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**12-30-2016, 01:25 AM**

Pig | 'WiTcH DoCtOr' BEAR BRADDOCK

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Prelude |

[[ Dangerous, them lot,
They root around and mark the ground,
And every sound they make’s
Both meaningless and clear.
Their familiar skin,
And the shape they’re in
Seem natural enough
But fear, a moment’s concentration loss
Could cost a finger, dear.
Their appetite’s eclectic,
Their unrestricted taste
Would take our prudish manners
And gobble them, in haste.
Yet, if in herds you pen them,
On ‘mast or meadow bloom
Their startling backs will gleam in rows
Against the gathering gloom.
Satisfied, their shapes will hold,
Eternally, they say,
The last, pink glowing memory
Of every sunny day. ]]

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Scene |

An annoying repetitive voice spewing recycled jargon again and again is seen in the form of Kid Kool's "careless whisper" promotion. A television mounted in a dark facade with the sound of slushy squirming in the background. The widening view reveals claw feet and the outside of an ole fashioned free standing white iron bathtub. Maggots, leaches, and worms fall out to the floor from the overflowing capacity level. Scanning to see dark toes poking out, followed by a light humming, then Bear Braddock immersed in the filth as if a child in a bubble bath. He notices the observing, and speaks to his festering desires while playing with his dirty toes.

This little piggy went to market...

This little piggy stayed home...

This little piggy had roast beef...

This little piggy had none.

This little piggy went...

Wee, wee, wee...

All the way home!

WHOOO. HAAAA.

Nothing refreshes quite like creepy crawlies mending your wounds. They take a little piece of you with them, and restore a sharp coherency in exchange. And what is there to occupy the mind while they do their diligent work? But, a reel of Kid Kool attempting to convince himself that he has learned... and that all will be okay. I don't know whether to cheer or vomit. Since vomiting would only cause a maggot feeding frenzy, I shall opt for cheer. I applaud the blind ignorance it takes to ignore your own fear and speak with purpose. Your body coils backward, but your mind, not realizing the full price, bounds onward into the unknown. Ah, to be young and dumb. To punish those around you with constant self reassurance in the face of hell.

Leaning forward with his jaw barely hinged on, Braddock rises from the bath, then sticks his face in direct view.

THIS IS THE FACE YOU WILL REMEMBER. THESE SHARP TEETH, AND THIS CRINKLED NOSE... THESE DEFORMED FEATURES, AND WEAK CRUMBLY BONES. Tactics are for playgrounds, just like the ones in which you hide. But you can't run through the darkness, when it's already inside. My physical nature may make you think, what could he possibly muster... but just as you are weak, you take for granted other worldly bluster. I am not suffering for you to have an opportunity. I endure all of this, because in the end it will provide the remedy. Your endless gums can mock a careless whisper, they can flap until dusk, until onto you at Savage I slither. You HAVEN'T LEARNED. BUT, BOY, YOU WILL. TIME IS YOUR ENEMY, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT BUT TO FEEL. THE COLD ARMS OF TORMENT, WRAPPING YOU LIKE A NEW BORN BABE. IN THE HEAT OF COMPETITION, UNTIL YOU ARE HOLLOW AND SCATHED. Places, they will all escape your memory... things, like being shriveled out of mortality... flap, your gums because my ears like to bleed... eat, a nice pre-match dinner so I may be restored Saturday when on you my swine, I feed.

Braddock flips the television to a side by side view of The Dancing Pig from 1907, and Kid Kool's promotion at a recent XWF event.

Remarkable, isn't it? Oink, oink... kick, kick... oink, oink. You walk into every cliche. You, like the pig, interrupt when you are not wanted... then make a fool of yourself. And like the madam whose brunch was ruined by the swine... I will make you dance around, poking and prodding, until I am satisfied with how little self respect you have left. Shouldn't take long.

He fast forwards to the most disturbing parts of the pig squealing and being made fun of. Braddock let's out a wild outburst.

HHEEEEE. HAAAAA. HEEEE. WHOOOO. YOUUUUUU ARE HIS DOPPLEGANGER! HOW "KOOL" IS THAT. IT IS UNMISTAKABLE. Mistake, what a word to be thrown around. First, your mother. Then, each opponent in this place. Now, the world will follow. There is something to be said for being a joke. The Carrot Top's of the world over... you can be famous for many things. It just so happens that your true point... involves squealing... OINK!

WWWWWHOOO. HAAAA. HEEEE.

ThE WiTcH DoCtOr wraps a torn up brown towel around himself. He turns off the television, and walks off into the darkness, singing.

With an oink oink here... and an oink oink there... here an oink, there an oink... everywhere an oink oink!

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Conclusion |

[[ Oh, I’ll sing of the pig, be he little or big,
For we can’t very well do without him,
Tho’ he cares not a fig to be neat or be trig
And hasn’t much beauty about him.
But there’s meat-juicy meat-and spare ribs so sweet
That many times graces our table,
There’s the head, and the feet, and the carcase complete,
And we oft eat as much as we’re able.
And there’s lard-snowy lard-sometimes soft, sometimes hard,
And we use it when doing our baking.
Oh, the pig is a pard that we cannot discard,
Tho’ sometimes new friends we be making.
But the pig is a friend that will last to the end
Altho’, as I’ve said he’s no beauty,
And to you I can send this good recommend
That he always keeps doing his duty.
He may dig, he may root, and our gardens oft loot,
But that, you must know is his natur’;
We may after him scoot, and threaten the “Brute”
And breathe out bad cess to the cratur’.
But then with a will he will come to us still
And thrive if we give him attention;
If his trough we but fill with plenty of swill
And other good food I might mention.
And if we have cares in our money affairs,
If at any time there is a shortage,
Then the pig nobly shares, and our burden oft bears
And he’s great at reducing a mortgage.
Oh, the pig is a gent, on mischief oft bent,
To take him all through he’s a corker,
But we will repent and lose many a cent
If we ever go back on the porker. ]]

Fade |

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