Coming at you from a cruise ship near ANTARCTICA... THIS IS WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!!
Kid Cool & Snow
- vs -
Robert Main & Billy Gore
Benito Angelo
- vs -
Reeve Steel Cage Match
Jim Caedus
- vs -
Isabella Ravenwolf Into The Icy Depths! Winner Forces His Opponent Off The Ship And Into The Arctic Sea!
Thaddeus Duke
- vs -
"The Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves X-TREME RULES
Trax
- vs -
St. Diabolicus "I Quit" Match to Settle the Score
Hart Title Match Robbie Bourbon
- vs - Brandon Moore For the vacant Hart Championship
MAIN EVENT Chris Chaos
- vs -
"The Radical" Gabe Reno
- vs - Thomas Nixon Non-Title
Warfare opens up with a sweeping shot from a helicopter cam, capturing the large cruise ship floating amongst some icebergs just of the coast of Antarctica!
A huge crowd of people bundled up in winter clothes are huddled around a ring on the forward deck of the ship, wherein already stand Kid Kool and Snow.
Nearby is an announce booth where Dewey Gobbecoque sits, vapor puffing out of his mouth as he welcomes the TV audience.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Welcome to a freezinf fucking cold episode of Wednesday Warfare! Why the hell Vincent Lane chooses to do shit like this we may never know, but I know it's coming up in my contract negotiations next month!
In the ring, Tig O'Bitties enters and drops off her heavy coat, her large nips quickly jumping to attention underneath her tight dress.
Tig O'Bitties: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a TAG TEAM match! Introducing first... two members of the Reevolution... Kid Kool! AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!
Tig O'Bitties: And their opponents... introducing first... from Crawley, England... BILLYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!
The lights dim as the percussion from Aaron Copeland's Fanfare for the Common Man begin to sound. The lights flash on and off with the beat until the first section of trumpets begin to play. During that time the X-Tron lights up with Billy's video. After the percussion comes in again, Billy finally appears and walks out onto the stage wearing a robe, not unlike what Ric Flair used to wear except with no feathers. A wall of sparks drops behind him as he lifts and then stretches his arms outwards. He takes a second to look around the arena, and smiles as the crowd basks in his greatness. The sparks end as he begins to walk down the ramp. Two men wearing tuxedos with tails, appear at either end of the stage and follow, at a distance, down either side of the ramp. Billy allows some of the fans to kiss his family crest ring, and switches sides frequently to spread the wealth. As he arrives at the ring, he walks to the corner, up the steel steps, along the mat to the center and enters the ring between the middle and top ropes. He quickly makes his way to the very center of the ring as fireworks shoot from the corners. As the lights return to normal and the music ends, Billy removes his rings and hands them to one of his servants who is waiting on the floor outside the ring, and then removes his robe, which he hands to the other servant. Both servants retreat to seats near the barricades and sit. Billy starts pulling on the ropes and stretching his muscles as he awaits his opponent.
Tig O'Bitties: And his partner... weighing 220 pounds, from Las Vegas Nevada... ROBERT... THE OMEGAAAAA.... MAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!
Main saunters down to the ring, ignoring the crowd that gives his official debut a lukewarm reaction.
DING!
Tig leaves the ring and Snow hops up and down in hiercorner as Kid Kool exits. On the other side, Robert Main starts to head to the middle of the ring, but Billy Gore puts a hand on his chest and gestures that he wants to start instead.
Main shrugs and smirks, then shakes his head as he exits the ring and stands on the corner, seemingly barely paying any attention.
Gore meets Snow in the middle of the ring, and Snow right away tries to throw a wild kick into Gore's crotch... but Gore hops back and avoids the contact, taking advantage of an off balance opponent and scooping her into an overhead bellly to belly suplex.
Snow bounces off the mat, and before she can even regain her footing, Gore is on her with a series of technical maneuvers. He suplexes her, he takes her down, he thoroughly embarrasses her in every way possible within the confines of a wrestling contest.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Gore putting on a CLINIC at Snow's expense! She can barely move without the tactician immediately dropping her again!
Billy Gore transitions an abdominal stretch into a fireman's takeover, then shoots a half into a three quarter nelson, pinning Snow's shoulders!
1!
2!
Kid Kool rushes into the ring and breaks up the pinning combination... and Robert Main runs in to meet him, bloodying his nose and sending him crashing to the ship's deck below.
Main exits the ring again just as Snow starts to get to her knees.... catching a shining wizard from Gore!
Billy Gore raises his hands and signals for his signature sharpshooter finishing hold... but as he backs into his corner, Robert Main's hand slaps down hard across his back!
Dewey Gobblecoque: Main just tagged himself in! Gore doesn't seem exactly thrilled, it looked like he was about to put this one away early!
Main hops in the ring as the referee forces Gore out, against his protests.
Snow staggers to her feet, but Main right away scoops her up onto his shoulders, holding her there on her side.
MOON LIGHT DRIVE!!!!!
Snow's neck bends awkwardly as the burning hammer/DVD hybrid drops her headfirst onto the mat. Main with a cover!
1!
2!
3!!!!!!!!!
Dewey Gobblecoque: That's it! It's over just that quick!
Winners by pinfall - Robert Main and Billy Gore
Warfare heads to commercial break.
Tig O'Bitties-The following match is an I Quite match!. Introducing first, Standing at Six Six and weighting in at 252 pounds, from Hell. St. Diabolicus!"
St. Diabolicus was already standing in the ring waiting for his so called rival. That's when the theme of Trax hit over the arena.
Tig O'Bitties-"Introducing his opponent. From Brooklyn New York, Standing at Six Four and weighting in at 270 pounds. "Mr FN Dominance" Trax!"
Walks down to the ring in his wrestling attire and a black trench coat that reads "Mr FN' Dominance" and shades, he looks around at the crowd pointing and beating his chest smiling. Before he walks to the ring like a man with a mission and climbs the ring steps before climbing onto the turnbuckle. He raises his right arm into the air in a clench fist before jump off the turnbuckle into the ring. He takes off his shades and coat places them both into the corner before walking to the middle of the ring shadow boxing as he does, he then stands in the middle of the ring and raises his arm once more in a clenched fist, before backing up into the ring corner and shadow boxing some more and bouncing up and down on the spot waiting for the match to start.
DING DING
Trax didn't waste any time what so ever and attacked Diabolicus with a strikes to the face like a champion boxer. He could have gave Muhammad Ali a run for his money by the looks of it. Trax nearly took off Diabolicus's head off his shoulders when he finished up with a Haymaker, The impact of the punch sent the devil into the air and over the ropes. He crashed on the ground below.
Gaylord Cockshafer-"Holy shit! Did you see that punch Stump?!?!"
Mike Stump-"If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it."
Trax stepped through the ropes and down the apron. Diabolicus was getting up to his knees. Trax walked over to the time keeper and took his chair. Just as Diabolicus was getting up to his feet, Trax smashed the fuck out of Diabolicus's skull over and over and over again. The crowd was counting but lost track at how many times Trax bashed the poor fucker's head in. The ref asked Trax to see if Diabolicus wanted to quite but Trax said fuck no, he was having too much fun. He had a lot of anger to get rid of and he was going to take it out on the hot topic reject. Trax took Diabolicus by the back of his neck and brought him up to his feet somehow. That's when Diabolicus tried to strike back. The man still had some fight left in him but Trax dodged it with ease and kicked him in the gut before forcing his opponent back into the ring. Trax followed, but the two weren't in the ring for long because Trax tossed Diablo out of the ring once more but this time on the side of the ring where the ramp started. Diablo got up to his feet rather quickly, which was a shock to Trax but it only caused him to smirk wicked at Diablo. The two started to trade blows left and right as they battled up the ramp and soon the two found themselves backstage. Trax got the upper hand with a nasty headbutt to the face of Diablo which busted it open wide. Blood just started to pour out.
Gaylord Cockshafer-"I don't think Trax cares about the match Stump. He's just having fun."
Mike Stump-"Sick, just sick but awesome at the same time. I'm enjoying it."
The two fought through out the back, stage hands and workers all trying to get out of the way, some getting caught in the cross fire. Somehow the two ended up in the man's bathroom. Trax Spartan kicked Diablo right through the door. This man D.Shadows jump up from the counter. He was just chilling and taking fat rips from his bong. He blinked a few times and noticed a match was going on.
D.Shadows-"Oh duuuuude. That clown looking dude is like fucked up. What he do? Try to steal your girl or something?"
The stoner asked Trax, who walked over to him.
Trax-"Oh nah, I'm just having fun. Showing the dipshits around here, Like Chris Chaos that they don't call me Mr Fucking Dominance for now reason."
D.Shadows-"Oh cool cool. Hey, want a rip?"
Trax-"You know what. Fuck yes I do. Thank you."
D.Shadows handed Trax his bong so he could take a hit, and not only did Trax milk all the weed but cleared the fucking bong off all the smoke in one hit. D.Shadows cheered him on, but Diablo was up and rushed the Trax, who answered the attack with smack to the fact with Shadows's bong, glass flew everywhere and Shadows fell to his knees yelling no to the Heavens.
D.Shadows-"Noooooooooo, James Bong. Not James Bong!"
Trax-"Bro, I am so sorry. It was just a reaction. Don't worry. I'll get you a new one but I have to finish this bitch off. Sorry again dude."
D.Shadows-"It's okay man. All pieces have their time to go. Just fuck up that asshole for me."
Trax nodded and went back to beating the living fuck out of Diablo. He grabbed Diablo and shoved his face into the urinal before smashing his face into it a few times. Trax was panting from all the beatings he was giving Diablo. The ref came up to Trax and begged him to ask him if he quite. Trax shrugged and grabbed the mic.
Trax-"I'm done anyways. I feel great. I needed that."
The referee sticks the mic into the shattered urinal as Trax walks back across the ship towards the ring.
"UUUgughgguguggghhrrrgghgh...."
Dewey: That sounded like I Quit to me!
Winner - "Mister F'n Dominance" Trax
Trax is in the ring celebrating his victory when he sees St Diabolicus moan and stir on the canvas, Trax walks up to him and picks him by his hair with one hand, he then says something inaudible to him before pushing him to the ropes, Diabolicus stumbles backwards into them and bounces off them straight into a TRAP SILENCER! St Diabolicus goes up and over the top rope and lands head first on the floor below! Trax isn't done! He rolls out the ring and picks St Diabolicus up again and sets him up for the O.T.M.! Trax hoists him up...Ode To Machine onto the ring apron! The fans in attendance gasp as it looks like Trax has literally just broke St Diabolicus in half! Trax spits on him and walks around the ring grabbing the microphone off the ring announcer and rolling back into the ring pacing back and forth.
Trax: I'm done playing, I'm done going easy on people, see that right there?
Trax stops pacing and points to the broken St Diabolicus outside the ring.
Trax: This is what awaits anybody and everybody who steps into the ring with me now, if that's what it takes, then so be it. You've all been warned.
Trax drops the mic and rolls out the ring, he looks at St Diabolicus and shakes his head before walking up the ramp as medical staff come down it to attend to St Diabolicus.
We return from our commercial break to see Benito Angelo and Reeve Gordon already in the steel cage surrounded ring.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen for our next match of this edition of Wednesday Night Warfare! And this one, I think, should prove to be mighty entertaining. A steel cage match pitting the dapper don of the World's Friendliest Mafia against the outspoken leader of The Reevolution, Stone Cold Reeve Austin! Timekeeper Nipsey Russel starts the match! Let's get X-TREME folks!!
Benito and Reeve slowly circle, flexing their joints, stretching their limbs and staring daggers at one another in the process.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Look at the intimidation here folks, both men are looking to prove a point and I don't blame them! Benito has been building downward momentum as of late and he sorely needs this win. As well, The Reevolution has proven to be less than catastrophic in context with changing the landscape of the XWF and REEVE sorely needs HIS win!
Benito and Reeve cease their circling and step toe to toe, glaring at one another at point blank.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: I am SHIVERING with anticipation for this one folks! You ever get so excited you suddenly need to poop? That's aaaaaall me ladies and germs! That's DEWEY'S home address!
The two competitors continue their staring contest.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Can you FEEL it folks!? It's building, boy, I'll tell ya! This is going to be one for the history books and that's a Gobblecoque Guarantee!!
Benito and Reeve separate and begin pacing around. The fans go silent.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: ANY minute now, mark my words.
Benito climbs his corner turnbuckle and raises his arms for a POP. Not one to be outdone, Reeve climbs his as well, issuing a double Stone Cold Salute to his own POP.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Hahaha! Some peacocking going on in the cage and you know what that means...the feces is about to hit the fan!!
Both men hop back down to the ring mat...both men hit their respective ring ropes running and charge one another-
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Here it COMES!!
-and both men stop just short of one another to again stare into eachother's eyes. The fans begin to BOO.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: What the hell guys? Come on, let's get this going!
KABOOM!!!
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: What in God's name was THAT!?
KABOOM!!!
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Oh, what have we here? The fans' attention has been detoured to the tippy top of the cruise ship where we see none other than...KILLJOY ladies and gentlemen! XWF's resident prankster is making an appearance here. What is that he's doing up there?
Killjoy, standing next to a stack of explosives, is lighting sticks of TNT and tossing them into the Arctic Sea.
KILLJOY: (singing to the tune of "London Bridge Is Falling Down") Fishing's fun with dynamite-
KABOOM!!!
KILLJOY: -dynamite-
KABOOM!!!
KILLJOY: -dynamite! Fishing's fun with dynamite-
Killjoy raises the latest lit stick to his lips with both hands as if it's a mic and he's a crooner.
KILLJOY: -and I'm out of my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!!
He notices the fuse burning awfully close to detonation.
KILLJOY: Oh shit.
Killjoy haphazardly tosses the T.N.T....right into the middle of the ring.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Uh-oh...
Reeve and Benito look to the T.N.T., look to eachother...then gun it for their only escape: climbing the cage.
KABOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Stone Cold Reeve Austin and Benito Angelo rocket into the sky, up, up and away. The fans erupt with an ovation.
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUES: Holy contrails Batman! We have lift-off! That was a Gobblecoque Guarantee in action folks!
KILLJOY: SORRY 'BOUT THAT!!
DING DING!!!
DEWEY GOBBLECOQUE: Well, I'd say that's a no contest.
WINNERS - And NEW XWF Satisfaction Champions...The XWF Fanbase!
SPLAT!
SPLAT!
Everyone laughs as Benito and Reeve both finally land back on the ringside floor. The other members of the Reevolution come out to scoop up what's left of their Dear Leader, when...
...they are blindsided! Ronnie Cage, David Stone, and Brandon have decided to enact some revenge for the attack on them on Savage Saturday Night. David Stone goes after Kid Kool, Ronnie Cage starts to batter Snow, and Brandon Moore gets his hands on Reeve. Blow after blow has The Reevolution attempting to retreat. It’s no use, though. In stereo, each member of Havoc grabs a hold of a member of The Reevolution and launches them into the steel cage.
Moore and Stone are now dragging Reeve towards the entrance to the steel structure. Ronnie Cage is bullying the official, getting the key to the door from him. Ronnie gets the door to the cage open allowing Brandon and David to toss Reeve back into the hellacious environment he just competed in. Havoc enters the cage now and Ronnie locks the door behind them. Reeve gets to his feet and attempts to fight back. That shit is shut down real quick. The three on one assault sees kicking and stomping, punching and slapping, and the occasional loogie being hocked onto Reeve.
Each member of Havoc gets in his face to talk some trash before they lift him over their heads and slam him face first into the cage wall like a dart. By now, Snow and Kid Kool have come to their senses. They are trying to yank the door of its hinges to get into the cage. When they realize they will do them no good, both start to climb opposite sides, attempting to save the leader of The Reevolution. Ronnie and David notice this and stand guard as Brandon Moore mounts Reeve and begins to pummel his face in, bloodying him much like what happened on Saturday to Havoc.
Kid Kool and Snow have both climbed over and have planted their feet on the mats at this point. BAM! They are both immediately met with superkick variations from David Stone and Ronnie Cage. Brandon continues to pummel Reeve as blood begins to paint his knuckles. Now, David Stone has Kid Kool locked in the Stone Crusher. He only lets go when the pain has become too much that is caused Kid Kool to pass out. Ronnie Cage has Snow up, looking right, and then looking left. He plants her with the Alabama-Rama!
Brandon approves of the work he and the rest of Havoc have done so far, finally getting off of Reeve and lifting him to his feet. A mask of crimson covers Reeve’s face as Brandon hooks a full nelson. Ronnie Cage and David Stone both point single fingered gun gestures at Reeve. The two throw their versions of the superkick and with the momentum, Brandon follows through for a Dragon Suplex! Bullet in the Head! This was no ordinary Bullet in the Head, though. Brandon held Reeve exceptionally close to the steel cage. The Dragon Suplex part of the move sent Reeve over, the back of his head slamming against the cage.
Ronnie and David now head over to unlock the cage door and make their exit. Meanwhile, Brandon Moore has dipped his hands on Reeve’s face, covering them in blood. One by one, he smears the blood of Reeve across the faces of Snow and Kid Kool, like a child finger painting. The door is unlocked now as Ronnie and David notices Brandon’s antics, shouting at him to get a move on. With a sadistic smile on his face, Brandon complies and exits the steel cage with Ronnie and David. Havoc has certainly lived up to their name tonight as they leave The Reevolution scattered and broken in retaliation for what happened on Savage Saturday Night.
Chris is seen taping his wrists for the big match he has coming up. Jenny is pacing the locker room in her short red mini skirt and heels.
"You know, Chris, you can't slip up out there. You can't make a mistake. These two guys are losers, and if you lose, you will be a loser. I don't manage losers."
Chris stopped taping his wrists and looked up.
"Is that all we are, a manager and client?"
"I don't date losers either."
Chris reaches down off screen and grabs the Uni Title. "As long as I have this, I am the furthest thing from a loser. I told you, Jenny, like I told them. I am the top dog here until someone takes this from me."
"You can't have an L to Gabe and Nixon on your record......"
He stands up.
"Is this more about me or you and your image? Im pretty sure you signed up for this company to train to be a wrestler and all you have done is accompained me to the ring......where is all YOUR training?"
Jenny was speechless.
"How about this. Whatever happens out there, I wont let it affect YOUR image. You stay back here. I don't need you out there tonight anyway".
He gets up and walks off screen, the Uni Title on his shoulder as she says "Chris....wait!" And follows him off screen.
Tig O'Bitties: The following contest is for ONE FALL!
Tig O'Bitties: Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... he weighs in at 225 pounds... the DARK WARRIOR... Michealllllllllllllll GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVES!
The lights dim as the entrance stage begins to fill with smoke. The opening cords of "Mayhem" blast over the PA system as a large wall of fire engulfs the stage. As the fire fades away, Micheal Graves begins to rise up from a hidden lift at the top of the stage like a demon rising from the depths of Hell. The metal riffs of Halestorm continue to pound on as Micheal stands there for a moment, surveying the crowd. Micheal slowly walks down the ramp as small burst of fire erupt at the sides of the stage. The lights slowly raise back up as Micheal rolls into the ring and takes a seated position leaning against the turnbuckle facing the stage.
Dewey: This one is not going to be for the weak at heart.
March or Die begins and the arena darkens. White spot lights ignite on the entrance stage engulfing Captain James Edwards in white hot light. Edwards leads his charge, Thaddeus Duke to the ring. Thaddeus slaps some hands of fans as he walks the aisle and also stops to take selfies with them and his shit eating grin before reaching the ring.
Tig O'Bitties: And his opponent... currently residing in Vatican City... at a weight of 210 pounds, he is... THADDEUSSSSSS DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!
The bell rings and Duke and Graves are set to do battle. As Graves advances, Duke rolls out of the ring to some boos. He says something to the crowd and walks around for a second. Finally, Graves get impatient and rolls out of the ring. That is exactly what Duke wanted, as Graves gives chase before Duke rolls back into the ring. As Graves rolls back in, Duke goes on the offensive with a flurry of well placed kicks.
Dewey: Duke just bated Graves in there......textbook. That's wrestling 101.
Duke picks up Graves by the hair and whips him into the turnbuckle. Graves ducks the clothesline but is hit with a leaping shoulder block on the second pass. Duke gives a cocky look to the crowd before rolling back outside and looking under the ring for something.
Graves, as Duke doesn't see, goes to the top rope. He signals to the crowd and goes for the flying cross body but Duke uses his quick instincts and hits Graves in the head, in mid air, with a trash can lid. The thud is sickening. Duke grabs a steel chair out from under the ring and takes the top of it, driving it down onto the upper body and shoulder of Graves. After 3 or 4 shots, Duke throws his arms up in the air and before rolling Graves and the chair into the ring. He goes for the pin.
Dewey: Duke trying to end this one quickly.
1
2
Graves gets a shoulder up, despite it being injured. Duke stomps on the hurt shoulder 3 or 4 times before putting graves arm through the chair opening. Duke goes to the top rope.
Dewey: My god! Duke is going to try to end his career here! This could take his arm off! Don't do it Thaddeus!
Thaddeus jumps and Graves moves and Duke lands on his feet. Graves drop toe holds Duke who falls and in the blink of an eye takes the chair off, and looks it onto Duke's ankle. He bounces off ropes and leg drops the chair. Duke yells out and rolls around holding his leg! Graves takes the chair and throws it out of the ring. He stays on the offensive. Duke is trying to stand up, pulling himself up with the ropes, and Graves bounces off the ropes with a flying clothesline, knocking him to the outside. Graves follows, and grabs Duke, throwing him into the barricade on the outside. Then, with a yell, charges, but Duke, on one leg, lifts him and drops him mid section first over the barricade, buying himself some time. Duke stumbles back, holding himself up with the ring post, before diving and knocking Graves over the barricade and into the crowd. Duke gimps back over to the underneath part of the ring, and grabs a table, a sack of something, and a baseball bat. He begins setting up the table. Graves is back over the railing now, and comes for Duke, who throws the sack into the ring and then swings the bat. Graves ducks, and runs Duke into the ring apron, causing him to drop the bat. Graves picks it up but Duke fires back a punch to the face, and Graves kicks him in the ankle, hobbling him again. Graves rolls Duke into the ring by his head. Once he gets to his feet he gets the Boy King up and hits a fall away slam. Curiosity comes over Graves, and he opens the sack. Out pours thumb tacks.
Dewey: Oh my god. No. Someone is getting stuck here! The tacks are everywhere!
Duke is starting to get back up and Graves runs over, picking him up and setting him up for another fall away slam onto the tacks! He gets him up but Duke wiggles out, counters, locks the hands. GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE TACKS! GRAVES HAS TACKS ALL OVER HIS BACK!
Dewey: My god! These two are going to kill each other!
Duke gets back to his feet and grabs Graves, firing off two more Germans, ending in a bridge pin!
1!
2!
Graves rolls out in a counter and rolls up Duke, grabbing the ropes for leverage!
1!
2!
Duke kicks out!
Graves rolls off, writhing from the tacks in his back. Duke is up and Graves is too. The two exchange punches. Graves, being the bigger man, gets the upper hand and throws Duke over the top rope and back to the outside. Graves rolls out of the ring and grabs the trash can that the lid he was hit with originally came from and when Duke got up he put it over Duke's head and body. Lifting him up he sets him on the table. Graves eyes go wide. He signals to the top rope as the crowd cheers. Climbing to the top he does a cross symbol and then dives with an elbow drop off the top, crashing into the garbage can containing Thaddeus Duke and splitting the table in half!
Dewey: My god! Thaddeus has to be dead! Get medics out here!
Graves is also down, holding his elbow. Duke is motionless. EMT's rush to ringside. But as they are checking on Duke, Graves shoves them out of the way and rolls him into the ring.
Graves for the pin!
1!
2!
3-----NO! Duke got a shoulder up! Graves can't believe it! Duke kicked the fuck out!
Graves is frustrated now and wants to end it. He grabs Duke, whipping the limp gimpy king into the corner. Getting on top he fires ten shots down as the crowd counts, then sets him up for the Final Embrace! Duke comes to as if suddenly and wrestles with Graves before knocking him off the top and onto the ropes, splitting his legs and dropping him balls first on the ropes. Duke rolls out of the ring and grabs the chair, blasting Graves in the head with it as he sat straddling the ropes. The thud is deafening. Graves goes limp and falls off the ropes and into the ring as Duke slithers down with his back to the ring apron, trying to rest and get his bearings. Graves is now busted open and Duke is barely conscious from the table move. Both men are down for over 1 minute.
James Edwards tends to his boss, with the referee shouting at him to get away.
Dewey: I think he handed something to Thaddeus! It looks like Thad has something slipped over his knuckles now! Is the referee blind or what???
In the ring, Graves seems to have gotten a bit of his wits back about him. He crawls over the ropes and leans out, grabbing a handful of Duke's blonde hair and yanking him up onto his feet, pulling his neck backwards across the rope.
James Edwards gets in his face and even tries to pull Graves' hands off of Duke, but Graves decks him! Edwards collapses like a pile of garbage onto the ship's floor!
Graves gets a sadistic grin across his face and grabs Duke's hair and face again with both hands, puling him up over the bottom rope... and Duke blasts him with that loaded fist!
Dewey: I knew it! That grimy looking son of a bitch has a weapon! I knew you couldn't trust him! Look at that god damn face! Fuck him and his stupid face!
Micheal Graves is sent backwards and lands in a heap, seeing stars. Thad Duke tosses the object from his hand overboard and it disappears into the ocean depths. Duke then climbs back into the ring and spends a few moments catching his breath some more while Graves struggles to his feet.
Graves turns in a full circle before he finally sees Duke grinning from the corner.
FIRST STRIKE!!!!!!
The superkick drops Graves flat on his back and Duke leaps onto him to cover!
1!
2!
GRAVES KICKS OUT!!!!
Duke can't believe it, he has a look on his face like he's seen a ghost!
Duke doesn't waste any time arguing with the official, though, instead he stands over a barely coherent Graves and pulls him into a standing, bent over position...
THE LEGACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duke's jumping pedigree plants Graves right onto his face! He's left lying there, twitching and bleeding from his nose... but Duke doesn't pin him! Duke right away rushes to a near corner and scales to the top, sizing up the unmoving opponent...
FINAL STRIKE ELBOW DROP!!!!!!
Right to the back of Graves' head! The man could have brain damage! Thaddeus Duke rolls Graves over onto his back and leans across Graves' chest for a lackadaisical cover!
1!
2!
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dewey: That's horseshit! Duke should have been disqualified! James Edwards should be banned from ringside! I hope the X-Treme Champion is paying attention and sees what kind of devious cheater he'll be up against soon!
Winner by pinfall - Thaddeus Duke
Dewey: Fuck this. I need to take a break. I'm going belowdecks to thaw out my nuts. Gaylord and Stump can call the next match while I trim the icicles off my taint. This whole show is bullshit.
Warfare takes a commercial as Dewey leaves the booth and a very unhappy tandem of Stump and Cockshafer make their way out to replace him.
Mike Stump: Man, I've freezing, Gaylord!
Gaylord Cockshafer: This match should make you feel a bit warmer there, Stump. At least, compared to whoever ends up in the water at the end of this match!
Mike Stump: Yeah, I definitely don't envy THAT person!!
Gaylord Cockshafer: I'm hearing now that these two have already gotten ahold of each other somewhere on the ship! Let's get to the action!
Jim Caedus and Isabella Ravenwolf are already at each other's throats in one of the many cafe areas on the top deck. Fans and servants on the ship alike gather around the two competitors as they throw each other around into the surrounding tables. Food and utinsils fly in all directions and litter the area. Izzy grabs Caedus and throws him into one of the serving tables where several hotplates and steam pots sit. Caedus crashes into the table and the hot water from them spill out onto him burning him!
Mike Stump: Hey, that shouldn't have been so bad considering how cold it is!!
Caedus bounces around as his hands and chest get singed from the water. Izzy runs and kicks Caedus in the side of the head, but misses! Caedus rolls out of the way and grabs one of the warmers and swings it once, but Ravenwolf dodges! Caedus with it again!
SLAM!!
The warmer cracks Izzy across the face sending her down to her hands and knees. Caedus lifts the warmer above his head and throws it on the flat of her back and she flops down on her belly.
Caedus doesn't waste any time and grabs Izzy by the hair and stuffs her head between his legs, picks her up, and drops her on her head with a piledriver on the broken serving table! Izzy is dazed by the blow and tries crawling away, but Caedus grabs her by the boot and drags her back! He picks her up and pulls her with him over to the edge of the deck and tries throwing her over the side! Izzy counters and the two struggle back and forth over a balcony where the fall would only lead them to the lower deck.
Mike Stump: I suppose Jim Caedus has the right idea here... They DO have to get down to that lower deck!!
Gaylord Cockshafer: Yes, but it's definitely a risky situation they're both in there. That's a long fall....!
Ravenwolf claws Caedus's eyes and punches him in the nose. Caedus stumbles back and is blinded by the claws and the blow! Izzy kicks him in the gut and plants him on the floor with a DDT! Caedus's body stiffened up like a board when his head hit straight on!
Gaylord Cockshafer: Oh my God! Did you see how he landed? He could be paralyzed!
Behind them are a set of steps that lead to the bridge, Izzy grabs Caedus by his mane and throws him into them. He falls to his hands and knees and slowly crawls away from her going up one step at a time. She smiles and slowly follows behind him. When he reaches the top, he uses the top railing to help himself to his feet, but is knocked right back down again with a swift kick to the jaw. He lands and his back is pressd against the door and Izzy kicks it open! He falls back as a few fellows inside are quite shocked at the company they've gotten!
Captain: YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE! GET OUT!
Gaylord Cockshafer: Uh oh! I don't think anyone expected these two to make their way up to the bridge, Stump!!
Mike Stump: Somebody get those two out of there before they sink the ship! I can't swim, Gaylord!!
A coal furnace burns across the room and catches Izzy's eye. She walks over and grabs the iron poker hanging from a hook beside it and looks over to her opponent with a sinister smile. Caedus is still working on getting to his feet and the captain and several others continue to stand on guard in case things get REALLY out of hand. Izzy charges across the room after the TV champ with the poker high above her head. Caedus, in a desperate move, jumps to the wheel and pulls it down!
Gaylord Cockshafer: OH SHIT!!
The ship turns sharply in the open ocean as the entire population of it screams for dear life! Anything that wasn't nailed down slid across the deck and either fell over board or slammed against the railing. Not a single person stayed on their feet, including Izzy Ravenwolf, who actually flew in the air a bit and slammed through the window looking out from the bridge! The poker she weilded lies on the floor at Caedus's feet and his eyes lighten up. He picks it up and makes his way back outside to the catwalk where Izzy had flown to. She looks up at him just as he comes down with the poker acrossed her face! A huge gash forms just under Ravenwolf's eye! He lifts up again and comes down on her back with it! As she falls flat he drops the poker beside her and grabs her by her under arms. He sets her up between his legs and lifts her up for a powerbomb! He turns and faces the steps that leads back down to the upper deck and throws Izzy from his shoulders! She soars through the air and hits about halfway down the middle of the steps and rolls the rest of the way down!
Caedus slowly walks down the steps, catching his breath along the way. When he reaches Izzy he drops a heavy elbow down onto the back of her head. He springs right back up to his feet and rops another, then another! He remains seated and looks around for a moment, gets to his feet, and looks over the railing below. Below them is the lower deck, and easy access to throw the opposition overboard. Directly below them, is a small ice rink where you would think a swimming pool would be, for the skaters on board. Caedus walks away from Izzy and waits for her to pulls herself up in front of the railing....
Caedus charges her looking for a clothesline, but Izzy counters! She jumps on his shoulders and pulls him over the edge with a hurricanrana! Caedus flies over the ledge as Izzy hangs onto the railing! He twirls down to the lower deck and crashes onto a small rink of ice for the ice skaters on the ship! The rink is of course cleared at the moment due to the event, so luckily no fans were injured when this happened!
Caedus hit the ice so hard that it shattered and left a spider-webbed series of cracks where he laid! Izzy pulls herself around and let's go. She slowly falls to the lower deck, as if she levitated.
Mike Stump: That was freaky. You see that, Gaylord?
Gaylord Cockshafer: I did, Stump. Miss Ravenwolf is definitely an odd being....
Izzy makes her way over to the edge of the rink and waits for Caedus to stir, but he doesn't.
Gaylord Cockshafer: It looks like Jim Caedus could be out cold from that fall, Stump! Izzy's not going to have an easy time getting him to the edge if he's unconcious!
Izzy steps onto the ice, pushes off, and slides to center ice where Caedus still lies on his back. She reaches down to pick him up, but he sweeps her leg with his forearm and she easily slips and falls to her back! Caedus shows new life and reaches across and smacks Ravenwolf across the face with his fist! Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she now falls lifeless onto the ice. Caedus stands up to his feet, hardly able to keep his balance, and pulls Izzy up to her feet as well! He uses his all of his strength and slings her across the ice, falling to the ice himself from the momentum. She falls foward and slides to the edge on her face and shoulders until skidding to a stop. Caedus gets back to his feet and starts shuffling down the ice towards Izzy. He begins picking up momentum as she slowly gets to her feet, as he reaches top speed, he leaps into the air and stick his boot out!
Gaylord Cockshafer: Wrexus Plexus!
Mike Stump: GOODBYE!
Izzy soars in the air from the huge impact of that kick.
Gaylord Cockshafer: That powerful Yakuza kick to the solar plexus is devastating under normal circumstances.... Jim Caedus had a HELL OF A LOT of momentum going into that one though, Stump!
Mike Stump: I can't believe Ravenwolf isn't snapped in half from that one...
Izzy hits the deck several feet away after taking the huge blow. She lands with her back against the railing to the edge of the ship and holds herself up with her arm...
Gaylord Cockshafer: She can barely stay on her feet after that! She's usuing all of her strength to stay up!
Mike Stump: She better get away from that railing or else......
Gaylord Cockshafer: Look out!
Caedus rushes after her, spins around, and cracks her with the PURGATORY PUNCH! Izzy's face crumbles and her body contorts backwards over the railing and she falls into the cold Arctic Ocean!
Gaylord Cockshafer: That's it! It's over!
Mike Stump: Witch overboard!
WINNER - JIM CAEDUS
Tig O'Bitties: “THIS MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, AND IS FOR THE VACANT HART CHAMPIONSHIP!”
Tig O'Bitties: “INTRODUCING FIRST, STANDING 6'5 and WEIGHING IN AT 290lbs, FROM WASHINGTON, DC... ROBBIE BOURBON!”
A series of fireworks fire off on the stage as Robbie's music starts to play throughout the arena. Across the X-Tron, we see the exact same thing as what is traditionally used as Robbie Bourbon's banner on the XWF website as Robbie steps out. He raises his arms to 45 degree angles while the X-Tron shows clips of Robbie standing on top of the Elimination Chamber followed by the massive dive through the top onto Trax, Robbie forcing Vinnie Lane to sign his contract mid-match, and Robbie delivering the final blow to Barney Green's career by way of Robbiebomb onto the hood of the car.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “ROBBIE BOURBON LADIES AND GENTALMEN! This man claims to have been teleported here to the antarctic by Jesus Christ himself, and you know what? I believe him!”
Robbie starts to calmly walk down to the ring, taking his time to get there. He climbs the ring steps, stands on the apron, and turns his back to the ring, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles while jawing to the crowd, which is singing along to I, Don Quixote. Robbie then enters the ring and points at the referee, jawing at him. He then spins, hops on the second turnbuckle, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles again.
Tig O'Bitties: “And his opponent...”
Tig O'Bitties: “.STANDING 6'2 AND WEIGHING IN AT 212lbs, FROM OMAHA, NEBRASKA... BRANDON MOORE!”
The opening lines of Cemetery Gates begin. Once they end and the thrilling guitar piece begins, Brandon Moore emerges onto the entrance stage. He is wrapped up in so many layers upon layers of sweat pants, sweat shirts, and coats that he looks like he is almost the same size as Robbie Bourbon. Brandon Moore makes his way down the ramp, obviously freezing to death, despite all of the layers of clothing he is wearing.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Brandon Moore doesn't seem to be a fan of the weather out here. I can't say I blame him, thankfully Vincent Lane was kind enough to provide me with official XWF nuclear fusion space heaters for tonight broadcast!”
Brandon More struggles to get into the ring with all of the added girth his clothes add. Meanwhile Robbie Bourbon is pointing a laughing his ass off at Moore. Robbie yells something inaudiable as he leans over the ropes looking to the time keepers station. Tig O'Bitties hurriedly brings a microphone over to Bourbon.
Robbie Bourbon: “What's the matter Brandon? Are you cold!? LET ROBBIE BOURBON SHOW YOU HOW A REAL MAN DOES IT!”
Robbie drops the microphone and grabs his spandex outfit by the crotch with one hand, and rips it off in one fluid motion, revealing a star spangled THONG!
Dewey Gobblecoque: “ROBBIE NOOOO! AIN'T NOBODY TRYIN' TA SEE THAT!”
Robbie turns around and shakes his ass at a frustrated Brandon Moore who is still fighting to get through the ropes. Robbie twirls the ripped away spandex tights over his head as the crowd goes wild! Robbie points out to the XWF Universe and tosses his tights into the crowd. They end up landing on a small boy, hitting him directly in the face! Robbie continues to posture to the crowd as Brandon Moore finally manages to enter the ring.
Once both men are in the ring, Old Man Johnson holds the vacant Hart title above his head. Johnson climbs out of the ring, and hands the title over to the time keeper Nipsey Russell. Johnson climbs back into the ring. He checks that both men are ready then calls for the bell.
DING DING DING!
And they're off!
Bourbon makes a mad dash toward Brandon Moore, driving a knee into his gut and landing several quick shots to the back of the head. Robbie backs up and charges, leveling Moore with a devastating clothesline. Robbie squats down over Brandon Moore and tea bags him! Brandon Moore isn't out yet though! He quickly grabs Robbie's Thong and stretches it out out a few feet, showing cock and balls to the entire XWF Universe!
Dewey Gobblecoque: “AWWW COME ON! I TOLD YOU NOBODY WANTED TO SEE THAT!”
Brandon Moore releases his grip on Bourbons thong as it snaps back into place with a thunderous SNAP! Robbie's eyes grow large as crystallized tears gather in his eyes. Robbie drops to his knees holding his mid section as Brandon Moore gets up and rushes in with a FLIPPING NECKBREAKER! Moore struggles to get back to his feet since all other the layers of clothes that he is wearing is making it hard to move around. Old Man Johnson see's this as an opportunity to end this match early and get back to the heated cabin, so he begins a quick ten count.
1
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2
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3
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4
Dewey Gobblecoque: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING JOHNSON!? THIS MATCH JUST STARTED!”
5
.
6
Robbie and Moore both realize that Johnson is trying to end this match early, and they both struggle to get up.
7
.
Robbie is up to his knees, and Moore is desperately trying to pull himself up via the ropes.
8
.
9
Both men are back to their feet! Old Man Johnson makes a frumpy frowny face as he folds his arms, tucking his hands tightly under his pits.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “That was a close one! Old Man Johnson was trying to ruin this match for everyone!”
Brandon Moore rushes towards Bourbon, but he's moving kinda slow. Bourbon see's Moore coming and throws a stiff throat chop! Moore to his credit doesn't go down, he just staggers back. It must be all of the scarfs offering protection from that move! Robbie Bourbon stalks Moore. The two men lock up, Moore locks Bourbon arms under his own and hits Bourbon with multiple headbutts. Bourbon is just smiling though. Moore's frustrated by this, and hits Robbie with another series of headbutts, this time seemingly putting everything he has behind each shot. Robbie's nose is busted open now, blood is streaming down his face, but he's still smiling! Robbie reverses the hold, trapping Moore's arms the same way that Moore just had him. Robbie leans back, and hits one big devastating headbutt that sends Moore flying backwards. Moore hits the ropes, and stumbles falling right through them!
This is Old Man Johnson's Chance! He begins the ten count.
1
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2
.
Robbie quickly rolls out of the ring, and whips Brandon Moore into the steel ring post.
3
.
4
.
5
Robbie pulls Moore up, and tosses him into the ring.
6
.
7
.
8
.
Robbie rolls into the ring right behind him!
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Somebody needs to do something about Johnson! All of these counts have been undoubtedly fast!”
Old Man Johnson makes that frumpy frowny face from before, and once again tucks his hands under his pits to stay warm.
Robbie lays a few stomps into Moore as he fights to get up. Moore manages to get to his feet, but Robbie grabs him up for a big move. Moore slips out of Robbie's grip though, and hits him with a big right handed punch that rocks Bourbon's world! Robbie staggers back as Moore rushes in throwing another punch, and another and another! Robbie Bourbon drops to the mat, half out of it! Old Man Johnson pushes Brandon Moore back so that he can check on Bourbon.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “I don't think I have ever seen Robbie Bourbon rocked so hard by standard punches. What's going on here!?”
While Johnson is checking on Bourbon, Brandon turns his back to them and starts smiling as he takes off his mitten, and revels that he was wearing BRASS KNUCKLES the entire time!
Dewey Gobblecoque: “What the!? JOHNSON, YOU WANT TO END THIS MATCH EARLY? TURN AROUND!”
Brandon Moore tosses the brass knuckles out of the ring, and turns his attention back to Bourbon. Bourbon has waved off the referee, and his getting back to his feet. Robbie Bourbons skin is starting to turn blue though, the cold weather is definitely getting to him.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Robbie is a fighter, no doubt about it, but the combination of those brass knuckles, the cold weather, and the non season appropriate attire that Robbie has decided to wear tonight may all spell disaster to him.”
Moore tries to capitalize on the situation. Moore rushes in and hits Robbie Bourbon with a SHINNING WIZARD!
Moore hooks the leg.
1
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2
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THR.....
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Two and seven eighths!”
Moore grabs Robbie by the mask and lays in a series of punches to the face. Robbie explodes with an anger filled rage and tosses Brandon Moore off of him and half way across the ring! Robbie rushes in and hits a Sambo Suplex, followed up by a Tilt a Whirl Backbreaker! Robbie drops to a knee to catch his breath, obviously freezing at this point. Robbie crawls over to Moore, and mounts him, pinning him with his star spangled nuts resting on Moore's chin.
Old Man Johnson is too cold for this shit. He takes his time getting into position for the count.
.
.
.
.
1
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.
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2
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.
No Somehow Brandon Moore slipped out! Robbie grabs Brandon by the throat!
E.M.C.!!!
NO! Brandon Moore slipped out of his. Brandon Bounces off of the ropes and attempts a hurricanrana !
But Robbie remains on his feet, and lifts Brandon Moore back up over his head...
ROBBIEBOMB!
But wait Robbie isn't done, he pulls Brandon Moore back up...
ROBBIEBOMB!
Robbie pulls him up again....
SPINNING SITOUT ROBBIEBOMB!!!!
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Three ROBBIEBOMBS! There's NO WAY that Brandon Moore can kick out if Robbie covers him!”
Robbie is slow to move. His skin at this point can only be described as SMURF BLUE from head to toe. Old Man Johnson walks over to check on him and quickly realized that Robbie Bourbon has taken his last breath. He is seemingly died from Hypothermia.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Oh no! Not like this.... NOT LIKE THIS!”
Old Man Johnson stands up facing the hard camera and throws up the X signal.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Cut the feed, don't show this!”
Old Man Johnson walks over to the ropes and explains to Tig O'Bitties what to announce.
Tig O'Bitties remains outside of the ring as she relays Old Man Johnson's instructions.
Tig O'Bitties: “Ladies and gentlemen, Senior Official Johnson has instructed me to announce that Robbie Bourbon is unfit to continue. So The Winner of this match, and new Hart Champion is...”
Suddenly a divine light shines down on the ring, and a voice thunders through out the area.
”NOT SO FAST!”
Jesus Christ descends from the heavens, and lands softly in the ring beside of Robbie Bourbon.
”I know thou did want want my divine intervention, but I was so enjoying this competition.
Jesus places his hand on Robbie's head and closes his eyes. Robbie's skin quickly changes from blue to normal, and Robbie's eyes open as he takes in a deep breath.
Go Get'em Tiger!
Jesus snaps his fingers, and suddenly out of thin air Robbie Bourbon is decked out in his wrestling attire again, only with upgrades. Yeah baby, we're talking a 90,000 mAh battery powered self warming pair of wrestling trunks.
Jesus waves at the crowd as he ascends back to the Heavens.
Dewey Gobblecoque: “Jesus Christ ladies and gentlemen!”
Old Man Johnson rolls his eyes before signaling for the match to continue.
Meanwhile, Brandon Moore has had plenty of time to recover from the three Robbiebombs he suffered... he sees Bourbon looking at his new duds with appreciation, even giving Moore himself a wink and a thumbs up as his skin regains its pinkness from the heated tighty fighties.
Moore takes quick advantage charging in and nailing a picture perfect high dropkick right to the mask!
Robbie stumbles back and tries to use his momentum to come off the ropes hard... but Moore is already back up and tosses a kitchen sink knee to the gut of Bourbon, who does a full somersault and lands on his backside from the momentum.
Another lightning quick dropkick to the back of Bourbon's skull slingshots the big man down onto his back, and Moore runs to the perpendicular ropes.
Dewey Gobblecoque: We've seen this before!
Moore springs onto the middle rope, then hops onto the top rope and flips backward with a high arcing moonsault! Bourbon takes 100% of the force, and Moore bounces up onto his knees, smiling, as he sees the damage he's done.
Dewey Gobblecoque: JUST PLAIN BETTER! For the title!
Moore hooks a leg!
1!
2!
BOURBON KICKS OUT!
Brandon Moore is bench pressed off of Bourbon, who sits up and starts shaking and pumping his fists.
Moore sends a stiff kick right into Robbie's back, but Bourbon seems to feel no pain as he continues to quiver with adrenaline.
Then, as Bourbon starts to get up on one knee, Moore swoops in and locks on a Koji Clutch!!!
Dewey Gobblecoque: Moore has a Koj Clutch sunk in on Bourbon, who's still on one knee! The former President is looking lik he might black out at any moment!
Bourbon sways in the clutch, leaning forward and placing a palm on the mat... his other hand hovers just over the canvas, looking ready to tap at any moment.
Robbie slumps, his elbows both coming down onto the mat allowing Moore to tighten his anaconda vise... but then....
Bourbon with a sudden burst of power!
Bourbon leaps to his feet with Moore still wrapped around his neck!
PSYCHO DRIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Robbie drills Brandon Moore into the canvas, and collapses onto him for a pin!
Winner by pinfall and NEW XWF Hart Champion - ROBBIE BOURBON!
Dewey Gobblcoque: What a match! What a finish! Robbie Bourbon is the new Hart Champion!
Warfare fades to commercial as Bourbon is handed his new title belt and celebrates in the ring.
Jenny bumps into Snow in the hallway.
"Hey...look, Chris has a match and I kinda said something that came out the wrong way. He said he doesn't want me out there tonight.....but...you are MY servant for 30 days....."
Snow: You're point, blondie?
"My point is, watch this match from ringside, like I would. If my man gets in any trouble, feel free to help him out."
"And if I don't?"
"Then don't bother coming back to work because I will make your life a living hell....."
"I really hate you"
"I am going to the ring with him. You stay close by. I'll wave if we need you....."
She ran off screen trying to chase down Chris.
Snow shook her head and shrugged.
Steve Sayors stands chit-chatting with an XWF Cameraman outside a dressing room door. "Chaos" the label on the plaque reads. The tell a few jokes, just before the door swings open and Chris Chaos storms out.
Steve Sayors: CHRIS! Can I get a few words before your big match tonight with Nixon and Reno? Just a few, I'll make it quick!
Chris Chaos: Not a good time Steve. Fuckin' Initiative's... bullshit!
Steve and the cameraman look at one another in conundrum. The door creeks open again. Vinnie Lane walks out in a black leather jacket surprised to see Sayors, then makes a hard left while vaping a puff and simultaneously avoiding the camera.
Steve Sayors: Hey, Vince!? What the hell are you doing in there, why was Chaos so upset!? VINCE! COME ON!?
Vinnie Lane: YOU'LL KNOW WHEN I WANT YOU TO KNOW, STEVE!
Sayors instructs the camera to follow as they try to track down the vacating Lane, who hops on his somehow overlooked parked Segway and zooms down the hallway. The out of breath Sayors still trying to run down some answers. Back inside the makeshift arena, the Wednesday Night Warfare logo overtakes the screen, revealing a graphic for the triple threat match, "Up Next in the heart of the cruise ship". A quick break transition leads to a shot of Thomas Nixon standing in front of a black screen looking into the lens.
Thomas Nixon: It is a time for battle. It's time to see who the real alpha male is. Who's time is it in XWF? Chris Chaos? Yours truly? Gabe... ha. Well, tonight won't be easy. But by the end of this match, history will be rewritten. For a future we will all come to live in. Bout after bout we come out on the Savage, Warfare, House Shows, and Pay-Per-View's. We bleed. We sweat. We preform. Tonight will be no different. Only, it will be. Because only one can carry the torch. Who will take it, and who will be burnt in the process? My hands are ready.
The scene fades, arriving back at Head Commentator Dewey Gobblecoque. He is caught looking over at the sitting Tig's O'Bitties before realizing the video is back live.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Oh, uhhh... yes, sorry. And we are back! A temperamental Universal Champion back there, but what was our Chief Vinnie Lane doing back there? Then a few words from Thomas Nixon. Well fans, here we go, the early candidate for match of the year if and only if it can live up to the insane hype built by feuds in recent weeks between Nixon and Reno, Chaos and Reno, Chaos and Nixon, and now a mad cross dash between all three in a slanderous amount of shit talk that can only accumulate to the XWF way of settling scores... as insane sure to be harmful match for all involved. Mika Hunt in the ring to call this match, as Tig is stepping into the ring to announce our competitors in what certainly has a Las Vegas bout feel... while, of course, in the middle of the Antarctic Ocean. It may be freezing outside, but it is about to be scorching hot inside that squared circle!
Tig holds the microphone up to her supple red painted lips. Timekeeper Nipsey Russell adds a few dings to subtly simmer down the decks on onlookers in the main ship hall. Other wrestlers, and ship crew are seen all around watching the main arena on closed circuit television. Everyone's eyes glued to the coming minutes.
Tig O'Bitties: Ladies and gentlemeennnn! The next bout is our MAIN EVENT ON WARFARE! A three way triple threat match, in a non-title affair. FIRST... making his way to the ring from the beautiful and recently devastated city of San Diego, California, weighing in at TWO-HUNDRED AND FIVE POUNDS AT A HEIGHT OF SIX FEET AND FOUR INCHES... HE ISSS THE SHOVE-IT BATTLE ROYAL WINNER, 'THE RADICAL' GABBBBEEEEEEE RENNOOOOOOO!
'Am I Savage' by Metallica hits the ship speakers as a display shows on the mini X-Tron. Gabe Reno comes out from behind a blue and white icy textured Antarctica themed curtain. Wearing white and blue wrestling tights, arm bands, and shiny metallic blue boots. He smacks a few hands on the side of the abbreviated entrance ramp, then slides in the ring, moving post to post with intertwined hands in a symbol.
Dewey Gobblecoque: And for everyone at home just so you know, we try to get shots from all over this cruise ship, but it can be challenging. We do have a full sized ring, but clearly the massive stadium seating we are accustomed to in our normal venues has taken a backseat for this special sea adventure. The self proclaimed "Erratic Enigma" is first to the ring, and his career in XWF so far has been just that. Erratic. He won big to start, then has seemingly been in position to win matches, but failed to close the deal, including a match a piece against both Nixon and Chaos who he will face again here. Many have said this guy doesn't belong in main events until he can prove victorious. And if he loses tonight, he may not see one for a while with the amount of talent barking up the contender tree here as of late with new arrivals seen on both Savage and Warfare. Vinnie has really fed the flock so to speak...
The music ramps down, replaced by cheers seeing the former Television Champion Thomas Nixon walking up from the back. His theme, 'My Sacrifice' by Creed rolls into the ears of all watching. Tig prepares for his arrival.
Tig O'Bitties: and nowwww... from the great landmark of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania... he is the recent Television Champion, and member of PATROL! WEIGHING IN AT TWO-HUNDRED AND FIVE POUNDS, AT THE HEIGHT OF SIX FEET TALL. THE QUIEETT AND CALCCULLATTEDDD ONEEEE... THOMMMASSSSSSS.... NIXONNNNNNNNN!
Nixon appears at the themed curtain wearing his black trunks and cape. The noticeable green lizard insignia on the back of the cape stand out, a beacon of what he truly fights for. Thomas races down short entry way, as the smaller crowd applauds him and his cause, whether he is completely insane or not. Nixon hops on the and climbs up the far turnbuckle. He removes his cape, then holds it like a flag and gestures at the insignia. The crowd nods in approval, before Thomas enters the ring, brushing by Reno to hand the cape to a stagehand at ringside.
Dewey Gobblecoque: To say this guy has burst onto the scene here in XWF would be an understatement. Though he did lose this past Savage to Jim Caedus, before that he had torn through some tough competition like Broken Hart, Brandon Moore basically twice, Reno, Barney, and even Jakob Davis back at Wild Card. This guy is chomping at the bit to prove himself as a realm piece of the future. This may be the perfect opportunity to make up for the loss to Caedus while also propelling himself into contention against Chaos with a W. The action never stops here, folks.
The inner ship goes dark. The sound of crashing waves just over the side of the hull is the only thing heard outside of gasps from the shock of losing the electricity. An electric pulse can be deciphered on the small X-Tron. The sound of an explosion rocks the shit, as everyone begins to panic thinking it may have hit an iceberg. The screen comes up to the sight of the aftermath of an explosion. As if all the forces of natures had taken their toll. In the center Chris Chaos walks toward the audience. A slit in the screen allows him to walk directly out though to the entrance with the Universal Championship over his shoulder. He raises it into the air as the lights come back on fully and the people cheer realizing it was a sick entrance and not an actual disaster.
Tig O'Bitties: FINALLY, THE MAN KNOWN AS SIMPLY... CHAOS! HE STANDS AT SIX FEET AND FIVE INCHES HIGH! HE WEIGH IN AT TWON-HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS! HE IS OUR XWF... UNNNNNIVVERSSAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL CHHAMMMPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! FROM TAMPA, BY WAY OF CLEARWATER BEACH, FLORIDA... HE IS, CHRRIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! AND HIS ESCORT TO THE RING, JENNYY!
'Die Motherfucker Die' By Dope featuring a SpecOps video plays within the main hall confines. Jenny steps through the curtain and joins Chris, taking his title, allowing him to walks and stretch on his way to the ring with an intense meaningful stare at the two in the ring. Half way down he sprints and slides in, brushes back his bangs behind his ears with the cold stare that has garnished him much success. The fans internally cheer and chant "XWF". He bounces on the middle ropes looking out at everyone in attendance including a collection of dressed down SpecOps soldiers in the front row. Tig exits the ring, while Referee Mika Hall gets ready and gives the signal to Nipsey to begin the match.
Dewey Gobblecoque: And the Champ looks laser focused on these two men who have been really talking up each of their own accolaids this week, while really not giving much credit to the man who currently reigns a top the entire industry. As fast as Nixon and Reno came on and started to perform, Chris Chaos' rise to the top has been more impressive than nearly any before him. He has defeated the best of the best, time and again to win title and makes a name for himself on nearly every piece of XWF merch on the market right now. This guys past, present, and future are about as bright as we have ever seen. Saturday he notched yet another win on his belt. And no one would be shocked if tonight followed suit.
Just as the bell tolls from Russell's pudgy fingers, a voice comes over the ship, and an image of Vinnie Lane appears on the X-Tron, and all the closed circuit televisions.
Vinnie Lane: Hold on a second. Nipsey, Drew, Tig, Mika... fans... I am sorry. I was thinking today about a lot of things we can do to improve the XWF viewer experience. A gigantic cruise ship is only part of the plan moving forward for tonight. But, what good is a cruise ship, if we are in a standard ring, in a standard match. I hope you guys like the cold. I am officially making this AN OPEN DECK BRAWL! Triple threat rules, no holds barred, no disqualification, still non-title, but FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE! And this will not start, until all three competitors are on the deck outside! Mika, Drew, grabs your coats, let's do this right!
Mika Hunt instructs the wrestlers to exit the ring, Nixon is out first walking up the stairway between the cultivated seating sections, and up to the top deck. Dewey grabs a jacket and a cordless microphone, following along. Chaos and Jenny grabs a few coats from the ringside staff sent out by Vince from their dressing rooms, then proceed to the top as well. Everyone looks around, but Reno seems to have disappeared during the course of the announcement. Having reached the top with no Reno in sight, Hunt says let's go, as Russell rings the bell in hand, and the staff all step back many feet to allow a large perimeter for the fight. Hunt explains the rules Vinnie just laid out, then lowers her hand as a "go".
Dewey Gobblecoque: This has got to be a first... my God, it is freezing out here. But we are going to take it for the team, and stick here until we are icicles if that's what it takes. Some of you may have noticed only two of the three men made it to the top deck, we aren't sure if Gabe went to grab a warmer ring attire or what, but we are going to start here, and if there is a fall before he can get back, it will count according to Mika Hunt!
Nixon pretends to not be paying attention standing next to the cabin wall. Chaos rushes him while Jenny is heard telling him to dominate. Nixon dodge's the attempt, then turns fast with a hard white and blue life preserver from the wall, nailing Chris in the nose, then putting it over his head. He kicks the preserver, sending Chaos to the deck. Chris struggles, as Jenny walks over and puts her foot on Chris' shoulder to pry the preserver off of his head. Nixon heads over to follow up, pushing Jenny off, and using the trapped Chaos' head as a punching bag with aggressive fists to the dome. Nixon gets up in a fury, holding up his arms and spinning around; the chilly arctic air causing a foggy trail of breath behind him.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Nixon is not messing around here. Smart move, and that is legal here, folks. No rules outside of a one fall finish. Chaos looks to have finally gotten that preserver off of his head!
Chris gets up, but Nixon tackles his to the deck, and begins wailing on his head again. Suddenly, a loud whistle catches the attention of the crew, ref, and Nixon. He looks up to see where it is after hitting Chris in the head one more time. On top of the cabin, two stories higher, Gabe Reno stands whistling in perfect posed position, then suicide dives into a massive cross-body onto Nixon just before he notices what is going on.
Dewey Gobblecoque: WHERE THE HELL DID RENO COME FROM!
Gabe begins a relentless barrage of chops and elbows to Nixon. Meanwhile, Chaos looks up regaining his faculties, and seeing Gabe entering the match. Chaos, gets up slowly and tip toes over to Jenny, who hands him the Universal Title belt, he then does his traditional charge to the ring routine and catches an unsuspecting fired up Reno with a gold plate to the face.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Reno just got clocked by the Champ, very interesting start!
After handing the belt back to Jenny, Chaos kicks Reno out of the way to settle some business with Nixon over the life preserver incident. He picks up Thomas and pushes his stumbling body over to the railing on the edge of the ship. He hooks Nixon's arm around the railing, then begins a series of right hands, each time shaking his hand to regain feeling from the cold circumstances. The shots ring out loudly with the icy smacks echoing across the entire deck.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Man, that even sounds awful.
Gabe gets back up, grabbing a loose chain from some type of tension wrench in the ships deck spindle mechanism. He walks up behind Chaos, using it to choke him as Jenny squeals for Chris to watch out. Jenny runs over to Mika Hunt asking for her to do something; Hunt tells her to back off. Reno uses the chain to pull Chaos into a tornado DDT propelling off the cabin wall. A woozy Nixon realizes what is going on, and runs over to clothesline Reno, but Gabe ducks underneath and follows with a hard knife edge chop that drops Nixon to his back. Chaos grabs Reno's foot, but Gabe shakes it trying to finish off a move on Thomas. Nixon gets up while Reno's foot is still stuck, and delivers a spinning heel kick to the upper body. Chaos lets go of Gabe's foot and gets up, but Nixon is quickly over and Irish-whips Chaos into the railing, nearly going head first over the side of the ship. Overhead angles by helicopter circling the ship shows on the closed circuit TVs and to the viewers at home. Nixon gets behind Chaos in an attempt to lift him over the railing, but Chris begins repeated elbows to the temple, realizing the predicament. Icy hail begins to fall from the sky onto the entire collection of people on the deck.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Chaos almost just went into a wet grave! Do we have EMT's available!? My God!
Nixon turns around stunned; out of nowhere Chaos retaliates with a spear to the wet deck. Chaos put an arm over the devastated Thomas. Hunt gets on one knee in her winter coat to count.
1...
2...
From behind Reno pulls the leg of Chaos to break up the pin. Chaos struggles to get his foot away, but in a nod to revenge, Reno holds onto his leg, then drops an elbow on the inner thigh of Chaos over and over again as he moans in pain. Gabe jumps into the air for a sitting leg drop. Holding his abdomen, Nixon crawls toward the railing to help him get back up. Reno seeing the opportunity, and runs at Nixon, who back body drops him over the sides; Reno grabs the top railing pole and lands standing on the other side. Thomas realizes what he just did and turns to see if Gabe fell into the water. He is greeted by a stiff right hand, Reno propels over him for a power-bomb rolls up sitting pin attempt. Hunt, checking on Chaos, notices late and gets over for the count.
1...
2...
Nixon kicks Reno in the side of the head to escape the attempt. Thomas rolls out to a standing position, grabbing both of Reno's legs and trapping his head under the bottom railing pole, then leaning his weight back to whip Gabe's throat into the pole. The gasping Reno holds his throat, with a restricted airway and a little skin ripping off from the chilled pole against his warm skin. Hunt runs over to check on Reno, who is bleeding from the neck. Nixon turns his attention back to Chaos, who has crawled half way back down the other side of the deck after Reno's leg drop.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Gabe looks like he is in real trouble, he may not be able to continue. Chaos is working his way down to regroup, but Nixon appears to be having no part of that. Gotta stay on top of the Universal Champion. Good thinking.
Thomas grabs the chain Reno had used, and uses it to lash Chaos as he crawls away over the back. The icy metal hitting his back makes a horrible sound, as Jenny jumps up and down begging Nixon to stop. Chaos screams in pain; Nixon looks at Jenny and tells her to watch closely, hitting another lash with the chain to her beaux. EMT's run by them to run back to Gabe Reno. Nixon gives a sickly smile, gesturing toward Jenny that soon they will need to attend to Chaos feeling he has the upper hand over the other two fallen XWF stars. He hesitates while staring off into the icy ocean in a trance for a moment. He raises his hand back with the chain again, but Mika Hunt grabs it from behind, and warns him not to cause anymore injuries. Thomas puts his finger in her face reminding her that it is not against the match rules set by Vince. He barrages her into a corner, as she tosses the chain to the side. The barely able Chaos takes all he has and rolls up Nixon from behind, as Hunt drops to the deck to give a quick count.
1...
2...
Dewey Gobblecoque: This really is a deck brawl!
Out of literally nowhere Reno breaks up the pin. His entire neck and face below the mouth is a crimson mess from blood. He grasps his neck again after the break up. Chaos gets up quickly and clothesline the rebounding Nixon so hard that he flips in a 180 back to the freezing deck. Chaos gets up, looking at the injured Reno and shaking his head. EMT's run over, trying to convince Gabe to end his participation in the match. Chaos lifts him up by the head; the loss of blood has Gabe's eyes starting to fade into oblivion. He urges Reno to listen to the advice of the medical staff. Gabe shakes his head, and slaps Chaos across the face. Chaos pulls his hair back and again urges him to listen for once in his life. But again, Reno slaps him in the face. Chaos, finally fed up, decides to make the choice for Gabe, and takes a swing at him, but Gabe falls to the ground no longer held up by Chaos. Chris spin around right into a 'NIXON-ATOR' flying knee strike into a bridging German Supplex for a pin. Hunt delicately slaps the hard deck for the tally.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Could be the end!
1...
2...
THRE...
Dewey Gobblecoque: Nooo! Close call!
Reno throws the abandoned life preserver onto Nixon, as Hunt stops the count to shield her eyes in an attempt to see through the thickening hail making this match more hazardous and damn near impossible to officiate. Nixon breaks the bridge, and looks at the limp Reno who is perched again the base of the cabin wall, with his shaky shivering and bloody hands up, as if to challenge Thomas. Thomas looks at Gabe then grins not taking the threat seriously, and turns back to Chaos, mounting him with repeated punches to the head, busting Chris open. Nixon eventually stops, and licks the blood off his hand, wiping the rest back onto Chaos' tights. Jenny runs over, but Nixon pushes her away and tells Mika to do her job. Hunt tells Jenny if she comes close again she will be banned from the audience. Nixon picks up Chaos, and drapes his arms and shoulder over the top railing. Hunt warns him not to try to push Chris over, he raises his hand in protest, then begins to use the mounted Chaos as a punching bag with axe handled smashes over his back against the chilly top pole of the railing. Nixon finally gets pushed away by Hunt, who tells him she is tired of repeating herself.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Reno could be out here, he isn't moving. Nixon seems to have a screw lose, trying to prove his Saturday loss was a fluke. Maybe that was what he needed to push his aggression and game to the next level?
Chaos looks up through the fog of his own breath while blood from his head begins to run into his eyes. Suddenly he remembers all the lessons from his training, all the obstacles overcome to become the Universal Champion, all the naysayers who say he couldn't do it, and all the guys like Nixon he smashed after they thought they had him dead to rights. The cold hail is only eclipsed by Nixon's whip teeth in his cocky lingering around Chaos. After his talk with Hunt, he walks slowly over to the weak Chris, and picks him up, delivering a fall away slam, sliding Chaos into the wall next to Reno. He looks up as the impact's pain begins to manifest in his back and shoulders on the cold floor. He catches a glimpse of Reno out of the corner of his eye, Reno winks at him. Chaos squints not sure what to make of it. Nixon walks over to put the finishing touches on Chaos. He spins around seemingly in victory mode, then walks over beginning to pick up Chaos off the floor, as Chris looks at Gabe again unable to defend himself.
Dewey Gobblecoque: I DON'T KNOW IF CHRIS CAN FIGHT BACK, RENO IS STILL DOWN! NIXON HAS ALL THE CARDS IN HIS HAND!
Chaos in the arms of Nixon who has his back to Reno, see's another wink from Gabe, and gives all he has to escape the clutches of Thomas. He does just enough to wiggle free, then leans backward for a massive 'WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS' Super-kick to the jaw of Nixon. He stumbles back toward the wall stunned as Reno propels to his feet in a bloody mess and ricochets off the wall in front of Nixon and into a death drop. Reno naturally falls on top of Nixon, Hunt gets down for the count with Thomas' shoulders both down.
1...
2...
Dewey Gobblecoque: HOLY SHIT! THE COMPLEXION OF THIS MATCH IS NOT ANYONES BALL GAME AFTER NIXON WAS CLEARLY IN CONTROL! LITTLE TEAM WORK TO GET THEMSELVES BOTH BACK INTO THIS BY RENO AND CHAOS! BITTER RIVALS!
Chaos had lunged barely in time on top of the two men to stop the count by Mika. He picks Reno up by the head, both staggering to even keep upright in what has become a hail storm. In the icy sheet of visibility, they begins to trade right hands over the motionless body of Thomas Nixon. Each getting hit and barely staying afoot, then countering to do the same to the other man. After several shots, Reno falls to one knee. Chris motion to cut his through as the blood begins to cauterize on his face from his head gash trickling down then freezing over. Nixon starts to stirs back to consciousness. Chaos, pulls Reno to an open spot on the deck, then elbow him in the neck wound to keep him stunned, followed by an 'EQUALIZER' spinning F5 into a caught DDT. The cover, with Hunt there to finish it.
Dewey Gobblecoque: THIS IS DONE.
1...
2...
THRE...
Nixon with a running knee drop to the head of Chaos. The count is broken, as Nixon stumbles to his feet, then grabs Chris' blood filled hair; Thomas back up then delivers a running shoulder block to Chaos. He picks him up again, and tosses him hard into the base of the cabin wall.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Wow, Chaos had Reno right where he wanted him... Nixon is still in this.
Thomas spins back around the Reno, and hooks the leg in the aftermath of the 'EQUALIZER' by Chris Chaos. Mika gets down again.
1...
2...
THRE...
Gabe just barely gets his left shoulder up. Thomas looks at Hunt in disbelief, as she signals with he hands through the hail filled air with two fingers. Nixon gets up and begins stomping on Reno's various body parts. Behind the action, Jenny slides the Universal Title back over to Chaos, who shakes his head to regain his boundaries, then grasps his Championship. Nixon gets Reno's limp body up for a finishing move just in time to see Chaos rushing his with the belt. Nixon dives to the side, as Chaos hits Reno, propelling Gabe through the railing, left dangling by one trapped foot between the poles above the freezing water below.
Dewey Gobblecoque: If Reno falls, he could lose a lot more than the match, he already barely has enough blood in his body to stand up straight!
Gabe begins to shake, realizing his predicament, but not wanting to move, screaming to Mike Hunt to pull him back up. Chaos, feeling slightly guilty walks over and reaches a hand out to help Reno not fall into the endless abyss never to be seen again. Nixon runs at Chaos, who tries a forearm hit, but is still forced backwards into the railing, as Gabe's foot falls out of the railing.
Dewey Gobblecoque: GABE RENO JUST FELL OFF THE SHIP! OH MY GOOODD OH MY GODD! WHAT HAVE WE DONE!?
Chaos in an angry furry round house kicks Thomas, then forearm smashes, his, then kicks, smashes, kick, smash. Staggering backward, Nixon nearly falls down, but braces himself by waving his arms in the opposite direction to stay up. Chaos, goes for another 'WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS' Super-kick, but Nixon catches his leg on his own shoulder, then kicks Chris Chaos in the balls.
Dewey Gobblecoque: Ouch! Totally legal, but still not easy to watch.
He picks up Chaos in the center of the deck. The camera zooms in on eight fingertips on the edge of the icy edge of the ship barely hanging on for dear life. The helicopter circles showing Reno dangling from the edge of the deck trying to swing his legs back up to the railing pole. Nixon tries a power-slam, but Chaos slides back behind him, before Nixon undercuts him into a 'VICTORY ROLL'. Mika gets down.
1...
2...
THRE...
AND...
THAT'S...
Reno springboards off the top railing having finally swung back to the deck after several failed attempts; hitting the pin by Nixon. Thomas looks absolutely shocked, as Chaos gets up in a rage and runs at Thomas, but Nixon drop toe holds Chris into a face first plant onto the frozen deck. Nixon, gets up and walks into a hurracurrana from 'The Radical'. Gabe gets up slowly trying to get himself straightened out. Nixon rolls over to the railing, then tries a running move at Gabe, but Gabe leaps into the air doing the splits over Nixon, who runs right into a SPEAR from Chris Chaos.
Dewey Gobblecoque: WE THOUGHT RENO WAS DONE, HE JUST LEAPED OVER NIXON WHO RAN RIGHT INTO A SPEAR!
Nixon lays on the deck as hail collects on his nose and face. Chris Chaos stands in front of the stairwell back to the main hall where the ring is set up in the makeshift arena. Reno runs at Chaos, hitting a sitting drop kick, tossing Chris back down the stairs in a violent tumble, landing at the base of the bottom of the ring. Reno slowly gets back up, wiping the blood from his mouth, and carefully using the rails to climb down the stairs toward Chaos. He gets to the base, and picks up Chaos, rolling him into the ring. Gabe climbs to the top rope to set up a 'RATED R' Front Flip Leg Drop finisher. He gathers his balance to finish the match, just as he hears Mike Hunt warning someone behind him, as Nixon in a desperate sprint down the stairs, pushes Reno causing him to front flip off the rope into the ring directly into a face-buster by the possum playing Chris Chaos.
Dewey Gobblecoque: GABE GOT PUSHED BY THE DESPERATE NIXON INTO A FRONT FLIP THAT RESULTED IN A FACEBUSTER BY CHAOS! RENO COULD BE DONE IF SOMEONE PINS HIM!
Nixon slides in, Chaos goes for the spear again right off the bat, but Nixon dodges it, allowing Chaos to runs through the ropes and fly onto the floor below. Nixon quickly covers Gabe Reno for the win. Hunt slides into the ring with the first count on his initial motion.
1...
2...
THRE- E-?
Dewey Gobblecoque: GABE GOT A SHOULDER UP, RENO REFUSES TO LOSE THIS MATCH TO THOMAS NIXON!! THESE THREE MEN ARE AMAZING COMPETITORS!
Nixon gets up completely livid. He slides out of the ring to grab a weapon, turns up the apron, and pulling out a fold up chair. Just as he does, Chaos runs over with a BRO-KICK attempt, but Nixon throws the chair in his face. Thomas picks the chair back up and nails Chaos over the head making him fall flattened out on his back. Nixon smiles, and turns back around, as Reno delivers a baseball slides into the chair, into Thomas Nixon's head. Nixon falls on Chaos, as Hunt slides back out, and starts to count.
1...
2...
THRE-...
Gabe Reno ran off the opposite ropes and landed on both men with a SUICIDE DIVE ending the count.
Dewey Gobblecoque: FROM DECK TO NEARLY OFF THE SHIP TO BACK IN THE ARENA MAIN HALL, THIS MATCH HAS NOT DISAPPOINTED. THESE MEN REFUSE TO BEAT BEATEN BY EACH OTHER!!
Reno and Chaos get to their feet as Nixon continues to writhe on the floor... they trade hard lefts an rights until Chaos bends down and buries a shoulder into Reno's midsection, lifting him off his feet and running across the deck to slam him backfirst into the hull.
Reno's back twists as he wails in agony, and Chaos is smelling blood. He gets a sick grin across his face and takes a step back before charging at Reno with a running lariat against the wall of the ship!
BACKDROP BY RENO!!!! OH MY GOD, CHAOS IS IN THE OCEAN!!!!
Gabe Reno looks down into the drink at a frantically splashing Chris Chaos, who is struggling to get back to the ship and shouting for help back in.
Reno smiles an waves like a douchebag, but then gets blindsided by Thomas Nixon!
Nixon slams Reno's face against the hull, then hooks an arm over his neck and executes a supersonic snap suplex! The impact echoes across the entire ship as the fans ooh and ahh.
Reno is in a world of hurt, and Nixon doesn't let up for a second. Reno is dragged to his feet by the hair and then whipped back into the ring apron, followed almost immediately by a stinger splash from Thomas Nixon!
Dewey Gobblecoque: Thomas Nixon is beating the PISS out of Gabe Reno! This is a nautical ass kicking!
Nixon takes a few steps back and then rushes forward, throwing a nasty running dropkick right into the gut of Gabe Reno, who spits up a gob of blood onto the deck!
Stunned and possibly injured internally, Reno is unable to put up much resistance as Nixon takes him by the head and slams him skull first into the ringpost not once, not twice, but three god damn times. Reno slides down onto his knees leaving a trail of spittle and blood and mucus down the edge of the ring post like a snail with chlamydia had ascended it.
Nixon hops onto the apron and drags Reno up with him, pulling him onto his shoulders and depositing him on the top turnbuckle, facing outward. He then scales the corner post himself, wrapping his arms around Reno's neck and looking behind him to ensure he has Dewey's announce booth in his line of fire.
Dewey Gobblecoque: It would appear that resident lunatic and current proprietor of Gabe Reno's ass, Thomas Nixon, is going to put the Heavymetalweight Champion through my table... which means it is time for me to get right the fuck out of Dodge!
The sounds of Dewey fumbling to get his headset off and get out of his chair are broadcast over the televisions across the world... just as Thomas Nixon lifts Reno into a huge superplex!!!
NO!!!!
Gabe Reno had his foot tucked through the ropes, preventing him from being picked up off the corner! And then he buried a fist so deep into Nixon's testicles that he may have changed the formula of his future children's DNA!
Nixon is doubled over, and Reno takes full advantage, grabbing the former TV Champ's head and cracking into it with his own! The sound of the vicious headbutts are is like billiard balls after a professional break! Nixon's eyes roll back in his head and he droops backward... and Reno kicks him off the ring all the way down onto the announce table!!!!
THUMP.
The table holds firm! Nixon's body contorts as he slams into the table but doesn't go through... and Gabe Reno stands tall atop the corner!
RATED R THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE BOOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gabe Reno grabs his ribs but slides onto Nixon, demanding referee Mika Hunt hurry over and count!
1!
2!
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's finally over!
Winner by pinfall - "The Radical" Gabe Reno
We hear Dewey getting his ears and mic back on as sailors finally drag the soaking wet Chris Chaos back on board, wrapping him in towels as Jenny Myst rushes over to him.
Dewey Gobblecoque: WHAT AN INCREDIBLE END TO AN EPIC CRUISE SHIP MAIN EVENT LIVE HERE IN ANTARCTICA! WE HAVE JUST WITNESSED ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING MATCHES IN XWF HISTORY!
Chris Chaos is comforted by Jenny after the match. He looks up at the mini X-Tron, as Vinnie Lane reappears with a slow clap on-screen.
Vinnie Lane: Well, well, well... that was the kind of DECK BRAWL I EXPECTED! That was something else, fella's. Congratulations to the winner, Gabe Reno. Now, as I told Chris Chaos earlier tonight in his dressing room, before Steve Sayors got nosey and tried to harass me with questions... all will be revealed in due time, Sayors. I have a special announcement. As we all know, Doctor SATAN has been dominating the tag ranks virtually unopposed, and while PATROL and Bad Attitude, Havoc, have been promising... it isn't enough to make our tag division quite as good as say, the match you just witnessed tonight. In order to stimulate the ranks in the tag division... I have discussed with the brain-trust in XWF a new initiative. The ICONOCLAST INITIATIVE! What does this mean for people like... say, you three in the ring? Well, it mean that I will decide who competes in tag team matches using this initiative that I had added in IRON CLAD through the re-ups you all were forced to sign; you remember, to get those raises you all have been asking for; with the guaranteed contracts earlier this week as executed with each of you by "JJ", Jefferson Jackson, our Chief Financial Officer. Well, in exchange for all those things you wanted, I want to make some decisions. Starting with TEAM NUMBER ONE. Now, I expect these teams to compete and WORK TOGTHER, NO MATTER WHAT! IF YOU DO NOT, THERE IS A RELEASE CLAUSE BUILT IN TO MAKE SURE I CAN ELIMINATE ANY CONTRACT OF UNWILLING PARTICIPANTS! Why am I saying this now, and to Chaos earlier? Because the team I am forcing together first... is UNIVERSAL CHAMPION CHRIS CHAOS... AND... 'THE RADICAL' GABE RENO!
Gabe Reno: WHATTTT!? WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING IN THAT VAPE, LANE!?
Chris Chaos curses up at the X-Tron saying that Vince can't get away with this. On the other side of the ring hunched over after the match, Reno slams his hand on the apron, shrugging as if to ask why to Lane.
Chris Chaos: DAMNIT! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!
Vinnie Lane: WHY DOESN'T MATTER, AND YOU BETTER GET TOGETHER AND BOTH SHOW UP TO THE TAG MATCH THIS TIME, OR I WILL SUSPEND AND/OR RELEASE YOU! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT. WE NEED THIS, YOU NEED THIS, I NEED THIS... IT WILL BE DONE! Again, great match tonight... and that is exactly what I expect in your tag matches going forward... and I better see the same level of commitment, from BOTH OF YOU!
And you guys... just to make sure you start things out right, the two of you will be the only two officially announced partners in the biggest show of 2017 thus far. This March 29th, the XWF is going to bring to you...
The Tron fades from Lane's face to show -
Lane's face then fills the screen once again.
Vinnie Lane: That's right, fuckers! Lethal Lottery is BACK, and the wrestling business' most righteous tournament is going to start on the February 15th edition of Wednesday Warfare, in which the entire first round of sixteen randomly selected tag teams... except for you two of course... will be completed. Don't get TOO comfortable together though, dudes, the chances of you being paired together in round two are pretty damn slim. But you'll be getting to know each other pretty damn well in a few weeks.
Have a good night, back to my warm Jacuzzi in the Captain's room with Roxy, CIAO!
Warfare fades from the screen as Reno and Chaos stand in the ring, slack-jawed.
St Diabolically Shit Said:pointless as my existence
...Couldn't of said it better myself.
Trax just rubs his stomach and smirks.
Damn that bong hit was good... I got the munchies...they a Popeyes on this ship?
Banner created by Gabe "The Radical" Reno
XWF Career accomplishments/Highlights:
One Time XWF Universal Champion
Two Time X-Treme Champion
One Time Intercontinental Champion
One Time World Tag Team Champion
XWF All Time Top 50 inductee
One Time 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Intercontinental Royal Rumble Winner
Captained the winning team "Team Dominance" at War Games '15
Lethal Lottery IV Finalist
July 2015 Superstar Of The Month
March 2017 Superstar Of The Month
October 2016 Promo Of The Month "Changes"
The following 1 user Likes Mr Killjoy's post:1 user Likes Mr Killjoy's post JimCaedus (01-20-2017)
Micheal is standing by backstage with Steve Sayors.
MG: Tonight, Thaddeus Duke earned his victory. For as young as he is, it's ironic that I made the rookie mistakes. The next time we meet however, I promise the result will be different.
(01-19-2017, 10:15 AM)Dark Warrior Micheal Graves Said: Micheal is standing by backstage with Steve Sayors.
MG: Tonight, Thaddeus Duke earned his victory. For as young as he is, it's ironic that I made the rookie mistakes. The next time we meet however, I promise the result will be different.
The following 2 users Like Doctor Louis D'Ville's post:2 users Like Doctor Louis D'Ville's post (01-19-2017), Rain (01-20-2017)
Peter laughs sadistically as he ponders getting his universal title back
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
The following 3 users Like Peter Fn Gilmour's post:3 users Like Peter Fn Gilmour's post Maverick (01-19-2017), Rain (01-20-2017), Thomas Nixon (01-19-2017)
(01-19-2017, 10:15 AM)Dark Warrior Micheal Graves Said: Micheal is standing by backstage with Steve Sayors.
MG: Tonight, Thaddeus Duke earned his victory. For as young as he is, it's ironic that I made the rookie mistakes. The next time we meet however, I promise the result will be different.
ooc: Goddamn! Reading XWF cards makes me realize how absolutely fucking boring our competition must be, I know I've never had as much fun reading matches in past feds as I do here. You guys seriously outdid yourselves again, every match was excellently crafted! A personal thank you to whoever wrote Ravenwolf/Caedus, that was fuckin badass! Izzy it was a pleasure working with you, I love the talent you have for storytelling. Vincent it's doing that shit to me again where I can't see more than half the post (had to cut and paste elsewhere to read it) so it won't let me Like the card but you know I would if I could.
The following 1 user Likes JimCaedus's post:1 user Likes JimCaedus's post Rain (01-20-2017)
(01-19-2017, 10:15 AM)Dark Warrior Micheal Graves Said: Micheal is standing by backstage with Steve Sayors.
MG: Tonight, Thaddeus Duke earned his victory. For as young as he is, it's ironic that I made the rookie mistakes. The next time we meet however, I promise the result will be different.
It should not have been a surprise, Graves. If you've learned anything from the last two weeks, its that I'm not your average rookie.
I said this match would be a show stealer, and it was. It was an instant classic, Graves. One day when you wear XWF gold again, remember to thank me for bringing the best out of you, remember to thank me for bringing you back to the dance.
Just like I said I would.
74-31-1
Semi-Retired
1x XWF Universal Champion || 3x XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x XWF Television Champion || 1x XWF Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion || 2x SOTM (9/20, 7/21)
2021 Male Wrestler of the Year (shared w/ Alias) || XWF Hall of Legends
The following 2 users Like Thaddeus Duke's post:2 users Like Thaddeus Duke's post (01-20-2017), Rain (01-20-2017)
"Kid, Snow and I were made out to be jokes... but what happens when the joke dies? We all three have pasts that prove, we are not to be fucked with. All it takes one spark, one flame, and we WILL burn down those who stand against us. Ji Caedus... congratulationa, brother. Congrats on another victory, and lemme tell ya like I told you before... The Reevolution NEEDS a man like you. We need a CHAMPION, someone who can keep any man or woman on their feet, someone with FIGHT and desire. Jim... we'll be keeping an eye out. Rock on."
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iAm fluid... my gender, my sexuality, my personality...
as fluid as the drops of water pouring down upon us from the heavens above
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