Please Log-in or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current XWF board time: 01-18-2022, 05:11 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                
X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Warfare Boards » "Wednesday Warfare" RP Board
Post Reply 
The Biggest Dick In the X Motherfucking WF
Author Message
Bobby Bourbon Offline
No Good Bastard

XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)

Post: #1
12-28-2016 10:31 PM

Following Wild Card Weekend, a name made famous prior to WWE Smackdown, yet prior to the retiring of Barney Green at Savage Saturday Night, Chris Chaos and Trax belittled a member of the XWF Universe for merely being a fan of Robbie Bourbon while insisting they had respect for the man.

If you wouldn't be triggered, you wouldn't have a scrotum or a back bone.


There's a pain to being on top.

Not a specifically tangible one, not the kind Robbie Bourbon likes. Knees, head, spine, elbow, knees, fingers, the back, knees, eyes, fingers, knees and toes, knees and Jesus H. Christ how am I supposed to touch my fucking toes now.

Fighting week in, week out, just to fucking do it, because you want to earn money, and you're willing to get it done with the XWF. Not for, with. After all, the better you can make the company, the better it gets for you, right?

Staple. That's what you've become. More than just a man, more than just an attraction, the lifeblood of the XWF.

And I've done more for the company than you.


Vinnie Lane turns to Robbie Bourbon as they both lay out on a sandy gorgeous beach.

I've done everything for this company, including sacrificing my career.

Me too.


Vinnie raies his sunglasses as his eyebrows go cocked as Robbie continues to lay out in the sand, grinning from ear to ear.

You still have a career.


You couldn't beat me.


Yeah, it...


Seriously, if I could come out of retirement, I'd...


I hate you sometimes.


So, you're in a tag match with Shelby against Trax and Chaos.

Sweet. I'm actually being partnered with one of the hottest, smokingest, most attractive women in the XWF against a former Universal Champion and the current Universal Champion. Thanks for the favor.

Hottest? Smokingest? You mean slutty?

Nah. I stood up for Roxy, I stand up for Shelby. Business is business, personal is personal, but hurting a woman for no good reason but caring for you is, shit, even D'Ville and Soldier wouldn't do that.

You mean even you wouldn't do that?

Robbie's smile disappears as he takes his sunglasses off. As his mouth begins to pout, he rolls over and lies on his massive stomach and suns his back. He takes a deep breath and a simple smile crawls across the punam of Robbie Bourbon.

I don't even understand what you mean.

You're cutthroat.


Dude, there's the extreme, and there's cutthroat. Barney Green was Xtreme, you, you're cutthroat. Barney didn't care about the rules because he thought a fair fight had none. You don't care about the rules because you don't believe in a fair fight.


And that's fucking cutthroat. Just sayin'.


Barney Green comes into the screen. He stands over both Robbie and Vinnie, blocking their sun.



What the fuck?

Dude, it's cool.

No, I need my rays!

Oh, poppycock, that's just bluster.

Hi, Vinnie.

Hello, Barney.

Vinnie stands and brushes himself off, the sun beating down on this beautiful tropical beach. He picks a shirt up from the sand and begins to put it on as we see the crowd at the beach, all sitting and relaxing, the occasional go-getter meandering here and there looking for free booze and drugs from sun drenched relaxation enthusiasts. A couple of seagulls are also bouncing about in much the same way, snagging dropped pop corn, french fries, condoms, and any kind of piece of litter you can imagine, including cigarette butts.

Robbie stands as well, a distinct tan line showing around the base of his mask and also outlined on his face as he stands and his face goes from blank to a yawn from standing to looking on at Barney with a cheeky grin.

Well, I'm out of here. You always get into some kind of weird shit, dude, and there are three of us here now, so who knows what the hell could happen, but I have a company to run.

Oh, this was going to be...

No, Robbie, not happening. I do lunch with network execs, that's what I do now. Not get involved with your hijinx.

Okay, okay, I get it. Stay warm.



Vinnie puts ear buds in his ears and begins to jog away from both Robbie and Barney. The gleam Robbie has from being in the sun is more bright red than tan, having gotten sunburnt. Gingers don't do good in the sun, people. Robbie tuns to Barney.

Well, let's ride.

Okay. Where are we going?

Well, we need to go meet up with Shelby. We also gotta go run into my Bourbon Men at some point, because otherwise Blue will start accusing me of not liking any of my old toys after Christmas again.

What toys?

Nothing, Barney, it was a metaphor. Kinda. Anyhow, I figure we'll shoot some footage of us on the road, two men who have fought and spilt each other's blood in that arena, you know.

What arena?

You know, THE arena, where us Xtreme wrestlers all collide in the ring together.

Oh, I'm retired.

Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.

Will Shelby rate my dick?

What? No! What the fuck?

I think she's hot.

She is very, uh, comely, don't get me wrong, but just because you see a beautiful woman doesn't mean...

I can pay her. Hundreds of dollars.

Geez, no! Barney, have you been...

I pay women to rate my penis.

What the fuck? Come on, dude, you need to save your money, you're retired now, what happens if you go into massive debt, what are you going to do, start hitting people up on the internet for money to pay your bills?

I dunno. I'll pay you too.

I don't want you to pay me to rate your cock.


Barney whips his pants down around his ankles.

So it's free?

Robbie wretches and starts to facepalm.

Pull your fucking pants up, Barney, we have shit to do.


Barney pulls his pants up. As he does, the camera pans to show the A-Team Van painted to look like the Ghostbusters car. Suddenly, in a flash, and an extremely loud bang, the van explodes! Glass, chunks of metal, and other detritus are cast as shrapnel upon the detonation. Robbie and Barney both stand still, unflinching, as people on the beach and those walking on the sidewalk all panic and scream in horror. Years of hardcore, street rules, deathmatch bloodbaths have left both men tempered and nonplussed by the blast. Robbie's unsunburnt parts turn beat red.


Robbie looks less than pleased. Mortars and other projectiles begin to shoot out from the car, almost like fireworks are going off nonstop. The report of a bandolier of firecrackers fills the air with it's telltale rat-tat-tat-tat sound of a Tommy Gun from early gangster films. Bottle rockets whistle off in random directions, occasionally pinging passersby. A mortar fires straight at both Robbie and Barney as it hits Robbie dead in the side of his skull and ricochets skyward, detonating in a fascinating and wondrous golden plume that slowly cascaded onto the street.


What's so funny about my ride blowing up! Someone is out to kill me! Vinnie was right, wiggy shit starts to happen when I hang out with you fuckers.

I blew up your car.


Robbie turns to face Barney.

Gaylord paid me to do it. He wanted your car to get destroyed because you Robbiebombed me into his.

I'm really glad I did right about now.

Don't worry.

What? How the fuck can you say don't worry? That was our ride!

I'm an evil man with good intentions.

So? I'm a good man with a heart of frozen stone, we all have our own personalities! You blew up my fucking ride, plus the five hundred dollars worth of fireworks I go everywhere with!

As Robbie hollers this, a thing, I guess, pulls up on the street in front of Robbie and Barney. It could be a truck or a van of some sort, but it's completely covered with a sheet. How the driver got it here without wrecking is a mystery.

I got you something new, I'm on pension now.

Barney grabs the sheet and yanks it off, revealing a Donkey Kong rape van.

[Image: dk_hotwheels.jpg?w=249&h=249&crop=1]

[Image: DtUCPfZ.png]
[Image: YrieUVE.png]
Edit Hate Post Like Post Reply Quote
[-] Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates Bobby Bourbon's post!
Peter Fn Gilmour (12-29-2016)
Post Reply 

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Place marker: Last RP of week
 That Motherfucking Bastard
Bobby Bourbon 0 187 11-16-2021 11:39 PM
Last Post: Bobby Bourbon
  The Biggest Of Thunder Mountains Centurion 0 178 07-20-2021 05:49 PM
Last Post: Centurion
  The biggest dog in the yard drezdin5788 0 360 02-04-2019 10:21 PM
Last Post: drezdin5788
  Slaying one of the biggest, baddest of them all. Talia Areano 0 533 02-06-2017 08:59 PM
Last Post: Talia Areano

User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)