my motion has me constantly changing to suit my opponents.

Do you recall that mantra of mine I stated weeks back? I absorb. I adapt. I overcome. It isn't a foolproof strategy at all but what strategy is? That being said, it's what has thus far led me to where I am now as a warrior in the XWF and the reigning Television Champion. From facing Benito to facing you did you not notice the immediate raising of my personal bar? Did you not notice how I absorbed that which spells out Nixon, adapting to your level of insight and intelligence and overcoming you in the middle of the ring? Did it slip by you and all how I absorbed and adapted to Cadryn Tiberius and, if I'd only just put more effort into it, how I could've overcome in the sense of an actual 'W' but _still_ overcame with my title successfully retained? Did I not continue to swing despite a draw?"

'Yeah you tried to out-gay the guy and failed but you _did_ leave that ring the champ.'

"When I took on Nico LaVey was it not painfully apparent how I absorbed and adapted to him as needed to fight on equal shady footing? How I fought fire with fire and overcame? And Robert Main...did I not absorb and adapt to that dick, trading blows of ancient adages and insults, devolving from the level of high to lowbrow?"

'Yeah but you lost, idiot!'

"Yes, I came up short and therein is displayed the not-so-flawless-nature of the strategy. With credit to the man himself it resulted in his victory and my failure but I'm neither afraid to admit it nor am I afraid to continue fucking swinging. I count myself lucky that Mr. Lane did NOT put my title on the line and I'm lucky I'm the type of person capable of learning from the mistakes I made. Mistakes I intend to NEVER repeat. I adapt. Which segues into the situation currently...Nix, have you recognized how I'm again absorbing, thankfully adapting back to _your_ level, a level at which I feel I excel, and raising my bar once more to attempt to overcome the threat you represent?"

'STICK with this level from now on, champ.'

I'm getting to that.

"And now...through process of elimination, having used my strategy to discover what works and what doesn't work in the wilds of the XWF...can you not hear the clockwork within me ticking towards adaptation in favor of KEEPING myself at this minimum octave?

Go right ahead and point out how I SHOULD'VE thought of this in the first place. Feel free to live up to YOUR newfound arrogance in the face of my humbling and state I shouldn't even be wasting precious time with such testing of the waters. How I shouldn't be playing up or down to anyone but instead maintaining who I am at this point in my career. To you and everyone else I'm sure that would seem to be the blushing face-palming obvious conclusion."

'I'd say so...'

"I disagree. That isn't how I enter new battleground. I find it wiser to capitalize on my refusal to quit and analyze through trial and error. It wouldn't do to figure shit like that out while I'm, say, fighting for my life and glory in Lethal Lottery IV or defending the TV Title this Saturday against a man not to be underestimated like you, Nixon. No, it wouldn't do to be ignorant of my own faults and weaknesses with you in that ring. Not with you and not with my reign on the chopping block. I now know for a fact what I _needed_ to and for you...that doesn't bode well. You've a fire lit under your ass? So have I.

We're two heavenly bodies, meteors on a collision course. Our impact will incinerate the arena. Whom will survive? We'll see. Fuck extinction. I'm Jim Caedus."