Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

**Vincent Lane** · (12-19-2016)

DECEMBER 17TH, 2016

LIVE from the Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia, XWF brings to you SAVAGE SATURDAY NIGHT!

GET HYPE!!!

Benito Angelo
- vs -
"The 4-20 Kid" Aldo Nardozzi

Shelby Cobra
- vs -
Shandell Jones

Trios Cubed
Kid Kool, Broken Hart, & Snow
- vs -
Drezdin, Liyanna Properchev, & Nami
- vs -
Brandon Moore, David Stone, & Ronnie Cage
"Havoc"
Triple Threat Trios Match - Single Fall

Robbie Bourbon
- vs -
Barney Green
Last Man Standing

Television Championship Match
Thomas Nixon
- vs -
"The Radical" Gabe Reno

Dolly Waters
- vs -
Chris Chaos
Champion vs. Champion Non-Title Match

The camera swoops around the sold out crowd in the coliseum before settling on Gaylord and Mike at the announce booth.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Richmond Virginia... WE ARE IN YOU!!!!

Mike Stump: Dude...

Cockshafer: Savage is all up in them guts tonight, and we don't have a second to waste.... let's take it straight to the ring!!!

Tig O'Bitties-"The following match is for one fall. Making his way to the ring, from Rome, Italy. Standing at Six Two and weighting in at 228 pounds. "The 4-20 Kid" Aldo Nardozzi!"

Aldo walks out onto the stage with a blunt in his mouth after his music plays for 12 seconds. He looks at the crowd and stretchs his arms out while fireworks go off around him. He then walks to the ring and jumps through the ropes. He then climbs up to the top rope, blows smoke into the air, and tosses the blunt into the crowd. For some reason. David Mosier was in the crowd and was able to catch the blunt. He smiled and waved to his fellow stoner before taking a fat drag from it and passing it along. Everyone puffed it twice and passed it til it was gone.

Tig O'Bitties-"And his opponent, from New York, New York, standing at Five Eleven and weighting in at 206 pounds. Representing PATROL, he is one third of the Trio champions. BENITO ANGELO!."

Benito made his way out from the back and down the ramp carrying the his Trio belt over his shoulder. He walked up the steps and through the ropes. He leans on the ring post as he waits for the match to start.

Mika Hunt goes to the center of the ring and waves over both the men. She has a mic in hand and looks at both of them with a glare. Showing she was in charge.

Mika Hunt-"Alright fuckers. I want a good clean match. If I catch you cheating. You get one warning and only one, after that. You get my boot up your ass and DQ'ed. Understood?"

Both men nodded, Mika looked satisfied. Benito handed her his title and she gave it to one of the ring people who placed it by the time keeper Nipsey Russell. She gave him the signal for the bell. Which he smiled widely before striking the bell with his little hammer.

DING DING.

Aldo and Benito sized each other up, circling the ring for a few moments before they both tied up, both men were fighting for the upper hand, the struggle was real but Aldo being taller got the Trio champ in a side headlock. He locked it in tight and squeezed it hard. Benito struggled to get loose but the stoner wasn't going to let go. This only pissed The Italian off, not liking the pain, the Trio champ started to elbow the fuck out of Aldo's stomach. BAM BAM BAM!!! Aldo had no choice but to let go, Benito grabbed Aldo's arm and Irish whipped him into the ropes, Aldo hit them and on the rebound, Benito dropkicked him in the face. Aldo went down, Benny got up quickly, mounted his fallen opponent and started to unleash a fury of punches to the face. Benito cocked his arm back for one final blow, but Aldo gave Benny a thumb to the eye which caused him enough pain to get off of him and roll around holding his eye. Mika Hunt didn't see it. She thought Aldo had punched Benito.

Gaylord Cockshafer-"What a dirty move!"

Mike Stump-"Dirty? Or smart?"

Aldo got up to his feet and touched his face to make sure he wasn't bleeding. He wasn't. He walked over to Benito and brought him up, he gave Benito a head-butt which rocked him hard. As Benito stumbled backwards. Aldo ran and hit the ropes before coming back to Benito. Aldo spun in mid run and nearly took the head of off the Trio champ with a Discus Clothesline! Benito flipped in mid air before crashing hard on the mat below. Aldo fell to one knee as he used the ropes to get a breather. Benito felt as if he was had gotten him by a Mack Truck. Aldo finally was able to catch his breath before standing up. He grabbed Benito and brought him up to stand with him. The 420 Kid reached back his arm to smash Benito with a punch but Benito catch the fist of Aldo! The Mafia man pulled Aldo in close, lifted him up and slammed him down! Sitout Spinebuster!. Aldo's body bounced off of the canvas from the impact. Benny boy leaned forwards and draped his over Aldo. Mika Hunt went for the count.

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE-KICKOUT!!!

Gaylord Cockshafer-"Nearly got him! So close."

Mike Stump-"Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades Gaylord."

Aldo was able to get his shoulder up just in time. Benito was not too happy about that, he got to his feet but Aldo had rolled out of the ring out of Benito grasp, he tried to get out of the ring, but Mika Hunt stopped him. Aldo was laying on the floor, his arm was under the apron of the ring, Aldo felt something hard, his showed like he recognized the texture of the object he was touching, he took hold of it and pulled out it from the bottom of the ring. It was a glass bong!

Mike Stump-"A bong!?"

Gaylord Cockshafer-"I think that's David Mosier's bong."

Mike Stump-"Well Aldo is having a field day with it."

Aldo's eyes widen with glee, the bowl was even packed! This was a find indeed, he pulled out a lighter from his boot and took a fat rip from the bong. Benito was arguing with Mika telling her she should start counting, Aldo was coughing harshly from the weed. It was some good shit, he looked over the bong, it had a sticker on it that read. "Property of D.Shadows" Aldo took another rip from the bong of destiny and he milked the fuck out of it and cleared it. Benito had enough and got pass Mika Hunt and got through the ropes. Aldo saw this and unleashed a dragon smoke attack from his lungs. The cloud was so thick Benito started to cough, he got back in the ring as he was choking on the smoke. Aldo set the bong down and climbed up on the apron and set his sights on Benito, The high as fuck dude pulled on the ropes to launch himself up onto them before jumping into the air, as he flew he smacked Benito in the face with a flying Elbow Smash! DINK! He cracked Benito skull with such force that his forehead was busted wide open.

Gaylord Cockshafer-"Benito is wearing a crimson mask now!"

Mike Stump-"Well I guess wobs even bleed red."

Both men were down. Mika Hunt looked at the two and noticed they weren't moving. She started the count.

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE-Benito and Aldo were started to move now.

SIX

SEVEN-Aldo got to one knee, Benito was still hurt but he too go to one knee as well.

EIGHT

NINE

TE-Both men sprung up and attacked each with fist of fury!

Mike Hunt-"They are going all out! No holding back!"

Gaylord Cockshafer-"Who is going to come out on top!?"

Then suddenly, as it looks that Benito is taking control of the exchange, Aldo spins around and clutches at his face, pointing at his eye!

The referee checks on him, and Benito stands back looking bemused.

Cockshafer: Looks like The Kid might have taken a thumb to the eye, I'm sure it was an accident...

Then, while the ref is still looking at Aldo's eye, Aldo swings his leg backward hard! He catches Benito right in the Italian Meatballs!

Benito crumples up and falls to his knees, giving Aldo all he needs to quickly hit the ropes...

SEI FOTTUTO!!!!

Aldo's knee catches Benito Angelo right in the temple, and the Trios Champ goes down in a heap!

1!

2!

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner by Pinfall - "The 4-20 Kid" Aldo Nardozzi

Stump: That sneaky bastard...

Cockshafer: Hold on Mike, I'm getting notified that Steve Sayors is in the back with a new signee to the XWF!

The X-TRON reveals STEVE SAYORS backstage.

SAYORS: Ladies and gentlemen, making his return to the XWF...the Prince of Pranks, KILLJOY.

The crowd responds quite positively as KILLJOY enters the frame. Amidst the chants of "Welcome Back! Welcome Back!" KILLJOY grabs SAYORS around the shoulder and pulls him close.

KILLJOY: Steve Speak and Sayors! As I live and breathe. How the heck are ya buddy?

SAYORS: *understandably surprised* I'm...I'm great.

KJ: You know, this might come as a shock to a lot of folks, but I honestly missed you. I mean, considering I have made a career out of popping egos and keeping people humble through the medium of pranks, it warms my heart to know that there is at least one guy out there who will never, ever have an ego. Don't ever change Speak and SAYORS, never change...

The crowd takes its cue to laugh at STEVE's expense.

SS: *regaining his composure despite having had his hopes and dreams of being treated with respect dashed yet again* Why come back to the XWF KILLJOY? What is there left for the Prince of Pranks to do here?

KJ: I am so glad you asked Speak and SAYORS! But in order for me to spread the word I'm going to need your help. **KILLJOY reaches off screen** I need you to take off that suit jacket and put this on over there *motions off camera* and when I give you your cue come back. I know you can do that, following stage directions is one of your few actual talents. KILLJOY pushes what looks like a folded t-shirt into STEVE's hands and pushes him off-camera.

KJ: Kids, you all know me. The sole reason I exist is to entertain you all. I live and breath to make you laugh at the misfortune of others, others who have allowed their egos and sense of superiority control them. I am happy to provide this vital service to mankind, and expect little in return...

...until now.

*A rare look of seriousness, tinged with just a bit of anger cross KILLJOY's face*

KJ: As I wandered the highways and byways of this ball of mud and water speeding through the cosmos I stumbled into the venerable XWF Corporate HQ. As I mingled with the secretary pool and rubbed elbows with the grunt workers who, for the record, do not get nearly enough props for keeping the house shows, TV shows and PPVs running I came across...it.

There, sitting on the wall behind a velvet rope with security guards and dogs and lasers and spotlights was a huge wall plaque. And on that wall plaque along the very top were the words XWF Top 50.

The crowd cheers at the mention of the list to end all lists...

KJ: I scanned through the names on that list of what, I assumed, were the top 50 men/women/miscellaneous individuals who have competed in this company. The top 50 people who you people *crowd cheers* feel are some of the greatest this company has ever seen. 50 people who have given their blood, sweat, tears and other fluids to make you people happy. And you know what I saw there? or maybe I should say, what I didn't see?

...
...
...

...me.

*the crowd boos, clearing seeing the genuine disappointment on the Prince of Prank's face*

KJ: I mean I can understand if this was based entirely on titles. I mean...sure...I've been a tag champion, and I held the World championship for a week. I was a GM at one point, though admittedly that particular time in my life is a bit fuzzy. I like to think that most, if not all, of the wrestlers tolerated me. maybe some liked me, maybe some hated me, but at least none of them sent hitmen or assassins or stuff like that after me. That was a big thing back then you know...hiring goons to go after guys after the show. If you don't believe me just ask SHANE MeatCARVER...he'll vouch.

Now, I am not the kind of guy to complain about 'spots' or "losing my spot". I don't in my mind that every single person on that list as it stands deserves to be on it and their position was determined by minutes and minutes of thought by the head honchos. But I'd like to think I have earned at least a little nod, even a little post-script at the bottom. A little...well...recognition.

KILLJOY suddenly breaks into a big, slightly unhinged grin

And that is where all you kids out there come in. If it is one thing that the most corporate of corporate critters cannot handle, it is a world-wide movement. What with the era of the interwebs and tweeting and face-whatever all it takes is a whole lot of passionate people, a bit of ingenuity, a friend that can mass produce clothing and a snappy catchphrase. And so, I present to you all...

KILLJOY lunges off-screen and pulls a disheveled STEVE SAYORS back into view. Stretched tightly across his chest is a moderately inexpensive t-shirt, in the same dark purple color scheme the Prince of Pranks wears so well. Across the front in hot pink lettering is:

#KJXWFT51

KJ: Hashtag KILLJOY XWF Top 51! I don't care if it is a piece of paper taped to the bottom of the list or a complete recasting of that gaudy metal abomination at corporate headquarters. I will not be happy until my name is at the bottom of that list, even if I have to scratch it on there with a nail or in my own blood.

...and they make great Christmas gifts!

KILLJOY bends down and lifts up a huge box stuffed to overflowing with similar shirts.

KJ: Remember kids, #KJXWFT51. Get your shirts now! Spread the word. Tell them you want to see KILLJOY on the list! That was #KJXWFT51. And now if you excuse me...I have some propaganda to spread! Hoo hah!

And with that KILLJOY races off, leaving STEVE SAYORS looking vacant. He tries to struggles out of the shirt, when KILLJOY racing back.

KJ: Don't you dare take that shirt off! If you take that off I will find you...and I will prank you.

The Prince of Pranks makes the *I have my eyes on you* hand gesture as he slowly slides off-camera. All SAYORS can do is whimper...

Cockshafer: Excuse my colleague, he has a level 5 case of C.Diff and will be enjoying our next match from the nearest toliet. We have an exciting bout featuring 2 up and comers here in XWF.

California Love by Tupac plays as Shandell makes his way to the ring to a suprising big pop.

California Love fades as Welcome to the Jungle by Guns n’ Roses signals the entrance to Shelby Cobra.

The bell rings and both competitors lock the collar and elbow tie-up, with Shandell getting the strength advantage, pushing Shelby into the corner. The ref begins the mandatory five count.

1...

2...

3...

4...

Shandell breaks and Shelby catches him with a stiff right, backing away Shandell and connecting again with a kick to the gut. Shelby sets Shandell for an Irish whip but is reversed, Shelby bounces off the ropes and leaps over Shandell as he ducks. Another rebound by Shelby, but this time slides underneath Shandell, springs to her feet and levels him with a drop kick.

Shandell copies Shelby, dropping her with his drop kick. Both athletes quickly get to their feet and hit with a series of arm drags and hip tosses. Shelby attempts a super kick Shandell ducks and tries a kick of his own, but Shelby ducks as well. The two stare each other down before locking up a second time.

Again, Shandell gains the advantage, clutching Shelby in a hammerlock but quickly reversed as Shelby counters with her own hammerlock and follows with a leg trip and a pin.

1.......

2......

Nooooo, Shandell kicks out and quickly rolls him up in a small package.

1....

2...

No. Shelby shifts the balance of the pin and puts Shandell's shoulders to the mat.

1....

2....

Kick out by Shandell. He tries to get to his feet but is met with a Shining Wizard by Shelby and his face hits the mat. Shelby methodically circles his foe and stomps on the back of Shandell, who shows pain with every impact. Shelby then picks up Shandell and sets him in the corner.

The fans come alive as they WOOOOO with the first chop by Shelby.

WOOOOO, a second chop.

WHOOOO, a third, followed by a fourth, a fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and finally a tenth being a opened handed slap to the face. He made a mistake as Shandell throws Shelby in the corner and unloads a barrage of body shots follow up with a whip to the opposite corner and a huge splash.

Shelby falls to the ground and Shandell drops a heavy elbow on the back of Shelby. Shandell sits in a camel clutch but Shelby shows great ring awareness by placing her foot on the bottom rope.

Rope Break

Both men are back at their feet as the crowd at applauds their efforts. Shandell kicks Shelby in the gut and puts a high knee to Shelby's face and finishes up with a Russian leg sweep. He then ascends to the top rope and attempts a leg drop but fails as Shelby moves out the way. Shelby kips up and blisters Shandell's chest with buzzsaw-like kicks, very reminiscent of Yoshihiro Tajiri. The crowd counts as the kicks connect.

1
2
3
4
5,6,7,8,9,10.

Shelby then switches and it up to the back and the crowd again counts the kicks.

1
2
3
4
5,6,7,8,9,10.

Shelby then bounces off the ropes and foes for a face kick but Shandell lays back and kips up. Shelby ricochets of the ropes and is met with an axe kick. Shelby holds her face as Shandell plays the crowd, signaling the end. He sets up for the.......

Shelby somehow counters as she tries for her finisher but fails.

Mike Stump, fresh from being assited in the men's room, rolls back up to the announce booth.

Stump: What the... THAT'S SEXUAL ASSAULT!!!

In the ring, Shandell Jones has grabbed Shelby Cobra by her impressive breasts... and he's twisting the shit out of her nips!

Shelby's face contorts with pain, and it's all the opening Jones needs to grabs her by the dome and hit...

CALIFORNIA DOPE!!!!

Shandell drills the facebuster and goes for a cover!

1!

2!

3!!!!!!!

Winner by pinfall - Shandell Jones

Cockshafer: Jones might want to get far away from Cobra before she comes to her senses! Those succulent fun bags are bound to be tender!

Stump: Right. Because you like pussy. Same here, obvi.

Earlier this morning, before anyone except the janitorial staff had arrived at the Richmond Coliseum, three men wearing all black and ski masks broke into the building. They roamed the hallways looking for something. They stopped in front of a locker room reserved for one of the wrestlers fighting tonight. The nameplate on the door said Nami. One of them rubbed his hands together.

"This is gonna be good! Let's get this door off. Doucheman, get a hammer and nail out of the bag and get tew work."

The man, referred to as 'Doucheman' turns to the third man.

"Sheesh. Is he always this bossy?"

The third man shrugs.

"This is his thing, so let's just follow his lead on this one."

Doucheman opens a black gym bag and takes out a hammer and a nail and places the nail below one of the door hinges and hammers it a few times. The first man holds the door shut, while the third man pulls the hinge pin out. They repeat the same steps until the door is off its hinges. The first man, Mr. Bossy Pants, takes the door and walks into the locker room. He leans the door against the wall, and then just goes to town on the locker room, as his pals follow suit. They just absolutely destroy the place, as if a hurricane had just passed through. When they're done wrecking the place, they decide to hide, so they can lie in wait and see the reaction from poor Nami.

Hours pass, and other staff and wrestlers begin to show up. Nami arrives at her locker room, shocked and confused to find that her door is missing. But when she steps into the room, she's horrified to see what's happened. Suddenly the men pop out, and the third man hits Nami in the face with a left-footed superkick. He rips off his mask revealing himself to be David Stone, one of Nami's opponents for the night. Which must mean, you guessed it, the other two men appear beside David, without their masks. They are Brandon Moore and Ronnie Cage. The three men begin to kick Nami repeatedly. Brandon crouches down sitting on Nami's oversized tits, puts his face right up to hers and screams incoherent profanities in her face. Ronnie takes a couple nails and a hammer and as soon as Brandon steps off of Nami, Ronnie hammers a nail into each of Nami's huge knockers. There's blood everywhere. David finally, kicks Nami so hard in the face that she gets knocked out.[/i]

"I think our work here is done, boys."

"Not yet, David. One more thing we've got tew dew."

Ronnie takes the locker room door that had been leaning against the wall, and smears Nami's blood on it. He then takes a sharpie from his pocket and writes 'Nami big-tittied fucking pirate' on it. He picks the door up and the three men leave the room, while Nami lies unconscious in a pool of her own blood.

Savage fades to commercial.

When we come back, all nine competitors for the trios triple threat are already in the ring.

The final music dies and the crowd hushes. Nami, Drezdin and Properchev have their heads together in one corner, Havoc stand in another smirking and soaking in the hatred from the crowd and Snow, KK and Broken Heart glare at Havoc from their corner. As each team discuss tactics in the final seconds, Ronnie Cage can be seen holding the blood covered door which he and Havoc dismantled earlier.

All 9 combatants are in the ring as the bell sounds. Properchev, Snow and Brandon are starting things off for their teams.

Mike: “And we’re off. Looks like the 2 ladies are ganging up on Brandon Moore in the early going.”

The 2 women start whaling away on Brandon, connecting with a series of punches and slaps before Properchev whips Moore off the ropes. Snow attempts a clothesline but Brandon applies the breaks and ducks, bouncing off the ropes himself and connecting a double clothesline of his own. All 3 are up quickly though and Brandon steps back to watch as the 2 women exchange a series of technical counters. Suplex by Properchev blocked by Snow and countered with a headlock.

Gaylord: “Very technical start by the 2 ladies early here Mike.”

Mike: “They can practice their technique on me any time they like.”

Meanwhile Snow takes Liyanna down with a Russian leg sweep and looks for the pin but Brandon breaks it up with a kick to the head before the official can even count to 1. All 3 decide to make a tag and in come Ronnie Cage, Kid Kool and Drezdin.

The big man goes on the offence, tossing KK around like a rag doll with Ronnie doing what he does best, taking the occasional cheap shot at both while their backs are turned. Drezdin looks to go for a big boot on KK after a whip to the ropes but the smaller man ducks and Drezdin crotches himself on the top rope.

Gaylord: “Wow, Drezdin’s going to be singing soprano after that one.”

KK meanwhile bounces off the far ropes and hits a flying forearm on Cage. He drops an elbow and then picks Cage up. Staggering the Arkansas native with a punch to the jaw, he looks to go for a cradle suplex. The ring shakes with the impact as KK connects the move and bridges for the pin. The ref slides in and slaps the matt once, twice, but no! Cage rolls a shoulder! The smaller man gets to his feet, clearly frustrated that he couldn’t get the quick pin. He looks to toss Cage into his corner where Snow is desperately reaching out for a tag however Ronnie reverses, tossing Kool into Havoc’s corner where he follows up with a corner clothesline before tagging Stone in.

Stone comes in, cocky smirk planted firmly across his face and picks up his opponent before planting a left hand to his gut. As Kid kool doubles over, Stone connects with a left foot to the same gut and then hits an even flow DDT before Tagging in Moore.

Meanwhile, Drezdin has recovered from the blow to his family jewels and tags in Nami, who still looks frankly battered from the attack by Havoc earlier. She rushes in only to be taken down by a spear from Stone before he tosses her out of the ring and makes his way back to the outside himself. Brandon though is continuing the assault on Kid Kool. He lands a German suplex and goes for the pin. At 2, Broken heart violates the ring and breaks up the pin. The masked warrior looks to connect with a punch to Brandon but Moore ducks and the ref sends BH back to his corner. This however gives KK the opportunity he’s looking for and having recovered, he waits for Brandon to face him yet again. That done KK connects with a brutal looking roundhouse kick to the head and then goes up top.

Mike: “Kid Kool looking for a high risk move here. Will it pay off?”

Kid Kool takes a deep breath and then leaps. He crashes and burns as Brandon Moore rolls out of the way! Both men get to their feet and make a tag as Properchev jumps down and slaps Nami on the back, making the tag herself. Properchev, Cage and Broken Heart enter the ring and the 2 men tie up, jockeying for position. It’s Cage who gets the better position though and pushes Broken Heart against the ropes. Cage releases at the ref’s count of 4 before connecting with a couple of vicious chops to the chest. He looks to whip Heart across the ring but Heart counters, slamming on the breaks and connects with a series of chops of his own. He then forces Cage back with a series of punches to the jaw, staggering Ronnie. Heart leaps and connects with a Hurricarana and attempts a pin but Properchev breaks it up.

Liyanna tosses Hart out onto the floor and then turns to her own corner... she's talking shit to her partner Nami!

"Nami u dum slut bitch whole my titz is bigr than u is!"

Nami reaches out and slaps Liyanna across the face!

Stump: That's a legal tag!

Liyanna is still recoiling from the slap as Nami charges into the ring, and...

JUST

PLAIN

BETTER!!!

Brandon Moore shouts the words as he hops up the ropes and slams into Nami with a moonsault! He has her hooked!

1!

2!

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Broken Hart dives on top of Moore but it's too late, the match is over!!!

Winners by pinfall - Brandon Moore, Ronnie Cage, David Stone - HAVOC

Tig O'Bitties stands with the official in the center of the ring as she's ready to announce the next match.

Tig O'Bitties: The following contest is a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH!!

Tig O'Bitties: Introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts! Weighing in at 350 pounds! He is the XWF Xtreme Legend.... BARNEY GREEN!!!![/color]

"Dirty Angel'" by Voodoo Johnson starts to play throughout the arena as fans start to cheer loudly. Out walks Barney Green, dressed in a black and gold Bruins jersey with black shorts with a gold stripe on the sides and no shoes. Green walks down to the ring as the fans cheer him. He high fives a few fans as he makes his way towards the ring. He enters the ring and blows the fans a kiss as the music fades.

A series of fireworks fire off on the stage as Robbie's music starts to play throughout the arena. Across the X-Tron, we see the exact same thing as what is traditionally used as Robbie Bourbon's banner on the XWF website as Robbie and his Bourbon-Men step out.

Tig O'Bitties: His opponent, hailing from Alexandria, Virginia! Being accompanied to the ring by the Bourbon-Men. Robbie Bourbon!!!![/color]

He raises his arms to 45 degree angles and starts to calmly walk down to the ring, taking his time to get there. He climbs the ring steps, stands on the apron, and turns his back to the ring, instead flipping backwards over the top rope. He then spins, hops on the second turnbuckle, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles again.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Ya know, Mike, these two men have a lot to show for this match here. Robbie already making a name for himself in this company and Barney Green being the XWF Legend that he is. I see a lot of potential in this one.

Mike Stump: I have to agree with you, Gaylord. Two big guys like this are surely going to bring the walls down.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Let's just hope they leave it one piece! We still have a lot of action to cover tonight!

The two big men stand and face each other from across the ring. The intensity in Barney Green's eyes is greater than two laser beams piercing out from them. Robbie Bourbon has a smirk on his face as he cracks his knuckles and the two stomp to the center of the ring and lock up!

The two sway back and forth with neither getting the upper-hand and let go. They go to lock up again, but Barney buries an elbow in the side of Bourbon's face and wraps him in a headlock! Robbie bounces him off the ropes and pushes Barney off! It's like there was no momentum behind the push as Barney on takes three steps before stopping and turning around! Bourbon is ready for him though and slams into him with a big forearm and Barney stumbles back and falls between the ropes!

Mike Stump: Holy hell!! Did you feel that?

Barney crashes straight to the floor completely missing the ring apron on his way out! Bourbon throws his arms up and the Bourbon-Men on the outside do the same and cheer. Lucky for Barney Green, this commotion is taking place on the opposite side of the ring from him. Bourbon meets Barney on the outside and throws him into the ring steps! Barney, instead of taking the steps to the back, tries sliding across them like the Duke's of Hazard. It doesn't work out for him and his skids across it before he falls off the top with the top step falling on top of him. He takes it like a champ and throws the steps off of him like it was a pillow and stands back up just to take more punches from Robbie Bourbon. Barney just huffs and puffs and shakes off each punch as if they didn't even face him. Always back to a cold stare to Robbie Bourbon as if he was waiting for the next punch! After a few, Barney starts hitting back with some back wrist chops to Bourbon's chest! Bourbon shakes them off as well! Back and forth the men go on the outside of the ring until Bourbon kicks Barney straight-between the legs!!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: Ouch!

Mike Stump: Don't worry! I don't think there's much there!

Barney just stands there for a moment and then screams! He grabs Bourbon by the head and charges ahead and slams Bourbon right into the ring post!! Robbie's head bounces off of it like a basketball, but he just stumbles back and remains on his feet! Barney then charges him, but Bourbon catches him!! It's like slow motion!!! Robbie slowly picks up Barney Green and power slams him in front of the ramp!! It's as if the entire arena shook when those two men slammed into the ground!

Mike Stump: I definitely felt something THAT time!

Gaylord Cockshafer: This two men wasted no time taking this match outside of the ring! Who knows where we'll end up or what these guys will go through when it's all said and done?!

Back to real-time now! Bourbon takes a knee and begins landing blows right into Barney's skull! One after another Bourbon lands a punch and Barney just lays there and takes it. Finally, the referee steps in and stops Robbie from dishing out any more punishment to a defenseless opponent. Robbie stands up and holds his arms into the air as the referee is checking on the fallen Barney Green. The Bourbon-Men have began to travel to the entrance way to meet their boss. The referee then begins his count!

One! Two!! Three!!!! Four!!!

Barney's eyes open! Five!!

Robbie Bourbon is now in the ring while his Bourbon men have began to stir around the entrance where Barney Green is coming back to life. Six!!!

Barney is now up to his hands and knees!! Seven!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: What are the Bourbon-Men up to? This could be the end for Barney Green if they step in!

Bourbon yells out to his Bourbon-Men to give the man some air, as they do, and Robbie steps out of the ring to help Barney back to his feet! Barney begins jabbing Robbie in the stomach! Bam! Bam!! BAM!! One after another and another in the face! Bourbon tries to attack back with a big haymaker, but Barney ducks out of the way like a 1981 Olympic Wrestling Gold Metalist and slaps on the GREEN DREAM!!!

Mike Stump: Green Dream!! Green Dream!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: Robbie Bourbon is in trouble!

The two men flail around as Barney completely locks it in and pulls Robbie to the floor! The Bourbon-Men gather, scratch their heads, and worry about this outcome!!! Barney continues to apply the pressure until the referee notices Bourbon no longer putting up a fight now! He calls for Barney to release the hold, but Barney refuses! Barney blurts out something to the referee that made absolutely no sense, which made the official question his own life for a moment, until he finally stepped in and forced the hold to be released. Barney finally gave in and stood up. He stared down the Bourbon-Men across the aisle and took a few steps back to catch his breath. One!

Two!! Three!! The Bourbon-Men can't stand seeing their boss on the floor, they all travel over to him and help him to his feet!

Mike Stump: It's ALWAYS good to have some back up!

Gaylord Cockshafer: A one hundered percent unfair advantage in the favor of Robbie Bourbon in this one! The Bourbon-Men stepping in and assisting their boss to his feet before the referee even gets half-way through the count! Get them guys out of here!

Mike Stump: In circumstances like this, Cockshafer, they're as welcome at ringside as WE are! Jesus Christ, look at Green right now... He's giving me the chills!

Barney begins to laugh an evil laugh that's so evil that it scares every human child, teen, or adult within range of him. Bourbon catches his bearings pretty quickly and stretches out his arm and neck as the official steps to check-in with him after he was helped to his feet. He then warns the Bourbon-Men to step back and let the match happen or they're gone, but before he can truly get his warning across, Barney Green attacks them! One-by-one, Barney takes them down and then goes after Bourbon! The referee doesn't know what to do, but to get out of the way! The two men fight up the ramp and up to the stage where they go back and forth with punches! Barney manages to get an upper hand and grabs Bourbon by his mask! He lands a big knee to his forehead!

Gaylord Cockshafer: Barney Green has had enough and he's cleaning house! This match is barely a match, folks! It's been a straight brawl back and forth!

Mike Stump: A tale of GODDAMN survival in Green's case!

Barney shoves Bourbon's head under his arm and plants him with a a big DDT on the stage! Bourbon rolls to his back and holds his head, while Barney limps over and drops a big elbow on the neck and chest and abdomen of Robbie Bourbon! The XWF Legend springs up to his feet like half-dead overweight feline and drops another! How is the XWF stage holding up under this ungodly pressure?! The Bourbon-Men are being chased backstage by the referee, who are all still down by the ring. They take the scenic route, beside the ramp and down alongside of the stage. The official finally makes his way up the ramp where the competitors are, Bourbon is still on the ground as Barney is is still climbing to his feet after the second big elbow drop. As Barney reaches down to grab Robbie to lift him up, Bourbon jabs Barney in the eye with his thumb. Barney jumps back and attempts to blink back his vision as Robbie reaches his feet. Robbie slams a big forearm down onto Barney's back, but Barn-o is unphased and continues rise up. Robbie looks down from the stage and makes eye-contact with his Bourbon-Men who have been really taking their time reaching the back stage area. The area isn't very open, the sound system is over there and about a hundred crates are stacked up on one another.

Gaylord Cockshafer: They're messing around awfully close to the edge there!

Mike Stump: Look at that! Down below the stage!

Gaylord Cockshafer: The Bourbon-Men are still lingering around the ringside area, folks! The official in this match did his best to clear them out and get this match under control, but it looks like they're doing everything they can to stay in the viscinity of their fearless leader!

Bourbon swings and it gets blocked by Barney! Barney swings back and sends Bourbon backstepping! He teeders back and forth on the edge of the stage as the official, the Bourbon-Men and all the little Bourbon-Men throughout the arena and all cringe!! Barney lunges at Robbie and both men fly from the stage and down to the floor! Well, not to the floor, Bourbon sailed down and landed on his Bourbon-Men. They did their best to catch him, but they did a better job at just breaking his fall. Barney landed in a stack of those heavy black crates for sound equipment and a huge pyramid of them landed on him as well! The entire arena is up in arms as the referee forgets his job for a minute before starting a double-count!

Mike Stump: HOLY SHIT!! THIS BUILDING IS COMING DOWN!! The tremors are getting bigger, Cockshafer!

Gaylord Cockshafer: These two men are going through HELL right now! Get some help out here!

Mike Stump: I can't even see Green! Where the hell did he go?!

Gaylord Cockshafer: Buried in that equipment, Mike! He's gotta be out cold in there! This match has to be over!

ONE!!! TWO!!!

ALL men appear to be out! Barney can't be seen in the wreckage, Robbie lies motionless on his Bourbon-Men, and the Bourbon-Men lie motionless under Robbie! It looks like a bomb went off! THREE!! FOUR!!!

FIVE!! A couple Bourbon-Men start to stir under Robbie, as well as their boss who lies on top of them. SIX! One of them manage to pull themselves out from under the big man and starts shaking and tapping his boss on the side of the head trying to revive him! SIX!!! SEVEN!!

Robbie finally comes-to and slowly reaches his knees!! EIGHT!! Robbie picks up one knee!!

NINE!!!

Robbie reaches his feet!! He staggers back and forth for a moment, before the stack of creates that buried Barney Green blast everywhere like an explosion!

Mike Stump: No way!

Gaylord Cockshafer: You have to be kidding!

Barney green rides a HUGE and what would have to be an EXTREMELY durable crate on wheels! Barney looks like a deer in headlights!! Barney screams like a warrior as the crate plows through the pile of Bourbon-Men and hits Robbie straight on! The huge crate doesn't lose momentum and continues to go full force backstage with Robbie on the front and Barney on top!! Securtiy men and personel scramble as they seen this superheavyweight train of destruction barreling their way. The two-person crate crashes back stage and the two huge men go flying off of it. They crawl away from the wreckage, there were a few others that didn't manage to get out of the way quick enough... Now the EMTs that were on site are tending to them and in all in our competitors way. The official hasn't made his way around to where the two are yet, he either had to follow them the way they went or through the entrance way on the stage. Either way, it would take him a moment.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Let's just hope neither of these men gain an opportunity here! The official is still catching up to these guys!

The camera man follows closely behind Barney, who follows closely behind Bourbon out into a hallway. Barney lands a big double axe-handle onto the back of Robbie sending him flying through a door on he opposite side of the hall. They're in a small, empty room, what appears to be an office with a desk and small couch. A TV is on in the corner displaying exactly what we the fans are looking at as well. Barney becomes mesmerized by it for a moment, punching Bourbon in the head and watching it on the television. Bourbon takes advantage of the distraction and attacks back! The official is seen running by the room and stops in his tracks once he finds the competitors! Bourbon throws Barney in to the couch and it implodes from the impact when Barney lands on it! Bourbon slowly walks over to the small water cooler and pulls the near-full jug of water from the top of it and walks over to Barney. Bourbon holds the jug upside down over Barney's head and empties the water all over Barney're face. Barney struggles against the feeling of drowning as he's like a turtle on his back during this whole thing!

GLUG!

GLUG!

GLUG!

Gaylord Cockshafer: Woah! Bourbon is trying to drown Green!

Mike Stump: Not like the guy couldn't use a bath, Cockshafer!

Robbie continues to hold the jug over Barney's head until every drop of water smacked Barney in the face! Bourbon pulls back and throws the empty jug at Barney's head and it bounces off with an empty thud.

Bourbon helps Barney to his feet back the hair on the back of his head and tosses him out of the room. Barney barely had the breath or energy to fight back so he pretty much went until his hit the wall on the opposite side of the hall. Bourbon chases him down, but is met with an elbow across the face! Barney grabs a nearby steel chair and folds it up! He bashes himself in the head with it until his head begins to bleed!!! What is wrong with this guy! He smiles as the blood trickles down his face and Bourbon watches with near amsuement... Barney then screams and pulls the chair back over his head and plants it between the shoulders of Robbie Bourbon! Bourbon wears the chair like a hat before he drops to one knee! Barney smacks the chair off and finishes the job with a DDT on the chair! Barney stands up and punches himself back and forth with rights and lefts in the face and spits the blood on Robbie! Gross!! He picks up his downed opponent and leads him down the hallway, trying different doors on his way by and skipping past them when they're locked. The two men reach the end of the hallway and blast through a double door with an EXIT sign lit up above it.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Uh oh! These guys are leaving the arena now! These guys aren't just going to tear the Richmond Arena apart, they're tearing the city apart as well!!!

Mike Stump: Good riddance! Get 'em outta here!

The official and camera man rush behind them through the doors and into the parking garage. The two big men battle back and forth, bounching off of different vehicles and mobile equipment stored there. Robbie grabs Barney by the head and tries to throw him up onto the hood of the one car, but Barney's huge frame refuses to be pushed up onto it.... Robbie notices a forktruck parked on the far side of the garage and a lightbulb lights above his head.

Mike Stump: Hey, Cockshafer? Isn't that YOUR car?

Gaylord Cockeshafer: ........................

Barney sits against a car catching his breath when we hear an engine and a high pitched horn...

BEEP! BEEP!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: What the HELL are they doing? What's Bourbon up to?

Mike Stump: Uh-oh....

Robbie Bourbon beeps the horn of the fork lift as he drives over to where Barney is parked. He stops the forklift ahead of him, raises the forks off of the ground a tiny bit, and jumps off. Barney meets him in the front of it and tries fighting off the attacks of Robbie Bourbon. He sends Robbie back against the loader, but Bourbon quickly fights back and pulls Barney into the forklift bustin his face off of the hard metal of the machine! Barney falls to his ass and sits on the forks with each leg on each side. Robbie punches Barney a couple of times in the face before he runs to the side and pulls the lever back to lift the forks!!! Bourbon reaches down and pushes the gas pedal to give it some more ass and the fork lift growls and lifts barney six feet into the air!! Bourbon comes back out to the front and stands under the massive Barney Green and pulls him off of the forks and onto his shoulders!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: Oh no......

Mike Stump: HOLY SHIT!! BARNEY'S SO HEAVY! BUT BOURBON MANAGES TO PULL HIM FROM THE FORKS AND POWERBOMB!!! ROBBIE-BOMB!!! ROBBIE-BOMB ONTO THE HOOD OF Cockshafer'S CAR!! UN-FREAKIN'-REAL!!

All of the windows smask out of the car and the front tires pops as Barney bounces off the hood of the car!! The suspension has to be blown to pieces in that thing now! Robbie falls backwards from the move and falls to the ground while Barney lies motionless on the vehicle in a bloody mess from his face down! Cut from the metal and glass now from head to toe! The referee is right on top of it with the count!! ONE!! TWOO!!!!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: This could be it fans! Barney Green was just Robbie-Bombed into a vehicle....

Mike Stump: YOUR vehicle...

Gaylord Cockshafer: .... Parked in the parking garage... Barney looks to be OUT cold...

Robbie reaches a knee and watches as the XWF Xtreme Legend continues to lie motionless atop the destroyed vehicle while the forklift still growls to the side with the forks high in the air. THREE!!! FOUR!!! FIVE!!!

The Bourbon-Men appear out of the woodwork and stand in awe at the wreckage before them. They surround their boss. SIX!!! SEVEN!!!

Robbie Bourbon now reaches his feet and doubles over, continuing to catch his breath bracing himself up by his knees.

EIGHT!!! NINE!!!

Mike Stump: This is it!

TEN!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: It's over! Bourbon is the last man standing in a brawl that could've easily brought the building down if it went any further!!

Winner and the last man standing - Robbie Bourbon!!

Green strobe lights and dimming fill the area as Bad Company hits the loudspeakers. Mixed reactions of love and hate fill the mixed crowd as The Radical emerges in green and black tights reading 'The Very Best, Nothing More, Nothing Less' across the back. He smiles under a Black hood before sprinting and sliding into the ring, removing his hood and telling the ref that "he's back, BITCH".

"My Sacrifice" by Creed booms through the arena, and the crowd cheers in anticipation for the beloved Thomas Nixon. As Scott Stapp's voice plays over the PA, Nixon appears on the stage wearing his black trunks and cape. What stands out to the crowd most is the green lizard insignia on the back of the cape that represents what Thomas is truly fighting for. Nixon races down the ramp, as the crowd applauds him and his cause, whether he is completely insane or not. Nixon hops on the and climbs up the far turnbuckle. Taking off his cape, he then holds it like a flag and gestures at the insignia. The crowd roars in approval, before Thomas enters the ring.

The match begins as Nixon hands his title to the ringside officials and the bell rings. The two rock side to side on their heels, circling each other. Finally they tie up, with Nixon getting a big knee to the gut, as Reno locks him ino a headlock. Nixon breaks it rather quickly and irish whips him into the ropes, but Reno ducks and bounces off the ropes himself, hitting Nixon with a flying clothesline. Nixon, however, is up quickly. Reno bounces back off the ropes and goes for another one, but Nixon this time ducks, and on the way back around he plants Reno with an antomic drop, followed by a kick to the face. Nixon stays with the same ruthless aggression that won him the TV title, staying on Reno and locking arms around for a suplex.

Stump: We saw this at Wildcard. The TV Champ wants to end it early here.

Cockshafer: I think Reno has a few tricks up his sleeve.

1.......2..........3 Suplexes from Nixon. Reno is down, and Thomas covers.

1!

2-----

Reno got a shoulder up. Nixon pulls Reno to his feet and hammers away with a few shots but Reno fights back. The two exhange punches before Nixon is knocked back into the corner. Reno runs and hits a big stinger splash on Nixon. As Nixon is wobbling in the middle of the ring, Reno is sizing him up.

Stump: What does he have in mind here?

Reno runs and jumps, grabbing Nixon by the head in mid air and bulldogging him. After a little crowd posturing, Reno looks at the down Nixon. Then he looks at the top rope. Then back to Nixon. He grins. Jumping up onto the top rope he waves his arms into a "come on! get up!" motion. He jumps, going for a big splash, but hitting just th knees of Nixon who got them up in the last second.

Coughing and spitting, Reno rolled around the ring holding his mid section. Using the ropes to get back to his feet, he sees Nixon charge. Going to the big boot, Reno grabs the TV champ's foot and spins him around. As Nixon's back is now to Reno, Gabe goes to the knees with a chop block. Nixon yells out, holding his leg. Reno begins to stomp away at said leg. Nixon reaches for the ropes to try to get leverage and stand up. Reno grabs him around the waist. GERMAN SUPLEX.

Cover.

1!

2!

Nixon kicked out!

Cockshafer: That suplex came out of nowhere, I think it caught the TV champ off guard.

Reno slaps the mat, frusterated, but stays on the offensive. Grabbing Nixon by the head he is setting him up for a brainbuster when Nixon gets a thumb to the eye to create separation. As Reno stumbles back, Nixon comes off the ropes with a clothesline.

Stump: This match is back and forth and neither man can get a clear advantage!

Cockshafer: Isn't this what you want from a Television Title Match?

Nixon had rolled out of the ring, Reno in pursuit. The ref counting. Reno grabs Nixon and whips him into the ring steps, causing a loud boom and the steps to dislodge. Staying on the shoulder now of Nixon, Reno continues to surgically pick his body apart. He throws Nixon face first into the ring post.

The ref's count is at 8. Reno rolls Nixon into the ring, then rolls in himself.

Cover

1!

Nixon gets the shoulder up.

Reno bounces off the ropes and leg drops Nixon.

Cover.

1!

Shoulder up!

Reno slaps the mat. This was the Chris Chaos match all over again. What did he have to do to keep Nixon down?

LIfting Nixon up he hit a European Uppercut, staggering him, but as Reno went for a spear from the corner Nixon countered into a modified crossface! Crippler Crossface!

Stump: What the hell?! Nixon showing all sorts of range tonight!

Cockshafer: That's why he is TV champ.

Reno struggling, struggling, yelling, reaching for the ropes. Finally he gets there and Nixon is forced to break the hold. Reno is down as Nixon catches some wind. As Reno begins to pull himself up, Nixon grabs him, going for a suplex, but Reno counters! Reno goes to suplex Nixon. Blocked! FALCON ARROW FROM NIXON!

1!

2!

RENO KICKED OUT!

Reno up, wobbling......

NIXON-NATOR!

Stump: ITS OVER! Nobody kicks out of that!

1!

2!

RENO GETS A SHOULDER UP!

Nixon can't believe it! Reno is also rolling onto his knees, trying to get to his feet. He is basically a superhero.

Cockshafer: Reno refuses to stay down!

Nixon grabs him by the arm. Shades of the old Undertaker, he cat walks the top rope. Delivering Old School, Nixon goes up top! Diving off the ropes for a splash, but Reno moves! Nixon belly flops, hits the ring hard.

Reno is slowly getting to the top rope. He catches his balance.

RATED R

1!

CockShafer: Reno is going to be the champion here!

2!

3-------NO NIXON KICKS OUT AT THE LAST MOMENT!

Reno can't believe it! The crowd can't!

Reno wants to finish the job. Lifting Nixon up for the powerbomb, Nixon wiggles out, thumb to the eye, bouncing off ropes, SPEAR!

But Reno drops too. Both men are spent. Both men are down are in the center of the ring as the ref begins to count.

1!

2!

3!

4!

Stump: Holy crap, Gay! Everyone in the world forgot these TV defenses are 15 minutes long!

Cockshafer: You're right, but I'm not gay!

Stump: No, your name...

Cockshafer: I'M NOT GAY!

Stump: Would you look at the timer!?!?!

Up above on the X-Tron, which had apparently been malfunctioning, a timer shows up counting down...

0:15
0:14
0:13

Everyone in the arena seems to notice it at the same time, including Gabe Reno!

Reno gets a second wind and pulls himself to his feet and rushes at Thomas Nixon...

But Nixon rolls out onto the floor!

Reno pulls his hair out and follows Nixon, but as soon as Reno's feet hit the concrete, Nixon rolls back IN to the ring!

Nixon points at his head and then up at the clock as Reno starts losing his mind and clambering for the ropes!

0:03
0:02
0:01
0:00

Gabe Reno gets in the ring and runs at Nixon, but the referee gets in front of him holding him back and pointing at the X-Tron!

The ref signals for the bell and gathers the TV Title belt from ringside, handing it to a smiling Nixon!

Winner and STILL Television Champion - Thomas Nixon

Nixon turns around holding his belt over his head, and as soon as his back is to Gabe Reno, Reno rushes forward and clobbers him from behind with a forearm to the medulla!

Nixon is flat on his face and Reno grabs the TV belt, then slams it straight down onto the skull of the unconscious champion!

Stump: Holy shit!

Cockshafer: Someone needs to check on Nixon, he looks comatose! Throw to commercial!

The crowd chants "XWF" repeatedly in exuberance after such an amazing Saturday Night Savage so far. Unannounced, Paul Heyman plays Buzz Killington and destroys the mood causing empty beer cans to be thrown and infant's to be abandoned out of disgust. He walks down the ramp with urgency and a single que card in hand. He rounds the ring and asks Tig, who stands inside, to take the card and read it to the audience. She resists at first, fearing fir her job, they eventually his pestering gets the best of her.

Mike Stump: Oh, what the hell does he want?

Gaylord Cockshafer: The world, Stump.

Tig O'Bitties: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ADVOCATE FOR MISS DOLLY WATERS HAS ASKED ME TO READING THE FOLLOWING: SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME, THERE HAVE BEEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD, PHENOMS, AND GODLY BLESSINGS... MIRACLES NO ONE COULD EXPLAIN. SOME MIGHT SAY A SMALL GIRL AND MANBEATER IS ONE OF THESE, BUT AS A WONDER WOMAN OF XWF, A CRAFTSWOMAN OF TECHNICALY BRILLIANCE, SHE IS SIMPLY THAT, A MIRACLE. NOW PLEASE RISE.

Mike Stump: What is he on?

Gaylord Cockshafer: I'll take two.

Tig O'Bitties: INTRODUCING, THE UNDISPUTED HART CHAMPION OF YOUR CHEST, THE JEWEL OF KENTUCKY, THE 10TH WONDER OF XWF, AND THE BLESSING OF THIS UNIVERSE... WEIGHING IN AT 79 WEIGHTLESS POUNDS, STANDING AT FIVE FEET AND ON FURLONGS OF DOMINANCE... DOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYY... "THE PRIDE OF PIKEVILE"... WATTTERRRSSSS!

Dolly Waters poses on the stage to her entrance music, with the Hart Championship over her right shoulder. She runs down slapping fans hands, and slides in with a grin. Heyman enters the ring, and grabs the title, then claps obnoxiously fast and points at Dolly. She circles from turnbuckle to turnbuckle pointing out signs in the crowd. Heyman exits, and walks over to take a seat next to the announcers, demanding a headset.

Mike Stump: Well, he does know how to lay it on thick.

Gaylord Cockshafer: What do you mean?

Heyman puts on the headset.

Mike Stump: Nevermind. Just a reminder folks, this Main Event is brought to you by our sponsors... Tostidos, when nothing else fills you up, Tostidos won't either, but damn they're tasty.

Paul Heyman: Hellllooo gentlemen. Doesn't Dolly look ready to show the Universal Champion his demise?

Gaylord Cockshafer: Absolutely.

Tig O'Bitties: Aannnddddd NOW... FROM CLEARWATER BEACH, BY WAY OF TAMPA, FLORIDA... ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY JENNY... STANDING AT SIX FEET, FIVE INCHES... AND WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDSSSS. HE IS THE XWF... UNIIIVERRSSAALLLLLL CHAMMMPPIOONNNN. THE ONE, THE ONLY, CHHRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS CHAAAOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The PA speakers blare his music, Chaos comes out with the Championship around his waist and Henny walking slowly behind him in heels. He raises his arms and ascends the ramp, smiling into a camera, then hoping on the apron, and staring at Dolly. He steps in and hands the title off the Jenny, who flips off Heyman from across the ring.

Paul Heyman: Oh, very classy, what else would I expect from a couple or no good, about to be losers.

Mile Stump: He did win a Wild Card, then keep it, then win a tough match to become champion. I think it is fair to say in the chapters of XWF history, both of these competitors will go down as Hall of Famers if they continue this pace... the small underdog from Kentucky, the braisen chaotic man from Florida... it is being written with matches like this one every week in front of our very eyes. We should give both tremendous credit.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Sorry, Paul, he watches a lot of histories mysteries.

Paul Heyman: CREDITTTT STUMP! HOW ABOUT AFTER THIS MATCH WE SEE WHO HAS THE CREDIT!?

Mike Stump: You're an ass, Paul. Meanwhile the ref has explained the singles rules and the bell has run, off we go.

Dolly stands in the center of the ring, and Chaos begins to circle her. She pounces out at him a few times, but he avoids it and steps back. Chaos pumps uo the crowd for a second, as a mixed reaction gives Dolly time for a diving chop block.

Paul Heyman: YOU DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON DOLLY, FIRST MISTAKE!

Mike Stump: Chaos unsuspecting there.

Dolly smears her boot in the fallen Chaos' face, then stomps several times before the ref back her off. Chris gets up and charges, but Dolly quickly moves, he does it again, and she gets out of the way. Frustrated, Chris nods and goes to the corner, removing a turnbuckle pad and pointing to Dolly.

Gaylord Cockshafer: May not be legal there...

Paul Heyman: DISQUALIFY HIM REF. DO YOUR JOB!

Chris picks up the pad and tosses it out of the ring, Dolly runs over and chop blocks his other leg. Then mounts him and flurry punches his face.

Mike Stump: He turned his back again.

Paul Heyman: MISTAKE NUMBER TWO!

Finding Chaos eventually rolls her off and gets up, met by a springboard dropkick he never saw coming. Dolly runs to the top and delivers a two footed stomp from the top rope to Chaos' midsection. He rolls in pain all the way out of the ring, as Jenny comforts him. He slams his hand on the apron, the points at Dolly, who shrugs and motion for him to bring it. He slides back in and goes for a clothesline, she ducks under and as he turns arounf superkicks him in the face. Chaos rolls back out to Jenny holding his chin, then grabs a chair from under the ring, he walks around to the side of the ring as the ref warns him that this is not a no DQ match. Dolly laughs and points at Chris, as Jenny slides in and pulls Dolly's hair into a faceplant, then slides out and adjusts herself.

Paul Heyman: YOU ARE BY FAR THE WORST REF IN THE WORLD! COME ON, TURN AROUND!

Mike Stump: I'm sure you would never do something like that, Heyman.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Stump, where are your manners... guest.

Paul Heyman: Thank you, Cocksniffer.

Chaos drops the chair and slides in, now dropping sitting leg drops on the back of Dolly's head. He runs to the corner as she rises stunned, he goes in for it and SPEARRRR. He quickly hooks the leg.

Mike Stump: That interference may have stemmed the tide in his favor...

1...

Dolly kicks out and claws his eyes from behind. He gets up holding his face, and walks right into a facebuster. Dolly jumps to the top rope, then turns and bodysplashes Jenny on the outside.

Paul Heyman: THAT IS WHAT YOU GET, VILE WOMAN!

Dolly gets up laughing, Chaos to his feet looks at Jenny down, then Dolly, then Jenny, then Dolly, Jenny, Dolly, Paul, Jenny, Stump, Dolly, Paul, Ref, Jenny, Dolly... and realizes what has happened. He bounces off the opposite ropes and front flips onto Dolly outside.

1...

2...

Mike Stump: Thought he had veritgo there for a second.

3...

Chris throws the much smaller Waters into the ringpost. Her body shrivels to the ground in pain.

4...

Gaylord Cockshafer: He has lost it!

5...

Paul Heyman: REF!!!?

6...

The ref looks at Heyman and continues to count both out. Chaos picks up Dolly and drops her head first on the barrier. He slides in and back out to break the count.

1...

2...

He picks up Dolly and gorilla presses her, then drops her on the floor. He screams about being champion to the crowd, then signals he will rip her "hart" out.

3...

Chaos picks her up by the head, but she brushes it off and rocks him with a series of right hands, left kicks, and finally a round house to the head. He leans back against the ring apron dazed.

4...

Dolly gets up on the apron, then delivers a running mid air RUNNING WATERS laying Chaos out on the outside. She raises her hands to the crowd, and mocks him, saying she will end his "Universe".

Mike Stump: Taste of his own medicine!

Gaylord Cockshafer: Seriously, two please.

5...

6...

Paul Heyman: LEAVE HIM, GET IN THE RING!

7...

8...

Dolly slides into the ring, while a woozy Jenny revives Chaos, he stumbles to his feet just as he hears...

9...

Then slides back in. Dolly wastes no time and baseball slide kicks him back out, launching him through the air, back to the mat below the ring. Heyman leaves the table and shouts some direction at Waters.

1...

2...

Jenny walks around to Paul, and slaps him in the face. He looks on shocked.

Mike Stump: I wanted to do that the entire time.

3...

Gaylord Cockshafer: Ballsy.

4...

Paul chases her around the ring, then runs into a giant clothesline from Chaos, who hovers over him. Just then, Dolly runs down the apron and missle dropkicks Chaos propelling him into the barrier. She kicks Jenny in the stomach, then tosses her over the barrier into the most desperate looking fans, who gladly hold on.

5...

Dolly hops back into the ring and holds up her hand to the DOLLYVERSE. Heyman slowly gets up and heads back over to the announce table.

6...

Mike Stump: Oh, goody.

Heyman grabs a microphone off the table, knocking over a water bottle, and yells at Dolly who looks at him.

7...

Paul Heyman: FINISH HIM DOLLY!!! He clotheslined me! FINISH HIM, NOW!!

She turns around, then flies onto her back from a massive Wrong Side of the Tracks SUPERKICK from the re-entered Chris Chaos. He picks her up, and sickly smiles at the crowd, before attempting an EQUALIZER. But Dolly slides around into a SIMPLY STUNNING front flip stunner. She covers him with all she has left.

1...

2...

Mike Stump: SHE KICKED OUT!

Paul Heyman: Oh, THANK GOD!

Gaylord Cockshafer: HEY WHERE'S MY WATER BOTTLE!?

Dolly rolls off, then walks over then up to the second rope. Chaos get to his feet, she dives at him, but he catches her crossbody, then raises her up, and drops her face first onto the exposed turnbuckle. She crumbles, he goes for the cover.

1...

2...

THRE...

Mike Stump: NOOOO! She looked completely OUT, HOW DID SHE KICK OUT!?

Paul Heyman: DISQUALIFY HIM RIGHT NOW!!

Gaylord Cockshafer: OH, HERE IT IS!

They look at him.

Gaylord Cockshafer: What? I was thirsty?

Mike Stump: Chaos looks like a train just hit his entire immediate family, doesn't know what to do here.

The X-Tron flickers on, with the following words.

Understanding Radicality.

Contemplating Radicality.

Executing Radicality.

Followed by the indestinct chant of "CHAA, CHAA, CHAA" in the distant background. Chaos turns and is hit with a wizard RUNNING WATERS knee strike, then rolled into a small package by Waters.

1...

2...

THRE...

Mike Stump: NOOOOO! TWO CHAMPIONS THAT WILL NOT GIVE UP!

Paul Heyman: NOOOOO! GIVE IT UP CHAOS!

Gaylord Cockshafer: NOOOOO!

They look at him.

Gaylord Cockshafer: Paul took what I was going to say.

Mike Stump: Another weird message here like at Wild Card to Chaos, that one nearly cost him this match.

Both lay in the ring exhausted as the ref starts a standing 10 count.

1...

2...

Paul Heyman: UP DOLLY, UP!

3...

4...

Mike Stump: Neither is moving much.

5...

6...

Gaylord Cockshaffer: Are we getting dinner after this, Stump?

7...

Mike Stump: NOT NOW!

8...

Paul Heyman: COME ON DOLLFACE!

9...

Dolly is up!

Chaos too!

Both champions are up to their feet, but then Chaos suddenly looks woozy and grabs at his head... then stumbles... then falls to his knees!

The referee looks perplexed and may be considering cutting this match short due to injury, but Dolly isn't having it!

Dolly runs right at Chris Chaos and swings her knee at him for...

RUNNING WATERS!!!!!!

CHRIS CHAOS WAS PLAYING POSSUM!!!! HE CAUGHT DOLLY IN MIDAIR!!!!

EQUALIZERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dolly Waters' head bounces off the mat and her pupils dilate! She's out cold! Chaos hooks a leg!

1!

2!

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner by pinfall - XWF Universal Champion, CHRIS CHAOS

Stump: CHRIS CHAOS HAS DONE IT!!!!

Cockshafer: What a win for the Universal Champion!!!

Stump: Let's just pretend Heyman was never here since it doesn't make any sense anymore! And the TV timer thing! Everything went perfectly fine on this episode!

Cockshafer: Join us next week! Goddnight!!!!

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · (12-20-2016)

Chris chaos will lose the belt soon..

Killjoy · **12-20-2016, 06:34 AM**

Remember kids! That was...

#KJXWFT51

I'll repeat that for those of you hard of hearing, in the cheap seat or weren't paying attention:

#KJXWFT51

Chris Chaos · (12-21-2016)

Peter, I beg to differ. But even if I do, my Uni reign has already been longer than yours, good sir

~~Broken Hart~~ · (12-20-2016)

Ronnie, David, Brandon... great work out there, gentlemen. Good job. I feel as if it had been my team vs yours, three on three, we would have won. That insipid boor, Nami, cost her team the loss, thus giving the three of you a win. If it had only been the six of us, things wouldn't have gone quite the same... but congratulations nevertheless.

See you again soon, Havoc.

#11Days

|save_us._33_3|

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Savage [s]Saturday[/s] Sunday Night 12/18
Author	Message