PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY

The word STAMINA. It was an interesting concept. What made the human body continue to push on long after it should have quit? Chris always wondered this. He always thought it was the mind---if you are mentally strong there isn’t anything you can’t do.

But that isn’t practical. You need to be strong all around, and physically is probably one of the top in the importance category. Rudy was mentally strong but he would take beating after beating. If he were bigger, stronger, faster AND had his mental drive, the movie would have been different. It would have been geared around how you STOP someone like that. Chris was all three, he was practically a force of nature. He was the perfect storm. He was a hurricane, a tornado, an earthquake….all rolled into one.

But that isn’t enough. There is ALWAYS room for improvements in everything. Your best is never enough. You always have to look at life as you continue to improve and improve until it is literally no longer possible. Your heart and mind work as one, in unison, the ying and the yang.

……….The familiar clink-clank, clink-clank of the metal weights. The reps, the sets, the rotations. The burn, the pain. It was all good. It was all welcomed. It was all weakness that was being converted into strength. The weight room was empty. Chris had his Beats Pill on, connected to his LG v10 and his Spotify account. Fuck Apple, iPhones and iTunes.

He sat on the bench, picking up the 80 lb dumbbells. He was going to start off heavier than usual. This was a 20 man rumble, he needed stamina. If he could push through this workout, he could push through anything.

The song was set. He was ready to let the words take control, take him to another world, help him push through this.



Dig bury me
Underneath everything that I am rearranging
Dig bury me
Underneath everything that I was slowly changing
I would love to beat the face,
Of any motherfucker that's thinkin' they can change me
White knuckles grip pushing through for the gold
If you want a piece of me I broke the motherfuckin' mold
I'm drowning in your wake
Shit rubbed in my face
Teething on concrete
Gums bleeding

…6...7...8….9….10

Goddamn that song is crack! Metal, oh you are a gift from the gods!

But he needed to keep pushing on. Never settle, ESPECIALLY if it feels good. If it feels good, you are doing it wrong.

He pulled the 80 lbers back up. He would need stamina for this match. His biceps rippled as he lifted them back over his head, then out.

I struggle in violated space
Sell out motherfuckers in the biz that try to fuck me
Hang by their Ts rated PG in sight
I ain't sellin' my soul when there's nothin' to buy
I'm livid in my space
Pissing in my face
Fuck you while you try
To fuck me
Dig bury me
Underneath everything that I am rearranging
Dig bury me
Underneath everything that I was you ain't fuckin' changin' me
Dig see'mon motherfucker
Dig see'mon motherfucker
Dig see'mon motherfucker
Dig
…..28...29...30

AHHH! Fuck yeah! He has already tossed 6 or 7 motherfucks over the ropes! ARRGH!

But then he set the weights down. There was a part of this song that seemed familiar. It was, to a T, his status in the XWF. HE was the top dawg, and he knew it, and he was helping those under him rise up or fall down, depending on how they chose to look at it.


Let me help you tie the rope around your neck
Let me help to talk you the wrong way off a ledge
Let me help you hold the glock against your head
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck
Let me help to talk you the wrong way off a ledge
Let me help you hold the glock against your head
Let me help you chain the weights onto your legs
Get on the plank fuck

…...Yeah. This was his chance to show that he was actually helping them by tossing them over that rope. I mean, by being the best he would bring out the best in them, right?


…...Then, another song hit. And his mind was flooded with thoughts of a love long lost.



Oh Devon
Won't go to Heaven
She's just another lost soul, about to be mine again
Leave her
We will receive her
It is beyond your control
Will you ever meet again.

Nicole.

He grunted out the end of the 30 rep set. His teeth were grit. He eyes were squinted. He was focused. He was determined. Would he see her again? If he threw 19 other douchebags over the top rop and won this belt, would he see her again?

He would trade in his Wildcard to see her again.

But he knew he never would, he had done way too much damage.

Devon
One of eleven
Who had been rendered unwhole.
As a little child,
She was taken
And then forsaken
You will remember it all
Let it blow your mind again.
Devon lies beyond this portal
Take the word of one immortal

….he had done that. He had shaken up her life at an early age. Her getting sent away, was it his fault? No. He refused to believe that---but something was ripping and tearing inside, telling him it was. Something was eating voraciously from the inside out…….taking his organs with it. This beast was dwelling. He had to win this match not just for him but for Nicole.


…….Ni-fucking-cole.

Picking up the 100 dumbbells. His arms burned. He liked the pain.

He needed the pain.

He pushed them out and up. 1….2….

The song raged on.

Give your soul to me
For eternity
Release your life
To begin another time with her
End your grief with me
There's another way
Release your life
Take your place inside the fire with her
Sever
Now and forever
You're just another lost soul about to be mine again
See her, you'll never free her
You must surrender it all
In your life to meet again

…..Keep pushing through. The pain is good. Your mind will quit long before your body does. You must not let your mind quit. Never quit.

He would win this match and he WOULD see Nicole again. When? He didn’t know. He had seen her sporadically since the house fire in 2006---but this time it would be forever. He would let her know how he feels. He would let her know the pain the anguish…….but he couldn’t let her know how he feels if he was a loser. If he lost this match, as far as he was concerned, he would lose Nicole forever.

Why would she want someone who wasn’t a winner? She was perfect.

She deserved perfect.

Sever
Now and forever
You're just another lost soul about to be mine again
See her, you'll never free her
You must surrender it all
In your life to meet again
Fire
All you desire
As she begins to turn cold and run out of time
You will shiver
Till you deliver
You will remember it all
Let it blow your mind again
Devon lies beyond this portal
Take the word of one immortal
Give your soul to me
For eternity
Release your life
To begin another time with her
End your grief with me
There's another way
Release your life
Take your place inside the fire with her.

“…...Graaaarrgh!” Dropping the weight down, the smacked the padded gym floor with an ugly thud.

This match was going to push him to the brink, but he knew that. He was a fighter his entire life. He never settled. Guys like Gator. Guys like FN Dom. FN Gil. Guys who were among the best this company had to offer. They were going to push him. Hell, even RENO’s bitch ass had a shot. When you are at the top, you have a target on your back. You are public enemy number one. He was. He needed to survive more than anything else. Survive and adapt.

Stamina.

Chris got off the seat and took at 45 lb weight. He was going to do 200 crunches while holding it.

Stamina.



He sat up for his first as the song blared.

I'm alone in a crowded room
Conversations that I'll never remember
Trapped in a reality
That shouldn't be, that shouldn't be
Show me the way
Allow me to see, 'cause my heart is broken
Be my escape
Allow me to hear with a word unspoken
Oh, I am separated
From the one I was made to love

……..Dolly waters had some harsh words for him. She didn’t respect him. If a 13 year old little snot nosed punk didn’t respect, how would a perfect woman like Nicole ever respect him. Was he that much of a joke?

NO!

Get those thoughts out. Dolly was just a kid. Hell, she barely knew what her own clitoris did much less who is a star in this business. She was clueless. Chris needed to beat a clue into her. Her and Peter FN Gilmore. No, Chris didn’t ‘forget’ he was in the match. He just didn’t matter to Chris. He was just 1 of 19 other roadblocks. Quite frankly, everyone in this match was the same. They were all equal. They were all victims.

…..they were all subjects in the Chaos Theory experiment. They were nothing but mice.

Every.

Single.

One.

What is this life void of love?
It's not a life at all
What is this life void of love?
Can you feel your heart as it hits the ground?
Can you feel your heart as it hits the ground?
This darkness closing in
Is just beginning
This darkness closing in
Is never going to end
How do you expect me to trust you
When everything you say is a lie?

….Everything he had been told previously had been a lie. Everything out of the mouths of all of these jabroni’s. Lies, Lies, Lies. Dolly Waters.

Lies.

Gator.

LIES

Mr. Dominance

LiEs!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Will someone be straight with him for once?! Are the voices the only ones that are real?


They can’t be.

Those voice tell him to maim, to disfigure, to cripple…..

…..to kill.

The crunches continued…...120…..130…..



Come to me
Come to me
I am waiting for you
Come to me
I can't wait
Follow me, follow me
As I trip the darkness
One more time
Follow me, follow me
I awake from madness
Just in time
What a day
Seconds, minutes and hours spill over
There's no time here in space
What a day
I see…

……..He needed to keep pushing on. Robbie Bourbon had now come out of his homosexual hiding spot and decided to weigh in. A man with that much mass? Chris needed his muscle game on point. He needed to be stronger than ever before. If he was going to take this gluttonous mass of protoplasm over the rope, he needed to make sure that he had enough STAMINA to lift him late in the match.

Jumping up from the crunches he went immediately into a jog, running around the indoor track that encompassed the weight room with 40 lb dumbbells in his hands.

He had to out last.

He had to win in the 4th quarter

Survive and adapt.

Win.



I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
Before I forget that!
I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
Before I forget that!

….He was a monster. He would show them all. Kitt Kennedy, Isabella, Bob Marley or whoever the fuck he was. Lavey, Thorne, it didn’t matter. He was the conqueror of conquerors. He could not, would not, lose.

Sure he had a goal to win the Universal Title. But if he were able to win this title as his FIRST title in this company. That would cement the legacy he was going to create before he even creates it.

Who in this company was more extreme than him? Who in this match was more extreme than him? It wasn’t Jakob Davis. It wasn’t Reno, Ellsworth, Gomez, Payne…...nobody. He was the king of extreme. Who has had more brutal matches than him?

…...he had sooooooooooooooooooooooo much blood on his hands.

He was a monster.

And this monster was going to win.

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
Before I forget that!
I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
Before I forget that!
I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
I wear you like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to win, I'm just caught up all the battles
Locked in clutch
Pushed in place
Hold your breath
And listen!

…….Throwing those weights he then took a drink of his 2 gallon water jug. His body ached. It was screaming at him. It was begging to slow down. It was pleading to be given a break. But his mind---oh his mind---was sharp as ever. He needed his mind to be sharp. He needed his mind to be on point. If he was going to beat 19 other superstars, he had to make sure he was as fit as possible in all areas.

And that is the funny thing. At first—he didn’t give two fucks about this match. He only signed up for it because he likes to kick ass and he figured it would be something to do. But as the time went on...and the stakes got larger, the pool increased, and the people in the match began flapping their skin flaps, it began to mean more to him.

……..This was the most important thing in his life right now, besides getting Nicole back.

He would cross this bridge one inch at a time. Whatever happened in this match he still had his wild card. He WOULD enter the chamber, he WOULD win the Universal Title……

But all of that seemed so far away. It was a blur.

Right now all that mattered was Doctor D’Ville’s SHOVE IT! Battle Royal.

OKAY BREAK TIME OVER

His internal clock went off. His mind made him push through it. Running again, 3 miles, this time with leg weights. His legs felt like jello, but he needed to make sure he stayed upright. There would be at least someone with fresh legs at the closing stages of this match----

he needed to make sure he was one of them.

His legs felt like he was lifting 1,000 lbs on them each. But that was good. He wanted it.

He………….NEEDED……..this.

As he went to the leg press machine, putting 850 on it, he glared at the ominous poster of Doctor D’Ville. His face. Those eyes. He had seen those eyes up close and personal. Doc, in his old age, never quit. He never showed weakness. He never showed pain.

…...he was almost immortal.

Chris knew that this match didn’t stop here. It contained ALL of the other Wildcard Holders. Trax and his Malcom X ass, War Pig and his inbred sickness, Robbie Bourbon and his almost too big to be real body style, and Unknown Soldier---the man who dropped this belt and made this match possible to begin with.

………..ALL of them he WOULD be seeing again, unless something catastrophic happened.

…..He pushed with his legs. His eyes watered…..

56…..57…..58….

His legs were completely jello. That was good. They would feel this way and he would know how to combat it.

Suddenly...when he felt his legs weakening…...when he felt he couldn’t get another one up...like his body was quitting on him……..

His theme song came on.

DIE MF DIE by DOPE

He said out loud, imagining he was standing in the middle of the ring……


“YOUR WINNER…...AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW XTREME CHAMPION! CHHHHHHRIS CHHHHHHHHAOOOOOOOSSSSSS”

He yelled thru the OSS part. Just as the guitar riff hit.

I don't need your forgiveness
I don't need your hate
I don't need your acceptance
So what should I do

101….102….103

“GRRARRRRRHH”

I don't need your resistance
I don't need your prayers
I don't need no religion
I don't need a thing from you
I don't do what I've been told
Your so lame why don't you
Just go
Die mother fucker die mother fucker die


He was amped now. This was his theme song. His entrance song. This song defined him. He didn’t need anything from anyone other than himself. He looked into Doc’s eyes on the poster, stared a hole through them as deep as they were, and continued to push on……

107….108...109

I don't need your prison
I don't need your pain
I don't need your decision
So what should I do
I don't need your approval
I don't need your hope
I don't need your lectures
I don't need a thing from you
I'll be sorry when I'm old
You're so full of shit man
Just go…

“GRRAAARGGHH”

He felt like a warrior. A gladiator. He felt ready to climb Everest. To take take on every obstacle in the world.

He felt untouchable.

Ever since he walked in here, nobody believed him him. He had to EARN his way here. He was just another cast off from a shut down E-Fed that had accolades that meant nothing to anyone…..

He had to EARN every.single.thing he has gotten here. And he STILL wasn’t close to where he wanted to be. He wasn’t even close to being close.
He needed more. It ran through his veins like a poison. He needed to win this match and hoist that belt. Why? Because he COULD. Because he was top tier. He was upper echelon. He was a god among pawns here.

Dolly, eat your heart out. You are a double champ. Big fucking deal. You had the Hart Title, that was a good accomplishment---but you wouldn’t go any further. You will never have anymore success as long as I am here……..

His thoughts were sporadic now. He was in a rage. He was seeing red. He was starting to spin.

He had to EARN his name. So far, people still felt like they could disrespect him. By the time his goals were accomplished, they would FEAR him. Fear is a strong word. Chris loved it.

Die mother fucker die mother fucker die
Boom
I don't need your forgiveness
I don't need your hate
I don't need your acceptance
So what should I do
I'll be sorry so you've said
I'm not sorry
Bang You're Dead
Die mother fucker die mother fucker die
Die

…………….306…..307…...308

He pushed a final time to 310. Letting off with a grunt he got off the machine. He could barely walk. He couldn’t. He hit the mat with a wobble, his hands catching his body weight.

A smile came across his face. He loved pain. He loved pain when it served a purpose. This pain was a pain he would always use.

Crawling to the desk by the front door, he used his upper body strength to pull himself up. He steadied himself and gabbed a Gatorade. Chugging it, he slowly made his way out to the parking lot.

His banged up and battered Jeep was waiting for him. It would match his banged up and battered body. He could still hear dope playing in the background.

I'll be sorry so you've said
I'm not sorry
Bang You're Dead
Die mother fucker die mother fucker die
Die

He had said what he needed to say to who he needed to say it to. He had spoken too much for his liking. There was nothing left to say. Talk is cheap. Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk. He had talked all this game, now he needed to live up to it. He would.....

He had to.....

He had to take adversity and SHOVE IT!

He put the Jeep in drive as a poster of Doc fluttered in the breeze. The tape had let loose and the poster advertising the match landed in the street. Staying there for a second, with Doc's piercing eyes, before blowing away.

A new era would begin on November 4th.

BOOM

XWF RECORD: 10-2-2

Only let me post 5 videos

but here is DIE MF DIE in case you wanna listen and follow along